Re: It's perfect Nada, isn't it !?!

[Guest guest]

why do it ?? You're busy and have other things to do...it's not your

responsibility to cart her around places, that's what taxi's are for.. why

is her car in the shop ? didn't she KNOW she had this appointment??

couldn't the car have waited another day ? she'll keep doing this to you

because you keep allowing her to...

Jackie

Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

" I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am.

Call me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

1) I have work deadlines.

2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

3) It's MY birthday.

I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

Lynnette

[Guest guest]

what Jackie said. tell her its your birthday and you have plans. or tell her

you didn't get the messege until it was too late. don't let her ruin your

day.

>

>

> why do it ?? You're busy and have other things to do...it's not your

> responsibility to cart her around places, that's what taxi's are for.. why

> is her car in the shop ? didn't she KNOW she had this appointment??

> couldn't the car have waited another day ? she'll keep doing this to you

> because you keep allowing her to...

>

> Jackie

>

>

> Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

>

> I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

>

> " I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

>

> really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am.

> Call me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

>

> 1) I have work deadlines.

> 2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

> 3) It's MY birthday.

>

> I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

> convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

> really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

>

> Lynnette

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lynette - You knew this would happen! You SAID this would happen! You are -

Nostradamus!! (Don't they have cabs where you live?) -

>

> Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

>

> I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

>

> " I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am. Call

me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

>

> 1) I have work deadlines.

> 2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

> 3) It's MY birthday.

>

> I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

P.S. - Happy Birthday!!!

> >

> > Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

> >

> > I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

> >

> > " I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am. Call

me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

> >

> > 1) I have work deadlines.

> > 2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

> > 3) It's MY birthday.

> >

> > I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Ok, update...

#1 - I just spoke with her and told her NO... she's going to have to cancel.

#2 - Her car has been 'acting funny' for weeks... but she's been driving it

anyway and came to town Tues pm... now it's at dad's mechanic's shop (remember,

she divorced him 15 years ago? And hates him? He gives her $ to keep her out

of my hair for now... Twisted....) She expects HIM to pay the 2k to get it

fixed. He won't/can't on this one. It's gonna be a HUGE DEAL.

#3 - Her Dr's office is 1 hour each way... that's a minimum of a 3 hour

commitment provided they're not running late, etc. Ridiculous to expect other

people to drop their schedules for your mechanical failures....

#4 - She found a new place to live (3rd move in 12 months)... $165 less than

where she is " with a pool, etc...it's soooooooo incredible " blahblahblah... so

I'm thinkin.... that $165 can be a car payment. Logical? You bet. Will it

happen? NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS.

Add a teen hormone freak out into the mix and it's been a great start to a long,

long day.

Lynnette

>

> Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

>

> I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

>

> " I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am. Call

me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

>

> 1) I have work deadlines.

> 2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

> 3) It's MY birthday.

>

> I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

Good for you, Lynette! You should be proud of yourself for resisting the

compulsion to rescue nada! High-five for overcoming the brainwashing!!

))))smak!(((( That is a very good birthday present to yourself, I'm glad for

you.

best wishes!

-Annie

> >

> > Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

> >

> > I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

> >

> > " I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am. Call

me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

> >

> > 1) I have work deadlines.

> > 2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

> > 3) It's MY birthday.

> >

> > I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

[Guest guest]

First of all - Happy Birthday! Hope is it/was wonderful!

Second of all, thank goodness you said NO. Way to Go! High Fiver!

Third, your nada must really be a piece of work if she can get medicare to pay

for an eye lift. And there are people with no health care. Sheesh.

Suzy

[Guest guest]

And one more thing - do report in. I'm guessing she finds a way to make that

appt. anyway!

>

> Suzy

>

[Guest guest]

Lynette,

Happy Birthday! A nada plus teen hormones ... a mix from hell! So sorry. You are

an amazing woman, my friend.

Sincerely,

[Guest guest]

As therapist has mentioned more than once, " It's a wonder you don't drink or do

drugs. If you did, no one really could blame you. "

Well... gee...

Lynnette

>

> Lynette,

> Happy Birthday! A nada plus teen hormones ... a mix from hell! So sorry. You

are an amazing woman, my friend.

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

[Guest guest]

It's 1140am. The appt for was 1120. As far as I know she cancelled. How can I

tell? She's stalking me on yahoo messenger and facebook.

And the gifts keep on comin'

Lynnette

>

> And one more thing - do report in. I'm guessing she finds a way to make that

appt. anyway!

> >

> > Suzy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

LYNNETTE,

I HAD A THERAPIST TELL ME THE SAME THING. WHEN I'M HAVING A BAD DAY WITH NADA

AND I HAVE A DRINK AND I MIGHT JOKE AND SAY " AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I HAVE A

DRINK " ALL OF MY FRIENDS ALL MOST AT THE SAME TIME SAY " NO, NO WE DON'T " LOL. I

HAVE ONE OF THOSE NADAS THAT ACTS LIKE A 15 YEAR OLD MEAN GIRL SO MY SYMPATHY IS

WITH YOU. I KNOW HOW THEY CAN PLAY YOU THEY DO IT LIKE TEENAGERS AND THEY GET

REALLY GOOD AT IT. THEY GET YOU BEFORE YOU SEE IT COMEING SOMETIMES. IT IS A MIX

FROM HELL. HANG IN THERE.

KATIE

Re: It's perfect Nada, isn't it !?!

As therapist has mentioned more than once, " It's a wonder you don't drink or

do drugs. If you did, no one really could blame you. "

Well... gee...

Lynnette

>

> Lynette,

> Happy Birthday! A nada plus teen hormones ... a mix from hell! So sorry. You

are an amazing woman, my friend.

>

> Sincerely,

>

>

[Guest guest]

I've got to agree with Jackie. Don't do it. If you stop doing things for her,

she'll stop expecting it.

>

> why do it ?? You're busy and have other things to do...it's not your

> responsibility to cart her around places, that's what taxi's are for.. why

> is her car in the shop ? didn't she KNOW she had this appointment??

> couldn't the car have waited another day ? she'll keep doing this to you

> because you keep allowing her to...

>

> Jackie

>

>

>

> Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

>

> I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

>

> " I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

> really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am.

> Call me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

>

> 1) I have work deadlines.

> 2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

> 3) It's MY birthday.

>

> I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

> convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

> really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

She probably told them she can't see due to her eyelids sagging.

Happy B-day Lynette! Great job on saying no- did it feel empowering?

>

> First of all - Happy Birthday! Hope is it/was wonderful!

>

> Second of all, thank goodness you said NO. Way to Go! High Fiver!

>

> Third, your nada must really be a piece of work if she can get medicare to pay

for an eye lift. And there are people with no health care. Sheesh.

>

> Suzy

>

[Guest guest]

I mean Lynnette- sorry I didn't mean to spell your name wrong!

> >

> > First of all - Happy Birthday! Hope is it/was wonderful!

> >

> > Second of all, thank goodness you said NO. Way to Go! High Fiver!

> >

> > Third, your nada must really be a piece of work if she can get medicare to

pay for an eye lift. And there are people with no health care. Sheesh.

> >

> > Suzy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Lynnette - Wait - she drove a sick car to your town, but her appointment is in

another town? You mean she wanted you to drive her BACK to her town for the

appointment? Why didn't she just stay THERE?? And something Abby said has me

curious - exactly how saggy are your mother's eyelids?? (on a scale of one to

ten?)

If it's any comfort, there are now several people on-line who are making fun of

your Nada. As to the teenager - send him to his room until it's time to mow the

lawn. You have enough to contend with on your birthday. -

> >

> > Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

> >

> > I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

> >

> > " I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am. Call

me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

> >

> > 1) I have work deadlines.

> > 2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

> > 3) It's MY birthday.

> >

> > I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

[Guest guest]

A failure to plan on your part does not constitute a crisis on my part. I know

it would really help you, but on such short notice, it would create a crisis for

Me if I do it.

See, you can do it. You can even use the words, no charge. That is just typical

nada BPD BS.

In that it is not a life threatening, or health threatening emergency beyond her

control, you truly have no obligation to drop everything and let your life go to

crap to bail her out yet again.

If her eye lift. ( eye lift? EYE LIFT? ) doesnt get done now, it can be done

later. She can call the Dr and reschedule her preop , since her car is in the

shop. Or she can find out when it would be convenient for YOU to help her, and

reschedule accordingly.

If life as a KO has taught us nothing else, it is that there will always be a

crisis in nada s life, she will always need more than we are willing to give,

and she will always ask in such a way that we feel guilty to say no, resentful

to say yes.

Since nada loaded us with guilt all our lives, whats a few more ounces more or

less? Say no.

and . Happy Birthday. I m sure nada remembered to wish you a happy birthday.

Doug

>

> Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

>

> I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

>

> " I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am. Call

me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

>

> 1) I have work deadlines.

> 2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

> 3) It's MY birthday.

>

> I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

Daily Re-Cap... get your popcorn!

830am: I didn't take her. She cancelled.

9am: Began IM/FaceBook stalking. I ignored her.

1230pm: She IM'd me with huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY wishes.

1pm: I spoke with her for 15 minutes. Tells me that " MY " trusted aunt is " up to

her usual games.... " Akward.

430pm: She comes to FB game.

445pm: She tells me that HER DR is FLABBERGHASTED that " I'm " getting a therapist

and SHE isn't, " That's NOT how it works around here. The help is for YOU " M " ,

not " Her " . " Supposedly Nada said, " well it's worked for US " and her DR is going

to " Get this taken care of right..... " Well, all I said, is " You were offered

therapy 3x and turned it down. You weren't jilted out of anything. " Nada:

" That's NOT TRUE and NOT how I remember it.... " What I didn't say: " How ironic

since it was YOUR DR. AAA who gave ME the therapist in the first place. You're

lying. "

5pm: Reality of life with a mentally ill monther hits hard during teen's

football game. I watch the game and be a good mother.

645pm: AT Dad's. I email therapist asking her to call me Friday to clarify.

Explain that I'm having a difficult time with Nada's truth/reality weaving.

7pm: Dinner @ DAd's. She's pushing and pushing for a huge chunk of time this

weekend for 'my' attention. And starts to go off again on therapist (remember,

this is a woman she's claimed she met, but she hated. She's tried to get her

fired before. She's always been MAD that I got to see her... I don't trust Nada

farther than I can throw her on this issue.) I ignored her.

8pm: Home.

Other B-day stuff was weird and what not... I asked to have things postponed til

the weekend... weekdays are just too busy. SO and I are rocky but he's been

seeing a therapist of his own for 2 months to get some control on his stuff so

I'm waiting it out for awhile.

And... Nada's car will end up costing Dad $300 - $400 to fix... and what he

doesn't know is that her match.com man is coming to pick her up at his house on

Sat to take her to Palm Springs for a week... I told her they are NOT leaving

from my house and expecting my teen to keep her secrets.

Happy Birthday.

Lynnette

>

> Nada whirled into town Tuesday night....drama, drama, drama....

>

> I woke up a bit ago (short bit, 15 minutes) to this IM on my computer...

>

> " I know you're REALLY BUSY right now but my car is in the shop and it would

really REALLY help ME if you would take me to a Dr's appt today at 11am. Call

me FIRST THING in the morning.... "

>

> 1) I have work deadlines.

> 2) My son has a football game this afternoon.

> 3) It's MY birthday.

>

> I'll end up driving her because it's a preop appt for an eye-lift she's

convinced Medicade she 'needs' and there is NO ONE else to do it... but

really.... I'd be mad if it werent' " so BPD Nada! "

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

Lynnette - I think you need to declare another birthday for yourself. This one

certainly sucked, and Nada made NO effort to be celebratory or even civil. You

should get a do-over. -

[Guest guest]

I agree! Birthday Scene, Take 2... roll 'em!

-Annie

>

> Lynnette - I think you need to declare another birthday for yourself. This

one certainly sucked, and Nada made NO effort to be celebratory or even civil.

You should get a do-over. -

>

[Guest guest]

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW?

I woke up WAY more depressed than when I went to bed.

Lynnette

> >

> > Lynnette - I think you need to declare another birthday for yourself. This

one certainly sucked, and Nada made NO effort to be celebratory or even civil.

You should get a do-over. -

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Ditch everybody - your nada, your SO, your hormonal teen, work, grab a " positive

energy " friend (or just yourself) and take a day just for you. YES YOU CAN!

They don't like it, tough. World won't end.

You deserve a break, today, so get up and get away.........Sorry, pretty lame,

but you get the picture.

Suzy

P.S. And I so don't get why you're gonna let your dad foot the bill for your

nada's car - while she gets whisked away for the weekend. Not tell him? Why

the H---- not? It's time he got off the hook, too.

[Guest guest]

It's an emotional hangover. It happens to me too.

Hugs to you.

Abby

> > >

> > > Lynnette - I think you need to declare another birthday for yourself.

This one certainly sucked, and Nada made NO effort to be celebratory or even

civil. You should get a do-over. -

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry Lynnette. IM me on yahoo anytime you want to chat.

In a message dated 9/18/2009 10:52:46 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

h_l_maston@... writes:

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHO

I woke up WAY more depressed than when I went to bed.

Lynnette

--- In _WTOAdultChildren1@WTOAdultChilWTO_

(mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 ) , " anuria67854 " <anuria-67854@anu>

wrote:

>

> I agree! Birthday Scene, Take 2... roll 'em!

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > Lynnette - I think you need to declare another birthday for yourself.

This one certainly sucked, and Nada made NO effort to be celebratory or

even civil. You should get a do-over. -

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I've toyed with this for a long time (not the first time she's done this.)

ly, I'm avoiding both of them with this. It will come to head when this

man picks her up at his house. I'm NOT going to be around.

Lynnette

>

> Ditch everybody - your nada, your SO, your hormonal teen, work, grab a

" positive energy " friend (or just yourself) and take a day just for you. YES

YOU CAN! They don't like it, tough. World won't end.

>

> You deserve a break, today, so get up and get away.........Sorry, pretty lame,

but you get the picture.

>

> Suzy

>

> P.S. And I so don't get why you're gonna let your dad foot the bill for your

nada's car - while she gets whisked away for the weekend. Not tell him? Why

the H---- not? It's time he got off the hook, too.

>