Think my mom may suffer from BP

[Guest guest]

I just started reading " Stop Walking on Eggshells " and my mom exhibits alot of

the behaviors described in the book, especially those of a high functioning BP.

She stopped speaking with my grandparents over 20 years ago, she divorced my

father 3 years ago after 40 years of marriage, she does not speak with my

brother and his family, and she does not get along with my inlaws. My mother

constantly guilts, blames, criticizes, manipulates, and attempts to destroy

relationships. Also my mother is a therapist. I have concerns as I believe she

is attempting to destroy my marriage. Also we have a 14 month old daughter (our

first) and am greatly concerned about my mother's interactions with my daughter

and the possible effects it could have on my daughter and her developmemt. Any

help, thoughts, or ideas are appreciated.

[Guest guest]

Without knowing some details about the situation, it is hard to

give specific advice, but my general advice is to avoid allowing

her to spend any time alone with your daughter. I'd also

recommend setting some boundaries and consequences for any

interaction she has with you, your husband and/or your daughter.

You don't necessarily have to tell her what the boundaries are,

but you should know where they are and what you're going to do

when she crosses them. For example, you might want to end any

visit with her if she starts saying negative things to or about

your daughter, or about you and your husband in front of your

daughter. Hearing that kind of stuff can be seriously

detrimental to a child, even one who is too young to totally

understand all that is being said.

At 12:36 AM 07/05/2010 marinshopgirl wrote:

>I just started reading " Stop Walking on Eggshells " and my mom

>exhibits alot of the behaviors described in the book,

>especially those of a high functioning BP. She stopped speaking

>with my grandparents over 20 years ago, she divorced my father

>3 years ago after 40 years of marriage, she does not speak with

>my brother and his family, and she does not get along with my

>inlaws. My mother constantly guilts, blames, criticizes,

>manipulates, and attempts to destroy relationships. Also my

>mother is a therapist. I have concerns as I believe she is

>attempting to destroy my marriage. Also we have a 14 month old

>daughter (our first) and am greatly concerned about my mother's

>interactions with my daughter and the possible effects it could

>have on my daughter and her developmemt. Any help, thoughts, or

>ideas are appreciated.

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

She's a therapist? Uh oh. I bet she's positive she knows better than

anyone else.....

On Mon, Jul 5, 2010 at 12:36 AM, marinshopgirl wrote:

>

>

> I just started reading " Stop Walking on Eggshells " and my mom exhibits alot

> of the behaviors described in the book, especially those of a high

> functioning BP. She stopped speaking with my grandparents over 20 years ago,

> she divorced my father 3 years ago after 40 years of marriage, she does not

> speak with my brother and his family, and she does not get along with my

> inlaws. My mother constantly guilts, blames, criticizes, manipulates, and

> attempts to destroy relationships. Also my mother is a therapist. I have

> concerns as I believe she is attempting to destroy my marriage. Also we have

> a 14 month old daughter (our first) and am greatly concerned about my

> mother's interactions with my daughter and the possible effects it could

> have on my daughter and her developmemt. Any help, thoughts, or ideas are

> appreciated.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the advice. What is so ironic is that my mom can be such a kind,

giving, loving person one minute and the next she is blaming and critizing. She

won't accept any responsibility for her actions and blames everyone else and it

is never her fault always someone else.

There was an incident at my daughter's first birthday party about a month and a

half ago. My mother claims that she was holding my daughter and my sister in law

came up to her and grabbed my daughter from her arms. My mother was enraged by

this alleged interaction with my sister in law. When my husband and I confronted

his sister she stated that was not what had occurred, but that she had simply

offered to hold my daughter while, my mother could participate in the birthday

festivities. I confronted my mother on this and she swears that my sister in law

is lying. Since this occurred I have given myself some much needed space from my

mother.

A few weeks ago my mom left a belated mother's day gift on my front porch while

I was at work unexpectedly. I called her the next day to thank her for the gift.

No response or acknowledgement from her. About a week and a half ago I sent her

a text message simply asking how she was doing no response, till yesterday when

I received a nasty text message from her. Her message finally acknowledged my

call, however she ripped me to shreds, stating that I did not thank her for the

gift and that in her view point it is not okay to treat people like this. She

went onto say that a person will only allow so much before they walk away. She

also went on to say that she had no hope for my brother and that if he chooses

to contact her, she will answer. But till that time she is walking away. She

then goes onto say that I am getting very close to that same line and that a

little kindness goes a long way.

> >I just started reading " Stop Walking on Eggshells " and my mom

> >exhibits alot of the behaviors described in the book,

> >especially those of a high functioning BP. She stopped speaking

> >with my grandparents over 20 years ago, she divorced my father

> >3 years ago after 40 years of marriage, she does not speak with

> >my brother and his family, and she does not get along with my

> >inlaws. My mother constantly guilts, blames, criticizes,

> >manipulates, and attempts to destroy relationships. Also my

> >mother is a therapist. I have concerns as I believe she is

> >attempting to destroy my marriage. Also we have a 14 month old

> >daughter (our first) and am greatly concerned about my mother's

> >interactions with my daughter and the possible effects it could

> >have on my daughter and her developmemt. Any help, thoughts, or

> >ideas are appreciated.

>

> --

> Katrina

>