Guest guest Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Nada has been 'in town' since March 30 and isn't leaving til the 5th of May... She had an eye-lift (compliments of Medicaid) and has just " been here " .... staying at my step dad's - 4 miles down the road whom she divorced in 95... long dysfunctional story. Lately she's been on her " Glenda the Good Witch " behaviour so I've spent some time with her as I could. But yesterday her colors came back on in full force. My SO, my work, my writing ~ all these things she plowed through and was trying everything she could think of to push the 'insecurity/doubt' switch in me and my perceptions and abilities. She said things like, " Are you SURE you won't get bored with SO after awhile... for what I know - although *I* have never met him - he's SO MELLOW....? " Which in Nada speak is " YOU can't handle MELLOW cause *I* can't handle MELLOW and you are me.... " One of those things that non KO's wouldn't get... The list there goes on. For the most part, I was able to just detatch and not engage there. Then, realizing she had hit a wall, she went after " Memories of my childhood. " She's rewriting the past again and turning it into a, " Magical adventure of your childhood.... " When I stand up for myself, she then takes the comments to FaceBook in backhanded little digs. Again, nothing most people would see evil or bad...but the KO knows what the KO knows... The This last week was a huge week of guest lecturing at a number of universities and I have 3 huge deadlines ~ prep work due and presentations due ~ M/T/W of this week, too. I can get it all done, I'm WonderWoman after-all... but my soul is weary. SO thinks I need to 'take a sick day'... I can't. Not even remotely possible. Makes me so FURIOUS that I can't have a consistently nice, normal, mom... what WOULD that have been like? What would it have been like to grow up not always doubting your perceptions of reality? Not, at 41 years old, wondering if what you knew and know today is real or in that ever changing world of Nada-induced house of mirrors? Lynnette - Emotionally disengaging to get work done... hope I can find my way back this time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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