Guest guest Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 People who love us can seem very distant at times when we need them the most. when they don't know what to do to help, they feel helpless. so they may just seem that they don't care. giving them something to do when you hurt, no matter how minor will help. educate them as to what your needs are and what they can do. Even if it is only listen. there are many support groups for caretakers. the more concrete plan you can work out and have in place, the better your spouse will probably feel. I hope this helps some. huzs, Tami --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 Tami gave some excellent advice here: --- " A " wrote: > > People who love us can seem very distant at times when we need them the most. when they don't know what to do to help, they feel helpless. so they may just seem that they don't care. giving them something to do when you hurt, no matter how minor will help. educate them as to what your needs are and what they can do. I also want to add, however, to not forget how important positive reinforcement is - when a loved one does something to help you, no matter how small, make a big deal out of it! Remember to thank them and tell them just how much of a difference that it made for you and how it helped. People (especially men - sorry guys, but all the research shows it's true!) love to feel useful and appreciated, and the act of helping lets them feel more control over what is a scary and out-of-control situation. But they have to *know* that it's making a difference, and sometimes we can forget to tell them. Giving them thanks and spelling out what it means to you when they do pitch in will make them feel great, and they'll want to feel that way again and will be more willing to help in the future. We teach people how to treat us. If we insist that we can do everything on our own without help out of misplaced pride, we deprive that other person of having the chance to contribute and be a part of our lives. Give people the gift of letting them help. But then remember to thank them for doing so! Cheryl in AZ Moderator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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