Guest guest Posted May 5, 2000 Report Share Posted May 5, 2000 Hi Judith - You may have saved your life by avoiding that meeting - something to think about. Best wishes, > and Noel: thank you for your posts about AA's psychological > damage. In the years I've been away from AA, I've threatened myself > with returning to meetings. Even went so far as to go into the > clubhouse where my home meeting used to be. The guy at the front desk > was inviting, encouraging: " there's a meeting starting in a few > minutes. " > > But I always decided not to go through with it. After a while, I got > tired of flip-flopping in my beliefs about AA, and decided, for > better > or worse, to go with my gut on this one: for me, AA was more damaging > than drinking and drug use. I guess that's about the time I found > arf12s, and from there, this list. Participating in this mailing > list > has helped me to strengthen my belief, even though I'm still > ambivalent. Part of me always wants to do the mainstream, average > thing; for an American who has dealt with chemical dependency or > addiction issues, the mainstream thing is AA. > > In the past year as I've been reading and writing to this list, I've > begun to realize just how much freedom I have to be an individual in > this regard. Even when someone says, really loudly and using really > insulting language, that the problem is ME and not AA, I can know in > my heart and soul that they are wrong. I don't have to attend AA or > buy into their beliefs to be a good citizen. Sometimes, being a good > person means having the strength to stand up and say what I believe, > even--maybe especially--when what I believe is unpopular. > > It's very moving when someone is as open as and Noel have > been > this week, about the pain AA has caused in their lives. When I read > what someone else has written, I see myself more clearly. I feel > myself getting ready to take a step further away from the " conform or > die " mentality of AA. > > At this moment, I am in danger of showing that sappy gratitude so > beloved by AA. So I'll sign off now. > > Judith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2000 Report Share Posted May 5, 2000 when i 'fired " my sponsor and walked out of my 2nd to last AA meeting, i felt angry, hurt, betrayed ay what i had fully come to see where the lies i had been told in program. it had been becoming more evident over time, but on that night, there was no denying it. i wa also a little scared for a moment, my 1 year anniversary was coming up and i was alone! how would i celebrate? i had been shown no other model for sobriety other AA's i was uncertain how to proceed. what i knew in my gut as walked out of door though was stronger than that confusion, i knew that no one in that room had my bests interests at heart, and only would try to pollute my clarity. so i left. i celebrated my 1 year anniversary with my mom and dad in our back yard on a nice summer day. it couldn't have been any more sublime and meaningful. but thats not the end of this story.... above was my 2nd to last meeting. my last meeting was a chip meeting. i still wanted the freaking chip. so a friend introduced me to one of her friends who was a stepper. we talked on phone and made plans to go to her home group so i could pic up a chip. we had a long talk on phone about how i didn't want a sponsor, i didn't feel it was right for me. she assured me she knew exactly what i meant. i thought this was cool, maybe everyone in AA is a a automaton. when we arrived at meeting, we started walking around. the whole night she introduced me to every man she knew as " this is dave, he needs a sponsor! " i wanted to run out screaming. i have never wanted to go back once, except maybe to glue some AA deprogramng stuff on door. dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2000 Report Share Posted May 5, 2000 > Hi Judith - > > You may have saved your life by avoiding that meeting - something to > think about. Your post yesterday really got to me, and I mean that in a positive way. I'll never again tell someone that it's OK to go back to AA. I'd never do it myself. If someone is bound and determined to go back to meetings, that's their business; but feeling the way I do now, it would be unethical for me to present that as a viable option. Judith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2000 Report Share Posted May 5, 2000 Hi Judith, Wow - words are powerful aren't they? Oh, my tea's ready - more later. > > Hi Judith - > > > > You may have saved your life by avoiding that meeting - something > to > > think about. > > Your post yesterday really got to me, and I mean that in a positive > way. I'll never again tell someone that it's OK to go back to AA. I'd > never do it myself. If someone is bound and determined to go back to > meetings, that's their business; but feeling the way I do now, it > would be unethical for me to present that as a viable option. > > Judith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.