Re: so much has happened...

[Guest guest]

,

FIrst, let me say {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} to you... Second, let me say how glad I

am that you and Bob seem to be approaching this problem solidly and head on.

You both love each other and have been through alot together.... he is a luck

man to have you by his side. You willingness to help him get help and to

understand why he is " lying " about things like that will benefit you both

immensly. Good luck and yu KNOW we are all here for you, no matter what!

Take Care,

[Guest guest]

-

wow... I feel for you. My husband and I have recently separated and it has

been very difficult ... but I feel better about me ... If you need to talk

please feel free .. I am always here to listen. Thinking of you --

[Guest guest]

,

Sorry to hear things are a little rocky right now. I think all marriages

go through little tests at times, and it is admirable that you are trying

to work through this. My dh has his shortcomings too, believe me. One

that gets to me is that he often tries to keep things from me that he

thinks will upset me, so he can protect me from getting hurt. (Like

smoking cigarettes again behind by back) I find every once in a while I

have to remind him again that covering something up hurts worse than

finding out the truth in the first place. Cause we always find out the

truth eventually. Unfor, men just need reminders from time to time, hang

in there.

Tara

[Guest guest]

I was wondering were you have been. I'm sorry you are going through

so much right now. Its sounds like you have a great plan to try and

make things better. I hope things work out for you and Bob.

Pam

[Guest guest]

Oh , I am so sorry you have to go through this. My dh has

emotional problems too. Actually, it all flared up right around the

time I found out I was pg, but I don't think it was related. But,

when

we found out about ep, he really pulled together and took care of me.

I think it was also an incentive for him to push to the cause of his

problems. He is really making great progress. He has become so much

more open about his feelings, which makes it so much easier to work

things out. Still, on occasions I think, why do I have to put up with

this, life is difficult enough for me. Then I remember that I love my

husband and swore to stick with him through rough times, as I hope he

will stick with me.

I met a couple at a party not long ago. It turned out that they were

in an accident a few years back, in which the husband was brain

injured. On the surface he looks ok, but then you notice that he is

constantly looking through his day planner. It is impossible for him

to remember anything any more, or have memories of his life before

his

accident. He had to relearn how to feed and wash himself. His wife

stuck with him through it all. It must have been so difficult for her

to sacrifice her life to his care, knowing that he will never be the

person she fell in love with. It was very inspiring, I hope it

inspires you too.

a

[Guest guest]

Kim,

The funny thing is I am an ex-smoker. So I know what it smells like. Now

he calls me the bloodhound, but at least it's kept him on the straight and

narrow since his slip. Men can just be so oblivious!!!

Tara

[Guest guest]

Tara

LOL!! Guys are so funny. You just have to stand back and laugh at

them.

Pam

[Guest guest]

Tara,

My Dh smokes behind my back too! It is such a pain! Kim

[Guest guest]

Oh Val,

I'm sorry to hear about Bob, but I am glad that you are sticking it out

for awhile and going to give it your best shot. My dh (I think) drinks

too much beer, and used to have a credit card that he hid from me, then

I found out he had $5000.00 racked up on it, boy was I mad!!!!! I pay

the bills now too!!! I don't know why they think hiding it from us

is going to make things better...duh, we always find out.

Vicki

OneQueen@... wrote:

>

> Hello*!!!! I just want you all to know that Bob and I are not going to be

> ttc for quite some time now....let me explain..

> I found out that Bob has been lying to me even more aboput stupid

> things....he has a problem and he is seeking help for his problems....the

> lying started with bills not getting paid and has gone onto more silly

> things...in all of this I found out that he has been buying about $20 in

> lottery tickets a day and that adds up very quick....so Bob will be going to

> an emotions annonomous group and will find out tonight when gamblers annon

> meets...On Monday i was ready to leave...I wanted out so bad....but I went

> out to coffee with a friend and she was going on and on about much better off

> I would be and it hit me...he needs my help to get him through....along with

> his support meets him and I will be going to marriage counseling....and I

> will taking over all the finances...after Bob becomes comfy with himself we

> will start " dating " again and go from there....I don't know if our marriage

> is going to last, but at least I can say I will give it my all...

> in all of this it scares me that we could have had 2 babies involved in this

> mess.....so I have decided that it would not be good to activily be ttc right

> now....we need to work on us and sort through this..

> We are adults and need to start acting like adults.....we are married, but

> affraid to talk to each other.....sdo we have also set up family

> meetings....in doing so we have also banned 2 words from our house....Hate

> and stupid....and if either of us say these words then we pay 25 cents if

> direected outside the house...or $1 if directed in the house....we are saving

> up for a short vacatiuon trip (get it not too much money in the pot). So

> that is where I am......{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

>

>

> ~A~ (9/21/99)

> ~A~Savannah Lynn (5/6/01)

> mailto:OneQueen@...

>

[Guest guest]

,

Good for you sweetie. Sometimes it's so much easier to walk away then

stay and face the problem. I'm sending you huge hugs! As you know we

are all here if you need to talk.

Love & hugs,

Jo-Ann