Yesterdays Doctors Appointment

[Guest guest]

Got in to see my pain specialist yesterday. It was a first for me. Instead of

just talking he told me he was taking me over to the surgical clinic and they

were going to pump pain meds in me until I could break my main cycle. He told me

what I already figured. It was turning into a viscious cycle. So 3 hours later,

they released me and I was feeling somewhat better. At least I could talk,and

breath. Gosh, I wish one of us could come up with a miricale drug for all of us.

Today is starting out somewhat better, and I`m going to try and not get my

undies in a bundle over family matters and things.

My husband helped me feel extra depressed again though. As usual, the nurs asked

if he would like to come in and sit with me until I became more comfortable, and

he replied. No, you can let me know when she`s done. It hurt so bad to see all

the men and women sitting next to the beds of their spouses, knowing mine cared

less what went on behind closed door.

Last night I went up stairs to sleep. couldn`t handle anymore hurt. When I

finally fell asleep, he came upstairs , woke me up and said please come down

stairs where I can check on you. Who is he trying to kid. a couple of nights ago

I screamed for about a half an hour with leg pain, calling his name, wanting

comfort, and he never responded at all. I just think he`s afraid to stay down

here alone. Or what, I don`t know.

Anyway today will be better.I guess lots of men are the same. I did tell him

that if I could work and afford to get out of here I`m afraid I would be gone.

His response was, Please don`t talk like that, I need you. I told him if he

checked the paper on work needed, he`d find all sorts of women that can do what

he needs me for., and he wouldn`t have to live with them.

I`m going to try harder today to live my life without having to cater to him.

He`s a big boy. So by the sounds of the replys to my last post, I can`t give him

away, am I right.

Thanks for being here. Take care of yourself first! Oh so easy to say isn`t it.

R.

[Guest guest]

R,

I am so sorry for your pain. We are similar with our husband problems. I am

sorry for both of us in that area too. My husband does the same things yours

does. You would be surprised at how many husbands actually leave their wives

after a couple of years of their wives being disabled and in pain no longer

being able to do 'wifely duties'.

I think you have some good insight with the things you wrote.

Yes, your husband needs you just the same way mine needs me. Mine is a second

marriage for him (a first for me), and looking back when I could do the things

we did 15+ years ago which I can no longer do today we had a great marriage. He

got all he wanted and was able to do the things he wanted to do - mainly he was

a workaholic making a great income with so many over time hours. Then he

retired on a company buy out and did not look for any other work. Then this

economy took over and he's not as well off financially as he was but my medical

bills went up as did the outrageous prices of medicines which I need.

I am sure the biggest reason he needs me is to justify his own life to himself.

He is a 'husband'. A man can't be a 'husband' without having a 'wife', can he?

I am sure he cares, but when I was not disabled and sick and in pain he was a

much happier person than he is now. It was not in his plans to take care of me

in our 'old' age, but the other way around.

He managed somehow about 2 months ago to injure his back giving him the same

sort of pain you and I and everyone else on this list has. You know what has

happened. Do you think he can deal with it? HA! Everything has stopped

because he has pain - except the TV. I think maybe it helps him instead of

thinking so hard on his pain. Let us also hope the second steroid shots he gets

tomorrow will last more than a couple of weeks. I need some sleep! :-) I do

feel sorry for him and am not happy that he hurts so badly no matter how

cynacally I wrote.

Oh well, together let's hold on one day at a time. Easy said, huh?

Judith in Glen Rock