Guest guest Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 MY My nada too went into the hospital last Wed and is still there. She has been chronically ill for years and has had every test imaginable and nothing but IBS and supposedly mild COPD. Even when she came to visit to see my daughter who has autism perform in the Nutcracker, I had to take her to the emergency room because she is in so much pain. They can't find anything wrong with her and just discharge her with pain pills. And I can just see how much enjoyment she gets from being in the limelight. This sickly, negative, miserable 73 year old woman taking the limelight away from the highlight of the year of her special needs granddaughter. It is sickening to me. They put her in ICU because her breathing dropped and they couldn't perfom a test that she needed. So I am calling the hospital because I can't get a straight answer from nada due to the drugs and the lack of being direct and answering a question. So the hospital nurses tell me to talk to my brother-the golden child- who was in the hospital with her. FYI he lives 30 minutes away and hasn't talked to her and has never helped her do the lawn, fix things, even take out her trash because he is probably BPD and married a highly controlling BPD too. It makes me sick. My nada has always pitted us against each other. But both of my parents always let him off the hook. So even after all of this, she is not invited to their house for holidays and spends them alone, because he shows up at the hospital, it is like everything is ok. She then even barked the other day for both us calling and bothering her. When I call her out of obligation, she whines that no one calls her- the implication that I am no one. Yet I still feel the hurt and jealousy of my brother. He isn't a brother in any sense of the term. and i also still jump through hoops trying to win her approval. she was all worred about her taxes not getting them done. here she is in critical condition and she is worried about an immaterial amount of tax. so dutifully i do her extensions for her and crazily expecting appreciation! i guess i am better because at least i can realize what i am still doing. before i never knew why i felt depressed and unhappy. i guess it is a journey. What is ironic for my nada is that she did all the physical things like cooking, ironing and i thought she was the greatest mother ever. but there was absolute no emotional support or connection. everything was just forget it and shaming me......so she distracts herself by doing anything. busy work. can't sit still to watch a video tape of a grandchild's performance. now the final word is that her copd is so bad that she can't do for herself and will have to have help. she hates that and she hates just sitting.....what a way to go.... but i have been reading about boundaries and about the feelings. while it is a sad situation for her, it doesn't have to be for me but she will expect me to commiserate with her and even probably move close to her to take care of her. i moved 3000 miles away to escape BP ex #2 and there is no way i am going back. i married my mother twice. so all i can say now is thanks nada.....  This group has been so great for me. I take time everyday to go through the emails even though I am busy with work. Thanks everyone. Subject: nada in hospital To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Monday, April 19, 2010, 11:52 AM  My BPD mom went in the hospital early Saturday morning - with multiple things wrong with her health wise - she is still there and as far as I know is getting worse rather than better. She was diagnosed with cancer - Stage IV- four years ago and has many other health problems - congestive heart failure, uncontrolled diabetes, high blood pressure etc. As I've known more about BPD I find these health " crisis " situations hard to deal with (well they were difficult before I know about BPD too but I did not know why). It's hard to deal with an elderly parent who is terminally ill period - put BPD on top of that and I often feel paralyzed. How do I know when it is urgent? (She makes everything sound urgent.). She is genuinely physically sick yet the ways in which she manipulates that and uses it to get people to do her bidding makes me sick. I have no idea how this will pan out, but for now I am staying away other than occassional phone calls. There have been many times I thought she was dying, but she just keeps going. I'm sure the hospital folks (who she is just oh so happy with right now because they are doing her bidding as she wants them too) are wondering why her daughter is not running to the side of this poor sick sweet lady. Oh well. I know the struggles won't be over after she dies, but I'm really ready for some relief from the ever present reality of trying to figure out how to care for someone who is terminally ill and mentally ill, but who has fooled so many people into thinking she is just a sick lonely older woman. MY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 I think putting the responsibility on her to make the complaint is a smart thing to do, you don't want to get dragged into something where she fabricates an allegation to get attention. If she is looking for the attention, best she do it herself and not re-route accountability for her accusations on to you and your spouse. Elle > > Update on nada since she took her overdose. Went to see her in > hospital today and she was in the " vulnerable victim " mode. She > clung on to me and kept jumping in a startled manner every time > somebody moved. > > She also kept repeating an allegation which she first made when she > was on the same psychiatric ward 2 years ago (after which I went nc > with her for 2 years following a spate of nasty answerphone > messages). She keeps saying the charge nurse pushed her over leading > her to sustain a broken wrist. She did get a broken wrist, but she > kept going all wobbly on her feet (staff observed her doing this only > when she knew she was being watched) and I was told at the time that > whilst doing one of her " wobblies " she fell backwards and landed > awkwardly on her hand. > > She first made the " pushing " allegation 2 years ago and neither > myself or my husband believed it. It was obvious at the time that > she kept coming over " wobbly " because she was hoping we'd come > and " rescue " her (she made it clear she wanted to come and live near > us). We thought she was just trying to manipulate us into taking her > off the ward and bringing her to live near or with us (we live 2 > hours away from her). > > Now though, I'm starting to doubt myself and I'm wondering if there > is any truth to the allegation. She has also mentioned it to at > least one of her neighbours. I questioned her on it today when she > brought it up, and I said that if it was true then she must make a > complaint as there's nothing anyone can do if she just keeps saying > it and not doing anything about it. She immediately said she didn't > want me to make a complaint. I then told her it was unfair of her to > keep telling me it happened if she then doesn't want me to make a > complaint. She was very apologetic, but in what I feel was quite an > insincere way - as though she was doing it for effect. > > What does everyone else think? Has anyone else had experiences of > this sort with their nada/fada? > > Best wishes, Jeanie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 Hey MY This was a battle I fought for years, both with my grandmother and later with nada. Grandma was addicted to codiene and would use trips to the ER for drug seeking. Nada and sister managed to be absent and unreachable after I moved back to the area. Nada always had complainsts, was always convinced she was a pitiful victim, that she was far sicker than any Dr ever told her, and made frequent trips to the ER to seek Xanix and Lortab. She was highly offended when they let her sit for hours and treated her as a drug seeker. I knew that every call from both of them would make me feel used, because it would be nothing. I also knew that day would finally come when it was for real. And they would die. And so they did, 20 years apart. I still battle the guilt at times, but it doesnt change the facts. They manipulated and used me. I resent the hell out of it. And they still eventually died. But they would have whether I played the game forever or not. Nada, in her final years, would go to the ER via ambulance, come home at 2 0r 3 in the morning by taxi, then casually complain to me about how much it cost her to do so. Once or twice I said You didnt call me to come get you and bring you home. Then she made it about how self sacrificing she was so as not to bother me with it. Of course, it that were true, she wouldnt try to guilt me into anything either. I finally just said well I m glad you have worked out a plan that works well for you. You cant win. You can either be manipulated forever by every Hoovering attempt to draw you in by faking sickness, or you can accept that one of the calls, finally, will be the fatal one. Even the little boy who cries wolf will eventually have a wolf come and eat him. But guess what? It s not your fault. Doug > > My BPD mom went in the hospital early Saturday morning - with multiple > things wrong with her health wise - she is still there and as far as I know > is getting worse rather than better. She was diagnosed with cancer - Stage > IV- four years ago and has many other health problems - congestive heart > failure, uncontrolled diabetes, high blood pressure etc. As I've known more > about BPD I find these health " crisis " situations hard to deal with (well > they were difficult before I know about BPD too but I did not know why). > It's hard to deal with an elderly parent who is terminally ill period - put > BPD on top of that and I often feel paralyzed. How do I know when it is > urgent? (She makes everything sound urgent.). She is genuinely physically > sick yet the ways in which she manipulates that and uses it to get people to > do her bidding makes me sick. > > I have no idea how this will pan out, but for now I am staying away other > than occassional phone calls. There have been many times I thought she was > dying, but she just keeps going. I'm sure the hospital folks (who she is > just oh so happy with right now because they are doing her bidding as she > wants them too) are wondering why her daughter is not running to the side of > this poor sick sweet lady. Oh well. > > I know the struggles won't be over after she dies, but I'm really ready for > some relief from the ever present reality of trying to figure out how to > care for someone who is terminally ill and mentally ill, but who has fooled > so many people into thinking she is just a sick lonely older woman. > > MY > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 Hospital stays and sickness are like a jackpot for the waif type. My nada is waif/witch and has been known for over dramatizing every ache and pain. She's had arthritic pain in her back/pelvis for YEARS and refuses to see a chiropractor or acupuncturist. Her Dr. gives her pain meds when it flares up but that's only a temporary fix and some of the meds made her very, very sick. Yet she still refuses to seek alternative help in spite of her friends, and my insistence that's it's effective and worth a try. This has been going on for YEARS, and i'm not kidding. On and on she groans about her pain.... ugh spare me! A few years ago we travelled overseas to see her nada (my grandnada) who had a dog. Well nada had developed an allergy to dogs over time and was discovering how bad it really was whilst staying in that house. Days and days past with her wheezing exaggeratedly, complaining, woe is me, on and on this went. The whole time I was suggesting alternate solutions for her but she just cried and ignored me, then claims that nobody cares about her. ARGHHHH!!! This is pretty classic BPD... and I don't care. > > Update on nada since she took her overdose. Went to see her in > hospital today and she was in the " vulnerable victim " mode. She > clung on to me and kept jumping in a startled manner every time > somebody moved. > > She also kept repeating an allegation which she first made when she > was on the same psychiatric ward 2 years ago (after which I went nc > with her for 2 years following a spate of nasty answerphone > messages). She keeps saying the charge nurse pushed her over leading > her to sustain a broken wrist. She did get a broken wrist, but she > kept going all wobbly on her feet (staff observed her doing this only > when she knew she was being watched) and I was told at the time that > whilst doing one of her " wobblies " she fell backwards and landed > awkwardly on her hand. > > She first made the " pushing " allegation 2 years ago and neither > myself or my husband believed it. It was obvious at the time that > she kept coming over " wobbly " because she was hoping we'd come > and " rescue " her (she made it clear she wanted to come and live near > us). We thought she was just trying to manipulate us into taking her > off the ward and bringing her to live near or with us (we live 2 > hours away from her). > > Now though, I'm starting to doubt myself and I'm wondering if there > is any truth to the allegation. She has also mentioned it to at > least one of her neighbours. I questioned her on it today when she > brought it up, and I said that if it was true then she must make a > complaint as there's nothing anyone can do if she just keeps saying > it and not doing anything about it. She immediately said she didn't > want me to make a complaint. I then told her it was unfair of her to > keep telling me it happened if she then doesn't want me to make a > complaint. She was very apologetic, but in what I feel was quite an > insincere way - as though she was doing it for effect. > > What does everyone else think? Has anyone else had experiences of > this sort with their nada/fada? > > Best wishes, Jeanie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 Dear Felicia A lot of what you wrote about resonates with me. The sickness and the *poor me* even though you have been checking in and calling. The *golden child* brother. I pretty much go through the same thing (including a new diagnosis of COPD and scleroderma and the tax thing). I would never want to be a doctor or nurse or counselor and have to deal with these issues (BPD's). I just wish you luck and offer support...as I don't know what the answer is except to try to maintain a sense of yourself and know you are doing good things even if you are not appreciated. ~patricia nada in hospital To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Monday, April 19, 2010, 11:52 AM My BPD mom went in the hospital early Saturday morning - with multiple things wrong with her health wise - she is still there and as far as I know is getting worse rather than better. She was diagnosed with cancer - Stage IV- four years ago and has many other health problems - congestive heart failure, uncontrolled diabetes, high blood pressure etc. As I've known more about BPD I find these health " crisis " situations hard to deal with (well they were difficult before I know about BPD too but I did not know why). It's hard to deal with an elderly parent who is terminally ill period - put BPD on top of that and I often feel paralyzed. How do I know when it is urgent? (She makes everything sound urgent.). She is genuinely physically sick yet the ways in which she manipulates that and uses it to get people to do her bidding makes me sick. I have no idea how this will pan out, but for now I am staying away other than occassional phone calls. There have been many times I thought she was dying, but she just keeps going. I'm sure the hospital folks (who she is just oh so happy with right now because they are doing her bidding as she wants them too) are wondering why her daughter is not running to the side of this poor sick sweet lady. Oh well. I know the struggles won't be over after she dies, but I'm really ready for some relief from the ever present reality of trying to figure out how to care for someone who is terminally ill and mentally ill, but who has fooled so many people into thinking she is just a sick lonely older woman. MY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2010 Report Share Posted April 25, 2010 Felicia, I'm sorry to hear about your nada's attention seeking/pain med seeking hospital visits. What you describe in the complaining about your calls bothering her and then complaining that no one calls her sounds oh so familiar and a classic no win situation with a BPD as is the lack of appreciation for you doing her taxes. Whatever we do it is never enough. It is sad to me that even when my nada does have genuine health problems as she does now (she's had plenty of manufactured or exaggerated health problems too), I have to keep my boundaries intact and I have to keep reminding myself that no matter what I do or don't do for her it will never be enough - she will insist on wanting or needing more than whatever she gets from me (and anyone else). Sadly it seems best to do less rather than having her start hoovering me in to doing far more than is healthy for me or for her. MY On Mon, Apr 19, 2010 at 10:22 AM, Felicia Ward wrote: > > > MY > My nada too went into the hospital last Wed and is still there. She has > been chronically ill for years and has had every test imaginable and nothing > but IBS and supposedly mild COPD. Even when she came to visit to see my > daughter who has autism perform in the Nutcracker, I had to take her to the > emergency room because she is in so much pain. They can't find anything > wrong with her and just discharge her with pain pills. And I can just see > how much enjoyment she gets from being in the limelight. This sickly, > negative, miserable 73 year old woman taking the limelight away from the > highlight of the year of her special needs granddaughter. It is sickening to > me. > They put her in ICU because her breathing dropped and they couldn't perfom > a test that she needed. So I am calling the hospital because I can't get a > straight answer from nada due to the drugs and the lack of being direct and > answering a question. So the hospital nurses tell me to talk to my > brother-the golden child- who was in the hospital with her. FYI he lives 30 > minutes away and hasn't talked to her and has never helped her do the lawn, > fix things, even take out her trash because he is probably BPD and married a > highly controlling BPD too. It makes me sick. My nada has always pitted us > against each other. But both of my parents always let him off the hook. So > even after all of this, she is not invited to their house for holidays and > spends them alone, because he shows up at the hospital, it is like > everything is ok. She then even barked the other day for both us calling and > bothering her. When I call her out of obligation, she whines that no one > calls her- the implication that I am no one. Yet I still feel the hurt and > jealousy of my brother. He isn't a brother in any sense of the term. and i > also still jump through hoops trying to win her approval. she was all worred > about her taxes not getting them done. here she is in critical condition and > she is worried about an immaterial amount of tax. so dutifully i do her > extensions for her and crazily expecting appreciation! i guess i am better > because at least i can realize what i am still doing. before i never knew > why i felt depressed and unhappy. i guess it is a journey. > What is ironic for my nada is that she did all the physical things like > cooking, ironing and i thought she was the greatest mother ever. but there > was absolute no emotional support or connection. everything was just forget > it and shaming me......so she distracts herself by doing anything. busy > work. can't sit still to watch a video tape of a grandchild's performance. > now the final word is that her copd is so bad that she can't do for herself > and will have to have help. she hates that and she hates just > sitting.....what a way to go.... > but i have been reading about boundaries and about the feelings. while it > is a sad situation for her, it doesn't have to be for me but she will expect > me to commiserate with her and even probably move close to her to take care > of her. i moved 3000 miles away to escape BP ex #2 and there is no way i am > going back. i married my mother twice. so all i can say now is thanks > nada..... > > This group has been so great for me. I take time everyday to go through the > emails even though I am busy with work. Thanks everyone. > > > > From: MY <mgrowingup@... <mgrowingup%40gmail.com>> > Subject: nada in hospital > To: WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com> > Date: Monday, April 19, 2010, 11:52 AM > > > > > My BPD mom went in the hospital early Saturday morning - with multiple > things wrong with her health wise - she is still there and as far as I know > is getting worse rather than better. She was diagnosed with cancer - Stage > IV- four years ago and has many other health problems - congestive heart > failure, uncontrolled diabetes, high blood pressure etc. As I've known more > about BPD I find these health " crisis " situations hard to deal with (well > they were difficult before I know about BPD too but I did not know why). > It's hard to deal with an elderly parent who is terminally ill period - put > BPD on top of that and I often feel paralyzed. How do I know when it is > urgent? (She makes everything sound urgent.). She is genuinely physically > sick yet the ways in which she manipulates that and uses it to get people > to > do her bidding makes me sick. > > I have no idea how this will pan out, but for now I am staying away other > than occassional phone calls. There have been many times I thought she was > dying, but she just keeps going. I'm sure the hospital folks (who she is > just oh so happy with right now because they are doing her bidding as she > wants them too) are wondering why her daughter is not running to the side > of > this poor sick sweet lady. Oh well. > > I know the struggles won't be over after she dies, but I'm really ready for > some relief from the ever present reality of trying to figure out how to > care for someone who is terminally ill and mentally ill, but who has fooled > so many people into thinking she is just a sick lonely older woman. > > MY > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2010 Report Share Posted April 25, 2010 Doug, Thank you so much for your response. I'm finding that your last line. " But guess what? It's not your fault. " is something I need to hear over and over again. It's amazing to me how ingrained it is in me that I am a bad daughter and that many things related to my mother are my fault. Nada was released from the hospital on Thursday. She is a little better, but not great. Just enough better to pull out the guilt trip and " Oh Woe is Me " behavior. She was enough out of it before the hospital stay that she pretty much just slept and wasn't aware enough to attack or guilt trip anyone. If I continue to not do as I know she wants - to come and take care of her - her pitiful behavior will likely to turn into attacks. (And there is no way I am going to go to take care of her.) My nada is the Queen and she will use any tactic she thinks will work to get what she wants. I'm really grateful for my husband who consistently helps me to see more clearly when the FOG is overtaking me. I can't count the number of times I have heard a medical person say something to the effect that it is amazing she is still alive....with the multitude of health problems she has and she really does not take care of herself. And yet she just keeps going....amazing. I know she can't live forever though and that one of these days the phone call will be because she has died. MY > > > > Hey MY > > This was a battle I fought for years, both with my grandmother and later > with nada. Grandma was addicted to codiene and would use trips to the > ER for drug seeking. Nada and sister managed to be absent and > unreachable after I moved back to the area. > > Nada always had complainsts, was always convinced she was a pitiful > victim, that she was far sicker than any Dr ever told her, and made > frequent trips to the ER to seek Xanix and Lortab. She was highly > offended when they let her sit for hours and treated her as a drug > seeker. > > I knew that every call from both of them would make me feel used, > because it would be nothing. I also knew that day would finally come > when it was for real. And they would die. And so they did, 20 years > apart. > > I still battle the guilt at times, but it doesnt change the facts. > They manipulated and used me. I resent the hell out of it. And they > still eventually died. But they would have whether I played the game > forever or not. > > Nada, in her final years, would go to the ER via ambulance, come home at > 2 0r 3 in the morning by taxi, then casually complain to me about how > much it cost her to do so. Once or twice I said You didnt call me to > come get you and bring you home. Then she made it about how self > sacrificing she was so as not to bother me with it. Of course, it that > were true, she wouldnt try to guilt me into anything either. I finally > just said well I m glad you have worked out a plan that works well for > you. > > You cant win. You can either be manipulated forever by every Hoovering > attempt to draw you in by faking sickness, or you can accept that one of > the calls, finally, will be the fatal one. Even the little boy who > cries wolf will eventually have a wolf come and eat him. > > But guess what? It s not your fault. > > Doug > > > > > > My BPD mom went in the hospital early Saturday morning - with multiple > > things wrong with her health wise - she is still there and as far as I > know > > is getting worse rather than better. She was diagnosed with cancer - > Stage > > IV- four years ago and has many other health problems - congestive > heart > > failure, uncontrolled diabetes, high blood pressure etc. As I've known > more > > about BPD I find these health " crisis " situations hard to deal with > (well > > they were difficult before I know about BPD too but I did not know > why). > > It's hard to deal with an elderly parent who is terminally ill period > - put > > BPD on top of that and I often feel paralyzed. How do I know when it > is > > urgent? (She makes everything sound urgent.). She is genuinely > physically > > sick yet the ways in which she manipulates that and uses it to get > people to > > do her bidding makes me sick. > > > > I have no idea how this will pan out, but for now I am staying away > other > > than occassional phone calls. There have been many times I thought she > was > > dying, but she just keeps going. I'm sure the hospital folks (who she > is > > just oh so happy with right now because they are doing her bidding as > she > > wants them too) are wondering why her daughter is not running to the > side of > > this poor sick sweet lady. Oh well. > > > > I know the struggles won't be over after she dies, but I'm really > ready for > > some relief from the ever present reality of trying to figure out how > to > > care for someone who is terminally ill and mentally ill, but who has > fooled > > so many people into thinking she is just a sick lonely older woman. > > > > MY > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2010 Report Share Posted April 25, 2010 Your story about the dog allergy reminded me that when my nada came for my daughter's promotion from 5th grade last year, my daughter ended up getting really sick right after nada got here. Nada usually shares my daughter's room when she comes and as she has cancer and is on chemo I made every possible suggestion/offer to try to protect nada a bit from the illness - take her to a hotel/motel, maybe she should go home early, etc. Of course she would have none of it and did not take any precautions on her part to not be exposed to my daughter. And of course she got really sick while she was here and was then just such a picture of Oh woe is me and " this is really serious because she is running a fever and it's serious if she is running a fever " and spending countless amount of time on the phone with on-call doctors trying to get them to call in a prescription for antibiotics (it was the weekend). I was so glad to get her back on the train home before she made me take her to the emergency room or something. Aaargh she did nothing to prevent herself from getting sick even though she has a significantly compromised immune system and then was of course an incredibly high maintainence sick person. Also, after she was already sick she decided she needed to sleep on the couch rather than my daughter's room - why, I don't know, she was already sick - maybe she thought it made her look even more pathetic - sick and having to sleep on the couch. Like I said I was so glad to put her on the train back home. MY On Mon, Apr 19, 2010 at 3:03 PM, Hellfireblonde wrote: > > > Hospital stays and sickness are like a jackpot for the waif type. My nada > is waif/witch and has been known for over dramatizing every ache and pain. > She's had arthritic pain in her back/pelvis for YEARS and refuses to see a > chiropractor or acupuncturist. Her Dr. gives her pain meds when it flares up > but that's only a temporary fix and some of the meds made her very, very > sick. Yet she still refuses to seek alternative help in spite of her > friends, and my insistence that's it's effective and worth a try. This has > been going on for YEARS, and i'm not kidding. On and on she groans about her > pain.... ugh spare me! > > A few years ago we travelled overseas to see her nada (my grandnada) who > had a dog. Well nada had developed an allergy to dogs over time and was > discovering how bad it really was whilst staying in that house. Days and > days past with her wheezing exaggeratedly, complaining, woe is me, on and on > this went. The whole time I was suggesting alternate solutions for her but > she just cried and ignored me, then claims that nobody cares about her. > ARGHHHH!!! > > This is pretty classic BPD... and I don't care. > > > > > > > Update on nada since she took her overdose. Went to see her in > > hospital today and she was in the " vulnerable victim " mode. She > > clung on to me and kept jumping in a startled manner every time > > somebody moved. > > > > She also kept repeating an allegation which she first made when she > > was on the same psychiatric ward 2 years ago (after which I went nc > > with her for 2 years following a spate of nasty answerphone > > messages). She keeps saying the charge nurse pushed her over leading > > her to sustain a broken wrist. She did get a broken wrist, but she > > kept going all wobbly on her feet (staff observed her doing this only > > when she knew she was being watched) and I was told at the time that > > whilst doing one of her " wobblies " she fell backwards and landed > > awkwardly on her hand. > > > > She first made the " pushing " allegation 2 years ago and neither > > myself or my husband believed it. It was obvious at the time that > > she kept coming over " wobbly " because she was hoping we'd come > > and " rescue " her (she made it clear she wanted to come and live near > > us). We thought she was just trying to manipulate us into taking her > > off the ward and bringing her to live near or with us (we live 2 > > hours away from her). > > > > Now though, I'm starting to doubt myself and I'm wondering if there > > is any truth to the allegation. She has also mentioned it to at > > least one of her neighbours. I questioned her on it today when she > > brought it up, and I said that if it was true then she must make a > > complaint as there's nothing anyone can do if she just keeps saying > > it and not doing anything about it. She immediately said she didn't > > want me to make a complaint. I then told her it was unfair of her to > > keep telling me it happened if she then doesn't want me to make a > > complaint. She was very apologetic, but in what I feel was quite an > > insincere way - as though she was doing it for effect. > > > > What does everyone else think? Has anyone else had experiences of > > this sort with their nada/fada? > > > > Best wishes, Jeanie > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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