Re: Hi, I'm new

[Guest guest]

Hi Palak,

My dad had BPD, too. We call them " fada " which means, " not a real father. "

And " nada " means " not a real mother. " That's because our parents don't

deserve to be called parents after what they have done to us. The title of

" father " or " mother " has to be earned through loving care, and emotional

abuse is not loving or caring at all.

And I can totally relate! I've blocked out so many incidents, too. I just

remember feeling frustrated so often. And I know at the time I would not be

able to get past whatever my fada did for a couple of weeks...but now I

can't remember them at all. I think it is indeed a protective thing our

brain does. When I read about BPD, incidents flash back to me, too,

sometimes.

We all hate it, and we're all helping each other heal, and I'm so glad

you're here now!

~Holly

>

>

> Hi all, I'm new to this. My name is Palak. It is now, at the age of 34,

> that I realize I was raised by a BPD father. It has affected me in so many

> ways. Now I realize how bad it was, how wrong it was because I have a 3 year

> old daughter.

> I also realized that I have blocked out so many incidents that happened in

> my childhood. I guess to protect myself. I started reading about BPD and

> slowly those incidents are flashing back and I'm having so much anxiety.

> I also think my mom has BPD, less so than my father. Either that or she was

> a really good enabler because to her I was all bad and to him I was bad or

> good depending on the day, mood, or whatever else that sets him off.

>

> I hate it. I want to heal.

>

> What is NADA, NC, etc. I see a lot of abbreviations on this board that I

> don't understand.

>

> Palak

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Palak. Your story is very common to others on this board. You're well

into the stages of healing if you've discovered the name of the illness your

fada had, so congratulations. It's not an easy journey but it's a necessary one.

I promise, your anxiety will fade with time, particularly if you are able to

relate to others who have experienced the same traumas you have. You will find

that here on this board, so you've come to the right place.

As far as abbrev:

NC = No contact

LC = Limited contact

A lot of survivors of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) choose to go NC or

LC with the BPD and others in their life associated with the disorder.

KO = Kid OF BPD (That's US!)

NPD = Narcisisstic Personality Disorder

FOG = Fear Obligation & Guilt (self evident here amont us KO's)

Sada = Sister with BPD

Bada = Brother with BPD

Fleas = Behaviours developed through exposure/ or being raised by a BPD. Not

necessarily the disorder itself by behaviours that mimick BPD.... we have a lot

of fleas on this board with which we try to understand, and cope through

compassion and support of one another.

FOO = Family Of Origin. Meaning your mother, father, siblings, and yourself.

Your offspring are not part of your FOO

>

> >

> >

> > Hi all, I'm new to this. My name is Palak. It is now, at the age of 34,

> > that I realize I was raised by a BPD father. It has affected me in so many

> > ways. Now I realize how bad it was, how wrong it was because I have a 3 year

> > old daughter.

> > I also realized that I have blocked out so many incidents that happened in

> > my childhood. I guess to protect myself. I started reading about BPD and

> > slowly those incidents are flashing back and I'm having so much anxiety.

> > I also think my mom has BPD, less so than my father. Either that or she was

> > a really good enabler because to her I was all bad and to him I was bad or

> > good depending on the day, mood, or whatever else that sets him off.

> >

> > I hate it. I want to heal.

> >

> > What is NADA, NC, etc. I see a lot of abbreviations on this board that I

> > don't understand.

> >

> > Palak

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>