RE: Teachers/Amy and disability

[Guest guest]

I absolutely adore 's teacher and feel we are very very lucky to have

her involved in his life. As a parent I have to be careful of the people I

trust to care for my child, but I do my best to judge them as individuals.

> Sue ~ thank you One thing I learned as a parent and follow thru

> with as teacher is ALL behavior;s aren't because our kids have

> autism. There are a lot of behaviors that are autistically based, BUT

> there are a lot that aren't. Noah doesn't whine about wanting to

> watch an Arthur video because he is autistic, he whines because he is

> a 6 y/o. Lucas doesn't have poor sportsmanship because he has

> Aspergers, most 8 y/o haven't learned the trait to respect their

> peers.

Maybe this is harder for me because is still so young, or maybe it's

that I really do not know what a typical 3 year old is like. I think

perhaps as a teacher you are exposed to so many different children that you

are better able to know what really is age-appropriate behavior, and what

things you need to make allowances for because of a child's special needs.

Am I making any sense?

I would not say I treat like he is disabled but I do make allowances

for his needs. I've been thinking about this more lately as Gabe is

starting to surpass in many areas of development. We have just done

the things we need to do without thinking too much about them. We do what

works. But what works for Gabe is very different from what works for

.

I know that I can't expect to understand about dangers or expect him

to look at me when I call his name or to stop when I tell him to stop. Is

that because he is a 3 year old boy? Partly, I'm sure. Is it because he's

autistic? Those deficits are definitely a part of autism. I have to change

my expectations and my actions to keep him safe. wears a leash in

public for these reasons. I would never have thought to leash Gabe simply

because he IS able to do those things - he is scared of moving cars and

getting too far away from us, he reacts when I call his name or say " No " or

" stop. " Gabe's receptive language at 18 months is substantially higher than

's at 3 years. But *of course* we continue to work toward

being able to do those things. We expect BOTH of our children to continue

to grow and develop and learn to the best of their abilities.

I can't expect to be able to sit still in a shopping cart while I

get groceries. Of course some of that is because he's a 3 year old boy, but

the autism is also a part of it. I know that has a high need for

movement due to his severe sensory issues. We are taking baby steps with

this...Currently all 4 of us go to the store and one parent follows

around while the other one shops with Gabe in the cart. We are working on

staying close to us and not grabbing things off the shelves and

being careful not to run into other people and etc. He is learning these

things systematically. As we progress we will expect more of him and

eventually he will be expected to walk beside the cart for the entire

shopping trip. Right now that is not a reasonable expectation for ,

although it might well be reasonable for a typical 3 year old. Does that

mean I'm treating him like he's disabled? And again, I don't expect to have

to do ANY of this with Gabe. He just does not have that intense need for

movement and he is perfectly happy sitting in the cart interacting with a

parent while we shop. That is a reasonable expectation for Gabe.

I worry that I am too lax with and expect too little of him because

of his problems. But seeing how Gabe is progressing and learning helps me

to understand that the things Gabe easily picks up must be taught, step by

step, to . Seeing how Gabe is able to behave helps assure me that

is not spoiled but truly unable to behave in the same ways. Gabe

has abilities and needs does not; has needs and abilities

Gabe does not. I treat my children differently, but they are different

people.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

--I think that once a child is labeled autistic, many times

the " normal " part of the child gets missed by others. Everything

comes down to their " autism " Grown men have poor sportsmanship. Just

watch a pro hockey game and this is evident. yes, and grown people

whine over movies as well. Pay upwards of 7.50 and anyone would

grumble when they see a bomb at the movies. I think with autism, its

the intensity of the behavior.

Thea

- In parenting_autism@y..., " The Byks " <thebyks@e...> wrote:

> I absolutely adore 's teacher and feel we are very very

lucky to have

> her involved in his life. As a parent I have to be careful of the

people I

> trust to care for my child, but I do my best to judge them as

individuals.

>

> > Sue ~ thank you One thing I learned as a parent and follow

thru

> > with as teacher is ALL behavior;s aren't because our kids have

> > autism. There are a lot of behaviors that are autistically

based, BUT

> > there are a lot that aren't. Noah doesn't whine about wanting to

> > watch an Arthur video because he is autistic, he whines because

he is

> > a 6 y/o. Lucas doesn't have poor sportsmanship because he has

> > Aspergers, most 8 y/o haven't learned the trait to respect their

> > peers.

>

> Maybe this is harder for me because is still so young, or

maybe it's

> that I really do not know what a typical 3 year old is like. I

think

> perhaps as a teacher you are exposed to so many different children

that you

> are better able to know what really is age-appropriate behavior,

and what

> things you need to make allowances for because of a child's

special needs.

> Am I making any sense?

>

> I would not say I treat like he is disabled but I do make

allowances

> for his needs. I've been thinking about this more lately as Gabe

is

> starting to surpass in many areas of development. We have

just done

> the things we need to do without thinking too much about them. We

do what

> works. But what works for Gabe is very different from what works

for

> .

>

> I know that I can't expect to understand about dangers or

expect him

> to look at me when I call his name or to stop when I tell him to

stop. Is

> that because he is a 3 year old boy? Partly, I'm sure. Is it

because he's

> autistic? Those deficits are definitely a part of autism. I have

to change

> my expectations and my actions to keep him safe. wears a

leash in

> public for these reasons. I would never have thought to leash

Gabe simply

> because he IS able to do those things - he is scared of moving

cars and

> getting too far away from us, he reacts when I call his name or

say " No " or

> " stop. " Gabe's receptive language at 18 months is substantially

higher than

> 's at 3 years. But *of course* we continue to work toward

> being able to do those things. We expect BOTH of our children to

continue

> to grow and develop and learn to the best of their abilities.

>

> I can't expect to be able to sit still in a shopping cart

while I

> get groceries. Of course some of that is because he's a 3 year

old boy, but

> the autism is also a part of it. I know that has a high

need for

> movement due to his severe sensory issues. We are taking baby

steps with

> this...Currently all 4 of us go to the store and one parent

follows

> around while the other one shops with Gabe in the cart. We are

working on

> staying close to us and not grabbing things off the

shelves and

> being careful not to run into other people and etc. He is

learning these

> things systematically. As we progress we will expect more of him

and

> eventually he will be expected to walk beside the cart for the

entire

> shopping trip. Right now that is not a reasonable expectation for

,

> although it might well be reasonable for a typical 3 year old.

Does that

> mean I'm treating him like he's disabled? And again, I don't

expect to have

> to do ANY of this with Gabe. He just does not have that intense

need for

> movement and he is perfectly happy sitting in the cart interacting

with a

> parent while we shop. That is a reasonable expectation for Gabe.

>

> I worry that I am too lax with and expect too little of

him because

> of his problems. But seeing how Gabe is progressing and learning

helps me

> to understand that the things Gabe easily picks up must be taught,

step by

> step, to . Seeing how Gabe is able to behave helps assure

me that

> is not spoiled but truly unable to behave in the same

ways. Gabe

> has abilities and needs does not; has needs and

abilities

> Gabe does not. I treat my children differently, but they are

different

> people.

>

> -Sara.

[Guest guest]

Did you buy the leash? I'd like to get something

like that for ny when we go to big public

places but am not sure where to look.

jen

>I absolutely adore 's teacher and feel we are very very lucky to have

>her involved in his life. As a parent I have to be careful of the people I

>trust to care for my child, but I do my best to judge them as individuals.

>

>> Sue ~ thank you One thing I learned as a parent and follow thru

>> with as teacher is ALL behavior;s aren't because our kids have

>> autism. There are a lot of behaviors that are autistically based, BUT

>> there are a lot that aren't. Noah doesn't whine about wanting to

>> watch an Arthur video because he is autistic, he whines because he is

>> a 6 y/o. Lucas doesn't have poor sportsmanship because he has

>> Aspergers, most 8 y/o haven't learned the trait to respect their

>> peers.

>

>Maybe this is harder for me because is still so young, or maybe it's

>that I really do not know what a typical 3 year old is like. I think

>perhaps as a teacher you are exposed to so many different children that you

>are better able to know what really is age-appropriate behavior, and what

>things you need to make allowances for because of a child's special needs.

>Am I making any sense?

>

>I would not say I treat like he is disabled but I do make allowances

>for his needs. I've been thinking about this more lately as Gabe is

>starting to surpass in many areas of development. We have just done

>the things we need to do without thinking too much about them. We do what

>works. But what works for Gabe is very different from what works for

>.

>

>I know that I can't expect to understand about dangers or expect him

>to look at me when I call his name or to stop when I tell him to stop. Is

>that because he is a 3 year old boy? Partly, I'm sure. Is it because he's

>autistic? Those deficits are definitely a part of autism. I have to change

>my expectations and my actions to keep him safe. wears a leash in

>public for these reasons. I would never have thought to leash Gabe simply

>because he IS able to do those things - he is scared of moving cars and

>getting too far away from us, he reacts when I call his name or say " No " or

> " stop. " Gabe's receptive language at 18 months is substantially higher than

>'s at 3 years. But *of course* we continue to work toward

>being able to do those things. We expect BOTH of our children to continue

>to grow and develop and learn to the best of their abilities.

>

>I can't expect to be able to sit still in a shopping cart while I

>get groceries. Of course some of that is because he's a 3 year old boy, but

>the autism is also a part of it. I know that has a high need for

>movement due to his severe sensory issues. We are taking baby steps with

>this...Currently all 4 of us go to the store and one parent follows

>around while the other one shops with Gabe in the cart. We are working on

> staying close to us and not grabbing things off the shelves and

>being careful not to run into other people and etc. He is learning these

>things systematically. As we progress we will expect more of him and

>eventually he will be expected to walk beside the cart for the entire

>shopping trip. Right now that is not a reasonable expectation for ,

>although it might well be reasonable for a typical 3 year old. Does that

>mean I'm treating him like he's disabled? And again, I don't expect to have

>to do ANY of this with Gabe. He just does not have that intense need for

>movement and he is perfectly happy sitting in the cart interacting with a

>parent while we shop. That is a reasonable expectation for Gabe.

>

>I worry that I am too lax with and expect too little of him because

>of his problems. But seeing how Gabe is progressing and learning helps me

>to understand that the things Gabe easily picks up must be taught, step by

>step, to . Seeing how Gabe is able to behave helps assure me that

> is not spoiled but truly unable to behave in the same ways. Gabe

>has abilities and needs does not; has needs and abilities

>Gabe does not. I treat my children differently, but they are different

>people.

>

>-Sara.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Did you buy the leash? I'd like to get something

> like that for ny when we go to big public

> places but am not sure where to look.

Our WalMart and ToysRUs carry them, and you can also get them online.

Search for " toddler leash " or " safety tether. " I have a couple different

ones but the one I like best is our Mayawrap. http://www.mayawrap.com/

This was originally my baby carrier for Gabe. I like that it is very wide &

there's a lot of fabric around him; he is nicely padded when he pulls and

fights against it. An older kid could squirm out of it though I think. He

gets mad and tugs against it and that just makes it tighter, but some kids

might realize they can tug the rings and make it looser and get out of it.

It's a bit expensive to buy just for this but you could make your own pretty

easily if you sew.

Be careful if you get a tether that attaches to the child's wrist. If you

or they pull on it it is very easy for them to lose their balance, and then

that hand is being held back from catching their fall. Faces hit cement.

They are also easier to get off - some of them are just velcro.

I have also used a dog leash that is meant to clip around the person's

waist. It worked well but the nylon irritated Mikey's skin. He can only

wear 100% cotton. Another reason I like the Maya for him. I think I'm

going to have to get another one - or maybe two! yikes! - for the new

baby(ies)!

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

Here's one I found online, but your local Wal-Mart or Target probably has

them LOTS cheaper.

http://www.onestepahead.com/jump.jsp?lGen=detail & itemID=333 & itemType=PRODUCT

& iMainCat=117 & iSubCat=139 & iProductID=333

Re: Teachers/Amy and disability

Did you buy the leash? I'd like to get something

like that for ny when we go to big public

places but am not sure where to look.

jen

>I absolutely adore 's teacher and feel we are very very lucky to

have

>her involved in his life. As a parent I have to be careful of the people

I

>trust to care for my child, but I do my best to judge them as

individuals.

>

>> Sue ~ thank you One thing I learned as a parent and follow thru

>> with as teacher is ALL behavior;s aren't because our kids have

>> autism. There are a lot of behaviors that are autistically based, BUT

>> there are a lot that aren't. Noah doesn't whine about wanting to

>> watch an Arthur video because he is autistic, he whines because he is

>> a 6 y/o. Lucas doesn't have poor sportsmanship because he has

>> Aspergers, most 8 y/o haven't learned the trait to respect their

>> peers.

>

>Maybe this is harder for me because is still so young, or maybe

it's

>that I really do not know what a typical 3 year old is like. I think

>perhaps as a teacher you are exposed to so many different children that

you

>are better able to know what really is age-appropriate behavior, and what

>things you need to make allowances for because of a child's special

needs.

>Am I making any sense?

>

>I would not say I treat like he is disabled but I do make

allowances

>for his needs. I've been thinking about this more lately as Gabe is

>starting to surpass in many areas of development. We have just

done

>the things we need to do without thinking too much about them. We do

what

>works. But what works for Gabe is very different from what works for

>.

>

>I know that I can't expect to understand about dangers or expect

him

>to look at me when I call his name or to stop when I tell him to stop.

Is

>that because he is a 3 year old boy? Partly, I'm sure. Is it because

he's

>autistic? Those deficits are definitely a part of autism. I have to

change

>my expectations and my actions to keep him safe. wears a leash

in

>public for these reasons. I would never have thought to leash Gabe

simply

>because he IS able to do those things - he is scared of moving cars and

>getting too far away from us, he reacts when I call his name or say " No "

or

> " stop. " Gabe's receptive language at 18 months is substantially higher

than

>'s at 3 years. But *of course* we continue to work toward

>being able to do those things. We expect BOTH of our children to

continue

>to grow and develop and learn to the best of their abilities.

>

>I can't expect to be able to sit still in a shopping cart while I

>get groceries. Of course some of that is because he's a 3 year old boy,

but

>the autism is also a part of it. I know that has a high need for

>movement due to his severe sensory issues. We are taking baby steps with

>this...Currently all 4 of us go to the store and one parent follows

>around while the other one shops with Gabe in the cart. We are working

on

> staying close to us and not grabbing things off the shelves and

>being careful not to run into other people and etc. He is learning these

>things systematically. As we progress we will expect more of him and

>eventually he will be expected to walk beside the cart for the entire

>shopping trip. Right now that is not a reasonable expectation for

,

>although it might well be reasonable for a typical 3 year old. Does that

>mean I'm treating him like he's disabled? And again, I don't expect to

have

>to do ANY of this with Gabe. He just does not have that intense need for

>movement and he is perfectly happy sitting in the cart interacting with a

>parent while we shop. That is a reasonable expectation for Gabe.

>

>I worry that I am too lax with and expect too little of him

because

>of his problems. But seeing how Gabe is progressing and learning helps

me

>to understand that the things Gabe easily picks up must be taught, step

by

>step, to . Seeing how Gabe is able to behave helps assure me that

> is not spoiled but truly unable to behave in the same ways. Gabe

>has abilities and needs does not; has needs and abilities

>Gabe does not. I treat my children differently, but they are different

>people.

>

>-Sara.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Did you buy the leash? I'd like to get something

> like that for ny when we go to big public

> places but am not sure where to look.

I got one of these for Mark at Wal-mart. They are in the

baby/toddler section. I think they are called a harness on the

package.

Tina W.

[Guest guest]

We just hook a regular leash to a belt loop and let 'em stare.

Sissi

RE: Teachers/Amy and disability

> > Did you buy the leash? I'd like to get something

> > like that for ny when we go to big public

> > places but am not sure where to look.

>

> Our WalMart and ToysRUs carry them, and you can also get them online.

> Search for " toddler leash " or " safety tether. " I have a couple different

> ones but the one I like best is our Mayawrap. http://www.mayawrap.com/

> This was originally my baby carrier for Gabe. I like that it is very wide

&

> there's a lot of fabric around him; he is nicely padded when he pulls and

> fights against it. An older kid could squirm out of it though I think.

He

> gets mad and tugs against it and that just makes it tighter, but some kids

> might realize they can tug the rings and make it looser and get out of it.

> It's a bit expensive to buy just for this but you could make your own

pretty

> easily if you sew.

>

> Be careful if you get a tether that attaches to the child's wrist. If you

> or they pull on it it is very easy for them to lose their balance, and

then

> that hand is being held back from catching their fall. Faces hit cement.

> They are also easier to get off - some of them are just velcro.

>

> I have also used a dog leash that is meant to clip around the person's

> waist. It worked well but the nylon irritated Mikey's skin. He can only

> wear 100% cotton. Another reason I like the Maya for him. I think I'm

> going to have to get another one - or maybe two! yikes! - for the new

> baby(ies)!

>

> -Sara.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

LOL...

I love it!

You rock, Sissi.

Penny :-D

Re: Teachers/Amy and disability

We just hook a regular leash to a belt loop and let 'em stare.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

Sissi Garvey wrote:

> We just hook a regular leash to a belt loop and let 'em stare.

>

> Sissi

I love you Sissi!!! :-)

~ Karin