Guest guest Posted February 12, 2005 Report Share Posted February 12, 2005 Michele, Roy and I have certainly had our share of " bad " things happen to us in our 21 years of marriage. Growing up, I had never even been to a funeral. I had no coping skills to fall back on when died in 1986. But still, I think I am incredibly blessed. I have a marriage that has survived all the ups and downs and grown closer with each thing instead of separating us, and I have learned that good can come out of anything no matter how horrendous. And our daily life is filled with a family that gets along with each other and helps each other out and likes each other. I cannot imagine a life filled with daily conflicts. For me that would be so much worse than all the other things we have experienced. On the other hand, I have my moments! The experiences leading up to my dad's suicide and Tyler's arrest changed my body's physical responses to the world, and no matter what my mind believed, my body was constantly on guard and reactive. It was the first time I have really felt stressed. Finally, I fell apart the end of December. I could not handle one more thing. I went on meds that help with trauma, and the people I have helped for so many years, came to my aid and I am healing. It was a good thing too, because then the trauma with Kayla happened towards the end of January. It was one of the rare times I thought to myself, okay I have had a baby die at birth, my husband blown up, a child with ADD and learning disabilities requiring major fights with the school district and parenting that required a lot of work, a miscarriage, a child with severe disabilities, the trauma of my brother's motorcycle accident, my dad's sudden mental illness and suicide, and my son arrested for selling marijuana; I cannot handle anything more!!!!! Through all of it there has been the constant of Kayla, my angel. She is sweet, pure, brilliant and innocent, and radiates off energy to others instead of sucking them dry. Parenting her is pure pleasure. I love my other two, but there is work involved. With Kayla I do not love her more, I am just able to enjoy her more, because I do not have to work so hard fighting for her. During that hospitalization, it was not just that she was ill, but the investigations about what was wrong and what she went through. Talk about wanting to sue someone, what she went through because one doctor thought it was herpes, when the chance that she was molested was so minute, and then all of the other things that it truly might have been were not tested for. We are left with the possibility that it was a weird occurrence of a virus or that she has a major autoimmune disease, but at least with all the testing they know she does not have herpes. Truly, enough is enough. We have had lots of big events, but our day to day is actually quite blessed. As with anyone, I cannot imagine my life being any different. It is what it is and makes me who I am and that is what I have to work with. I do tend to be open about these things, not so people can think oh, Kim is so strong. I am as weak and vulnerable as anyone, but so people can see that it is possible to make it through these sudden changes of direction in our lives and that life can still be good. Not pain free, but good. Kim > > Kim- > You have lived an amazing life. And handled all of it gracely, taking > new knowledge and strength from each experience. Now- I know there may > have been moments that were less than graceful, but overall -- grace. > Many people would go through just one of those situations and come out > beaten and bitter. > > I met a friend in town here, and as we shared our life experiences, she > had no difficulties! I mean, none. Bizarre. Very " perfect " life -- > and a nice woman, but lacking that strength and understanding that comes > from standing up against adversity. > > I want to say I'm sorry that you've had so many difficult circumstances, > but really -- I just want to say how lucky I am to be able to share in > all that you have learned. > > Michele W > >> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 You know , When it comes to pain, emotional or physical, there is no comparison. No matter the cause, it still just hurts and then there are so many things that can cause us to feel more stressed, such as not knowing if there will be money to feed the family next week etc. so hugs to you too. Kim > > Kim, like Bonnie, you give me inspiration. all you have gone through and > are still going through....I hope Kayla is feeling much better and things > with Tyler have inproved. I know what you mean about kayla being your > angel. although we have had significant helath issues with all the kids at > some point, liam is my angel. yes, he is 4 and all that's involved with > being 4, but he keeps me going sometimes. tim has all his issues and keegan > is the most emotional child I've ever met. for such a tough guy, he can cry > at the drop of a hat for the silliest reasons....drives me insane. liam > keeps me grounded, he says the cutest things and does the cutest things, > yes, it's the age he is right now, but he has always had that affect. do I > love him more ? no, I love them all just as much, but in different ways. > > I think we all go through times when we just have to let it all out, and I > am so thankful for this group. I don't feel alone anymore, other people > know how I feel , have had similar experiences, or just have the wisdom to > say the right things. I have been going through alot lately too, not to > the degree you and others have, but it's not been fun either, and it's nice > to know you all are here to listen to me complain, give suggestions, or just > cyber hugs. I can feel them, really. i hope you can feel this one too, > they are coming your way. and to all the rest of this charge family too!!! > > mom to Timmy 9ChARGE, keegan almost 7, both who losst terribly at the > pine wood derby, but were ok with it, and liam 4 with a fever and > runny--stuffy nose. wife to pat who has been at work since 7 am and doesn't > know when he'll get home and may be working tommorrow. the money will be > nice, but they are driving me nuts today . it's almost bedtime > Re: got a lawyer-coping > > >> >> Michele, >> >> Roy and I have certainly had our share of " bad " things happen to us in our >> 21 years of marriage. Growing up, I had never even been to a funeral. >> I had no coping skills to fall back on when died in 1986. >> >> But still, I think I am incredibly blessed. I have a marriage that has >> survived all the ups and downs and grown closer with each thing instead of >> separating us, and I have learned that good can come out of anything no >> matter how horrendous. And our daily life is filled with a family that > gets >> along with each other and helps each other out and likes each other. I >> cannot imagine a life filled with daily conflicts. For me that would be > so >> much worse than all the other things we have experienced. >> >> On the other hand, I have my moments! The experiences leading up to my >> dad's suicide and Tyler's arrest changed my body's physical responses to > the >> world, and no matter what my mind believed, my body was constantly on > guard >> and reactive. It was the first time I have really felt stressed. > Finally, >> I fell apart the end of December. I could not handle one more thing. I > went >> on meds that help with trauma, and the people I have helped for so many >> years, came to my aid and I am healing. >> >> It was a good thing too, because then the trauma with Kayla happened > towards >> the end of January. It was one of the rare times I thought to myself, > okay >> I have had a baby die at birth, my husband blown up, a child with ADD and >> learning disabilities requiring major fights with the school district and >> parenting that required a lot of work, a miscarriage, a child with severe >> disabilities, the trauma of my brother's motorcycle accident, my dad's >> sudden mental illness and suicide, and my son arrested for selling >> marijuana; I cannot handle anything more!!!!! Through all of it there has >> been the constant of Kayla, my angel. She is sweet, pure, brilliant and >> innocent, and radiates off energy to others instead of sucking them dry. >> Parenting her is pure pleasure. I love my other two, but there is work >> involved. With Kayla I do not love her more, I am just able to enjoy her >> more, because I do not have to work so hard fighting for her. During that >> hospitalization, it was not just that she was ill, but the investigations >> about what was wrong and what she went through. Talk about wanting to sue >> someone, what she went through because one doctor thought it was herpes, >> when the chance that she was molested was so minute, and then all of the >> other things that it truly might have been were not tested for. We are > left >> with the possibility that it was a weird occurrence of a virus or that she >> has a major autoimmune disease, but at least with all the testing they > know >> she does not have herpes. Truly, enough is enough. >> >> We have had lots of big events, but our day to day is actually quite >> blessed. As with anyone, I cannot imagine my life being any different. > It >> is what it is and makes me who I am and that is what I have to work with. > I >> do tend to be open about these things, not so people can think oh, Kim is > so >> strong. I am as weak and vulnerable as anyone, but so people can see that > it >> is possible to make it through these sudden changes of direction in our >> lives and that life can still be good. Not pain free, but good. >> >> Kim >> >> >> >>> >>> Kim- >>> You have lived an amazing life. And handled all of it gracely, taking >>> new knowledge and strength from each experience. Now- I know there may >>> have been moments that were less than graceful, but overall -- grace. >>> Many people would go through just one of those situations and come out >>> beaten and bitter. >>> >>> I met a friend in town here, and as we shared our life experiences, she >>> had no difficulties! I mean, none. Bizarre. Very " perfect " life -- >>> and a nice woman, but lacking that strength and understanding that comes >>> from standing up against adversity. >>> >>> I want to say I'm sorry that you've had so many difficult circumstances, >>> but really -- I just want to say how lucky I am to be able to share in >>> all that you have learned. >>> >>> Michele W >>> >>>> >>> >>> >>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 Kim, like Bonnie, you give me inspiration. all you have gone through and are still going through....I hope Kayla is feeling much better and things with Tyler have inproved. I know what you mean about kayla being your angel. although we have had significant helath issues with all the kids at some point, liam is my angel. yes, he is 4 and all that's involved with being 4, but he keeps me going sometimes. tim has all his issues and keegan is the most emotional child I've ever met. for such a tough guy, he can cry at the drop of a hat for the silliest reasons....drives me insane. liam keeps me grounded, he says the cutest things and does the cutest things, yes, it's the age he is right now, but he has always had that affect. do I love him more ? no, I love them all just as much, but in different ways. I think we all go through times when we just have to let it all out, and I am so thankful for this group. I don't feel alone anymore, other people know how I feel , have had similar experiences, or just have the wisdom to say the right things. I have been going through alot lately too, not to the degree you and others have, but it's not been fun either, and it's nice to know you all are here to listen to me complain, give suggestions, or just cyber hugs. I can feel them, really. i hope you can feel this one too, they are coming your way. and to all the rest of this charge family too!!! mom to Timmy 9ChARGE, keegan almost 7, both who losst terribly at the pine wood derby, but were ok with it, and liam 4 with a fever and runny--stuffy nose. wife to pat who has been at work since 7 am and doesn't know when he'll get home and may be working tommorrow. the money will be nice, but they are driving me nuts today . it's almost bedtime Re: got a lawyer-coping > > Michele, > > Roy and I have certainly had our share of " bad " things happen to us in our > 21 years of marriage. Growing up, I had never even been to a funeral. > I had no coping skills to fall back on when died in 1986. > > But still, I think I am incredibly blessed. I have a marriage that has > survived all the ups and downs and grown closer with each thing instead of > separating us, and I have learned that good can come out of anything no > matter how horrendous. And our daily life is filled with a family that gets > along with each other and helps each other out and likes each other. I > cannot imagine a life filled with daily conflicts. For me that would be so > much worse than all the other things we have experienced. > > On the other hand, I have my moments! The experiences leading up to my > dad's suicide and Tyler's arrest changed my body's physical responses to the > world, and no matter what my mind believed, my body was constantly on guard > and reactive. It was the first time I have really felt stressed. Finally, > I fell apart the end of December. I could not handle one more thing. I went > on meds that help with trauma, and the people I have helped for so many > years, came to my aid and I am healing. > > It was a good thing too, because then the trauma with Kayla happened towards > the end of January. It was one of the rare times I thought to myself, okay > I have had a baby die at birth, my husband blown up, a child with ADD and > learning disabilities requiring major fights with the school district and > parenting that required a lot of work, a miscarriage, a child with severe > disabilities, the trauma of my brother's motorcycle accident, my dad's > sudden mental illness and suicide, and my son arrested for selling > marijuana; I cannot handle anything more!!!!! Through all of it there has > been the constant of Kayla, my angel. She is sweet, pure, brilliant and > innocent, and radiates off energy to others instead of sucking them dry. > Parenting her is pure pleasure. I love my other two, but there is work > involved. With Kayla I do not love her more, I am just able to enjoy her > more, because I do not have to work so hard fighting for her. During that > hospitalization, it was not just that she was ill, but the investigations > about what was wrong and what she went through. Talk about wanting to sue > someone, what she went through because one doctor thought it was herpes, > when the chance that she was molested was so minute, and then all of the > other things that it truly might have been were not tested for. We are left > with the possibility that it was a weird occurrence of a virus or that she > has a major autoimmune disease, but at least with all the testing they know > she does not have herpes. Truly, enough is enough. > > We have had lots of big events, but our day to day is actually quite > blessed. As with anyone, I cannot imagine my life being any different. It > is what it is and makes me who I am and that is what I have to work with. I > do tend to be open about these things, not so people can think oh, Kim is so > strong. I am as weak and vulnerable as anyone, but so people can see that it > is possible to make it through these sudden changes of direction in our > lives and that life can still be good. Not pain free, but good. > > Kim > > > > > > > Kim- > > You have lived an amazing life. And handled all of it gracely, taking > > new knowledge and strength from each experience. Now- I know there may > > have been moments that were less than graceful, but overall -- grace. > > Many people would go through just one of those situations and come out > > beaten and bitter. > > > > I met a friend in town here, and as we shared our life experiences, she > > had no difficulties! I mean, none. Bizarre. Very " perfect " life -- > > and a nice woman, but lacking that strength and understanding that comes > > from standing up against adversity. > > > > I want to say I'm sorry that you've had so many difficult circumstances, > > but really -- I just want to say how lucky I am to be able to share in > > all that you have learned. > > > > Michele W > > > >> > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 Kim- I totally understand. That's why it was hard to decide how to word my last post -- didn't want to put you on a pedestal, but I do admire you. I also tend to be more open than the average person for the same reason --by sharing our pains and human experiences, we all grow in strength and power. Even before I had Aubrie, I shared my few trials and tribulations in an effort to help others to feel a comradarie. If we all think we're the only ones, then we feel alone or a failure. When in fact, we are all human and face many different obstacles. If we all could accept that as part of life and help each other without judging that your trials are unacceptable and mine are not my fault -- or whatever -- then we'd all get through this life so much better. How tragic that anyone should suffer alone when there is a whole world out there full of people who have been through the same thing or any other problem and should be able to offer guidance, support, and encouragement. Enough soapbox. Michele W Kim Lauger wrote: > I > do tend to be open about these things, not so people can think oh, Kim > is so > strong. I am as weak and vulnerable as anyone, but so people can see > that it > is possible to make it through these sudden changes of direction in our > lives and that life can still be good. Not pain free, but good. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 kim michelle isnt it good to be open with people to tell what your really feeling my paedrition got me like this id just clam up and say yes im ok end up back in two days later shed say i know somethings up is that tummy better or not is that lie better or not and i just started to say well no its this this and just started talking to her and now you cant stop me at times. Ellen howe > > > I > > do tend to be open about these things, not so people can think oh, Kim > > is so > > strong. I am as weak and vulnerable as anyone, but so people can see > > that it > > is possible to make it through these sudden changes of direction in our > > lives and that life can still be good. Not pain free, but good. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 kim dont know how you cope with it all but i admire you and all your strenth just thought youd like to know dont know why but my dad got arrested yesterday and he has depression we all cope he got arrested for drrivign up the street where they work stupid huh pluss he yelled well dont want to say to muc h on that course mum will read wont she and dont think she wants me going on about it sorry bout taylor you have an amazing life sure mum has wanted to sure doctors over me some have told her that i didnt need a thing while other have said i did well life is to hard for us all we all need a break from it but we cant can we all my hugs to you love Ellen howe > > > > > > > > Kim- > > > You have lived an amazing life. And handled all of it gracely, taking > > > new knowledge and strength from each experience. Now- I know there may > > > have been moments that were less than graceful, but overall -- grace. > > > Many people would go through just one of those situations and come out > > > beaten and bitter. > > > > > > I met a friend in town here, and as we shared our life experiences, she > > > had no difficulties! I mean, none. Bizarre. Very " perfect " life -- > > > and a nice woman, but lacking that strength and understanding that comes > > > from standing up against adversity. > > > > > > I want to say I'm sorry that you've had so many difficult circumstances, > > > but really -- I just want to say how lucky I am to be able to share in > > > all that you have learned. > > > > > > Michele W > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 maria sometimes i think i give to many hugs to everyone in here more and more to you right now love ellen howe > >> > >>> > >>> Kim- > >>> You have lived an amazing life. And handled all of it gracely, taking > >>> new knowledge and strength from each experience. Now- I know there may > >>> have been moments that were less than graceful, but overall -- grace. > >>> Many people would go through just one of those situations and come out > >>> beaten and bitter. > >>> > >>> I met a friend in town here, and as we shared our life experiences, she > >>> had no difficulties! I mean, none. Bizarre. Very " perfect " life -- > >>> and a nice woman, but lacking that strength and understanding that comes > >>> from standing up against adversity. > >>> > >>> I want to say I'm sorry that you've had so many difficult circumstances, > >>> but really -- I just want to say how lucky I am to be able to share in > >>> all that you have learned. > >>> > >>> Michele W > >>> > >>>> > >>> > >>> > >>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 thanks for the hugs--as far as I'm concerned there are never enough--ok, sometimes Timmy just can't give enough and it's a little overbearing, but that's my boy! Re: got a lawyer-coping > > > maria sometimes i think i give to many hugs to everyone in here more > and more to you right now love ellen howe > > >> > > >>> > > >>> Kim- > > >>> You have lived an amazing life. And handled all of it gracely, > taking > > >>> new knowledge and strength from each experience. Now- I know > there may > > >>> have been moments that were less than graceful, but overall -- > grace. > > >>> Many people would go through just one of those situations and > come out > > >>> beaten and bitter. > > >>> > > >>> I met a friend in town here, and as we shared our life > experiences, she > > >>> had no difficulties! I mean, none. Bizarre. Very " perfect " > life -- > > >>> and a nice woman, but lacking that strength and understanding > that comes > > >>> from standing up against adversity. > > >>> > > >>> I want to say I'm sorry that you've had so many difficult > circumstances, > > >>> but really -- I just want to say how lucky I am to be able to > share in > > >>> all that you have learned. > > >>> > > >>> Michele W > > >>> > > >>>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 thanks! maria--pat still isn't home --I'm going up to check the kiddos and read, but the eyes are getting heavy. Re: got a lawyer-coping > > > > > >> > >> Michele, > >> > >> Roy and I have certainly had our share of " bad " things happen to us in our > >> 21 years of marriage. Growing up, I had never even been to a funeral. > >> I had no coping skills to fall back on when died in 1986. > >> > >> But still, I think I am incredibly blessed. I have a marriage that has > >> survived all the ups and downs and grown closer with each thing instead of > >> separating us, and I have learned that good can come out of anything no > >> matter how horrendous. And our daily life is filled with a family that > > gets > >> along with each other and helps each other out and likes each other. I > >> cannot imagine a life filled with daily conflicts. For me that would be > > so > >> much worse than all the other things we have experienced. > >> > >> On the other hand, I have my moments! The experiences leading up to my > >> dad's suicide and Tyler's arrest changed my body's physical responses to > > the > >> world, and no matter what my mind believed, my body was constantly on > > guard > >> and reactive. It was the first time I have really felt stressed. > > Finally, > >> I fell apart the end of December. I could not handle one more thing. I > > went > >> on meds that help with trauma, and the people I have helped for so many > >> years, came to my aid and I am healing. > >> > >> It was a good thing too, because then the trauma with Kayla happened > > towards > >> the end of January. It was one of the rare times I thought to myself, > > okay > >> I have had a baby die at birth, my husband blown up, a child with ADD and > >> learning disabilities requiring major fights with the school district and > >> parenting that required a lot of work, a miscarriage, a child with severe > >> disabilities, the trauma of my brother's motorcycle accident, my dad's > >> sudden mental illness and suicide, and my son arrested for selling > >> marijuana; I cannot handle anything more!!!!! Through all of it there has > >> been the constant of Kayla, my angel. She is sweet, pure, brilliant and > >> innocent, and radiates off energy to others instead of sucking them dry. > >> Parenting her is pure pleasure. I love my other two, but there is work > >> involved. With Kayla I do not love her more, I am just able to enjoy her > >> more, because I do not have to work so hard fighting for her. During that > >> hospitalization, it was not just that she was ill, but the investigations > >> about what was wrong and what she went through. Talk about wanting to sue > >> someone, what she went through because one doctor thought it was herpes, > >> when the chance that she was molested was so minute, and then all of the > >> other things that it truly might have been were not tested for. We are > > left > >> with the possibility that it was a weird occurrence of a virus or that she > >> has a major autoimmune disease, but at least with all the testing they > > know > >> she does not have herpes. Truly, enough is enough. > >> > >> We have had lots of big events, but our day to day is actually quite > >> blessed. As with anyone, I cannot imagine my life being any different. > > It > >> is what it is and makes me who I am and that is what I have to work with. > > I > >> do tend to be open about these things, not so people can think oh, Kim is > > so > >> strong. I am as weak and vulnerable as anyone, but so people can see that > > it > >> is possible to make it through these sudden changes of direction in our > >> lives and that life can still be good. Not pain free, but good. > >> > >> Kim > >> > >> > >> > >>> > >>> Kim- > >>> You have lived an amazing life. And handled all of it gracely, taking > >>> new knowledge and strength from each experience. Now- I know there may > >>> have been moments that were less than graceful, but overall -- grace. > >>> Many people would go through just one of those situations and come out > >>> beaten and bitter. > >>> > >>> I met a friend in town here, and as we shared our life experiences, she > >>> had no difficulties! I mean, none. Bizarre. Very " perfect " life -- > >>> and a nice woman, but lacking that strength and understanding that comes > >>> from standing up against adversity. > >>> > >>> I want to say I'm sorry that you've had so many difficult circumstances, > >>> but really -- I just want to say how lucky I am to be able to share in > >>> all that you have learned. > >>> > >>> Michele W > >>> > >>>> > >>> > >>> > >>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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