Guest guest Posted August 14, 1999 Report Share Posted August 14, 1999 Hey, I had surgery Sept 25, 1998 and am also struggling with the self-image issue. No matter how many people tell me I look great, I still see all the imperfections. All the hanging skin and flabby legs, ect. Wondering if I will ever see myself differently even after the TT. Also I'm wondering , has anyone on this list had to take estrogen after losing weight? my doc is checking into this for me. He said he would do some reading and research and then check my blood and let me know something. But I have been really depressed the last few weeks, not sleeping well and absolutely NO sex drive!! I've also skipped my period this month, no I'm not preg. I have the Norplant. I've very edgy and extremely moody (probly sexual tension,huh!) But was wondering if anyone has been thru this. I wondering if it is just the self image thing getting more down or something chemical? I had so hoped I would never suffer from depression again after losing the weight but it looks like it's back again stronger than ever!! hugs to all, Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 1999 Report Share Posted August 14, 1999 Maybe because I have such a wonderful support group of family and friends, this has not really been an issue for me. I love what I see when I look in the mirror. Just today at work someone that I had not seen for a while did not recognize me. I get that a lot. And between my family and co-workers constantly telling me how great I look, it just has not been a problem. I guess that isn't really overcoming the issue, since it never was an issue. B in California BJklein7@... wrote: > From: BJklein7@... > > Hello, > > In a previous posting from Beverly, she wondered if she'll ever be able to look in mirror and not see herself as fat. I am struggling with that issue too. I had an open RNY in Oct.96 and went from a high of 320 to 115. I still look in the mirror and see myself fat, or just see fat legs or flabby stomach, though I had TT. I wonder too if I'll always think like this? I'm sure many of us struggle with this self-esteem issue; has anyone overcame it? > Blessings (\O/) Bev.(from Fremont,ca) > > --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 1999 Report Share Posted August 14, 1999 I guess it differes with people. I have a wonderful supportive family. My dh has never said anything about my weight when I was overweight and now he tells me how beautiful I am every time he sees me. And he would tell me that before. He said he still see the same woman he married 13 years ago. That the weight is not a factor in our relationship and never will be. People stop me and tell me how wonderful I look. People tell me they don't even recognize me anymore. And I know I've lost weight and I can see it in my clothes and everywhere but I still I don't know how to explain it. Please tell me I'm not the only one out there! Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 1999 Report Share Posted August 15, 1999 Dana: You're not the only one out there. It's funny, but I haven't picked on my body too much since I've lost this weight. I had a tt fifteen years ago, and lipo a couple of times along the way when I lost some, so even though the tt did get stretched with the weight re-gain it doesn't look so bad. I am in this margin of looking different since I've been overweight, but not really gross. I'm 46. No one is going to fall for me because my body looks like the coverguy on " Men's Health " magazine. I'm pretty sure on this one. Maybe because I've had the surgery and regained and found that there are no real answers there, I'm not too excited about the expenses, inconvenience and risk involved. I'd kind of like upper thighs, but I'm just too tired. The picking on yourself part can come from anywhere though. I had a facelift, eyes, nose and they reduced the size of my earlobes since they were starting to look like LBJ's. The nose and earlobes continue to grow. Anyway, one of the earlobes looks a little strange to me...the other one is downright perfect. I look at other people's earlobes now and see how incredibly strange and varied this part of the body is. People I trust tell me they can see absolutely no difference between the two. But instead of seeing that my face looks about 25 times better and I don't look like I have a terminal disease after losing weight so fast, all I zero in on is the *@#%! earlobe. Same problem as yours, just different. But you know, you may need the tt to make you feel better. Sometimes with these surgeries you are just trading scars for less skin and residual fat, but even though they might not get you ready for close-up camera work, they can make clothes fit much better and give you a much better feel about the way you move. You sound a little like me, (except for the period stuff), so I still wonder if we're just so programmed to pick on ourselves like everyone else has that it's hard to stop. If my ear was just perfect, what would be the problem then. I KNOW I'd have one. Good Luck! Bandas Austin, TX RNY 4-28-98, Dr. Selinkoff, San , TX Then: 305 Now: 180 Gone: 112.5 pounds in 12 months Gone: 120.0 pounds in 13 months (-7.5 month 13) Gone: 123.0 pounds in 14 months (-3.0 month 14) Gone: 125.0 pounds in 15 months (-2.0 month 15) Re: fat in the mirror > > > I guess it differes with people. I have a wonderful supportive family. My > dh has never said anything about my weight when I was overweight and now he > tells me how beautiful I am every time he sees me. And he would tell me that > before. He said he still see the same woman he married 13 years ago. That > the weight is not a factor in our relationship and never will be. People > stop me and tell me how wonderful I look. People tell me they don't even > recognize me anymore. And I know I've lost weight and I can see it in my > clothes and everywhere but I still I don't know how to explain it. Please > tell me I'm not the only one out there! > > Dana > > > --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 1999 Report Share Posted August 15, 1999 I wonder about this and the other issue: constant fear of gaining it back. The seeing myself fat is better than it used to be, but probably will always be distorted. The fear of gaining it back drives me crazy some times. It's like you will wake up and be fat again. A voice constantly tells me: " You fool, nothing can be this easy, you will gain it all back! " Now that you all think I am certifiable, talk to you later ... Jan C. 3-11-98 RNY fat in the mirror >From: BJklein7@... > >Hello, > >In a previous posting from Beverly, she wondered if she'll ever be able to look in mirror and not see herself as fat. I am struggling with that issue too. I had an open RNY in Oct.96 and went from a high of 320 to 115. I still look in the mirror and see myself fat, or just see fat legs or flabby stomach, though I had TT. I wonder too if I'll always think like this? I'm sure many of us struggle with this self-esteem issue; has anyone overcame it? >Blessings (\O/) Bev.(from Fremont,ca) > >--------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 1999 Report Share Posted August 15, 1999 In a message dated 8/15/99 8:03:18 AM Eastern Daylight Time, dbandas@... writes: << But you know, you may need the tt to make you feel better. Sometimes with these surgeries you are just trading scars for less skin and residual fat, but even though they might not get you ready for close-up camera work, they can make clothes fit much better and give you a much better feel about the way you move. >> Hi : I am new to the list and I had to let you know that I agree with you on this one. I had a TT 6/23/99 after losing 130 pounds since 12/1/97. The surgeon only removed 15 pounds of skin and fat (I still weigh 225) but, OMG, what a difference in my appearance and the way my clothes fit! I can't help but be effected by the change emotionally. I may even be motivated to try to lose the other 50 pounds I had wanted to lose in the beginning of my journey; and maybe not. To be honest, I like where I'm at right now---except those thighs!! Connie...xo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 1999 Report Share Posted August 15, 1999 Dana, I know exactly where you are. I am there also. I suspect the mental aspect of realizing we are not obese any longer takes a much longer time to achieve than the physical changes have. I also see myself " fat " . I am continually feeling the hanging skin on my arms and thighs when I am daydreaming or whatever. It drives my dh crazy. The TT is absolutely necessary, and will be done no matter what the cost to me --- for my sanity sake. While I haven't seen you for about three months, you looked fantastic then, and I'm sure it's even more so now. The gyn visit to check into the estrogen thing is this week, will let you know if our weight loss is related to estrogen loss (as estrogen is manufactured in our bodies by fat cells). You are NOT the only one out there feeling still imperfect and critical of yourself. Carolyn Re: fat in the mirror > > >I guess it differes with people. I have a wonderful supportive family. My >dh has never said anything about my weight when I was overweight and now he >tells me how beautiful I am every time he sees me. And he would tell me that >before. He said he still see the same woman he married 13 years ago. That >the weight is not a factor in our relationship and never will be. People >stop me and tell me how wonderful I look. People tell me they don't even >recognize me anymore. And I know I've lost weight and I can see it in my >clothes and everywhere but I still I don't know how to explain it. Please >tell me I'm not the only one out there! > >Dana > > >--------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 1999 Report Share Posted August 15, 1999 Bev... Interesting comment, and although I can't relate..I had a hysterectomy when I was 24..I know of another person who just stopped having periods after her WLS..wonder if it's related at all?... DE Proximal RNY August 15, 1997 5 ft 1 in Age 45 Beginning weight 308 Current Weight 114 (194 pounds GONE!) Fat in the mirror >From: BJKlein7@... > >Dana and : > >I'm glad I'm not the only one who suffers from self-esteem problems. I get a lot of positive comments about how I look, but when I look at myself all I see is the flaws! Maybe part of it is hormonal (sorry guys). I haven't had a period since May98 and have no sex drive at all! I'm only 42! But I have had many complications from original surgery, so maybe that's the cause, who knows? >Blessings, Bev > >--------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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