Anyone want to scream from listening to nada complain?

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I don't post very often, but I read the posts every day. I need to vent and I

wondered whether others have similar experiences. My nada fits into various of

the BPD " types " at different times -- waif, witch, hermit, etc. She has various

chronic illnesses (arthritis, irritable bowel, etc.) and she also has had cancer

for several years. She is undergoing treatment for the cancer, and the

treatments are keeping it under control. She's actually doing pretty well with

the cancer - it has not spread during the 2 1/2 years she has had it.

But she has such a horrible attitude! She hardly goes out except to go to

doctors, I try to plan social events for her and her partner to do with me and

my immediate family (husband and kids), but she almost always cancels them

because she " doesn't feel well, " and she just complains constantly about how

sick she is and how she wishes she were dead already and how she has nothing in

her life, etc. Objectively, she really isn't that sick, but she treats every

stomach ache as if it's a major illness, and uses it as a reason not to get out

of bed or eat. Then she complains that she's weak and tired. Well, yes, you

are weak and tired because you aren't eating and you aren't getting exercise or

fresh air! I know she's depressed, but she has regular therapy with a

psychiatrist and she is on anti-depressants. There is also a component that you

have to try to live life! She really doesn't try to do enjoyable things most of

the time -- she just complains and complains about how miserable and sick she is

and won't get out of bed. There is only so much that therapy and

anti-depressants can do; the person also has to try to get involved in daily

enjoyable activities. But I feel like she hardly tries most of the time. She

just keeps complaining. It makes me dread talking to her, and when I do talk to

her it makes me want to scream!

Anyone else have a nada that acts like this? Any advice?

Thanks for any feedback -- I am feeling pretty discouraged and anxious about

this today.

Mousemaxine2010