To have contact or not?

[Guest guest]

It's been a while since I've posted anything on this board, mainly b/c I'm NC

w/Nada and living pretty happily this way. I've been NC for about 1 1/2 yrs and

while most days I'm happy with this decision, some days I question it.

A little background -my parents divorced when I was 8yrs, my dad never came

around after that. Nada always said if I ever tried to contact him she'd disown

me. Well, 2 summers ago I decided to find my Dad, I found him, told my nada and

she pretty much disowned me. I tried to talk about it w/my sister but she raged

at me so much that I decided to block both sisters and nadas phone numbers.

Soon after that my Dad totally bailed on me too, so now I'm left with no family

on my side. 2 relatives from nada's family have reached out to me but I'm too

afraid to contact them b/c it's easier I think having no contact at all.

I have a wonderful loving husband and two young children, really a great family

of my own, but have no contact with extended family. Husbands family is

dispersed and odd and we don't have much contact with them.

The thing is I was at my therepist right after nada " disowned me " and my

therepist let it slip that my mother was borderline. She hadn't told me before

b/c she didn't think it was right to diagose someone she'd never met but finally

admitted it sounded like she was very much borderline. So I never had a

relationship with my mother, knowing that she is borderline.

I never really stood up to her the way I should have, and part of me wonders if

I should reconsider no contact with her to prove to myself that I am strong

enough now to stand up to her. I think maybe it would be really good for me to

be able to have a relationship with her where I made some boundaries and did

something I didn't think was possible for me to do. Also, not having any

extended family really stinks sometimes. Not having extended family makes me

feel isolated from others b/c no matter how close my friends are, they will

always spend holidays with their families and will always put family first. And,

no one really 'gets it'.

That being said, I then go back to thinking how free I've felt since being NC

and how nice it has been not having ANY DRAMA!! I only ever felt put down by my

sister and mother and honestly don't miss their company at all. There isn't

anyone in my family that I can trust to have contact with that won't share what

I tell them with nada.

I'm pretty confused still about this all, and would love to hear from others who

have remained NC and are entirely happy and those who are in contact and are

happy.

Thank you!