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Just go to a Dr. and start a medical history bemoaning the fact that you don t

have one is my faavorite but it truly gets me no where try starting to get ready

for your procedure and you will find that it gets easier because if you don t it

is the same as laying down to die

MonaDMarco@... wrote:

> From: MonaDMarco@...

>

> Hello everyone!

>

> I have been lurking for awhile now......I have been considering this surgery

> from afar for a few years. I recently decided to begin serious research on

> the subject....that is how I found this list and all of you:) ....I have

> located several surgeons in my area and have begun filling out the

> paperwork.....I want to shop around....meet the surgeons......and then make a

> decision.......the feedback I have been getting from their office help isn't

> encouraging though....when I tell them what insurance I have they all say the

> same thing...... " that company has never okayed this surgery for anyone! "

> Ugh! I am 5'1 " and I weigh 300. I have a BMI of 58. 41 years old. I

> havent been to a doctor in a long time. I avoid them. I don't feel well,

> though. I ache all over. I have constant fatigue. I have back and joint

> problems. I have trouble sleeping. Getting up and down stairs is getting

> harder and harder. I am getting to the place that I dont want to do

> anything! It is too much work! I may have other problems but just dont

> know........diabetes runs in my family. Sometime I think I may have high

> blood pressure. I have spent years in therapy, 11 years in OA, lost 70

> lbs on Optifast gained 80-100 back, I have tried Diet Center, WW, hypnosis,

> etc. I have spent 100's of dollars.

> I want to do this but I am already discouraged and I havent even started! I

> am afraid without adequate medical documentation I wont have a chance. I

> know I wont have that. Tonight I feel pretty down. I need some ideas and

> encouragement!

> Sincerely

>

> Rhonda

> St. Louis, Mo

> GHP Insurance

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> ONElist: the best source for group communications.

> http://www.onelist.com

> Join a new list today!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

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I think better they be shocke dthen come to hospital with nothing but I TOLD YOU

SO

BJH1364@... wrote:

> From: BJH1364@...

>

> In a message dated 5/19/99 9:24:21 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

> Dr_Rutledge@... writes:

>

> <<

> I feel very strongly that you should tell your family that you are having

> this surgery.

>

> What if you die?

>

> If you had a daughter that had an operation and did not tell you and died

> during the surgery how would you feel?

> >>

>

> I have to say that I agree with Dr. R on this....I went into the surgery,

> just like everyone, & expected to have no problems....I was

> WRONG.....Although my complications weren't as severe as Nan's, I was in the

> hospital a total of 3 times, & pretty sick for 6 weeks post-op....

> If I hadn't told my parents about the operation then they would have been

> shocked to get the call that their " baby " was very sick in the hospital

> because she'd had surgery a few days prior.....Somehow that just wouldn't

> have been right......

> Of course this is just MY OPINION......

> Take care,

> Beth H

> (Kernersville)

> MGB/April 13, 98

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> It's finally here! What's your opinion?

> http://www.onelist.com

> Create a Star Wars discussion group at ONElist.

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

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  • 14 years later...
Guest guest

My parents disowned me 7 years ago. They said I was an embarrassment to

them and to never come to their house.You see appearances means everything

to them.. and what would their friends say?? If I do die my husband has

orders not to tell them anything. As far as I am concerned, I am an orphan.

Love and Hugs

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Guest guest

My parents disowned me 7 years ago. They said I was an embarrassment to

them and to never come to their house.You see appearances means everything

to them.. and what would their friends say?? If I do die my husband has

orders not to tell them anything. As far as I am concerned, I am an orphan.

Love and Hugs

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Guest guest

My parents disowned me 7 years ago. They said I was an embarrassment to

them and to never come to their house.You see appearances means everything

to them.. and what would their friends say?? If I do die my husband has

orders not to tell them anything. As far as I am concerned, I am an orphan.

Love and Hugs

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Guest guest

Beth, Thanks.. I had a wonderful granny who always loved me unconditionally

to whom I was always close to. So I feel I was blessed with her. She is no

longer alive, but I know she is still looking after me , and with me in

spirit.I have some good friends and a good husband so I feel content. Then

there is all of you! which I adore! so see I am very very fortunate. Love

and Hugs

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Guest guest

Kathy, The day before my grandmother died she said 3 things. " I Love You

sweetie " Please forgive your parents for all they've done " and never forget

Jesus.I hold the first statement in my heart. The forgiving took a little

time, but yes I do forgive them. But forgiving them is to give myself

peace. And it has released me from their power to hurt me.No, no letters,

no calls nothing. This is not to hurt them, it is to protect me. I need to

be strong through this fight about to happen. I don't need the upsets they

are famous for. love and hugs ..talking to Jesus daily :-)

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Pardon me, if Kathy knew my parents she would totally agree. When a mother

tells her daughter she is a fat, lazy slob with no willpower . and my reply

was.. I'm tired of this shit.. then both her and my father replied.. You

are shit! well what would you do?? I have forgiven them but I WILL NEVER

FORGET!!!!!!!!! sincerely love and hugs aka kode

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Guest guest

I agree to tell your mom...

I knew when I did (last week) it wouldn't be pretty....it was because she has

heard horror stories like everyone else has..without hearing any positive

stories(media).

She is a mom..it is her job to worry. I gave her a copy of the MGB manual to

read right off---she had some questions and now is in full support of the

surgery. My parents love me no matter what size I am or what decisions I

make about my future.

I am very blessed! I knew their reaction would be of worry...I wanted to

spare them that...but they need to know.

How else will you explain your 150 lb. weight loss? Dexatrim??!!! :)

Christy E.

Indiana

fighting like hell with BCBS

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Guest guest

I agree to tell your mom...

I knew when I did (last week) it wouldn't be pretty....it was because she has

heard horror stories like everyone else has..without hearing any positive

stories(media).

She is a mom..it is her job to worry. I gave her a copy of the MGB manual to

read right off---she had some questions and now is in full support of the

surgery. My parents love me no matter what size I am or what decisions I

make about my future.

I am very blessed! I knew their reaction would be of worry...I wanted to

spare them that...but they need to know.

How else will you explain your 150 lb. weight loss? Dexatrim??!!! :)

Christy E.

Indiana

fighting like hell with BCBS

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Guest guest

I agree to tell your mom...

I knew when I did (last week) it wouldn't be pretty....it was because she has

heard horror stories like everyone else has..without hearing any positive

stories(media).

She is a mom..it is her job to worry. I gave her a copy of the MGB manual to

read right off---she had some questions and now is in full support of the

surgery. My parents love me no matter what size I am or what decisions I

make about my future.

I am very blessed! I knew their reaction would be of worry...I wanted to

spare them that...but they need to know.

How else will you explain your 150 lb. weight loss? Dexatrim??!!! :)

Christy E.

Indiana

fighting like hell with BCBS

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Guest guest

Hello everyone!

I have been lurking for awhile now......I have been considering this surgery

from afar for a few years. I recently decided to begin serious research on

the subject....that is how I found this list and all of you:) ....I have

located several surgeons in my area and have begun filling out the

paperwork.....I want to shop around....meet the surgeons......and then make a

decision.......the feedback I have been getting from their office help isn't

encouraging though....when I tell them what insurance I have they all say the

same thing...... " that company has never okayed this surgery for anyone! "

Ugh! I am 5'1 " and I weigh 300. I have a BMI of 58. 41 years old. I

havent been to a doctor in a long time. I avoid them. I don't feel well,

though. I ache all over. I have constant fatigue. I have back and joint

problems. I have trouble sleeping. Getting up and down stairs is getting

harder and harder. I am getting to the place that I dont want to do

anything! It is too much work! I may have other problems but just dont

know........diabetes runs in my family. Sometime I think I may have high

blood pressure. I have spent years in therapy, 11 years in OA, lost 70

lbs on Optifast gained 80-100 back, I have tried Diet Center, WW, hypnosis,

etc. I have spent 100's of dollars.

I want to do this but I am already discouraged and I havent even started! I

am afraid without adequate medical documentation I wont have a chance. I

know I wont have that. Tonight I feel pretty down. I need some ideas and

encouragement!

Sincerely

Rhonda

St. Louis, Mo

GHP Insurance

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Guest guest

In a message dated 5/19/99 9:24:21 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Dr_Rutledge@... writes:

<<

I feel very strongly that you should tell your family that you are having

this surgery.

What if you die?

If you had a daughter that had an operation and did not tell you and died

during the surgery how would you feel?

>>

I have to say that I agree with Dr. R on this....I went into the surgery,

just like everyone, & expected to have no problems....I was

WRONG.....Although my complications weren't as severe as Nan's, I was in the

hospital a total of 3 times, & pretty sick for 6 weeks post-op....

If I hadn't told my parents about the operation then they would have been

shocked to get the call that their " baby " was very sick in the hospital

because she'd had surgery a few days prior.....Somehow that just wouldn't

have been right......

Of course this is just MY OPINION......

Take care,

Beth H

(Kernersville)

MGB/April 13, 98

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Guest guest

Hello,

I feel very strongly that you should tell your family that you are having

this surgery.

What if you die?

If you had a daughter that had an operation and did not tell you and died

during the surgery how would you feel?

I was talking with one of my patients arguing this very point. She did not

want to tell her parents.

Her fiend who brought her to clinic began crying.

She had lost her son to a drowning accident and had never had the chance to

say good bye....

Tell you parents.

It takes strength but it is the right thing to do and you know it.

Of course your parents will be skeptical that is their job.

They knew you when you were 7.

Veritas.

RR

Rutledge, M.D., F.A.C.S.

The Center for Laparoscopic Obesity Surgery

4301 Ben lin Blvd.

P. O. Box 15698

Durham, North Carolina 27704

Telephone #:

Fax #:

E mail: Dr_Rutledge@... (Note:

There is an “_” between the Dr and Rutledge:)

Web site: http://clos.net

Durham Regional Hospital #:

Also, Please consider joining the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List

at http://www.onelist.com

We have created a mailing list for people interested in the Mini-Gastric

Bypass.

It is hosted by " Onelist.com " in the Health Category.

Talk with lots of other pre and post op patients and friends.

Automatically keep up to date on the latest news.

> Re: Psyche Eval

>

>

> From: CmacyM@...

>

> Janet,

> I had to listen to all those same things from my mother. " I had a friend

> that had it done and......yada yada yada " She finally came around. It's

> totally your decission if you want to tell her after. There are

> quite a few

> people I chose to do that with also. You are a grown up...You

> are a grown up!

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Having difficulty getting " in synch " with list members?

> http://www.onelist.com

> Try ONElist's Shared Calendar to organize events, meetings and more!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

>

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Guest guest

Hello,

I feel very strongly that you should tell your family that you are having

this surgery.

What if you die?

If you had a daughter that had an operation and did not tell you and died

during the surgery how would you feel?

I was talking with one of my patients arguing this very point. She did not

want to tell her parents.

Her fiend who brought her to clinic began crying.

She had lost her son to a drowning accident and had never had the chance to

say good bye....

Tell you parents.

It takes strength but it is the right thing to do and you know it.

Of course your parents will be skeptical that is their job.

They knew you when you were 7.

Veritas.

RR

Rutledge, M.D., F.A.C.S.

The Center for Laparoscopic Obesity Surgery

4301 Ben lin Blvd.

P. O. Box 15698

Durham, North Carolina 27704

Telephone #:

Fax #:

E mail: Dr_Rutledge@... (Note:

There is an “_” between the Dr and Rutledge:)

Web site: http://clos.net

Durham Regional Hospital #:

Also, Please consider joining the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List

at http://www.onelist.com

We have created a mailing list for people interested in the Mini-Gastric

Bypass.

It is hosted by " Onelist.com " in the Health Category.

Talk with lots of other pre and post op patients and friends.

Automatically keep up to date on the latest news.

> Re: Psyche Eval

>

>

> From: CmacyM@...

>

> Janet,

> I had to listen to all those same things from my mother. " I had a friend

> that had it done and......yada yada yada " She finally came around. It's

> totally your decission if you want to tell her after. There are

> quite a few

> people I chose to do that with also. You are a grown up...You

> are a grown up!

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Having difficulty getting " in synch " with list members?

> http://www.onelist.com

> Try ONElist's Shared Calendar to organize events, meetings and more!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

>

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Guest guest

Hello,

I feel very strongly that you should tell your family that you are having

this surgery.

What if you die?

If you had a daughter that had an operation and did not tell you and died

during the surgery how would you feel?

I was talking with one of my patients arguing this very point. She did not

want to tell her parents.

Her fiend who brought her to clinic began crying.

She had lost her son to a drowning accident and had never had the chance to

say good bye....

Tell you parents.

It takes strength but it is the right thing to do and you know it.

Of course your parents will be skeptical that is their job.

They knew you when you were 7.

Veritas.

RR

Rutledge, M.D., F.A.C.S.

The Center for Laparoscopic Obesity Surgery

4301 Ben lin Blvd.

P. O. Box 15698

Durham, North Carolina 27704

Telephone #:

Fax #:

E mail: Dr_Rutledge@... (Note:

There is an “_” between the Dr and Rutledge:)

Web site: http://clos.net

Durham Regional Hospital #:

Also, Please consider joining the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List

at http://www.onelist.com

We have created a mailing list for people interested in the Mini-Gastric

Bypass.

It is hosted by " Onelist.com " in the Health Category.

Talk with lots of other pre and post op patients and friends.

Automatically keep up to date on the latest news.

> Re: Psyche Eval

>

>

> From: CmacyM@...

>

> Janet,

> I had to listen to all those same things from my mother. " I had a friend

> that had it done and......yada yada yada " She finally came around. It's

> totally your decission if you want to tell her after. There are

> quite a few

> people I chose to do that with also. You are a grown up...You

> are a grown up!

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Having difficulty getting " in synch " with list members?

> http://www.onelist.com

> Try ONElist's Shared Calendar to organize events, meetings and more!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

>

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Guest guest

I am willing to be talked out of it if I am wrong.

But ask Nan coulter what would have happened if she had not told her

parents.

Ask Marilyn Shelton.

Ask the people who told their parents.

If I am wrong I am willing to be convinced.

What would you want your child to do?

Get an operation without letting you know about it?

I don't think so.....

RR

Rutledge, M.D., F.A.C.S.

The Center for Laparoscopic Obesity Surgery

4301 Ben lin Blvd.

P. O. Box 15698

Durham, North Carolina 27704

Telephone #:

Fax #:

E mail: Dr_Rutledge@... (Note:

There is an “_” between the Dr and Rutledge:)

Web site: http://clos.net

Durham Regional Hospital #:

Also, Please consider joining the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List

at http://www.onelist.com

We have created a mailing list for people interested in the Mini-Gastric

Bypass.

It is hosted by " Onelist.com " in the Health Category.

Talk with lots of other pre and post op patients and friends.

Automatically keep up to date on the latest news.

> Re: Tell Your Parents

>

>

> From: Eitler@...

>

> I agree to tell your mom...

> I knew when I did (last week) it wouldn't be pretty....it was

> because she has

> heard horror stories like everyone else has..without hearing any

> positive

> stories(media).

> She is a mom..it is her job to worry. I gave her a copy of the

> MGB manual to

> read right off---she had some questions and now is in full support of the

> surgery. My parents love me no matter what size I am or what decisions I

> make about my future.

> I am very blessed! I knew their reaction would be of worry...I wanted to

> spare them that...but they need to know.

>

> How else will you explain your 150 lb. weight loss? Dexatrim??!!! :)

>

> Christy E.

> Indiana

> fighting like hell with BCBS

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> With more than 17 million e-mails exchanged daily...

> http://www.onelist.com

> ...ONElist is THE place where the world talks!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

>

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Guest guest

I am willing to be talked out of it if I am wrong.

But ask Nan coulter what would have happened if she had not told her

parents.

Ask Marilyn Shelton.

Ask the people who told their parents.

If I am wrong I am willing to be convinced.

What would you want your child to do?

Get an operation without letting you know about it?

I don't think so.....

RR

Rutledge, M.D., F.A.C.S.

The Center for Laparoscopic Obesity Surgery

4301 Ben lin Blvd.

P. O. Box 15698

Durham, North Carolina 27704

Telephone #:

Fax #:

E mail: Dr_Rutledge@... (Note:

There is an “_” between the Dr and Rutledge:)

Web site: http://clos.net

Durham Regional Hospital #:

Also, Please consider joining the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List

at http://www.onelist.com

We have created a mailing list for people interested in the Mini-Gastric

Bypass.

It is hosted by " Onelist.com " in the Health Category.

Talk with lots of other pre and post op patients and friends.

Automatically keep up to date on the latest news.

> Re: Tell Your Parents

>

>

> From: Eitler@...

>

> I agree to tell your mom...

> I knew when I did (last week) it wouldn't be pretty....it was

> because she has

> heard horror stories like everyone else has..without hearing any

> positive

> stories(media).

> She is a mom..it is her job to worry. I gave her a copy of the

> MGB manual to

> read right off---she had some questions and now is in full support of the

> surgery. My parents love me no matter what size I am or what decisions I

> make about my future.

> I am very blessed! I knew their reaction would be of worry...I wanted to

> spare them that...but they need to know.

>

> How else will you explain your 150 lb. weight loss? Dexatrim??!!! :)

>

> Christy E.

> Indiana

> fighting like hell with BCBS

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> With more than 17 million e-mails exchanged daily...

> http://www.onelist.com

> ...ONElist is THE place where the world talks!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

>

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

I am willing to be talked out of it if I am wrong.

But ask Nan coulter what would have happened if she had not told her

parents.

Ask Marilyn Shelton.

Ask the people who told their parents.

If I am wrong I am willing to be convinced.

What would you want your child to do?

Get an operation without letting you know about it?

I don't think so.....

RR

Rutledge, M.D., F.A.C.S.

The Center for Laparoscopic Obesity Surgery

4301 Ben lin Blvd.

P. O. Box 15698

Durham, North Carolina 27704

Telephone #:

Fax #:

E mail: Dr_Rutledge@... (Note:

There is an “_” between the Dr and Rutledge:)

Web site: http://clos.net

Durham Regional Hospital #:

Also, Please consider joining the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List

at http://www.onelist.com

We have created a mailing list for people interested in the Mini-Gastric

Bypass.

It is hosted by " Onelist.com " in the Health Category.

Talk with lots of other pre and post op patients and friends.

Automatically keep up to date on the latest news.

> Re: Tell Your Parents

>

>

> From: Eitler@...

>

> I agree to tell your mom...

> I knew when I did (last week) it wouldn't be pretty....it was

> because she has

> heard horror stories like everyone else has..without hearing any

> positive

> stories(media).

> She is a mom..it is her job to worry. I gave her a copy of the

> MGB manual to

> read right off---she had some questions and now is in full support of the

> surgery. My parents love me no matter what size I am or what decisions I

> make about my future.

> I am very blessed! I knew their reaction would be of worry...I wanted to

> spare them that...but they need to know.

>

> How else will you explain your 150 lb. weight loss? Dexatrim??!!! :)

>

> Christy E.

> Indiana

> fighting like hell with BCBS

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> With more than 17 million e-mails exchanged daily...

> http://www.onelist.com

> ...ONElist is THE place where the world talks!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

>

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Guest guest

Rhonda Someone has to be the first with that insurance to be

approved, why not you? Everyone here will try to give you every hint

possible to aid in your quest for the surgery. If they say no the

first time try again, at least it is setting a mental goal for you and

giving you something to look forward to. Take care. Diane in

Florida denied by CIGNA and fighting back!

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Guest guest

This may be a kind of personal question, but I read in an earlier e-mail to

throw out the scale in preparation for surgery. Have any of you after, prior

to, or in preparation for surgery find yourself obsessing about weight?

From your e-mails there is obviously a lot of work that goes into this kind

of stuff. Does it consume you or are you guys to cool for that? :-)

cara

Wilmington, NC

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Guest guest

How about a letter to them telling them and the dates , times, etc...??

Who knows, maybe it would give them a chance to mend fences........j

I can't imagine how their actions hurt you, but forgiving is something

you do for yourself and NOT for the other person...Good luck

Kathy

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Guest guest

Dr. R,

Glad to hear you say that you can be talked out of the " family notificaton "

rule.

As 's parents we believe the decision to proceed with this surgery in

the case of a minor child is our right and should not require the approval

of other extended family members.

We do plan to tell them the day before surgery, but there is no reason for

them to harrangue in the meantime. This is a family that doesn't " do

sick " and they will never understand the reasoning behind this at 's

age. They would only make her life hell over the next 2 weeks although,

they probably wouldn't say much to us!

If I didn't think this was in 's best interest and if she hadn't so

vehemently opposed telling them now, I would have gone ahead. Hopefully,

once they know she is safely through the procedure their mind-set will be

such that telling them all the details will work just fine.

Re: Tell Your Parents

>>

>>

>> From: Eitler@...

>>

>> I agree to tell your mom...

>> I knew when I did (last week) it wouldn't be pretty....it was

>> because she has

>> heard horror stories like everyone else has..without hearing any

>> positive

>> stories(media).

>> She is a mom..it is her job to worry. I gave her a copy of the

>> MGB manual to

>> read right off---she had some questions and now is in full support of the

>> surgery. My parents love me no matter what size I am or what decisions I

>> make about my future.

>> I am very blessed! I knew their reaction would be of worry...I wanted to

>> spare them that...but they need to know.

>>

>> How else will you explain your 150 lb. weight loss? Dexatrim??!!! :)

>>

>> Christy E.

>> Indiana

>> fighting like hell with BCBS

>>

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>> With more than 17 million e-mails exchanged daily...

>> http://www.onelist.com

>> ...ONElist is THE place where the world talks!

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

>>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>What do lizards and rock music have in common?

>http://www.onelist.com

>They both have communities at ONElist. Find yours today!

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

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Guest guest

I agree with in your case.

Re: Tell Your Parents

>From: BJH1364@...

>

>In a message dated 5/19/99 9:57:01 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

>kodeman@... writes:

>

><< My parents disowned me 7 years ago. They said I was an embarrassment to

> them and to never come to their house.You see appearances means everything

> to them.. and what would their friends say?? If I do die my husband has

> orders not to tell them anything. As far as I am concerned, I am an

orphan.

>>>

>

>,

>I am sorry to hear that this is the situation with your family.....

>I said in an earlier post that we should tell our parents.....but there is

>always an exception to the rule, & this seems to qualify as one of those

>times.....

>Good luck to you!

>Take care,

>Beth H

>(Kernersville)

>MGB/April 13,98

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>How many communities do you think join ONElist each day?

>http://www.onelist.com

>More than 1,000! Create yours now!

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass List at Onelist.com

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I agree with Dr. Rutledge, Tell your parents. They will understand. They

may not agree in the beginning but you can convince them that Dr. R is a

great surgeon and that you are in the best of hands.

Deb Hertlein

Greensboro NC

Surgery Date 6-17

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