Classic Borderline Friend

[Guest guest]

I hate BPD as much as I hate cancer and child abuse and animal abuse and

anything horrible you can imagine.

I wish I could write out the dynamics of my very close friend, but it

would be an entire book and I'd lose the reader. Suffice it to say, I now have

NO doubt she is a classic borderline. She has symptoms that are literally

textbook. Her kids are now 17, 19, and 20.

Her daughter (17) has recently been diagnosed as bipolar. This child is

borderline, not bipolar. The doctor who saw her and my friend (), told

them both they were bipolar. This doctor doesn't even know them.

wants no help. She cheated on her ex-husband so many times he

divorced her. Her daughter is in chaos and her 18 year old son has started

drinking really badly. Her daughter has been date raped, is cutting herself, and

is suicidal.

called me a few minutes ago RANTING because she is 'home alone.' Her

boyfriend has been searching for a job for 2 freaking years and finally

gets one as a correctional officer in a state prison. VERY good job and

is getting ready to cause him to lose it because of her

borderline-cant-tell-anyone-loves-her-if-they-arent-in-the-same-room meltdown.

He is out of

town for 3 weeks of training. Not 3 months. Not 3 years. 3 WEEKS....and

she is freaking out about being alone. She's now upset because her daughter

has said she is going to live with her father. He is even home on weekends

for the next 3 weeks!! It's crazy!

has once again caused a self fulfilled prophecy of abandonment by

pushing everyone away. She told me she was going to drive off and hit a tree.

She was crying and heard nothing I said to her. She was saying the f-word

every other word (which is not like her) and was babbling so fast and with

such drama that I put her on speakerphone so my husband could hear and his

mouth dropped. She was sounding almost psychotic.

This has been going on for about a 3 years.

I love her dearly....I really, really do, but this is ri.dic.u.lous.

I will support her no matter what because that's what friends do, but she

knows how I feel about her behavior recently. She stood by me when I

overdosed twice and when I was having a really hard time over the summer and

she's one of the few people who know I have DID.

I set her up with a Christian counselor I once saw who was going to see her

for free. Twice she was a no-show to the appointment. I can't ask my

ex-counselor/friend to do it again. She may not be the perfect therapist for

someone with BPD, but has no money and she is better than no therapy at

all in my opinion.

<sigh> I just wanted to vent.

was sexually abused as a child and from the things she has said, I

think her mother is BPD too. I feel for her because I love her, but I am

also weary of things always being about her and her drama and I wonder where

the real friendship is in this relationship. I won't abandon her as a

friend. I wouldn't do that to anyone, BPD or not...but is on such a self

destructive path. She is messing with married men (2 years ago a wife found

out and shot and killed herself and shot her husband who was cheating with

(he lived.))

I don't even know that borderlines can be true friends, but it is

heartbreaking to be friends with someone and then to find out they're

borderline. I

miss the person I thought she was.

I miss the fun . The that didn't cheat with married men, who

went to church with me, who went shopping with me, who went out to lunch

with all the girls. No one in our circle of friends will speak to her except

me. They all think I am the nutso one for continuing my friendship with her,

but I truly don't abandon people unless they hurt me in some way.

is hurting herself...and it's hard to watch. She's also hurting her children

and she doesn't care. She doesn't see it. Her daughter has turned for the

worse and her 2 boys aren't far behind.

It's hard to watch this family crash and burn. I want so much to get her

daughter aside and spend time with her and talk to her, but I am not sure

what to do. One good thing is that she is going to live with her father.

Although I'm not sure it's much better.

Sorry this is so long.

I would have loved for someone to step in and spend time with me and talk

to me when I was going through what I was with my mother, but I don't know

how to help . I want to. If you have suggestions, I'm open to them.