Guest guest Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 Don't slap me for this.... but.... Make a spot of your own... whatever you need around you to calm you and to center you.... and when they piss you off... leave them in their mess and go to your place. It is NOT unreasonable to expect someone to pick up after themselves... if they choose not to.. let them wallow in it for a while and maybe they'll realize what they messed up.... that is the live in maid keeping it neat for them. Once you get to the point where you can calm yourself.... then set up a box in each room. When you can't walk, can't sit, have to keep picking the same stuff over and over again cuz they won't take care of it, it goes in the box. Anybody that doesn't take their stuff out of the box by garbage pickup day, well, it goes out with the weekly garbage. If you find the same item taken from that box repeatedly during that week and it turns out that they think it's being put away for them in that box.... well, third time that happens and the item doesn't wait for garbage day... take it out to the garbage and plop something nice and nasty on top of it... coffee grounds, left over food from the last meal... whatever.... If they don't like it... there is a simple solution.. put your things away and it won't end up in the trash. Keep this up and in time they will either learn to put things away, or in an organized fashion to allow the table to be used for meals and the floor to be walked on, etc, or they'll have so much of their stuff hauled away their won't be enough left in the house to make a mess anymore. Just my thoughts, my opinion..... In the meantime.. you can vent here.... I live in my father's home and the house rules here are 'if he puts it there, that is where it belongs'. We have this huge beautiful counter top in the kitchen. So full of junk that I have to work on top of the dishwasher. His coffee cups are left out (two so that he doesn't have to make as many trips to the pot), his snacks WHATEVER. But let me leave my food containers next to the sink instead of putting them away when they are dry... and well.... I'm not the neatest person in the world. I have junk all over the desks in here right now, I'm working on a couple of projects... but when they are done, the desks are cleaned off... I have this thing about surfaces being cleaned off... don't know why.. but no junk on tables or counters or desks... unless it's meant to be there... like salt and pepper shakers or my pill box... you know what I mean..... Sigh... going to my quiet place to calm down! hehehehehe Topper () On Sat, 14 May 2005 21:04:06 -0000 "mike27591" writes: I just am snapping all the time. I get so upset I start to scream and sometimes make myself cry because I get so mad over something. The big thing that makes me mad is that I do not have the energy to do everything in my house and all my daughtets do and husband is make a mess. I can not walk around some parts of my house because my girls have toys and other things all over the floors. My husband has a habit of putting everything on the table or all over the couch and it makes me go crazy and I start to scream and I can not control my anger. I feel that I can not control my fits of anger and can not stop myself from yelling and screaming to the point of making myself see double and get dizzy. I would love to know what I can do to control my anger.Thanks for all the help and adviceTheresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 Sounds like Grave's Rage. Part Grave's antibodies, part oversupply of thyroid hormone, part fatigue, part confusion over what it is that makes you feel so bad when you want to feel so good and part why doesn't everyone understand and fix it for me brain fog. Your suggestion is interesting, . Years before I knew where my rage was coming from, I did the container thing. Never threw anything away until months had past (too tired and unable to think) but the containers did box up all the junk that was accumulating. I guess it's a subconscious way of trying to organize one's way through brain fog. > Don't slap me for this.... but.... > > Make a spot of your own... whatever you need around you to calm you and > to center you.... and when they piss you off... leave them in their mess > and go to your place. > > It is NOT unreasonable to expect someone to pick up after themselves... > if they choose not to.. let them wallow in it for a while and maybe > they'll realize what they messed up.... that is the live in maid keeping > it neat for them. > > Once you get to the point where you can calm yourself.... then set up a > box in each room. When you can't walk, can't sit, have to keep picking > the same stuff over and over again cuz they won't take care of it, it > goes in the box. Anybody that doesn't take their stuff out of the box by > garbage pickup day, well, it goes out with the weekly garbage. > > If you find the same item taken from that box repeatedly during that week > and it turns out that they think it's being put away for them in that > box.... well, third time that happens and the item doesn't wait for > garbage day... take it out to the garbage and plop something nice and > nasty on top of it... coffee grounds, left over food from the last > meal... whatever.... > > If they don't like it... there is a simple solution.. put your things > away and it won't end up in the trash. > > Keep this up and in time they will either learn to put things away, or in > an organized fashion to allow the table to be used for meals and the > floor to be walked on, etc, or they'll have so much of their stuff hauled > away their won't be enough left in the house to make a mess anymore. > > Just my thoughts, my opinion..... > > In the meantime.. you can vent here.... I live in my father's home and > the house rules here are 'if he puts it there, that is where it belongs'. > We have this huge beautiful counter top in the kitchen. So full of junk > that I have to work on top of the dishwasher. His coffee cups are left > out (two so that he doesn't have to make as many trips to the pot), his > snacks WHATEVER. But let me leave my food containers next to the sink > instead of putting them away when they are dry... and well.... > > I'm not the neatest person in the world. I have junk all over the desks > in here right now, I'm working on a couple of projects... but when they > are done, the desks are cleaned off... I have this thing about surfaces > being cleaned off... don't know why.. but no junk on tables or counters > or desks... unless it's meant to be there... like salt and pepper shakers > or my pill box... you know what I mean..... > > Sigh... going to my quiet place to calm down! hehehehehe > > Topper () > > On Sat, 14 May 2005 21:04:06 -0000 " mike27591 " <wynn8113@b...> > writes: > I just am snapping all the time. I get so upset I start to scream and > sometimes make myself cry because I get so mad over something. The big > thing that makes me mad is that I do not have the energy to do > everything in my house and all my daughtets do and husband is make a > mess. I can not walk around some parts of my house because my girls > have toys and other things all over the floors. My husband has a habit > of putting everything on the table or all over the couch and it makes > me go crazy and I start to scream and I can not control my anger. I > feel that I can not control my fits of anger and can not stop myself > from yelling and screaming to the point of making myself see double and > get dizzy. I would love to know what I can do to control my anger. > > Thanks for all the help and advice > Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 I've done odd things through the years... dividing rooms into sections and concentrating on a section.. cheering for one section being done then tackling the next.... to do whole rooms at a time.. I just couldn't do it.... Yesterday's vacuuming... I find that I still have to do that in sections.. I can't do the whole house in one fell swoop... but there is more to that than just my current endurance level... The house is kept way to warm for me and I over heat.... to the point of illness... the vacuum is the most horrid canister style in all creation. There are three of us in this household and it cripples all of us.... I usually end up with it cuz I'm the one that is here alone most of the time and I break it into sections and make a several hours project out of it... I have it portioned into nine zones... weird... time consuming.. but the job is completed without me spending a week in zombie land. Now... I save trips as much as possible by combining them.. Time for a mini meal... go potty on the way to the kitchen, wash hands and start filling my water container, pop the meal into the microwave, by the time the water is full, the food is hot and I'm headed back here. Same principle with everything I do, from putting away dishes, to trips to the basement... I even go so far as packing my groceries so that each back goes to a particular area.... so I can just drop the bags where they are to be unloaded. Saves a lot of time, with no sorting an trips back and forth across the kitchen. Promise you won't fall off your chair laughing? I even wash dishes in groups according to how they get put away... so that I can scoop all the plates of the same size off the drainer and slide them all in one group into the cupboard... same with silver, pots and pans, and baking things. Most of my dishwashing is done while I cook. Things are a lot easier to wash when they are fresh. So I start the sink of dishwater before I even put the get the first ingredient started. As I finish with a tool in the sink it goes. When I have a minute or two to wait for something to come to a boil or mix, or what have you... I go to the sink and start washing.. by the time I'm done cooking most everything is washed and much is already dry and put away. On days when I had trouble standing for periods of time, there was a stool I put in front of the sink and I'd go sit on the chair to rest and wash dishes in between..... I do not have OCD, I'm just really really lazy, and spent too many years in too much pain to not have figured out easier ways of doing things. I'd rather scoop up a half dozen plates and slide them into the cupboard in one movement than have to do that same movement and walk those same three steps 6 times. See, there was a time that just the half step that you take between left and right sinks was too much for me to do..... that's sad... but that's what it was like for me.. Just goofy tricks and habits that I've gotten into over the years to survive. One more and I'll stop... Laundry. For a long time, if I had to collect and sort laundry I wouldnt' have enough energy left to wash it, part of that was thinking about what went with what - brain fog sucks! So I put it in boxes. When it's time to do laundry I grab a box and go. Each box contains one load of like stuff. I bring the finished laundry up and sit on the edge of the bed to fold and put on hangers. I get the job done in good time without wearing myself out. Topper () www.thyrophoenix.com On Sat, 14 May 2005 22:16:40 -0000 "chuldah" writes: Sounds like Grave's Rage. Part Grave's antibodies, part oversupply ofthyroid hormone, part fatigue, part confusion over what it is thatmakes you feel so bad when you want to feel so good and part whydoesn't everyone understand and fix it for me brain fog. Your suggestion is interesting, . Years before I knew where myrage was coming from, I did the container thing. Never threw anythingaway until months had past (too tired and unable to think) but thecontainers did box up all the junk that was accumulating. I guess it'sa subconscious way of trying to organize one's way through brain fog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 Thank you anf God bless you for your advice. You just put a smile on my face. I wish I could have you come to my house and tell my girls and hubby about the box rule and see how they would take it.I think if I told them they would not beleive I am going to throw their stuff away. But I am going to try it and pray that it works. God bless you for being such a blessing to me and putting a smile on my fact tonight. Thanks Theresa > Don't slap me for this.... but.... > > Make a spot of your own... whatever you need around you to calm you and > to center you.... and when they piss you off... leave them in their mess > and go to your place. > > It is NOT unreasonable to expect someone to pick up after themselves... > if they choose not to.. let them wallow in it for a while and maybe > they'll realize what they messed up.... that is the live in maid keeping > it neat for them. > > Once you get to the point where you can calm yourself.... then set up a > box in each room. When you can't walk, can't sit, have to keep picking > the same stuff over and over again cuz they won't take care of it, it > goes in the box. Anybody that doesn't take their stuff out of the box by > garbage pickup day, well, it goes out with the weekly garbage. > > If you find the same item taken from that box repeatedly during that week > and it turns out that they think it's being put away for them in that > box.... well, third time that happens and the item doesn't wait for > garbage day... take it out to the garbage and plop something nice and > nasty on top of it... coffee grounds, left over food from the last > meal... whatever.... > > If they don't like it... there is a simple solution.. put your things > away and it won't end up in the trash. > > Keep this up and in time they will either learn to put things away, or in > an organized fashion to allow the table to be used for meals and the > floor to be walked on, etc, or they'll have so much of their stuff hauled > away their won't be enough left in the house to make a mess anymore. > > Just my thoughts, my opinion..... > > In the meantime.. you can vent here.... I live in my father's home and > the house rules here are 'if he puts it there, that is where it belongs'. > We have this huge beautiful counter top in the kitchen. So full of junk > that I have to work on top of the dishwasher. His coffee cups are left > out (two so that he doesn't have to make as many trips to the pot), his > snacks WHATEVER. But let me leave my food containers next to the sink > instead of putting them away when they are dry... and well.... > > I'm not the neatest person in the world. I have junk all over the desks > in here right now, I'm working on a couple of projects... but when they > are done, the desks are cleaned off... I have this thing about surfaces > being cleaned off... don't know why.. but no junk on tables or counters > or desks... unless it's meant to be there... like salt and pepper shakers > or my pill box... you know what I mean..... > > Sigh... going to my quiet place to calm down! hehehehehe > > Topper () > > On Sat, 14 May 2005 21:04:06 -0000 " mike27591 " <wynn8113@b...> > writes: > I just am snapping all the time. I get so upset I start to scream and > sometimes make myself cry because I get so mad over something. The big > thing that makes me mad is that I do not have the energy to do > everything in my house and all my daughtets do and husband is make a > mess. I can not walk around some parts of my house because my girls > have toys and other things all over the floors. My husband has a habit > of putting everything on the table or all over the couch and it makes > me go crazy and I start to scream and I can not control my anger. I > feel that I can not control my fits of anger and can not stop myself > from yelling and screaming to the point of making myself see double and > get dizzy. I would love to know what I can do to control my anger. > > Thanks for all the help and advice > Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 I have Hashi's not Graves. > > Don't slap me for this.... but.... > > > > Make a spot of your own... whatever you need around you to calm you > and > > to center you.... and when they piss you off... leave them in their > mess > > and go to your place. > > > > It is NOT unreasonable to expect someone to pick up after > themselves... > > if they choose not to.. let them wallow in it for a while and maybe > > they'll realize what they messed up.... that is the live in maid > keeping > > it neat for them. > > > > Once you get to the point where you can calm yourself.... then set > up a > > box in each room. When you can't walk, can't sit, have to keep > picking > > the same stuff over and over again cuz they won't take care of it, > it > > goes in the box. Anybody that doesn't take their stuff out of the > box by > > garbage pickup day, well, it goes out with the weekly garbage. > > > > If you find the same item taken from that box repeatedly during that > week > > and it turns out that they think it's being put away for them in > that > > box.... well, third time that happens and the item doesn't wait for > > garbage day... take it out to the garbage and plop something nice > and > > nasty on top of it... coffee grounds, left over food from the last > > meal... whatever.... > > > > If they don't like it... there is a simple solution.. put your > things > > away and it won't end up in the trash. > > > > Keep this up and in time they will either learn to put things away, > or in > > an organized fashion to allow the table to be used for meals and the > > floor to be walked on, etc, or they'll have so much of their stuff > hauled > > away their won't be enough left in the house to make a mess anymore. > > > > Just my thoughts, my opinion..... > > > > In the meantime.. you can vent here.... I live in my father's home > and > > the house rules here are 'if he puts it there, that is where it > belongs'. > > We have this huge beautiful counter top in the kitchen. So full of > junk > > that I have to work on top of the dishwasher. His coffee cups are > left > > out (two so that he doesn't have to make as many trips to the pot), > his > > snacks WHATEVER. But let me leave my food containers next to the > sink > > instead of putting them away when they are dry... and well.... > > > > I'm not the neatest person in the world. I have junk all over the > desks > > in here right now, I'm working on a couple of projects... but when > they > > are done, the desks are cleaned off... I have this thing about > surfaces > > being cleaned off... don't know why.. but no junk on tables or > counters > > or desks... unless it's meant to be there... like salt and pepper > shakers > > or my pill box... you know what I mean..... > > > > Sigh... going to my quiet place to calm down! hehehehehe > > > > Topper () > > > > On Sat, 14 May 2005 21:04:06 -0000 " mike27591 " <wynn8113@b...> > > writes: > > I just am snapping all the time. I get so upset I start to scream > and > > sometimes make myself cry because I get so mad over something. The > big > > thing that makes me mad is that I do not have the energy to do > > everything in my house and all my daughtets do and husband is make > a > > mess. I can not walk around some parts of my house because my > girls > > have toys and other things all over the floors. My husband has a > habit > > of putting everything on the table or all over the couch and it > makes > > me go crazy and I start to scream and I can not control my anger. > I > > feel that I can not control my fits of anger and can not stop > myself > > from yelling and screaming to the point of making myself see double > and > > get dizzy. I would love to know what I can do to control my anger. > > > > Thanks for all the help and advice > > Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2005 Report Share Posted May 14, 2005 Theresa... I'm 5'10 and hypo huge... I've stood down a truck load of drunken guys that thought they might have a bit of fun with me and my gal friend when we came back from fishin. I knocked five grown men on their butts when they decided that I might be a little bit of fun in the basement of the school that I was delivering supplies to (I have to share this story, the school was closed for the summer and all the doors were chained/locked but one. I had wandered around the building trying to find some one to unlock the deliver door so I could unload the gravel sacks. I found them in a break room. Explained who I was and the all came with me to unlock the door. I got to the back of the truck and started to climb up into the back. The guy closest to me gave me a 'very friendly' push on my rear and offered to 'come up and give me a hand'. Well.. that didn't feel quite right to me... so I grabbed a 50 pound sack of gravel and swung it around and let it fly... hit him square in the middle of his chest and knocked him on his hinny.... I did the other four guys the same way... whap whap whap and left the last bag on the ground. Climbed into the cab and drove away, didn't bother getting a receipt for the delivery. Considering that not one of those guys called my boss or the cops, I think I guessed the situation pretty good). I stood my ground when two guys on a freight elevator were asking too many questions and staring a bit too close at the money bags that I was picking up... and I stood down my cousins son the day he decided he got big enough to hit his mom....... I was caregiver to a dear family friend while she was undergoing radiation therapy for brain cancer (most likely caused by nutri-sweet, BTW). Her three sons and their wives came over for Thanksgiving dinner. While everyone was eating, the eldest son took me aside and said that they'd decided to put her in a home.... I got nose to nose with him, this was AFTER my RAI, too.... and looked him square in the eye and told him over my dead body was he locking her away, she's staying here with us, just as she asked before the surgery and she wasn't able to talk or communicate anymore.... I'll stand before your family and explain to them the facts of life and how they need to have a bit more respect for my friend!!!! You didn't choose to have a crappy thyroid and regardless of what you do or do not accomplish, I'd lay my life down and say that you're working harder to do what you do than any of them do on ANY given day! Considering you're there and I'm here.... I could make up a letter for you to hand to each one of them..... *wink* Topper () *chuckling at the memory of how that whap sounded and those guys grunting on their way down to the ground* On Sun, 15 May 2005 01:40:30 -0000 "mike27591" writes: Thank you anf God bless you for your advice. You just put a smile on my face. I wish I could have you come to my house and tell my girls and hubby about the box rule and see how they would take it.I think if I told them they would not beleive I am going to throw their stuff away. But I am going to try it and pray that it works. God bless you for being such a blessing to me and putting a smile on my fact tonight.ThanksTheresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 15, 2005 Report Share Posted May 15, 2005 I have a big SMILE on my face. You made my day. I appreciate you sharing your stories and thank you for being a friend to me. I do not know what I would do if I did not have this support gtoup hear to ask questions and vent. Thank you and God bless you for offering to lay the law down for my family. I am going to sit down with them and let them know what has to be done and what I need for them and if they do not want to work with me I will have to get rid of things that are in my way. God bless you for being such a blessing to me and others Theresa > Theresa... I'm 5'10 and hypo huge... > > I've stood down a truck load of drunken guys that thought they might have > a bit of fun with me and my gal friend when we came back from fishin. > > I knocked five grown men on their butts when they decided that I might be > a little bit of fun in the basement of the school that I was delivering > supplies to (I have to share this story, the school was closed for the > summer and all the doors were chained/locked but one. I had wandered > around the building trying to find some one to unlock the deliver door so > I could unload the gravel sacks. I found them in a break room. Explained > who I was and the all came with me to unlock the door. I got to the back > of the truck and started to climb up into the back. The guy closest to me > gave me a 'very friendly' push on my rear and offered to 'come up and > give me a hand'. Well.. that didn't feel quite right to me... so I > grabbed a 50 pound sack of gravel and swung it around and let it fly... > hit him square in the middle of his chest and knocked him on his > hinny.... I did the other four guys the same way... whap whap whap and > left the last bag on the ground. Climbed into the cab and drove away, > didn't bother getting a receipt for the delivery. Considering that not > one of those guys called my boss or the cops, I think I guessed the > situation pretty good). I stood my ground when two guys on a freight > elevator were asking too many questions and staring a bit too close at > the money bags that I was picking up... and I stood down my cousins son > the day he decided he got big enough to hit his mom....... > > I was caregiver to a dear family friend while she was undergoing > radiation therapy for brain cancer (most likely caused by nutri- sweet, > BTW). Her three sons and their wives came over for Thanksgiving dinner. > While everyone was eating, the eldest son took me aside and said that > they'd decided to put her in a home.... I got nose to nose with him, this > was AFTER my RAI, too.... and looked him square in the eye and told him > over my dead body was he locking her away, she's staying here with us, > just as she asked before the surgery and she wasn't able to talk or > communicate anymore.... > > I'll stand before your family and explain to them the facts of life and > how they need to have a bit more respect for my friend!!!! You didn't > choose to have a crappy thyroid and regardless of what you do or do not > accomplish, I'd lay my life down and say that you're working harder to do > what you do than any of them do on ANY given day! > > Considering you're there and I'm here.... I could make up a letter for > you to hand to each one of them..... > > *wink* > > Topper () *chuckling at the memory of how that whap sounded and > those guys grunting on their way down to the ground* > > On Sun, 15 May 2005 01:40:30 -0000 " mike27591 " <wynn8113@b...> > writes: > Thank you anf God bless you for your advice. You just put a smile on > my face. I wish I could have you come to my house and tell my girls > and hubby about the box rule and see how they would take it.I think > if I told them they would not beleive I am going to throw their stuff > away. But I am going to try it and pray that it works. God bless > you for being such a blessing to me and putting a smile on my fact > tonight. > > Thanks > Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 15, 2005 Report Share Posted May 15, 2005 You go girl... and if you need a shoulder or an ear.. you've got 700 plus pairs of them right here!!!! Topper () On Sun, 15 May 2005 20:29:13 -0000 "mike27591" writes: I have a big SMILE on my face. You made my day. I appreciate you sharing your stories and thank you for being a friend to me. I do not know what I would do if I did not have this support gtoup hear to ask questions and vent. Thank you and God bless you for offering to lay the law down for my family. I am going to sit down with them and let them know what has to be done and what I need for them and if they do not want to work with me I will have to get rid of things that are in my way.God bless you for being such a blessing to me and othersTheresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2005 Report Share Posted May 19, 2005 Very " calmly " tell them how it's going to be and what you're going to do. Then, carry it out, exactly as planned. That may be why they don't believe you, if you " threaten " but don't come through. It's easy to ignore someone, when they are taken for granted. Remember that movie about that lady who took care of literally everything in the family? She went on strike, and it became national news? She literally carried a picket sign, and her family STILL didn't believe it! It took a LOT of time for them to realize that she meant every single word she said, out of respect for herself. BTW, this was a true story. Re: FITS OF ANGER > Thank you anf God bless you for your advice. You just put a smile on > my face. I wish I could have you come to my house and tell my girls > and hubby about the box rule and see how they would take it.I think > if I told them they would not beleive I am going to throw their stuff > away. But I am going to try it and pray that it works. God bless > you for being such a blessing to me and putting a smile on my fact > tonight. > > Thanks > Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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