Group Please read! I need help

December 6, 2009

Dear group,

I have posted 3 times over the the past 3 years. I believe my mother has BPD.

The one thing I am confused with is....

It is her that does not want me or my 2 sisters in her life. She has stopped

talking to the 3 of us and also the 4 grandchildren ages 23 to 9.

She has all of the classic Borderline signs like, constantly loving 1 of us and

hating 1 or the other 2 of us. She plays us against each other constantly.

Everything is ALL ABOUT her . She remembers events totally different from how

they actually happened. She is very self-destructive in regards to spending $

,usually on Botox , face lifts, etc. Then cries to us about how she needs her $.

She currently has her house up for sale since she stopped talking to us. She

has sent word to US that she is selling the contents of the house as well. We

asked if we could buy the family heirlooms we would like to pass down and were

told NO!.

My 9 year old worships her and keeps asking to call her, I gave in twice and

her call was not returned. I will not allow my daughter to be treated this way,

she is completely innocent and loves my mother to a fault.

Yesterday my daughter went to another part of my home and called my mother

without permission. I found out later that she had called and left a crying

message saying " how come you dont call me grama " , and then called back again a

few minutes later and my mother picked up and told her she loved her and " have

your father take you up to my house " .

The first call that was unanswered shows that my mother was not picking up calls

from my phone #.

Of course we will not allow my daughter to go there where my mother would simply

fill my 9 year olds head with a tirade against me.

Sorry for the venting........I guess my big question is ...Most of the posters

here seem to have trouble getting thier BPD person to leave them alone. We have

the opposite, we want to be in our mothers life ( we crave it!) but she can

simply just cut us out and our children with not even a second thought. Do any

of you know of another disorder that may fit her better?

Please any suggestions for this Daughter in Pain?

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