Not sensitive to others anymore

[Guest guest]

Hi all! This may be a little off for this list, but I know some of

you may relate. A dear friend of mine was left by her husband for

another woman just days before Christmas. They dont have any

children, and she is European and has no family here- so I was one

of the few people she had to turn to. She stayed with us the first

two nights, and by the third day she was feeling especially low, and

began to talk about suicide. Let me end her part of the story with

the fact that she has since been to the dr, and was prescribed meds

to help, and other, more capable friends are supporting her needs

for comfort & supervision.

The reason I'm sharing this is that I got really angry with her

about being suicidal. She is beautiful, & intelligent (she has a

masters in international studies). Her life has been charmed, while

extremely difficult now I know and it just really got to me that she

was taking all that for granted. I reminded her that Sara was not

so lucky, and that she would have to work twice as hard to have half

as much going for her.. and thats without even dreaming about

romance yet. So, I told her I probably wasnt the best shoulder to

cry on b/c I obviously have my own hang ups right now- she has every

right to feel the way she does, and I didnt want to make it worse.

I guess I am just shocked at how much I have changed since Sara came

along- I would have handled it all much differently a year ago. I

was so judgemental about how she was behaving before I even realized

I was saying those angry things to her. We've talked things out and

she said she sort of needed to hear that- so I dont feel as bad

now. She felt bad for bringing such pain to our already burdened

home- all around it was an unfortunate situation.

I find myself in general less sympathetic to the daily problems

of my friends- that seems natural and ok I guess. My reaction to

this situation just seemed especially..... I dont know... just not

like me.

Mark