2nd attempt @ delivery: i'm ba-ack (OT)

[Guest guest]

this didn't go through the first time, i'll try again.

i'm ba-ack (OT)

i'm back home now, but it was at times a sad, emotionally exhausting, and hurt-filled process just getting here. the whole ugly story, in its entirety, would curl your nose hairs... right up there with the best of a cindy saga installment! let's just say that alongside some truly enjoyable times with my sister-in-law and brother, were some moments when my heart just ached at how much more frail my mother has become, and her dementia has grown steadily worse... it's kinda sad when your SIL has to explain to your own mother who you are. i think my mother was glad to see me, but by now she's likely forgotten i'd even visited her. to keep it in perspective, though, my primary reason for going up there in the 1st place was to help my SIL, and she and i did have some very pleasant times together, despite 3-digit heat. and my lungs cooperated, despite the dust, the dogs, and such. it's always a great day when the lungs cooperate... i get to enjoy increased energy, for starters.

during my 9-hour, near-nonstop drive homeward from the east bay area, i enjoyed a 6-hour book on tape, so that the nastiness of the occasional freeway gridlock on a friday of a 3-day holiday weekend would be minimized. so life (while parts of it being bittersweet with respect to my mom) was still good. however (isn't it frustrating, how life always tries to throw you these zingers we call "however"?), as i drove closer to disneyland (where i was to eventually meet up with jillian and her fiancé, aaron, for a meeting with their wedding planner on the morning of her birthday), i unfortunately suffered some real abuse from my 60 year old sister, who, after repeated calls to my cell phone, grew VERY angry with what she called my unwillingness to deliver some things to her ("so maureen, just tell me, are you going to deliver my G _ _ D _ _ _ stuff, or what?!")

well, shoot howdy, i had no choice but to assert myself with her, as these were items we'd both agreed a week prior would be coming down to san diego before i could take them back up to her in long beach... 'cause no way could i make a delivery 'til, at the earliest, 2 days later (and besides, she didn't neeeeed the stuff 'til next week, anyway). before i'd even agreed to do her this favor, i was careful ensure she understood last weekend was jam-packed with the priority of everything being all about jillian's birthday, aaron moving back to arizona in time to begin his new job, and our scheduled meeting with their wedding planner. then at the last minute (*surprise, surprise*), she pulls a royal switcheroo, trying valiantly to get me at the last minute to detour off interstate 5, onto and through interstates 605 and 91... to meet her in the parking lot of some godforsaken drug store parking lot in some town the streets of which i'd never before driven. in-between her calls, jim phoned in to check on my progress; when i bounced her request off him, he flatly refused, reminding me a) i was way further north than i thought, which meant i'd barely make it to our dinner reservation that night, and, it was a friday night in the middle of freaking L.A. rush hour traffic, for pete's sake!

well, WWIII broke out when my sister phoned, yet again. she refused to take my no for an answer ("um, jenny, what part of 'i can't' -- which is all stuff i told you a week ago, btw -- don't you understand?"), so i gearshifted over to plan b, the plan where i announced jim flatly refused to allow me to agree to her request (which wasn't an untruth). she, ever the feminist, became enraged and accused me of not being a resident of planet earth, where females are supposed to have spines and are therefore capable of thoughts independent of their controlling, caveman husbands... yeah, she actually said that. nice, huh? not long after this was when she, an atheist for as far back as i can remember, swore at me. i thought that reality more just a little ironic. i mean, is it an oxymoron for an atheist to take the Lord's name in vain? if so, then do you take such words seriously? or did she choose her words specifically because she knew that i, as a born-again Christian, would be hurt if she yelled them at me?

i morphed into this very strange calmness and i told her she'd crossed the line and gone too far, that she was in fact being abusive, i didn't deserve to hear such verbal spewage, and i was therefore ending our conversation. mind you, she's a very assertive sort who won't allow others the last word, but i did manage to say bye before hanging up. she immediately called back, and during the ringringringring, a voice inside my head yelled at me "maureen, don't you DARE pick up!" but answer her i did, and to my surprise she was instantly apologetic. if you're thinking "well, good!" then don't bother -- it was just the last couple of swirly revolutions before the pooh of the situation got flushed all the way down the toilet bowl. when she resurrected her request with new urgency and i reiterated i couldn't (as i had explained a week prior that i couldn't), she got unbelievably nastier. i'll spare you those details, but if i didn't spare you them, then you'd understand when i say i don't think things will ever be the same between us... truly i don't.

on a happier note, though, jillian had a wonderful 19th birthday on saturday -- her last birthday living at this home -- we saw aaron off in his rented u-haul to arizona, where he started his 1st day at his new job today, and today also marks jillian's 1st day of her last unit at culinary school. i guess it helps one's sanity to cling to all that is good while sloughing off all that is evil and hurtful...

thanks for listening, i do feel better.

maureen