Guest guest Posted August 1, 2009 Report Share Posted August 1, 2009 I'm doing heavy mental work: research/writing so that I can burn off my anger but, I gotta tell ya... I'M P'D OFF!!! I'm mad because, for the first time in my 40+ years, I woke up KNOWING my Nada is a selfish, selfish human being. I actually FEEL, at that gut level, how incredibly waif/childlike/narcasistic she was/is. How much I missed out on. How my core personality of always having to rely on ME (and the pieces I put in place) has been developed (good/bad/otherwise) because THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR ME!!!! Sure, I've made it work for me over the years... but GEEZ LADY... I was a KID!!!! YOU were supposed to make sure I knew you would TAKE CARE OF THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS YOUR $%#$%^ & @#$%#$% JOB!!!! To this day, even as recently as a couple of days ago... it's MY problem!!! OMG.... If I wasn't the responsible, loving, mother... I'd start breaking crap and having a complete and total freakin' meltdown... but I won't... don't want to make MY problem my CHILD's problem... Thank God for a therapy appt on Wed.... Back to work... Lynnette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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