Guest guest Posted January 14, 2004 Report Share Posted January 14, 2004 Shauna, It sounds like you have more experience with the illness than I do. I have no magic solution, but I sometimes feel that my life is in limbo too. I quit work last year--I was a high school English teacher. I don't know when I will even be listed, but my health is not very good. I'm not sure I want to go back to teaching when I do get a transplant. One thing that I have had to do is realize that I have had real changes in my life and had to find new and different ways to live and express myself. I try to stay active on this group and I feel really good if I believe I've helped someone else. I have found that my friends' lives have kind of moved on. I seldom hear from any of them any more, though I don't blame them. Things at my old school have been in an uproar and I'm sure they have their hands and minds full. I think one of the things that I have done is accept it. My life has changed. I have a daughter who is a drug addict and all the things I have done, books I have read, and meetings I have attended have helped me in dealing with life's challenges. My daughter is still making incredibly poor choices and I often wish that I could just deal with being sick--being sick would be a breeze compared with coping with her problems. I guess it gives me perspective. I am just rambling on. Being a lover of literature, I have found many novels, poems, passages, etc that inspire me greatly. I do read scriptures regularly and find much there of comfort and inspiration. I love Milton's poem on going blind. are you familiar with it? He went blind before he ever wrote his great work Paradise Lost. He felt God had given him the gift of writing so he could write a great Christian epic equal in magnitude to the Illiad and Odyssey. He went through great depression when he went blind and this sonnet is his process of coming to grips with his handicap. When I consider how my light is spent,E're half my days, in this dark world and wide,And that one Talent which is death to hide,Lodg'd with me useless, though my Soul more bentTo serve therewith my Maker, and presentMy true account, least he returning chide,Doth God exact day-labour, light deny'd,I fondly ask; But patience to preventThat murmur, soon replies, God doth not needEither man's work or his own gifts, who bestBear his milde yoak, they serve him best, his StateIs Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speedAnd post o're Land and Ocean without rest:They also serve who only stand and waite. Milton ended up dictating Paradise Lost to his daughters who wrote it out. said of it, "It is a great work, but no one wished it longer." I'm sure his daughters felt that way too. I know I felt that way when I studied it in college literature class. But the point that strikes me is " who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best, . . .they also serve who only stand and wait." I try not to be a pain to everyone around me. I try to help those I can. I have pretty much accepted that I am very limited in what I can do. I am not a huge reader of self-help books, but find that there are great works that are more motivational to me. Viktor l's Man's Search for Meaning and C. S. ' The Great Divorce and The Problem of Pain. Have you been able to continue with your PhD program? I wish you all the best and all the patience you need. Take care. I hope to hear from you again soon. Cheryl Berg, Idaho 45Married 25 years, 4 children, 2 grchildrenPSC 01, UC 00, Fibromyalgia, hypothyroid,hiatal hernia, ulcer, gall baldder removed '93disability (retired English teacher) New Member Introduction Hello All, I have been listed for liver transplant at Duke for four years though it has only been since this past fall that my MELD score has been consistently above 20. For much of December, it was above 25 but the phone never rang... Though I have lived with chronic illness for well over half of my life and never once thought that I couldn't dream or plan because of it, lately I have found myself feeling paralyzed in this state of limbo and putting my plans and dreams on hold. When I am not obsessing about transplants, I am a Ph.D. candidate in economics at Duke University in Durham, NC. Best wishes to all for health and happiness,Shauna-- Shauna Saunderse.mail: ssaunder@...http://www.shareyourlife.org/flash%20Coalition%20PSA.swf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 --- " Denene " wrote: > > My name is Denene and I am 44 years old from Oklahoma. I have > Chronic pain and have a stimulator to help but with the Chronic pain > progressing it is doing very little if any good. I have fallen so many > times hard to remember Welcome, Deneene, although I'm sorry for the pain that brought you here. The list is really slow right now, with people caught up in the stress of the holidays, so don't feel bad that you may not get a lot of welcome messages or answers to questions right now. Things will pick up again here after the new year. Meanwhile, feel free to jump right in! About the falling - why does your doctor not have you using a wheelchair or at least a walker? This sounds really dangerous. Cheryl in AZ Moderator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 --- Denene wrote: > My name is Denene and I am 44 years old from Oklahoma. I have > Chronic pain and have a stimulator to help but with the Chronic pain > progressing it is doing very little if any good. I have fallen so > many times hard to remember in December already I have fallen 7 times at least. I have lower back pain but now has progressed up to the whole back pretty much and into the lower neck area. Good morning Denene, Welocome to chronic pain, I like many others wish we didn't need this group, but none the less,Here we are. I have multiple levels of Spinal stenosis and central disc herniations from a fall at work. I've also got several disc herniations in my neck along with Myelopathy of the cervical spine,it affects the front of my left thigh and pelvis. It gets very painful at times. But you know what pain is all about. Take care and welcome, /Joco50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Hello, My name is Ernie. I've been in constance pain scents 1988 due to back Pain discs S-5 exploded both sides. Nerve damage to both legs, left the worst. Left arm had to be cut and put back togeather. I have magraines weekly. And gastroprisis. S orry I cant spell very well. also herneated disc in my neck that needs surgery And thats just the half of it. Thanks for any help any one can offer. Ernie and Gail Carr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Sorry to hear what your going through. Cant imagine. You'll get a lot of support from eveyone here. How old are you and do you have family to help you through this difficult time? Hang in there. Ernie wrote: Hello, My name is Ernie. I've been in constance pain scents 1988 due to back Pain discs S-5 exploded both sides. Nerve damage to both legs, left the worst. Left arm had to be cut and put back togeather. I have magraines weekly. And gastroprisis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Hello Ernie! I'm glad that you found this group to talk with. There are a lot of good people here that will help the best they can. Were you in an accident that caused your injuries? Or is it a disease process of some kind? Welcome, Lori Ernie wrote: > > Hello, My name is Ernie. > > I've been in constance pain scents 1988 due to back Pain discs S-5 exploded both sides. Nerve damage to both legs, left the worst. > > Ernie and Gail Carr > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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