New Here

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first day here. Really it's day 1 of being able to put a title on

the way my mom acts. I'm 30 years old. (I don't know why I;m jumping the gun on

that, I'm not 30 until the 29th!)

I've been seeing a wonderful psychologist for a about a year now to work on my

depression. I talk to her about my a lot. Yesterday my psychologist handed me

the DSM-IV opened to the page for BPD. She said tell me if any of these

characteristics fit your mom. There was a list of 9. All of them fit. In

fact, they fit perfectly.

This all came after a major blow out with my mom last Thursday. I've had a

sleepless couple of weeks due to the stress with her. So early this morning I

started Googling BPD and support groups. I found this one.

As soon as I joined and started reviewing the topics I felt at home.

Why do I feel so bad for her?

It's like talking to a child.

Go Potty. We're moving.

It seems that my mom has been getting worse and worse, and the less I conform to

what she wants and call her out on her actions, the more abusive she is. I'm

sure you all know the routine, though.

Just thought I would introduce myself here. I look forward to reading many

posts.

[Guest guest]

welcome !! my nada ( not a mother) fit perfectly into 8 of the

9...I'm not so sure she's suicidal, although she does threaten to kill

herself ( or all of us !) I think that's more for dramatic effect. She's

too much the queen to really go through with it...you will find some nadas

are more like yours, others not so much...

Jackie

Hi Everyone,

This is my first day here. Really it's day 1 of being able to put a title

on the way my mom acts. I'm 30 years old. (I don't know why I;m jumping the

gun on that, I'm not 30 until the 29th!)

I've been seeing a wonderful psychologist for a about a year now to work on

my depression. I talk to her about my a lot. Yesterday my psychologist

handed me the DSM-IV opened to the page for BPD. She said tell me if any of

these characteristics fit your mom. There was a list of 9. All of them

fit. In fact, they fit perfectly.

This all came after a major blow out with my mom last Thursday. I've had a

sleepless couple of weeks due to the stress with her. So early this morning

I started Googling BPD and support groups. I found this one.

As soon as I joined and started reviewing the topics I felt at home.

Why do I feel so bad for her?

It's like talking to a child.

Go Potty. We're moving.

It seems that my mom has been getting worse and worse, and the less I

conform to what she wants and call her out on her actions, the more abusive

she is. I'm sure you all know the routine, though.

Just thought I would introduce myself here. I look forward to reading many

posts.

[Guest guest]

Welcome, .

Your posting struck a chord with me, maybe because the things you referred to

are posts that I wrote ;o)

Your comment: " I've been seeing a wonderful psychologist for a about a year now

to work on my depression. I talk to her about my a lot. Yesterday my

psychologist handed me the DSM-IV opened to the page for BPD. She said tell me

if any of these characteristics fit your mom. There was a list of 9. All of them

fit. In fact, they fit perfectly. "

This is exactly what happened/was said to me, by a therapist, on visit 3. I was

given the therapist by one of Nada's Dr.s after Nada went 5150 (CA's " lock 'em

up in a Psych Ward " code) in a Dr's office. FINALLY someone in a position to

affect change, did. God bless them all!!! And, my Nada was 9:9. You lucky Dog

you!!!

The other things you mentioned:

As soon as I joined and started reviewing the topics I felt at home.

Why do I feel so bad for her?

It's like talking to a child. (mine)

Go Potty. We're moving. (mine)

Well, yep... we have a winner!

What you will find on this group is the validation that what we experienced

with/though/because of these BPD people is all so similar. The stories, the

outcomes, the traits... it's hauntingly the same. That couldn't happen if you

just threw a random group of strangers together to chat... it's helped me

tremendously to realize BPD is a 'thing' with a definable set of criteria that

impact a sane person the same... in measurable quantities and with predictable

outcomes.

You will never EVER again think, " it's just me... "

Welcome,

Lynnette

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> This is my first day here. Really it's day 1 of being able to put a title on

the way my mom acts. I'm 30 years old. (I don't know why I;m jumping the gun on

that, I'm not 30 until the 29th!)

>

> I've been seeing a wonderful psychologist for a about a year now to work on my

depression. I talk to her about my a lot. Yesterday my psychologist handed me

the DSM-IV opened to the page for BPD. She said tell me if any of these

characteristics fit your mom. There was a list of 9. All of them fit. In

fact, they fit perfectly.

>

> This all came after a major blow out with my mom last Thursday. I've had a

sleepless couple of weeks due to the stress with her. So early this morning I

started Googling BPD and support groups. I found this one.

>

> As soon as I joined and started reviewing the topics I felt at home.

>

> Why do I feel so bad for her?

> It's like talking to a child.

> Go Potty. We're moving.

>

> It seems that my mom has been getting worse and worse, and the less I conform

to what she wants and call her out on her actions, the more abusive she is. I'm

sure you all know the routine, though.

>

> Just thought I would introduce myself here. I look forward to reading many

posts.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

and ,

Glad you found this listserve. There are good people here. Hope we can be of

encouragment to you.

Sincerely,

[Guest guest]

Thanks all for welcoming me.

Lynnette - You said you also learned from your own therapist about your Nada's

diagnoses of BP. What did you do with that info? Did you keep it to yourself

and those close to you or did you tell you Nada?

I'm split. At times my Nada seems so receptive to constructive critisism and

advice. But, in the end, it always appears to fall on deaf ears. In reality, I

think she just likes the doting and attention, but when it comes to actually

affecting change - fat chance. My Nada doesn't want to do anything for herself.

She won't even drive herself to meet us for dinner, we have to pick her up.

Even if the place is less then a mile away from her!

What did you do? Anyone else have a similiar experience?

Thx - S

> >

> > Hi Everyone,

> >

> > This is my first day here. Really it's day 1 of being able to put a title

on the way my mom acts. I'm 30 years old. (I don't know why I;m jumping the gun

on that, I'm not 30 until the 29th!)

> >

> > I've been seeing a wonderful psychologist for a about a year now to work on

my depression. I talk to her about my a lot. Yesterday my psychologist handed

me the DSM-IV opened to the page for BPD. She said tell me if any of these

characteristics fit your mom. There was a list of 9. All of them fit. In

fact, they fit perfectly.

> >

> > This all came after a major blow out with my mom last Thursday. I've had a

sleepless couple of weeks due to the stress with her. So early this morning I

started Googling BPD and support groups. I found this one.

> >

> > As soon as I joined and started reviewing the topics I felt at home.

> >

> > Why do I feel so bad for her?

> > It's like talking to a child.

> > Go Potty. We're moving.

> >

> > It seems that my mom has been getting worse and worse, and the less I

conform to what she wants and call her out on her actions, the more abusive she

is. I'm sure you all know the routine, though.

> >

> > Just thought I would introduce myself here. I look forward to reading many

posts.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My therapist put the links together with input from me and Nada's Dr's.... I

refuse to tell Nada...what would be the point? If someone else does, fine...

Nada is already very VERY upset that I get a therapist 'for free' from HER

Dr's... I've told her why (leaving the diagnosis part out) and she just rages.

I don't talk about it anymore.

So... " officially " Nada hasn't been diagnosed 'to her face. "

Lynnette

> > >

> > > Hi Everyone,

> > >

> > > This is my first day here. Really it's day 1 of being able to put a title

on the way my mom acts. I'm 30 years old. (I don't know why I;m jumping the gun

on that, I'm not 30 until the 29th!)

> > >

> > > I've been seeing a wonderful psychologist for a about a year now to work

on my depression. I talk to her about my a lot. Yesterday my psychologist

handed me the DSM-IV opened to the page for BPD. She said tell me if any of

these characteristics fit your mom. There was a list of 9. All of them fit.

In fact, they fit perfectly.

> > >

> > > This all came after a major blow out with my mom last Thursday. I've had

a sleepless couple of weeks due to the stress with her. So early this morning I

started Googling BPD and support groups. I found this one.

> > >

> > > As soon as I joined and started reviewing the topics I felt at home.

> > >

> > > Why do I feel so bad for her?

> > > It's like talking to a child.

> > > Go Potty. We're moving.

> > >

> > > It seems that my mom has been getting worse and worse, and the less I

conform to what she wants and call her out on her actions, the more abusive she

is. I'm sure you all know the routine, though.

> > >

> > > Just thought I would introduce myself here. I look forward to reading

many posts.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You are very blessed to have a 15 yr old son that still wants to spend time with

his mom. I know how exhausting it is to deal with fibro and all that comes with

it. Additional pains seem to add to the list, we don't heal as well as we used

to.

I'm not sure what you and your son enjoy doing but now is a good time to find

other activities that don't require so much physical stress.

My son loved to collect things and we did a lot of research together. He had

many interests. We used to have long conversations about things I knew little

about but learned much so I could talk with him. Of all my children, I missed

him most being gone from home.

I know his wife has a good husband and her children have had a great father to

grow up with.

Just think of the memories you can build doing what you can and try not to dwell

on things you can't do.

Jennette

>Swannie wrote:

>I don't like to whine but I wanted to be honest. My 15 year old son says that

I'm always saying that I hurt. He's right. It's frustrating to not be able to

do all the things he wants me to do with him. OK. Can someone tell me please

that I'm not alone?

[Guest guest]

>

> I'm really struggling right now because I sprained my ankle two days after

Christmas and just found out from my doctor today that it was actually the worst

type of sprain and I'm going to have to wear the walking boot/cast for another 4

weeks. Wearing that thing makes my gait odd and then my hip starts hurting.

>

Dear Swanie:

you are most definately not alone and i'm so so glad you are here. i also have

fibro (well the diagnosis is in question but that's another story for another

day) and i can't imagine the added pain of a badly sprained ankle and a walking

boot! would it be possible for you to call your doctor or go in for a visit and

explain why the boot is causing you so much additional pain? surely he would

understand and be able to recommend something else. do you feel you could use

crutches? there has to be something other than the evil boot that they could

come up!

let us know how you are doing, please? there's a whole lot of fine caring folks

here that have your best interests at heart and wish you as many pain free (or

as close as we can get) days as possible, me included. and i'm hear to listen

if you need to vent.

take care, dear

chelsea