Re: Need Support

[Guest guest]

I feel so distraught this morning that I am just crying out for help. Yesterday I went to a new doctor here in California that Dr. Thayer recommended. He did not have great bedside manner. As a patient that is is always difficult because you just don't know whether the guy is still a great doctor. Apparently, he studied under the guys in San Diego that worked on Carnie . They do all their surgeries laproscopically here. The court deputy I work with at the bankruptcy courthouse here has experience with these doctors and assures me that he is great. Her husband had the surgery last year and my new doc assisted on his surgery. I talked to him on the phone and he just gushed with joy about how having this surgery was the best thing he had ever done. I was happy for him but so upset!! I wanted that feeling so bad!!

! I called Dr. Thayer yesterday to have him sent the operative report to the new doctor. I have been upset ever since. The new doc said that I had not lost enough weight, gasped at the keloids on my scar and basically said there was probably not much that could be done except join the support group there and start losing weight the old fashioned way. This morning I woke up so upset. Here I am, full of scars, still plenty fat, watching my hair fall out and still single without any prospects of finding someone to share my life with. At the time of surgery I was honestly willing to die if it meant that I would be fat forever. I went through a honeymoon period later where I was just glad to be alive, but today I am starting to feel that same way about weight again. I do not know what I want. I am so scared to have another surgery, but then again a part of me just wants this surger!

y fixed so that I can feel the joy that so many of you are feeling.

P.S This morning I am going for an Upper Gi test at the hospital and a nutrition blood test.

latta@...

[Guest guest]

,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I understand how hopeless this

must feel, but you’re not alone out there. Maybe you could call Dr. Thayer

and tell him what happened. See if he agrees with this Dr. Or if he can

do anything. At the very least, you should get involved with a support

group, just to make contact, then see what other options you have and take

it from there.

This new Dr. May be great, but his answers sound quick and dismissive.

Maybe you could meet with him in person and discuss it further. The trick

is to be pushy and express yourself. Ask about other options... ask what

you need to do to get this surgery. If things don’t work out, he’s not

the only surgeon out there, right?

In any case, I think the first step is to find a counselor who can be

there for you during this process. Don’t give up hope! Fat or thin, there

is someone out there for you! Many of us found our special guys BEFORE

surgery. It’s more difficult, maybe, but it happens just the same. When

you’re able to have a positive outlook, it shows and people are naturally

more attracted to you. I wish you the best of luck, and remember, we’re

here for you every single day!

- Alice A.

latta@... wrote:

I feel

so distraught this morning that I am just crying out for help.

Yesterday I went to a new

doctor here in California that Dr. Thayer

recommended. He did

not have great bedside manner. As a patient that is is

always difficult because

you just don't know whether the guy is still a great

doctor. Apparently, he studied

under the guys in San Diego that worked on

Carnie . They

do all their surgeries laproscopically here. The court

deputy I work with at the

bankruptcy courthouse here has experience with

these doctors and assures

me that he is great. Her husband had the surgery

last year and my new doc

assisted on his surgery. I talked to him on the

phone and he just gushed

with joy about how having this surgery was the best

thing he had ever done.

I was happy for him but so upset!! I wanted that

feeling so bad!! ! !

I called Dr. Thayer yesterday to have him sent the

operative report to the

new doctor. I have been upset ever since. The new

doc said that I had not

lost enough weight, gasped at the keloids on my scar

and basically said there

was probably not much that could be done except join

the support group there

and start losing weight the old fashioned way. This

morning I woke up so upset.

Here I am, full of scars, still plenty fat,

watching my hair fall out

and still single without any prospects of finding

someone to share my life

with. At the time of surgery I was honestly willing

to die if it meant that

I would be fat forever. I went through a honeymoon

period later where I was

just glad to be alive, but today I am starting to

feel that same way about

weight again. I do not know what I want. I am so

scared to have another surgery,

but then again a part of me just wants this

surger! ! y fixed so that

I can feel the joy that so many of you are feeling.

P.S This morning I am going

for an Upper Gi test at the hospital and a

nutrition blood test.

latta@...

[Guest guest]

,

You said the Doctor said he wasen't sure if he could do anything???

When would he know??? Did he say why?? Pam

On Tue, 14 Nov 2000 11:08:58 EST latta@... writes:

> I feel so distraught this morning that I am just crying out for help.

>

> Yesterday I went to a new doctor here in California that Dr. Thayer

> recommended. He did not have great bedside manner. As a patient

> that is is

> always difficult because you just don't know whether the guy is

> still a great

> doctor. Apparently, he studied under the guys in San Diego that

> worked on

> Carnie . They do all their surgeries laproscopically here.

> The court

> deputy I work with at the bankruptcy courthouse here has experience

> with

> these doctors and assures me that he is great. Her husband had the

> surgery

> last year and my new doc assisted on his surgery. I talked to him

> on the

> phone and he just gushed with joy about how having this surgery was

> the best

> thing he had ever done. I was happy for him but so upset!! I

> wanted that

> feeling so bad!! I called Dr. Thayer yesterday to have him sent the

>

> operative report to the new doctor. I have been upset ever since.

> The new

> doc said that I had not lost enough weight, gasped at the keloids on

> my scar

> and basically said there was probably not much that could be done

> except join

> the support group there and start losing weight the old fashioned

> way. This

> morning I woke up so upset. Here I am, full of scars, still plenty

> fat,

> watching my hair fall out and still single without any prospects of

> finding

> someone to share my life with. At the time of surgery I was

> honestly willing

> to die if it meant that I would be fat forever. I went through a

> honeymoon

> period later where I was just glad to be alive, but today I am

> starting to

> feel that same way about weight again. I do not know what I want.

> I am so

> scared to have another surgery, but then again a part of me just

> wants this

> surgery fixed so that I can feel the joy that so many of you are

> feeling.

>

>

>

> P.S This morning I am going for an Upper Gi test at the hospital and

> a

> nutrition blood test.

>

> latta@...

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[Guest guest]

,

I'm sorry you're feeling so lousy right now, I REALLY hope you can get help with someone just to discuss your feelings you're having, both before all of this happening, as well as now.

You have been through hell and back with everything, and I myself am EXTREMELY thankful we can have this discussion today, you suffered tremendously, had some serious problems afterwards, but you are here talking to us about this! That's a MAJOR first hurdle you overcame.

My question is, did they Dr. say why he didn't think anything else further could be done? What kinds of problems inside the area of your surgeries did he find? Is it possible that maybe a bit further down the road, another LAP version of RNY could be achieved? If so, I personally I think I would wait it out a bit longer, concentrate on your HEALING from the complications you've gone thru, then make your decision. I wouldn't want the healing from your prior surgeries to interfere with anything, if it would be better to wait.

Now, about not sharing your life with anyone....You will find someone sweetie! It'll be where and when you least expect it! Try a laundry mat in the middle of the night, shopping, etc...talk on the phone, whatever, but you will, and they'll like you for who you are!

Hang in there!

Dawn

-----Original Message-----From: latta@... Sent: Tuesday, November 14, 2000 11:09 AMTo: OSSG-NewEnglandegroupsSubject: Re: Need SupportI feel so distraught this morning that I am just crying out for help. Yesterday I went to a new doctor here in California that Dr. Thayer recommended. He did not have great bedside manner. As a patient that is is always difficult because you just don't know whether the guy is still a great doctor. Apparently, he studied under the guys in San Diego that worked on Carnie . They do all their surgeries laproscopically here. The court deputy I work with at the bankruptcy courthouse here has experience with these doctors and assures me that he is great. Her husband had the surgery last year and my new doc assisted on his surgery. I talked to him on the phone and he just gushed with joy about how having this surgery was the best thing he had ever done. I was happy for him but so upset!! I wanted that feeling so bad!! ! I called Dr. Thayer yesterday to have him sent the operative report to the new doctor. I have been upset ever since. The new doc said that I had not lost enough weight, gasped at the keloids on my scar and basically said there was probably not much that could be done except join the support group there and start losing weight the old fashioned way. This morning I woke up so upset. Here I am, full of scars, still plenty fat, watching my hair fall out and still single without any prospects of finding someone to share my life with. At the time of surgery I was honestly willing to die if it meant that I would be fat forever. I went through a honeymoon period later where I was just glad to be alive, but today I am starting to feel that same way about weight again. I do not know what I want. I am so scared to have another surgery, but then again a part of me just wants this surger! y fixed so that I can feel the joy that so many of you are feeling. P.S This morning I am going for an Upper Gi test at the hospital and a nutrition blood test. latta@...

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry to hear you are really having a rough time right now.

Has the surgeon you saw said anything about revision, corrective surgery ..

or is it that messed up it cannot be done? That didn't sound too good I know

about just dieting .. Why not go to the support group meeting at least to

reach out, meet others and get support perhaps that is a start .. I would

continue to look for a surgeon who is willing to review your case in full

and try to help you. I'm sure something must be able to be done for you. I

pray there is ..

I'm sure you'll meet someone too I think right now there is so much going on

in your life you are overwhelmed. Do you have any friends in your new area

to reach out with too? We're here for you but sometimes having someone right

there to sit with helps too. Are you able to be with your family this

holiday season? I know you've just moved, new job, all the surgeries and

problems youv'e had hon its no surprise you're under so much stress right

now. I hope things start to clear up for you soon and that you get all the

answers you so deserve to receive.

Sending big hugs to you. You are a strong beautiful young woman inside and

out for the way you've handled everything to date. Hang in there.

Sending prayers and hugs

Lyssa

[Guest guest]

,

Try to take all of this one day at a time, but also keep in mind that this

is not the only doc on the west coast who performs this surgery. You don't

have to stop at a 1st, 2nd, 3rd or more opinion. You've been thru hell

already, try to keep your chin up and keep working toward what you want!

(and if it upsets you... CRY and let it out!

-Kathy

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the support last Tuesday - I was just feeling so bad. Well, I

had an Upper GI test Tuesday and finally got some information on what happened. Dr. Thayer does a vertical RNY - which means that there is a lengthwise suture in the stomach as opposed to a horizontal one along the top of the stomach. I never knew that before the surgery!! Anyway, the X-rays show that the stomach is sutured only 3/4 of the way up - leaving a rather large opening at the top of the stomach. When I drank the barium, it showed the liquid going directly into the small vertical pouch and into the other opening that goes into the large pouch of the stomach. Basically - that means that I just about have the stomach capacity of a person that did not have a gastric bypass!!! The radiologist could not suggest at what point this happened, but it not right.

I also had blood taken to test my nutrition levels. I will know more on the 28th when I have another appointment with the new surgeon. Also, I have met three people already who have had the gastric bypass surgery here. It is wild -- I do not know that many people here in California. They even advertize the surgery on t.v.!!! So I got hooked into a support group and a weekly luncheon with several other women in the courthouse who have had the surgery. So I am gathering information on the surgeons and getting some support. No one can believe my scars and what I have been through.

I talked to Dr. Thayer last week. He is sending my operative records to the new surgeon and hopefully will talk to him about my case. Dr. Thayer attempted to calm me down about my hair loss, lack of weight loss etc... I know that he eventually wants to do a revision of the surgery rather than someone else.

I at this point want a second opinion and would prefer a LAP surgery -- I think. Just a month ago I would never have considered another surgery, but time makes you forget pain. Also, a failed date may have something to do with it. I met a guy over the internet - we got along great - then we met -- then nothing.

I know, I know, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before meeting prince charming, but its hard.

latta@...

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for clarifying that. I'm so sorry you're going through all this right now.

Don't worry about the guy on the net...there are plenty of fish in the sea! Don't lose your optimistic attitude...like they say (Joni too) "Good things come to those who wait". IT WILL HAPPEN!

That's great about the support system you're gathering. Talk, talk, talk...it'll do you a tremendous amount of encouragement, and focus on the long run.

Hang in there!

Dawn

-----Original Message-----From: latta@... Sent: Saturday, November 18, 2000 2:49 PMTo: OSSG-NewEnglandegroupsSubject: Re: Need SupportThanks for the support last Tuesday - I was just feeling so bad. Well, I had an Upper GI test Tuesday and finally got some information on what happened. Dr. Thayer does a vertical RNY - which means that there is a lengthwise suture in the stomach as opposed to a horizontal one along the top of the stomach. I never knew that before the surgery!! Anyway, the X-rays show that the stomach is sutured only 3/4 of the way up - leaving a rather large opening at the top of the stomach. When I drank the barium, it showed the liquid going directly into the small vertical pouch and into the other opening that goes into the large pouch of the stomach. Basically - that means that I just about have the stomach capacity of a person that did not have a gastric bypass!!! The radiologist could not suggest at what point this happened, but it not right. I also had blood taken to test my nutrition levels. I will know more on the 28th when I have another appointment with the new surgeon. Also, I have met three people already who have had the gastric bypass surgery here. It is wild -- I do not know that many people here in California. They even advertize the surgery on t.v.!!! So I got hooked into a support group and a weekly luncheon with several other women in the courthouse who have had the surgery. So I am gathering information on the surgeons and getting some support. No one can believe my scars and what I have been through. I talked to Dr. Thayer last week. He is sending my operative records to the new surgeon and hopefully will talk to him about my case. Dr. Thayer attempted to calm me down about my hair loss, lack of weight loss etc... I know that he eventually wants to do a revision of the surgery rather than someone else. I at this point want a second opinion and would prefer a LAP surgery -- I think. Just a month ago I would never have considered another surgery, but time makes you forget pain. Also, a failed date may have something to do with it. I met a guy over the internet - we got along great - then we met -- then nothing. I know, I know, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before meeting prince charming, but its hard. latta@...