Nada's Behavior: Funny or Cruel

[Guest guest]

like my nada, you nadas seem to think nothing can be given without a

" reason " for the giving...so things are held until a holiday or birthday so

they can be giving as gifts...my nada never gave us anything just to give us

something...it always had to be holiday/birthday related...

Jackie

Its not only cruel its totally weird. Not only did she not return the

blanket but she seemed to see returning the blanket as a gift...not as

something that you would just do because you want your granddaughter to have

her blanket. Was there any special significance to the blanket? You said it

was handmade especially for her. Could your nada have had some reason for

keeping it away from her?

The other thing that seems weird to me, and I know Im not the only person

like this, but when I get someone a gift...particularly something I know

they really want I am sooooo excited to give it to them I can barely wait

for the gift giving occasion to arrive.

This story is just weird no matter how you slice it.

Sidebar: My nada did something similar to me when I was in Jr. High. She

witheld some sports equiptment that I needed for months so that she could

give it to me as a christmas gift. Nevermind that for months I was waiting

on this thing, calling to see if it was ready, dealing with my coach who was

impatient for me to have the proper equiptment, and literally risking my

bodily injury without it. She seemed surprised that I was upset about

that...

[Guest guest]

YES !!! I used to collect model horses and dogs. I had some very NICE

ones, Gobels, Berwick, Royal Daltons, etc...when I got married and moved, I

couldn't take them with me right away, so I carefully packed them up in a

box and put them in the attic...a year later when we moved to a bigger

place, the models were gone !! Nada claimed she thought I didn't want them,

so sold them at a garage sale !! She was always giving my stuff away to

anyone who admired it !! Things ( like these models) that *I* bought myself

with money I made form odd jobs, babysitting etc...

Jackie

> In this light ,my mother used to build up something like my desk, telling

> me over and over again how wonderful it was, then sold it to a neighbor.

> When I protested I had nothing else, she promised she'd get me a new one.

> She never or rarely kept promises, and I said no. Then she told the

> neighbor I backed out of it, made her do it.

>

> anyone else have the same thing, nada giving away stuff, or selling to

> torment you, no other reason?

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

thanks Deanna, we all had it hard !

Jackie

Jackie, this sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.

-Deanna

[Guest guest]

my father, I call him a fada now, since he's attacked me twice within a 5

month period. My father did not attack us, unless nada attacked us first,

then he jumped in and attacked too...except for me ( until this past

fall/spring) he didn't attack me, but never stood up for me either..he

never stood up to nada, even when he knew she was wrong, he never stopped

her from attacking us, or hurting us, or calling us names, or beating us...

Jackie

>

> Hey, did most of you have a Father, or a fada? My Dad and mother were

> polar opposites. It was standing room only at his funeral-over 240 people

> showedup and we had seating for 100. He was incredible, been thru

> incredible pain, stil lworked hard, loving, everything.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with you, Annie

Jackie

Deliberate cruelty like that bullying behavior makes me want to vomit.

I don't care if nada is suffering.

I just don't freaking care that nada has a badly-wired brain.

Poor nada, my ass!

There is no excuse for deliberate mental/emotional torture like that (and

worse) perpetrated against their own small, defenseless children. And then

*laughing* about their child's distress, misery, and terror...

Good Lord. Its a nightmare scenario for a child. A real, true, living

nightmare when mommy is also the monster under your bed.

Its worse than setting puppies on fire, for Christ's sake, because people

will hear the puppies shrieking and come running to help.

-Annie

[Guest guest]

thanks Jackie, I really try to do the best that I can though there are things

that I wish I knew. The only thing that nada taught me was what NOT to do as a

parent. I just know how I felt as a kid and I know that my son is so much like

me that most of the time, going with my gut on how he might feel seems to work.

Just last week he was saying that he hated himself because he got into trouble.

We had a talk about that, I told him that I love him and the whole dialog about

how sometimes things don't go our way or sometimes we make mistakes but that

does not make us a bad person yada yada. Last night he was working on his

sentences (he is 7 years old and in 1st grade) and he wrote: " I love mommy! " and

" I love me! " . He also started to write: " I love you and " but it was bedtime so

he set the card aside. He finished it this morning and it said " I love you and

me. " That was just so great to see him writing, he was proud and asking about

his sentence structure.

He is such a sweet guy.

I didn't want to have kids with PDex. I wanted, ideally, to wait until the age

that I am now to start a family (AFTER I finished my education and had a career

that allowed me a comfortable lifestyle to raise children). I was content with

the idea of adopting kids from foster care, the older ones that nobody else

wanted, so there was no need to have kids of my own. PDex forced this on me and

I love my son dearly but I wish that he didn't have to endure his fada just to

be my son. His fada is still a risk to me and my son, PDex is trying to get

unsupervised visitation and that simply terrifies me. My son does NOT want to

see his fada at all but he is too young for his words to be taken into

consideration.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Tuesday, October 6, 2009 8:02:25 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Nada's Behavior: Funny or Cruel

you sound like a great mom, despite your own upbringing !! I chose not to

have kids. I didn't want to do to them what was done to me...and really,

until my early 40'S, mentally/emotionall y, I really wouldn't have been ready

for kids...you don't say how old your son is....if he's in his late teens, I

think somethings not right LOL but he sounds young, and you seem to know

what he needs :-)

Jackie

jackie, that is so sad. Nada didn't make sure I brushed my teeth or tuck me

in, read me stories, or anything either. Nada used to threaten to kill

herself if I didn't do as she wanted. When she was mad she'd say to get away

from her before she hurts me. I guess I was lucky to not feel a sense of

abandonment, I gave up on her at a very young age. What I wonder about now

is, how to balance such a terrible childhood with wanting a normal childhood

our own children (those of us who have kids.) My son experienced clinginess

and fear of abandonment due to his father's neglect and abuse and my

depression as a result of it all. When PDex left, my son clung to me like he

never had before (his dad was not in his way any more to stop him.) He

insisted on sleeping in my bed due to his fears. I now have him weaned back

into his own bed but he sleeps nearby. I don't want to coddle him but I

don't want to discourage his healing either. If he needs a lot of

reassurance

right now then I feel it is important to give it to him. I just wonder if I

am not giving in too much sometimes but with all he has been through, how

could I do things any differently? Our T's say that he is experiencing a 2nd

childhood to make up for the lack of safety when his dad was around. He is

free to laugh and play like he never has before. So it's like having a

younger kid until he feels more secure and matures a little. So, I try to

remember all that I lacked as a child and make sure that he doesn't have to

miss out like I did.

[Guest guest]

my nada has said she'll kill us many times, she actually tried 2X with

me...and I almost died of lack of medical treatment because she refused to

take me to the dr 2X..

Jackie

>>

>> My nada threatened to kill me too when I was little.

>

> Randi Kreger used an example of my mother trying to kill us at a cliff

> when we were kids, for the opener for her book- pre publication back in

> the day.

>

> Did anyone else here go thru that?

>

> Guess it gave me the idea to fight back , fast and hard, when it's bad.

> People have always been amazed how fast I do that, and how seriously,

> since I guess I look and act timid.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

aw, see, you ARE a good mother :-) I feel badly your son has to see someone

he's terrified of !! Thats cruel in itself !

Jackie

thanks Jackie, I really try to do the best that I can though there are

things that I wish I knew. The only thing that nada taught me was what NOT

to do as a parent. I just know how I felt as a kid and I know that my son is

so much like me that most of the time, going with my gut on how he might

feel seems to work. Just last week he was saying that he hated himself

because he got into trouble. We had a talk about that, I told him that I

love him and the whole dialog about how sometimes things don't go our way or

sometimes we make mistakes but that does not make us a bad person yada yada.

Last night he was working on his sentences (he is 7 years old and in 1st

grade) and he wrote: " I love mommy! " and " I love me! " . He also started to

write: " I love you and " but it was bedtime so he set the card aside. He

finished it this morning and it said " I love you and me. " That was just so

great to see him writing, he was proud and asking about his sentence

structure.

He is such a sweet guy.

I didn't want to have kids with PDex. I wanted, ideally, to wait until the

age that I am now to start a family (AFTER I finished my education and had a

career that allowed me a comfortable lifestyle to raise children). I was

content with the idea of adopting kids from foster care, the older ones that

nobody else wanted, so there was no need to have kids of my own. PDex forced

this on me and I love my son dearly but I wish that he didn't have to endure

his fada just to be my son. His fada is still a risk to me and my son, PDex

is trying to get unsupervised visitation and that simply terrifies me. My

son does NOT want to see his fada at all but he is too young for his words

to be taken into consideration.

[Guest guest]

it is cruel but my lawyer said that I cannot even ASK to stop visitation

altogether for 2 reasons: I have to show that I am being reasonable in allowing

his dad access to him (supervised access) and 2) I am not the one who petitioned

the court for this lawsuit. My son has improved by leaps and bounds since his

dad has chosen not to see him for nearly 2 months. My son has had NO violent

outbursts (which he was prone to doing when PDex was around, PDex is a trigger

for my son so even supervised visits affect him.) My son never had a bond with

his dad because his dad was not affectionate at all, he was abusive, using,

controlling, and outright jealous of our son. He never even acted like a dad, he

was like a bully older brother that often acted like a 180 lbs 2 year old. PDex

seems to think that this lawsuit is a threat to me, my son is the only one being

threatened here but it is being used as a bully tactic to get me to do as he

wishes (to let the whole

PD family come over and abuse my son.) They just don't get it.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Tuesday, October 6, 2009 1:48:27 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Nada's Behavior: Funny or Cruel

aw, see, you ARE a good mother :-) I feel badly your son has to see someone

he's terrified of !! Thats cruel in itself !

Jackie

thanks Jackie, I really try to do the best that I can though there are

things that I wish I knew. The only thing that nada taught me was what NOT

to do as a parent. I just know how I felt as a kid and I know that my son is

so much like me that most of the time, going with my gut on how he might

feel seems to work. Just last week he was saying that he hated himself

because he got into trouble. We had a talk about that, I told him that I

love him and the whole dialog about how sometimes things don't go our way or

sometimes we make mistakes but that does not make us a bad person yada yada.

Last night he was working on his sentences (he is 7 years old and in 1st

grade) and he wrote: " I love mommy! " and " I love me! " . He also started to

write: " I love you and " but it was bedtime so he set the card aside. He

finished it this morning and it said " I love you and me. " That was just so

great to see him writing, he was proud and asking about his sentence

structure.

He is such a sweet guy.

I didn't want to have kids with PDex. I wanted, ideally, to wait until the

age that I am now to start a family (AFTER I finished my education and had a

career that allowed me a comfortable lifestyle to raise children). I was

content with the idea of adopting kids from foster care, the older ones that

nobody else wanted, so there was no need to have kids of my own. PDex forced

this on me and I love my son dearly but I wish that he didn't have to endure

his fada just to be my son. His fada is still a risk to me and my son, PDex

is trying to get unsupervised visitation and that simply terrifies me. My

son does NOT want to see his fada at all but he is too young for his words

to be taken into consideration.

[Guest guest]

Eek, you should get a medal for trying to protect your child from his insane,

frightening bully of a fada, and from his vicious, creepy parents.

Thank God its supervised visitation, at least. Leaving your child alone with

this emotional and physical bully would be so, so much worse.

I hope that whoever it is that is doing the supervising will make notes about

each visit, and then perhaps if this third-party observer gives evidence that

the child's father is too dysfunctional, frightening, emotionally cruel and

harmful to the boy perhaps you can eventually gain the right to have his

visitation terminated with his or her testimony.

Hopefully your ex will do something really stupid (when he's not with your boy)

to get himself arrested and thrown in jail for a few years, so the child can

have some peace and safety. Poor little kid.

-Annie

" I love mommy! " and " I love me! " . He also started to

> write: " I love you and " but it was bedtime so he set the card aside. He

> finished it this morning and it said " I love you and me. " That was just so

> great to see him writing, he was proud and asking about his sentence

> structure.

> He is such a sweet guy.

>

> I didn't want to have kids with PDex. I wanted, ideally, to wait until the

> age that I am now to start a family (AFTER I finished my education and had a

> career that allowed me a comfortable lifestyle to raise children). I was

> content with the idea of adopting kids from foster care, the older ones that

> nobody else wanted, so there was no need to have kids of my own. PDex forced

> this on me and I love my son dearly but I wish that he didn't have to endure

> his fada just to be my son. His fada is still a risk to me and my son, PDex

> is trying to get unsupervised visitation and that simply terrifies me. My

> son does NOT want to see his fada at all but he is too young for his words

> to be taken into consideration.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

courts are SO behind the times...yes, it's great they have parental rights

for healthy parents, but they never address the mentally ill !! with his

history, I cant beleive they'd even allow him near a child !!

Jackie

it is cruel but my lawyer said that I cannot even ASK to stop visitation

altogether for 2 reasons: I have to show that I am being reasonable in

allowing his dad access to him (supervised access) and 2) I am not the one

who petitioned the court for this lawsuit. My son has improved by leaps and

bounds since his dad has chosen not to see him for nearly 2 months. My son

has had NO violent outbursts (which he was prone to doing when PDex was

around, PDex is a trigger for my son so even supervised visits affect him.)

My son never had a bond with his dad because his dad was not affectionate at

all, he was abusive, using, controlling, and outright jealous of our son. He

never even acted like a dad, he was like a bully older brother that often

acted like a 180 lbs 2 year old. PDex seems to think that this lawsuit is a

threat to me, my son is the only one being threatened here but it is being

used as a bully tactic to get me to do as he wishes (to let the whole

PD family come over and abuse my son.) They just don't get it.

[Guest guest]

thanks Annie.

There WOULD be someone there to document their interaction at the visitation

center if PDex would only comply with the court order.. I was so terrified of

standing up to him and forcing him to go to the visitation center (he flat out

refused and pressured ME into supervising the visits) that my mom and I were the

only ones supervising the visits this year. PDex was pressured by his mom into

forcing me to let his parents visit too and that was a line that I would not

cross. I told PDex " NO " and he continued to press the issue, he got angry,

threatened lawsuits, said they already had a lawyer and were going to sue me,

etc. so I said that all communication would go through our attorneys from that

point on. It turns out that it was a bully tactic, PDex got a lawyer a few weeks

later and sent me ranting emails about how inhuman I am, how selfish I was being

for not complying with his demands, etc ad nauseum. So now we battle this in

court because I would not

be bullied any longer. I am still terrified of him, he is even more a threat

now since he isn't getting what he wants, but I am NOT going to stand for this

any longer and I won't willingly expose my son to the entire PD clan..

If PDex eventually complies with the court ordered supervised visitation then

the superviser (a licensed counselor) may notice enough " wrong " to recommending

a stop to the visits but it will take time and PDex is throwing a tantrum and

making all kinds of excuses not to use the center (he has tried claiming that it

costs too much, he doesn't have my address so I need to give it to him, etc...

all utter BS to cover for the real excuse... he told me many times that he

doesn't want to use the center because he doesn't want to hang out with " the

scum bags " at the visitation center. Chances are, most of the guys there have

done LESS than PDex has done.) It all boils down to this: PDex does not WANT to

use the visitation center so he thinks he doesn't have to (in spite of a court

order.) This is all my fault (according to him) and I should do what he wants.

If I don't do what he wants then I am crazy, selfish, keeping his son from him,

keeping my son from his

grandparents, etc.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1@...

Sent: Tuesday, October 6, 2009 4:07:34 PM

Subject: Re: Nada's Behavior: Funny or Cruel

Eek, you should get a medal for trying to protect your child from his insane,

frightening bully of a fada, and from his vicious, creepy parents.

Thank God its supervised visitation, at least. Leaving your child alone with

this emotional and physical bully would be so, so much worse.

I hope that whoever it is that is doing the supervising will make notes about

each visit, and then perhaps if this third-party observer gives evidence that

the child's father is too dysfunctional, frightening, emotionally cruel and

harmful to the boy perhaps you can eventually gain the right to have his

visitation terminated with his or her testimony.

Hopefully your ex will do something really stupid (when he's not with your boy)

to get himself arrested and thrown in jail for a few years, so the child can

have some peace and safety. Poor little kid.

-Annie

" I love mommy! " and " I love me! " . He also started to

> write: " I love you and " but it was bedtime so he set the card aside. He

> finished it this morning and it said " I love you and me. " That was just so

> great to see him writing, he was proud and asking about his sentence

> structure.

> He is such a sweet guy.

>

> I didn't want to have kids with PDex. I wanted, ideally, to wait until the

> age that I am now to start a family (AFTER I finished my education and had a

> career that allowed me a comfortable lifestyle to raise children). I was

> content with the idea of adopting kids from foster care, the older ones that

> nobody else wanted, so there was no need to have kids of my own. PDex forced

> this on me and I love my son dearly but I wish that he didn't have to endure

> his fada just to be my son. His fada is still a risk to me and my son, PDex

> is trying to get unsupervised visitation and that simply terrifies me. My

> son does NOT want to see his fada at all but he is too young for his words

> to be taken into consideration.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

wow, it's a miracle any of us survived !! I was stung by 2 bees in the

neck. I am allergic to bee stings, and my neck swelled up and I was having

trouble breathing. Nada didn't believe me..but my oldest sister got scared

and drove me to the hospital...the other time I fell and landed on my back

and had a collapsed lung...nada said I was fine and that should tech me not

to climb trees any more...a neighbor took me to the hospital...yet, they

never said anything about nada NOT doing it....

Jackie

>

>>

>> my nada has said she'll kill us many times, she actually tried 2X with

>> me...and I almost died of lack of medical treatment because she refused

>> to

>> take me to the dr 2X..

>

>

> Me too. What was it for you? what were you sick with?

>

> She screamed at me about my eyes failing, and ll the way to the hospital

> ,she kept telling me she was gonna make me pay for the visit. When the

> nurse came back in, they said they were getting me a room up in

> pediatrics. My mother asked why? And she said

>

> " He has type one diabetes. If he isn't in here with the next tow hours, he

> will go into a coma and die "

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

geez, I am lucky that I didn't have major mishaps. I went to neighbors when

there were minor situations (like my younger brother getting his arm caught in a

soda machine.) A neighbor taught me to swim. I ran, with my younger brother,

when people broke into our home and started ransacking the place when we were

home alone (I was about 8 at the time, my brother would have been 6.) We had so

many close calls but if either of us had been allergic to anything we should

have been up shit creek. I knew better than to go to nada for anything.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Tuesday, October 6, 2009 4:32:19 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Nada's Behavior: Funny or Cruel

wow, it's a miracle any of us survived !! I was stung by 2 bees in the

neck. I am allergic to bee stings, and my neck swelled up and I was having

trouble breathing. Nada didn't believe me..but my oldest sister got scared

and drove me to the hospital...the other time I fell and landed on my back

and had a collapsed lung...nada said I was fine and that should tech me not

to climb trees any more...a neighbor took me to the hospital...yet, they

never said anything about nada NOT doing it....

Jackie

>

>>

>> my nada has said she'll kill us many times, she actually tried 2X with

>> me...and I almost died of lack of medical treatment because she refused

>> to

>> take me to the dr 2X..

>

>

> Me too. What was it for you? what were you sick with?

>

> She screamed at me about my eyes failing, and ll the way to the hospital

> ,she kept telling me she was gonna make me pay for the visit. When the

> nurse came back in, they said they were getting me a room up in

> pediatrics. My mother asked why? And she said

>

> " He has type one diabetes. If he isn't in here with the next tow hours, he

> will go into a coma and die "

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

What a basket-case your ex is. If you aren't already, I suggest copying your

lawyer and the licensed counselor on all the ranting, abusive e-mails your ex

sends you. A pattern of raging and threatening emails will help demonstrate how

mentally unstable he is compared to your calm and rational replies.

YOu need a paper trail documenting how dangerous he really is so that eventually

his parental rights can be terminated (or something) and your boy will never

needs to fear seeing his fada again.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, best of luck with this battle.

-Annie

" I love mommy! " and " I love me! " . He also started to

> > write: " I love you and " but it was bedtime so he set the card aside. He

> > finished it this morning and it said " I love you and me. " That was just so

> > great to see him writing, he was proud and asking about his sentence

> > structure.

> > He is such a sweet guy.

> >

> > I didn't want to have kids with PDex. I wanted, ideally, to wait until the

> > age that I am now to start a family (AFTER I finished my education and had a

> > career that allowed me a comfortable lifestyle to raise children). I was

> > content with the idea of adopting kids from foster care, the older ones that

> > nobody else wanted, so there was no need to have kids of my own. PDex forced

> > this on me and I love my son dearly but I wish that he didn't have to endure

> > his fada just to be my son. His fada is still a risk to me and my son, PDex

> > is trying to get unsupervised visitation and that simply terrifies me. My

> > son does NOT want to see his fada at all but he is too young for his words

> > to be taken into consideration.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

true !!

Jackie

>

>

> It's because there is a pretty big bias against the mentally ill. So, the

> courts tend to generalize, as they are doing here. Also, people always

> make up ridiculous stuff when custody is involved, and the judges get

> inured to it.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow...this story about the blanket has brought up so many different associations

for me. Thank you for sharing about it.

My youngest daughter has a blankey...that she was extremely attached to since

infancy. One of the reasons that she got so attached to it is because she and

her three older siblings were kidnapped and taken out of state by my PDex and we

were separated for two months before I got them back. After the kids came home,

they all had symptoms of separation anxiety, which we got through with the help

of some good therapists. But my daughter's attachment to blankey continued, and

" he " became part of our lives...kind of like some kid's imaginary friends do.

When my girls were eight(she has a twin sister) they went to Disneyland with DHs

PD step mom(Oh, do I wish I could go back and do things differently) and she

decided that S. was " too old " to have a security blanket, and took blankey out

of S. suitcase and left him in the trash.

S. was hysterical when she got home and couldn't find her blanket. Her twin sis

decided to give S her own blanket which was identical, since they had both

received on as babies. We loosened the stitches around one corner, so that the

binding had a gap in it(S. liked to put her foot through, so blankey was around

her ankle while she slept)

DH and I were absolutely furious at his stepmom, and that incident was the

catalyst for me(and the girls) refusing to have any more contact with her. DH

tried to manage the relationship for a few more years, but ended up realizing

that she was a malignant narcissist/sociopath after his father died while they

were on vacation in Europe. There is good evidence that his stepmom caused his

death; she didn't contact anyone in the states until three full days had passed,

she paid off the Austrian coroner so that they didn't do an autopsy, he had

recently changed his will to give her everything(he was a wealthy man) and she

had been bragging to her friends that she and her daughter couldn't wait for him

to snuff it so she could get her hands on all his money. She told a different

story about what happened to everyone she talked to. It made for an interesting

funeral...

This stuff doesn't just happen to people on Dateline or 20/20. It happens to

people like us, who have the bad luck to be related to or involved with Cluster

B PDs...the worst of which seem to have absolutely no conscience.

Cruelty to animals and children is a big red flag that an individual is capable

of criminal acts.

RT

> Its not only cruel its totally weird. Not only did she not return the

> blanket but she seemed to see returning the blanket as a gift...not as

> something that you would just do because you want your granddaughter to have

> her blanket. Was there any special significance to the blanket? You said it

> was handmade especially for her. Could your nada have had some reason for

> keeping it away from her?

>

> The other thing that seems weird to me, and I know Im not the only person

> like this, but when I get someone a gift...particularly something I know

> they really want I am sooooo excited to give it to them I can barely wait

> for the gift giving occasion to arrive.

>

> This story is just weird no matter how you slice it.

>

> Sidebar: My nada did something similar to me when I was in Jr. High. She

> witheld some sports equiptment that I needed for months so that she could

> give it to me as a christmas gift. Nevermind that for months I was waiting

> on this thing, calling to see if it was ready, dealing with my coach who was

> impatient for me to have the proper equiptment, and literally risking my

> bodily injury without it. She seemed surprised that I was upset about

> that...

>

[Guest guest]

How horrible for your girls to be kidnapped like that, it must have been

extremely traumatic for both you and them. Good Lord.

I am morbidly fascinated by step-grandnada targeting only one twin for

psychological torture by taking away her security object, but leaving the other

twin unmolested. That was both cruel and bizarre on the part of step-grandnada.

Perhaps step-grandnada chose to designate " S. " as the " scapegoat " and her twin

as the " golden child. " Pds tend to inflict that abuse on siblings.

Being taken on a trip away from mommy was probably very anxiety-provoking in the

first place (too similar to being kidnapped) and then to have her security

blanket taken away too? That's just beyond sadistic.

Good for you for cutting off contact with her. Too bad you didn't instigate a

murder investigation against her, the death of your father-in-law does sound

suspicious. I don't think there is a statute of limitation on suspected murder;

you could always initiate an investigation at some point in the future.

-Annie

>

>

> Wow...this story about the blanket has brought up so many different

associations for me. Thank you for sharing about it.

>

> My youngest daughter has a blankey...that she was extremely attached to since

infancy. One of the reasons that she got so attached to it is because she and

her three older siblings were kidnapped and taken out of state by my PDex and we

were separated for two months before I got them back. After the kids came home,

they all had symptoms of separation anxiety, which we got through with the help

of some good therapists. But my daughter's attachment to blankey continued, and

" he " became part of our lives...kind of like some kid's imaginary friends do.

>

> When my girls were eight(she has a twin sister) they went to Disneyland with

DHs PD step mom(Oh, do I wish I could go back and do things differently) and she

decided that S. was " too old " to have a security blanket, and took blankey out

of S. suitcase and left him in the trash.

>

> S. was hysterical when she got home and couldn't find her blanket. Her twin

sis decided to give S her own blanket which was identical, since they had both

received on as babies. We loosened the stitches around one corner, so that the

binding had a gap in it(S. liked to put her foot through, so blankey was around

her ankle while she slept)

>

> DH and I were absolutely furious at his stepmom, and that incident was the

catalyst for me(and the girls) refusing to have any more contact with her. DH

tried to manage the relationship for a few more years, but ended up realizing

that she was a malignant narcissist/sociopath after his father died while they

were on vacation in Europe. There is good evidence that his stepmom caused his

death; she didn't contact anyone in the states until three full days had passed,

she paid off the Austrian coroner so that they didn't do an autopsy, he had

recently changed his will to give her everything(he was a wealthy man) and she

had been bragging to her friends that she and her daughter couldn't wait for him

to snuff it so she could get her hands on all his money. She told a different

story about what happened to everyone she talked to. It made for an interesting

funeral...

>

> This stuff doesn't just happen to people on Dateline or 20/20. It happens to

people like us, who have the bad luck to be related to or involved with Cluster

B PDs...the worst of which seem to have absolutely no conscience.

>

> Cruelty to animals and children is a big red flag that an individual is

capable of criminal acts.

>

> RT

>

>

>

>

> > Its not only cruel its totally weird. Not only did she not return the

> > blanket but she seemed to see returning the blanket as a gift...not as

> > something that you would just do because you want your granddaughter to have

> > her blanket. Was there any special significance to the blanket? You said it

> > was handmade especially for her. Could your nada have had some reason for

> > keeping it away from her?

> >

> > The other thing that seems weird to me, and I know Im not the only person

> > like this, but when I get someone a gift...particularly something I know

> > they really want I am sooooo excited to give it to them I can barely wait

> > for the gift giving occasion to arrive.

> >

> > This story is just weird no matter how you slice it.

> >

> > Sidebar: My nada did something similar to me when I was in Jr. High. She

> > witheld some sports equiptment that I needed for months so that she could

> > give it to me as a christmas gift. Nevermind that for months I was waiting

> > on this thing, calling to see if it was ready, dealing with my coach who was

> > impatient for me to have the proper equiptment, and literally risking my

> > bodily injury without it. She seemed surprised that I was upset about

> > that...

> >

>