Guest guest Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 What I desire is normalcy with myself and how I relate to my family of origin. I know I cannot have that, but the desire is still there. More and more I realize that all I have in my relationship with my foo-ey family is a series of Catch-22's. If it were only my nada at home, I MAY have given up on contact long ago. The tough part of all this, is that I feel I have a dad who really is worth redeeming. I do not like to see him as being a dishrag. My dad is 83, and I find that as I consider his mortality, I want to know him MORE now, rather than less. Catch-22. I am powerless. And as I feel the Catch-22's in my gut, I feel less and less inclined to keep trying to make things different. Nada is in the way, in that she monopolizes both parental relationships. Course, I do know my dad is an adult and the phone works both ways. I mean, he CAN call me. It doesn't work the same way for me, for when I call, dad does not pick up the phone, nada does. And those conversations with nada have a tendency to go WORSE than the ones nada initiates. What I have power over is that I have made a commitment to working on boundaries with my nada. In the meantime, I am going to spend my energy making honest attempts at communicating with normal people... I am going to see if I can write regular letters to my mom-in-law and my mom's surviving full-sibling. Both are people who have made positive differences to me in my adult life. Best, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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