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In a message dated 3/31/00 11:41:04 AM Central Standard Time,

briffle@... writes:

<< I am tired and I

feel like God is punishing me. For what i do not know! >>

the rain falls on the just and the unjust - - bad things happen to everyone.

no respect to who we are - don't feel that you are being punished. i know

it is not easy, but we will all help each other. i will remember you

especially in my prayers for physical and mental strength. the mental

anguish is as taxing as the disease itself. things like this make you feel

totally helpless and we lack control.

every medication we use has side effects and even those vary from person to

person. that's what makes it all so complicated. hang in there!

debbie

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Oh Becky,

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. Remember that God is on

your side. We all are. I think more meds cause Panc than they realize.

Remember my acute attack last week from the Lasix. You doctor should take you

off of it immediately and put you on something else, (IMHO) (in my humble

opinion)

I can imagine that you feel like an avalanche is falling on top of you and

around you. You might want to consider having a consult at IU for cardiology

and hematology. As it turns out my blood counts are plummeting every time I

have blood work done. My Internist suggested that I have a Hematology

consult, before I have to have a blood transfusion.

You are so fortunate to have people near you who love you so much. I don't

have any family near me. I have had to work hard to allow others to get close

to me so that I could have a support team. Be open to letting others into

your heart.

I understand what you mean when you talk about taking it out on your husband.

This week when I had to have my PICC line changed, I was in rage with anger

and lashed out at every one around me. Just because. They did nothing. I was

just so mad about one thing after another going bad. AND none of my doctors

have anything to offer me.

Try to see the positives. It's hard. But endocarditis can be treated. And my

understanding is that drug induced Pancreatitis can be resolved as soon as

the medication is removed. Actually I just read that in a recently published

book today.

Becky, hear our prayers. It is said that when two or more come together, God

is there. There are 65 of us here.

Be brave,

Karyn

<A HREF= " http://hometown.aol.com/karynwms/myhomepage/business.html " >Pancreatit

is Support Network</A>

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Becky,

Just when you think your life couldn't get any worse.... Hang in there. You

are in all of our thoughts and prayers to get through this latest setback in

your life. Your are a strong person to deal with all of this and I know you

will continue to stay strong for your husband who may be having a tough time

coping with this. Remember, it is the ones who are closest to us that are

affected the most by our illness. It is frustrating to see your loved ones

in so much pain and distress and not be able to offer anything effective for

relief. I know, my wife tells me all the time :)

You will get through this okay. It may look bleak at the moment, but given

time you will find that this all happened for a reason. Don't blame God for

this misfortune. Turn to Him for help in dealing with whatever comes of

this. He will be there for you, trust me on this (boy, I sound like a

preacher) (smile)

Andre'

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Hi everyone,

I am so sorry I have been out of touch with everyone and not very

supportive. Right now I am going through a really bad time and I really

need all the support and prayers I can get.

I went to the Dr. again yesterday (my gp) and I had a hemoglobin

test done. It came back that I am still anemic, even after I have been

on iron twice a day for three months. If most of you remember I had a

transfusion done in January because it dropped so low. This seems to be

a pattern with me, the minute I stopp taking the iron my level sky

dives.

Well anyway, The Dr. started listening to my heart and found that I have

aquired a heart murmur. We talked about my fevers and my tiredness and

how I can not seem to manage a day at work let alone a week! My whole

being is tired and hurts.

Well after a little chat he told me he wants to do an echocardio

gram on my heart Monday(which is also my birthday) and if his hunch is

right he thinks I may have endocarditis.

An infection around my heart. If this is what I have, I will have to be

on IV antibiotics for eight weeks. No work No nothing. He says I will

have to be hospitilized for 2 of those eight weeks. This means if I

have this I will not be able to have my ERCP done. If the gram comes

back ok, then we are going to be seing an oncologist.

Quite frankly I am at the end of my ropes. I am stressed, I am

beyond trying to understand what is going on with me. I am tired and I

feel like God is punishing me. For what i do not know!

I have always prided myself in being a strong and capable

indiviual. Right now I am not feeling so strong! I am lashing out at

the one person i love the most, my wonderful husband! He is trying so

hard to help me through this, to be there for me. and in the last week

I have been a mess. I want to run to the highest point I can find and

just scream!

When i went to see Dr. Fogel at IU we talked about my Blood pressure

medication causing my Pancreatitis. Well I obtained a insert for the

Diovan HCT. from my pharmacist yesterday and guess what? Right there in

black and white it lists pancreatitis as a side effect. I have told my

GP and he doesn't think this is what is causing the pancreatits. (in

's words) ARGGGGGG !!!!!

Well that is my news!

Becky

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Good grief!!! When it rains it pours!

It really aggravates me when I hear that some medicine may cause some

other horrible thing. I know they can't test stuff forever, but when

they know that a side-effect like pancreatitis might becaused but a med,

they ought to write that on BIG letters on the bottle!

I hope everything turns out ok Monday! Take care of yourself!

& Becky wrote:

>

> Hi everyone,

> I am so sorry I have been out of touch with everyone and not very

> supportive. Right now I am going through a really bad time and I

> really

> need all the support and prayers I can get.

> I went to the Dr. again yesterday (my gp) and I had a hemoglobin

> test done. It came back that I am still anemic, even after I have

> been

> on iron twice a day for three months. If most of you remember I had a

> transfusion done in January because it dropped so low. This seems to

> be

> a pattern with me, the minute I stopp taking the iron my level sky

> dives.

> Well anyway, The Dr. started listening to my heart and found that I

> have

> aquired a heart murmur. We talked about my fevers and my tiredness

> and

> how I can not seem to manage a day at work let alone a week! My whole

> being is tired and hurts.

> Well after a little chat he told me he wants to do an echocardio

> gram on my heart Monday(which is also my birthday) and if his hunch is

> right he thinks I may have endocarditis.

> An infection around my heart. If this is what I have, I will have to

> be

> on IV antibiotics for eight weeks. No work No nothing. He says I

> will

> have to be hospitilized for 2 of those eight weeks. This means if I

> have this I will not be able to have my ERCP done. If the gram comes

> back ok, then we are going to be seing an oncologist.

> Quite frankly I am at the end of my ropes. I am stressed, I am

> beyond trying to understand what is going on with me. I am tired and

> I

> feel like God is punishing me. For what i do not know!

> I have always prided myself in being a strong and capable

> indiviual. Right now I am not feeling so strong! I am lashing out at

> the one person i love the most, my wonderful husband! He is trying so

> hard to help me through this, to be there for me. and in the last

> week

> I have been a mess. I want to run to the highest point I can find and

> just scream!

> When i went to see Dr. Fogel at IU we talked about my Blood

> pressure

> medication causing my Pancreatitis. Well I obtained a insert for the

> Diovan HCT. from my pharmacist yesterday and guess what? Right there

> in

> black and white it lists pancreatitis as a side effect. I have told

> my

> GP and he doesn't think this is what is causing the pancreatits. (in

> 's words) ARGGGGGG !!!!!

>

> Well that is my news!

>

> Becky

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

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In a message dated 4/1/2000 1:42:16 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

briffle@... writes:

<< Your words to me were just what I needed!!! Thank you!

>>

Becky,

We all need to hear these things from time to time.

I hope you have a Happy Birthday in Chicago. Go Cubbies!

Andre'

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In a message dated 4/1/2000 1:55:18 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

briffle@... writes:

<< It

is all so frustrating to me and I am a really level headed and nice

person, however in the last week I would say I am neither. Pretty sad

huh? >>

Becky,

No, just human. Believe me when I say, I've had my share of bad days and

have had to apologize for my actions. Frustration can lead us all to do some

pretty hurtful things sometimes. Hang in there. The people who mean the

most will understand your temperament and be as helpful as possible. The

rest of your " so-called " friends, family and coworkers can learn to deal with

it or move on. Either way, no loss to you.

Andre'

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  • 5 months later...

I convinced myself that the pain I've been having the past 8

months is sciatic. So I goto my orthopedic doctor yesterday

and the xray shows bone on bone. So now I'm a candidate for

hip surgery. No wonder I skipped my yearly xrays the past 3 years.

I knew I was getting close and wanted to go as long as possible.

I asked my doctor about resurfacing and he said it was tried

years ago and results were poor. I showed him printouts from

's website and said that people have said that but the

new technique uses metal on metal and has not had the same

complications as the previous technique. He said that in the

UK people don't sue as much as they do here, so experimental

treatments are more likely. And that here relatively few

resurfacing operations have been done and only recently, so there

is no longterm data on this technique.

Then he said that he could tell I was interested in the

resurfacing, and it's my hip so I should select the surgery

I want. (Maybe he's thinking I'd sue later if I was not

happy with a THR.) He said he would write a letter of support

to the insurance company supporting my choice to go elsewhere for

surgery. Also, that he would check to find out if anyone is in

the clinical trials in western NY or Toronto, CA. So he is being

very supportive about it. He then lectured me *not* to be like

so many other young people who get the surgery and feel better

so then go out and pound the heck out of their joints, because

he wants me to have good quality of life my entire lifespan etc...

I don't think he really needs to worry about me as I've never had

a really active lifestyle anyway, due to my hip problems. I do

ride an exercise bike 3-4 X per week to keep my weight down and

cardio vascular stuff tuned up, but that's about it.

He also gave me a prescription for tylenol with codeine so now I

can SLEEP! I had my first decent night's sleep in months last night.

Only woke up a few times.

Now that I know I need the surgery I want it done asap.

My hip is so bad now that I have problems even being on my feet the

time it takes to do the dishes. But I think it's going to be next

May or June before I really get it done. Probably will take that

long to arrange things. Also, I don't want to be recovering during

the winter. I want a nice summer recovery. That also is the time

when my parents like to visit from Florida (to escape the heat) and

I will need them to take care of my son (age 7) and drive him to

either school or summer camp. Hubby is being great about this and

will go with me whereever I have my surgery.

You'll be hearing a lot from me, as I check things out. First question:

Seems to me the main advantage of the resurfacing is that it preserves

bone so there is more left to screw things into during subsequent

surgeries. I'm only 43 so this is a big plus. But does it really

save bone in the hip socket area too or just at the end of the femur?

Thanks,

- Pearlz -

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