a few thoughts (long)

[Guest guest]

This morning I was thinking a little about how the list or should I say

(LISTS) had changed, and I asked myself why? The fun, familar, easygoing

banter and support seems to have decreased and this is sad. Yes, there

is still support, but it isn't quite the same. As I was responsible for

the creation of the list, I'm going to take the liberty to say the

purpose behind the list formation.

My very first clinic visit was in March. After Dr R spoke, he gave

others a chance to speak and it was obvious from the outpouring that

people really needed to share and talk about their experiences with

obesity as well as ask their questions about surgery.

They (we) needed a chance to talk with someone about life and their

struggles with someone who understood them. The clinic was very long and

Dr R allowed those people to talk because they needed it. It was

therapeutic. I saw a need for people to communicate openly and freely

with one another about ANY topic they so desired. There are many things

that impact our lives besides obesity perhaps in parallel, that often

only another obese person can understand or fully appreciate them.

One person made a comment about the personal chat and from that we now

have , what, four new lists. Insurance, technical, postop, chat. So far

as I could tell, from the responses that were posted, all seemed in

favor of having one list, and leaving that list open to discussion, just

like it was originally created and formed.

I'm getting emails now about where to post, how to post, how not to

post, when to post and its all getting too complicated. I wish that

everyone would just lighten up and allow the list to be. There are so

many lists that I personally feel all of them are getting a little

watered down.

I think that the self imposed moderation of this list is

inappropriate. God knows this isn't meant to hurt anyone, I would never

do that. I know its because people are trying to be helpful, but the

list was great and everyone was happy. There is too great an influx of

new people and people who read the lists partially and don't know there

are " RULES " as to what you are allowed to say. I belong to another list

and the owner spends the majority of her time TELLING people about what

they can and can't do. Does this stop it from occurring. NO, there are

too many new people coming and going.

I've tried to limit my post here to surgery stuff but when someone post

me and says something, I am going to answer them. I've tried using the

friends list but its not going very strongly or else I'm not getting the

posts. I was much happier when this list was in its orginal form and

people were free to be themselves and chat and discuss and question and

seek out whatever support they so deemed necessary.

Just my honest opinion,

Cheryl