Noah Duh Moments

[Guest guest]

, Tim and others,

In some ways I think I am fortunate that

my other daughter is very articulate. She has expressed from the beginning that

she was jealous of all of the attention that Suzanne got. Before Suzanne was

diagnosed Tracey (other daughter) was the one going to Children’s

Hospital for yearly visits – she is diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease –

long story but we have been watching her thyroid since she was born. So, when

Suzanne got sick Tracey began counting how many trips to the hospital for tests

etc. until it surpassed Tracey’s numbers. Then the jealousy began. I was

very worried about this when Suzanne was recently hospitalized, but Tracey

really pulled through. When I would talk to her she’d say “I know

you are worried about me too, but stop worrying about me, Suzanne is the one

who needs you now”. I really didn’t expect that from her (she’s

14 too – the age of self!).

Noah may definitely need someone to talk

to. When I’ve been worried about my kids and their emotions (mental

health) I have had a lot of success starting with the school. When I was going

through my divorce my kids were in elementary school; they went to a very small

school that has its pros and cons. The Guidance Counselor has always been great

though. , you might want to talk to you school’s guidance counselor

and ask her to spend some time with Noah. This will hopefully do two things,

first it will give you another opinion as to how Noah is doing and secondly it

will let Noah know that he has someone at school that cares about him. The good

thing about a guidance counselor is that they stay with the building, not the

grade, so Noah will be able to turn to her/him as long as he is in the same

building. One more thing! It’s not unusual for the guidance counselor to

have an active role in setting up a 504 plan – I know that you’ve

thought about having one for Noah. Even if you don’t need or want one now,

you will be beginning the relationship with someone who can then advocate for

you and Noah in the school setting.

Of course, not all guidance counselors are

helpful or knowledgeable about the things we need them to be. Right now I am

very frustrated with Suzanne’s GC. She was to start school yesterday –

she’s only been to school 2 days this year. She is going to slowly start

her school schedule, beginning with two periods, and then adding 2 every week

until she’s at a full schedule. So … yesterday was to be her first

day. I talked to the GC on Friday and she said that things were still in the

works and she’d talk to me later that day. She never called again Friday,

so Friday afternoon I called and left a message saying that I will assume

everything is in place and that Suzanne will be at school Monday – unless

I hear from her Monday morning. I called a million times (ok, maybe not a million)

Monday morning, but the school’s phones were out. So, we went to school.

I don’t think the GC was even expecting us. I suspect that she did not

get the message I left on Friday (trying to give her the benefit of doubt). She

said the doctor had to fill out another form before Suzanne could begin. If she

would have told me that on Friday I would have gotten it to the doctor right

away. As it turns out, the form is about homebound instruction and not about Suzanne

returning to school. I questioned this and am waiting for a response. Also,

they do not have transportation worked out yet, but I volunteered to transport

her until that gets in place. I know that transportation will be challenging

for the school. I do hope though that my volunteering to do it until they get

it worked out isn’t going to make the less adamant about finding a

solution.

Morale of the story? I don’t know! I

suggest you try the GC at Noah’s school, but follow your gut. He/she may

be helpful, or may not be helpful.

Take care! And give that little guy a

great big hug from me!!!

LINDA

(Mom

of Suzanne, 16; IBD 1/04; PSC 3/04)

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Tim Wholey

Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 5:30 PM

To:

Subject: Re: Duh

moments? Update

It's funny how after all these years my older sister and

younger brother (turning 50 next month) admitted a bit of resentment on their

part when it came to Mom's extra

attention for poor Timmy. It's understandable. The balance of home life does

indeed change with a chronically ill family member.

The therapy really helped.

As for my health today, I have no complaints. I still own

that colon that caused me so much grief early on and my PSC is asymptomatic.

All the best to you and Noah.