Another's Pain Too/Needing to Vent

[Guest guest]

I am still in a great deal of pain and unable to leave the house.

Today I didnt even get out of my PJs or brush my teeth. I tried to

sleep as that helped the day go by and I didnt feel the pain as I

wasnt aware. I have started the methylprednisolone today, as I

couldnt stand anymore pain. I keep pushing myself along until it

starts to help, which is usually in 3 days or less. I have taken my

usual pain meds without any real change in the level of pain today. I

now have a headache from the Methylprednisolone though and I fear it

will turn into another Migraine.

My soon to be ex husband called me 6 times today to ask how I was and

if I needed anything. I wanted so much to say yes. I used all my will

power to resist, as this man is a disaster and he has only made me

feel worse once he " helps " . Emotionally he takes advantage when he

knows I am physically feeling really bad. That only makes me suffer

that much more.

He also called to let me know that our daughter. who is travelling in

the far east to all the places involved in the Vietnam War, is doing

ok and on her long 10 day tour. She wont write to me or speak to me

and has taken his side against me in the divorce, so I have to hear

everything from him if I want to know anything about her. She is on

her way from Hanoi to Laos. Having grown up with the Vietnam war

every nite for years as a kid I cant believe my daughter is a tourist

in these areas.

I really needed to vent and I hope that someone can respond. I feel

so alone and cant bear to feel so alone when I am in so much pain. I

wonder what will happen to me and if I should subscribe to one of

those services they advertise for elderly people. They have a button

to press and help is summoned right away if they need it.

I recently broke my arm when I was still living with my soon to be

ex. He and my daughter were out at the time. I knew it was broken as

I nearly passed out from the pain. I kept telling myself dont lose

consciousness, stay awake. I did and when I went to the orthopedist

he did an exray that didnt show the break, so I went on for another 3

weeks not knowing why I was in so much pain. Then I went back and the

MRI showed the break.

My daughter never believes me when I am in pain and accuses me of

being a hypochondriac. I still feel the emotional scars from her

reaction to my broken arm. I had gotten a letter from the doctor just

to explain it to her. She read the letter and still sure of herself

said she still didnt believe I had a broken arm. I was just faking

it. I told her I had an MRI and the Mri couldnt be faked. She still

refused to believe me.

a

[Guest guest]

Dear a,

 

I *really* feel for you sweety.  The only thing I know to do right now is to

give you a really big hug :-)

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((a)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

hang in there ok, we are here for you, to listen, to care and to respond in the

best way we

know how.

 

more hugs, Coleen 

>a wrote:

>I really needed to vent and I hope that someone can respond. I feel

so alone and cant bear to feel so alone when I am in so much pain. I

wonder what will happen to me and if I should subscribe to one of

those services they advertise for elderly people. They have a button

to press and help is summoned right away if they need it.

[Guest guest]

I'm so very sorry for you situation  with your daughter.  I can only hope that

later in life she'll will realize what a terrible disservice she has done to you

in your time of need.  Hopefully she will come around soon.  Best of luck

through the divorce.  I've been through one and hope to never go through

another.

Robyn

rdivorcediet wrote:

My daughter never believes me when I am in pain and accuses me of

being a hypochondriac. I still feel the emotional scars from her

reaction to my broken arm. I had gotten a letter from the doctor just

to explain it to her. She read the letter and still sure of herself

said she still didnt believe I had a broken arm. I was just faking

it. I told her I had an MRI and the Mri couldnt be faked. She still

refused to believe me.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the encouragement Robyn, I needed it. Today the steroids

I take every 3-4 months, when the pain just is too unbearable, along

with the vicodin, kicked in and I feel so much better. I am like a

different person entirely.

People who take the time to get to know me can usually spot a bad

day of pain on my face or in my voice, as I am not great with camouflaging it.

Even my husband, who I am divorcing, seems to get

it now, although he didn't when I needed him too. Why my daughter can't

understand has more to do with her than with me, and I have to accept that.

Today I got up, dressed, took a shower, which I hadn't in 3 days, and

drove into NYC for a drs appointment. Then afterwards i had another

meeting scheduled with my private investigator. He tells me my case

is the most convoluted and complicated mess he has ever seen and he

has a very good track record. I tried to point him the right

direction when I first met him but these investigators seem to know

how to do things in one way only.

So far he hasnt come up with anything I don't already know of. I think I made it

clear to him today exactly what I expected and that he needs to follow my

directions. I don't want to pay for things I didn't ask him to do which I

already know about.

My husband has been in business for over 25 years and from what I have been able

to find out, he has secretly been engaged in much more than our tax returns

indicate. Proving it is why I need help from a PI. Even so, this is my 3rd PI

and I have dug up more information than all of them put together, all by myself.

I just can't do it all.

I hope each day I will wake up and the pain will be manageable. I

don't even talk about it actually going away anymore as I used to. I

am so involved with my divorce that it is like having a job I suppose because it

certainly takes up enough of my time.

I have to meet with my attorneys later this week and then we are due back in

court soon too. The stress and strain on me is terrible and I know it has

triggered some bad pain reactions. After each meeting with my attorneys and each

court appearance, I am in bed afterwards for 1-3 days with terrible pain,

without fail. I cannot do anything more than I am already, and I just keep

telling myself that. Maybe I will get used to it? heaven forbid that is a

bizarre thought.

a

--Robyn wrote:

>

I'm so very sorry for you situation  with your daughter.  I can

only hope that later in life she'll will realize what a terrible

disservice she has done to you in your time of need.  Hopefully she

will come around soon.  Best of luck through the divorce.  I've been

through one and hope to never go through another.

[Guest guest]

Aw, girlfriend you are following me. My pain has eased off to a 7,

now just the shakes and balance issues. Do not let that man

help.

I went that route for a couple years with a meth addict, a

true sociopath, huge mistake to give a sociopath an opening When I

finally bit the bullet and said no, I made it a couple years all

alone and after a year my prodigal son found me and became my

greastest advocate and helper. All issues were mended and he is proud

of what he has done.

Here's hoping your daughter will become mature someday. Life always has

surprises

Cyrulla---

rdivorcediet wrote:

> I am still in a great deal of pain and unable to leave the house.

> Today I didn't even get out of my PJs or brush my teeth. I tried to

> sleep as that helped the day go by and I didnt feel the pain as I

> wasnt aware.

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean about the stress pain.  Whenever I have a really bad

situation to deal with (even if it's something fun) I usually find myself down

for 2-3 days.  After a week's vacation I needed 4 days to recover.  Isn't that

crazy! 

Hang in there with your daughter.  I used to really resent my mother.  She took

lots of medicines and had lots of medical problems when I was growing up.  I

remember thinking that all she ever did was work and sleep and take medicine. 

Now I'm repeating her pattern and understand everything she was going through. 

I've told her I don't know how she did it all those years.  I actually think she

handled her pain and problems better than I do.  It took me some time and

maturity to see things from her perspective but I now do and feel bad for the

years that I gave her the cold shoulder. 

My son went through some problems a few years ago also.  I thought we reached a

point that we could never get past.  However, with time and patience it has

improved.  He's getting married this November.  He's 28 now.  I love the girl he

chose thankfully! 

A month or so ago he told me how much he resented his dad and how he always new

I was there for him.  Just always continue to be there for her but don't take

her grief.  Make sure she knows that you are not a mat she can walk over. 

She'll respect you later for being there for her but also for respecting

yourself.

Robyn

--- a wrote:

>I have to meet with my attorneys later this week and then we are due back in

court soon too. The stress and strain on me is terrible and I know it has

triggered some bad pain reactions. After each meeting with my attorneys and each

court appearance, I am in bed afterwards for 1-3 days with terrible pain,

without fail. I cannot do anything more than I am already, and I just keep

telling myself that. Maybe I will get used to it? heaven forbid that is a

bizarre thought.