Re: I may be the anti-christ............lol

[Guest guest]

Carol - you are not responsible for your nada or sister! They are grown-ups who

make their own choices and must learn to deal with the consequences.

Think about what would help YOUR anxiety. Take care of yourself. If I was in

this situation, I would first stop bailing out nada and sister. They should not

be rewarded for their irresponsible gambling! Next time they complain, ask, or

beg for money, just smile and say " I'm so sorry you are having this problem.

What are you going to do about it? " And if they ask you for money just

apologize and say " sorry, I'm just not in the position to give you money right

now. Good luck. "

I'd also take some steps (whatever you can do legally) to protect yourself from

getting nailed with your nada's debt after she is gone. Not sure exactly how to

do this (maybe check with an estate lawyer), but sometimes taking steps to

protect yourself in the future helps reduce the anxiety.

So sorry you have to deal with this.

-

>

> I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My codependant nada is

nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000 miles away from them

both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older sister even if it

meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling problems. For my

own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and discuss only

surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise. Nada informed

me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking account in case

something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of money here as either

nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of nada's property.

Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds

like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call from nada that

sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have more gambling

money while they were both there. When they came home sister didn't cover

nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security money for the

month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to

gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the

years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It

was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over

the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and me.

Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you so

much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her checking

account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I am the

anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a few years

back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened. My sister

is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She would of

never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best friend,

they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has selective

memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme anxiety. I did

salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a nice dinner out

yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i was ruminating on

it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to know what button of

mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you all help me uncover

it?

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you . I no longer help them financially but I am anxious about what

my responsibilities are as her daughter. I know she has life insurance but I do

not know who the beneficiary is but I am going to ask. I do feel responsible to

bury her. I feel my confusion lies in that they are so secret about everything.

If my sister is the beneficiary of the life insurance then guess what it is all

her tamale. I just need to grow some and ask these questions. I think it is

really selfish of nada not to have told me anything. I know I need to really

limit these conversations because her " not remembering " these events is a akin

to her " not remembering " how my fada abused me.

> >

> > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My codependant nada

is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000 miles away from them

both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older sister even if it

meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling problems. For my

own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and discuss only

surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise. Nada informed

me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking account in case

something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of money here as either

nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of nada's property.

Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds

like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call from nada that

sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have more gambling

money while they were both there. When they came home sister didn't cover

nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security money for the

month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to

gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the

years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It

was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over

the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and me.

Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you so

much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her checking

account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I am the

anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a few years

back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened. My sister

is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She would of

never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best friend,

they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has selective

memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme anxiety. I did

salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a nice dinner out

yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i was ruminating on

it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to know what button of

mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you all help me uncover

it?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I related to a couple of things here. Towards the end that whole selective

memory.

So let's do that first. THAT will make you crazy. My nada did it when I came

out and went public about the abuse and STILL does it over the most insane

things.

My solution. Witnesses. It's the only way I manage to sleep at night. And it

works. Because I tell you what, when there are no witnesses....I do get

anxious, I do stress out. SO I avoid private phone calls, and one on one

visits. And when it comes to e-mail...well, she knows I keep everything...so

she behaves.

Being the anti-Christ. Hi, my name is Jesus. I was dead for 13 years, and

then resurrected about 12 years ago. Since then I am the perfect daughter and

her emotional Savior. THOUGH, she does also admit I am not 'Nurturing'. So I

really am quite like the personal/impersonal son (daughter) of mankind. We

should do coffee sometime, talk over the fate of the world, you know, maybe

think about how we can handle this issue of cult rising called BP parents. Cause

I don't think as either the anti-Christ, or the Christ we are feeling that whole

reason for this type of religious fanaticism. I know the Crusades were rough,

but maybe we need to be radical about this group.

Hang in there Carol...and seriously see someone about locking it down as to what

YOU are responsible for, that's good advice.

Elle

> > >

> > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My codependant

nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000 miles away from

them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older sister even if it

meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling problems. For my

own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and discuss only

surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise. Nada informed

me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking account in case

something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of money here as either

nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of nada's property.

Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds

like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call from nada that

sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have more gambling

money while they were both there. When they came home sister didn't cover

nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security money for the

month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to

gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the

years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It

was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over

the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and me.

Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you so

much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her checking

account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I am the

anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a few years

back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened. My sister

is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She would of

never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best friend,

they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has selective

memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme anxiety. I did

salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a nice dinner out

yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i was ruminating on

it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to know what button of

mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you all help me uncover

it?

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I related to a couple of things here. Towards the end that whole selective

memory.

So let's do that first. THAT will make you crazy. My nada did it when I came

out and went public about the abuse and STILL does it over the most insane

things.

My solution. Witnesses. It's the only way I manage to sleep at night. And it

works. Because I tell you what, when there are no witnesses....I do get

anxious, I do stress out. SO I avoid private phone calls, and one on one

visits. And when it comes to e-mail...well, she knows I keep everything...so

she behaves.

Being the anti-Christ. Hi, my name is Jesus. I was dead for 13 years, and

then resurrected about 12 years ago. Since then I am the perfect daughter and

her emotional Savior. THOUGH, she does also admit I am not 'Nurturing'. So I

really am quite like the personal/impersonal son (daughter) of mankind. We

should do coffee sometime, talk over the fate of the world, you know, maybe

think about how we can handle this issue of cult rising called BP parents. Cause

I don't think as either the anti-Christ, or the Christ we are feeling that whole

reason for this type of religious fanaticism. I know the Crusades were rough,

but maybe we need to be radical about this group.

Hang in there Carol...and seriously see someone about locking it down as to what

YOU are responsible for, that's good advice.

Elle

> > >

> > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My codependant

nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000 miles away from

them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older sister even if it

meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling problems. For my

own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and discuss only

surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise. Nada informed

me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking account in case

something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of money here as either

nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of nada's property.

Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds

like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call from nada that

sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have more gambling

money while they were both there. When they came home sister didn't cover

nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security money for the

month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to

gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the

years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It

was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over

the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and me.

Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you so

much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her checking

account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I am the

anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a few years

back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened. My sister

is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She would of

never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best friend,

they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has selective

memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme anxiety. I did

salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a nice dinner out

yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i was ruminating on

it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to know what button of

mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you all help me uncover

it?

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Elle-I mean Jesus-that was HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh.

> > > >

> > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My codependant

nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000 miles away from

them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older sister even if it

meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling problems. For my

own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and discuss only

surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise. Nada informed

me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking account in case

something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of money here as either

nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of nada's property.

Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds

like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call from nada that

sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have more gambling

money while they were both there. When they came home sister didn't cover

nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security money for the

month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to

gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the

years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It

was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over

the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and me.

Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you so

much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her checking

account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I am the

anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a few years

back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened. My sister

is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She would of

never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best friend,

they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has selective

memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme anxiety. I did

salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a nice dinner out

yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i was ruminating on

it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to know what button of

mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you all help me uncover

it?

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Elle-I mean Jesus-that was HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh.

> > > >

> > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My codependant

nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000 miles away from

them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older sister even if it

meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling problems. For my

own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and discuss only

surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise. Nada informed

me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking account in case

something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of money here as either

nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of nada's property.

Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds

like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call from nada that

sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have more gambling

money while they were both there. When they came home sister didn't cover

nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security money for the

month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to

gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the

years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It

was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over

the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and me.

Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you so

much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her checking

account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I am the

anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a few years

back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened. My sister

is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She would of

never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best friend,

they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has selective

memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme anxiety. I did

salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a nice dinner out

yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i was ruminating on

it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to know what button of

mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you all help me uncover

it?

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Ellie said, " So I am really like te personal/impersonal daughter of mankind.

HA!! Isn't that the kind of responsibility we put on ourselves?! We should

create our own personal bobble head line!

> > > >

> > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My codependant

nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000 miles away from

them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older sister even if it

meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling problems. For my

own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and discuss only

surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise. Nada informed

me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking account in case

something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of money here as either

nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of nada's property.

Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds

like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call from nada that

sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have more gambling

money while they were both there. When they came home sister didn't cover

nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security money for the

month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to

gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the

years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It

was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over

the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and me.

Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you so

much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her checking

account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I am the

anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a few years

back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened. My sister

is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She would of

never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best friend,

they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has selective

memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme anxiety. I did

salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a nice dinner out

yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i was ruminating on

it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to know what button of

mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you all help me uncover

it?

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

HF and Elle

Thank you so much for all your kind words and advice. NO MO money to nada. I

had cut my sada off many years ago. She in fact had written $20,000 in checks

to a casino (they bounced). They took her checks because in the past she had won

big money (and gave it all back.) When she asked me to cover the debt I said no

way. It's another big family secret. I am pretty sure nada covered it with

home equity. Oh crap I am going to stop saying pretty sure. Sada didn't go to

jail for kiting so nada must of bailed her out and paid off the casinos. For

years nada would mail me cheesy little gifts she had gotten from the casinos for

her points. You know crappy clock radios and watches. But you are right Elle,

nada would have had to stop bailing sada out if there had never been any help

forthcoming from me. Thanks for the advice.

(Could it be?)

Satan the dark child.

>

> Carol and Elle!

>

> Pffffft! I just spewed coffee all over my computer screen. Thank you for that

Elle! OMG too funny!

>

> Carol, my dear. You are such a wonderful, kind, and giving soul. It's too bad

you were misplaced into your wretched FOO. Your intentions are in the right

place, but as you already know the FOG is closely associated with your scenario.

>

> Firstly, my advice is to never give a cent to your nada ever again for any

reason whatsoever. Even if she claims to be starving - a little fear and hunger

goes a long way to enablers. The previous advice regarding what to say in these

situations is spot on, try and use it if you feel brave enough. It's not your

job to rescue the deadbeats, because they'll never change and you can't be broke

enough to solve their problems. It's a black hole of need my dear, from which

you MUST extract yourself.

>

> I promise you will feel better once you've empowered yourself to do this.

Strength comes from setting boundaries and the FOG will dissipate through your

own empowerment, I promise. If you protect yourself and force yourself to love

*you* enough to do so... the clarity will come. You've worked your butt off and

have earned the right to be happy. Your FOO's dramas, illness' and addictions

can only penetrate your emotional well being if you choose it. So consciously

start rejecting every piece of garbage they fling your way. Especially where

co-dependent issues are concerned. You need to be autonomous, this is your life.

>

> If it's any consolation my FOO is the same. Both of my adult brothers have

abused nada's credit cards, home, and finances many, many times over. Yet she

continues to allow and even facilitate all of this. Then nada cries to me to

save her. THIS IS INSANITY! Like you, for many years I did give her money, a

lot, and inevitably it would get syphoned down to the abusive brothers. I

stopped, I just stopped. Period.

>

> You can do it. Hugs from HF

>

[Guest guest]

Yikes! My lap top stopped working! Could it be.......? (nada?)

> > > > >

> > > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My codependant

nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000 miles away from

them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older sister even if it

meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling problems. For my

own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and discuss only

surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise. Nada informed

me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking account in case

something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of money here as either

nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of nada's property.

Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds

like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call from nada that

sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have more gambling

money while they were both there. When they came home sister didn't cover

nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security money for the

month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to

gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the

years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It

was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over

the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and me.

Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you so

much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her checking

account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I am the

anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a few years

back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened. My sister

is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She would of

never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best friend,

they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has selective

memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme anxiety. I did

salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a nice dinner out

yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i was ruminating on

it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to know what button of

mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you all help me uncover

it?

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

LOL

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My

codependant nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000

miles away from them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older

sister even if it meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling

problems. For my own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and

discuss only surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise.

Nada informed me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking

account in case something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of

money here as either nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of

nada's property. Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on

her own. Sounds like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call

from nada that sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have

more gambling money while they were both there. When they came home sister

didn't cover nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security

money for the month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give

her money to gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many

times over the years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air

conditioners. It was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her

home equity over the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but

also she was probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between

them and me. Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far,

thank you so much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to

her checking account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God.....

I am the anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a

few years back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened.

My sister is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She

would of never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best

friend, they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has

selective memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme

anxiety. I did salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a

nice dinner out yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i

was ruminating on it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to

know what button of mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you

all help me uncover it?

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Elle and Carol - I was just watching a History Channel program about the

Anti-Christ yesterday. I kept thinking you'd both be interviewed, but the

program didn't mention either one of you by name. I think you need to call

them, or send some locusts or something.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My

codependant nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000

miles away from them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older

sister even if it meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling

problems. For my own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and

discuss only surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise.

Nada informed me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking

account in case something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of

money here as either nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of

nada's property. Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on

her own. Sounds like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call

from nada that sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have

more gambling money while they were both there. When they came home sister

didn't cover nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security

money for the month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give

her money to gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many

times over the years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air

conditioners. It was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her

home equity over the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but

also she was probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between

them and me. Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far,

thank you so much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to

her checking account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God.....

I am the anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a

few years back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened.

My sister is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She

would of never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best

friend, they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has

selective memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme

anxiety. I did salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a

nice dinner out yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i

was ruminating on it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to

know what button of mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you

all help me uncover it?

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Elle and Carol - I was just watching a History Channel program about the

Anti-Christ yesterday. I kept thinking you'd both be interviewed, but the

program didn't mention either one of you by name. I think you need to call

them, or send some locusts or something.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My

codependant nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000

miles away from them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older

sister even if it meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling

problems. For my own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and

discuss only surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise.

Nada informed me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking

account in case something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of

money here as either nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of

nada's property. Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on

her own. Sounds like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call

from nada that sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have

more gambling money while they were both there. When they came home sister

didn't cover nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security

money for the month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give

her money to gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many

times over the years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air

conditioners. It was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her

home equity over the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but

also she was probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between

them and me. Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far,

thank you so much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to

her checking account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God.....

I am the anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a

few years back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened.

My sister is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She

would of never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best

friend, they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has

selective memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme

anxiety. I did salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a

nice dinner out yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i

was ruminating on it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to

know what button of mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you

all help me uncover it?

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Elle and Carol - I was just watching a History Channel program about the

Anti-Christ yesterday. I kept thinking you'd both be interviewed, but the

program didn't mention either one of you by name. I think you need to call

them, or send some locusts or something.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My

codependant nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000

miles away from them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older

sister even if it meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling

problems. For my own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and

discuss only surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise.

Nada informed me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking

account in case something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of

money here as either nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of

nada's property. Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on

her own. Sounds like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call

from nada that sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have

more gambling money while they were both there. When they came home sister

didn't cover nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security

money for the month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give

her money to gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many

times over the years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air

conditioners. It was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her

home equity over the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but

also she was probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between

them and me. Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far,

thank you so much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to

her checking account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God.....

I am the anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a

few years back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened.

My sister is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She

would of never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best

friend, they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has

selective memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme

anxiety. I did salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a

nice dinner out yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i

was ruminating on it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to

know what button of mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you

all help me uncover it?

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

haha tracy,

my laptop got that virus (the xp/mcafee attack thing). It is still messed up.

uh oh......

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My

codependant nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000

miles away from them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my older

sister even if it meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major gambling

problems. For my own sanity I try to keep my conversations with nada limited and

discuss only surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it takes me by surprise.

Nada informed me that she was going to put my sister's name on her checking

account in case something happened to her. Now we are not talking a lot of

money here as either nada or sister have already gambled all the equity out of

nada's property. Basicly we are talking nada's social security. Nada lives on

her own. Sounds like a reasonable idea right? A few years ago I got a call

from nada that sister had her write checks at the casino so sister would have

more gambling money while they were both there. When they came home sister

didn't cover nada's checks (about 1500.00) and nada was out her social security

money for the month. So I sent nada the money with strict warnings. " Never give

her money to gamble again. " She agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many

times over the years. Paying property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air

conditioners. It was only recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her

home equity over the years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but

also she was probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between

them and me. Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far,

thank you so much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to

her checking account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God.....

I am the anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a

few years back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never happened.

My sister is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for nada. She

would of never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my SO and best

friend, they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it or has

selective memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have extreme

anxiety. I did salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted and had a

nice dinner out yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't feel like i

was ruminating on it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I would like to

know what button of mine this pushed that brought me back to the FOG. Can you

all help me uncover it?

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It's not quite a virus, but a missing script the update had, which caused it

to think that a normal Windows file was a virus. I believe McAfee has a

revised update you can download that fixes it. You may have to reboot into

Safe Mode in order for it to work and download...not a geek, but it can be

restored to normal

~Holly

On Thu, Apr 22, 2010 at 11:58 AM, carolwhite398 wrote:

>

>

> haha tracy,

> my laptop got that virus (the xp/mcafee attack thing). It is still messed

> up. uh oh......

>

>

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My

> codependant nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000

> miles away from them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my

> older sister even if it meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major

> gambling problems. For my own sanity I try to keep my conversations with

> nada limited and discuss only surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it

> takes me by surprise. Nada informed me that she was going to put my sister's

> name on her checking account in case something happened to her. Now we are

> not talking a lot of money here as either nada or sister have already

> gambled all the equity out of nada's property. Basicly we are talking nada's

> social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds like a reasonable idea right?

> A few years ago I got a call from nada that sister had her write checks at

> the casino so sister would have more gambling money while they were both

> there. When they came home sister didn't cover nada's checks (about 1500.00)

> and nada was out her social security money for the month. So I sent nada the

> money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to gamble again. " She

> agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the years. Paying

> property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It was only

> recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over the

> years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

> probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and

> me. Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you

> so much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her

> checking account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I

> am the anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a

> few years back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never

> happened. My sister is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for

> nada. She would of never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my

> SO and best friend, they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it

> or has selective memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have

> extreme anxiety. I did salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted

> and had a nice dinner out yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't

> feel like i was ruminating on it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I

> would like to know what button of mine this pushed that brought me back to

> the FOG. Can you all help me uncover it?

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I restored windows but my mcafee is totally destroyed. Won't open, update,

nada.(haha) and my addresses in my favorites are gone too. Names are there, no

addresses. I am NOT a computer geek!

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago. My

> > codependant nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live 2000

> > miles away from them both. My nada always expected me to take care of my

> > older sister even if it meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had major

> > gambling problems. For my own sanity I try to keep my conversations with

> > nada limited and discuss only surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday, it

> > takes me by surprise. Nada informed me that she was going to put my sister's

> > name on her checking account in case something happened to her. Now we are

> > not talking a lot of money here as either nada or sister have already

> > gambled all the equity out of nada's property. Basicly we are talking nada's

> > social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds like a reasonable idea right?

> > A few years ago I got a call from nada that sister had her write checks at

> > the casino so sister would have more gambling money while they were both

> > there. When they came home sister didn't cover nada's checks (about 1500.00)

> > and nada was out her social security money for the month. So I sent nada the

> > money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to gamble again. " She

> > agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the years. Paying

> > property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It was only

> > recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over the

> > years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

> > probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them and

> > me. Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank you

> > so much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to her

> > checking account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my God..... I

> > am the anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you remember a

> > few years back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never

> > happened. My sister is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does everything for

> > nada. She would of never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask my

> > SO and best friend, they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is loosing it

> > or has selective memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I have

> > extreme anxiety. I did salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I wanted

> > and had a nice dinner out yet last night I could not get to sleep. I don't

> > feel like i was ruminating on it just that the adrenal rush kept me awake. I

> > would like to know what button of mine this pushed that brought me back to

> > the FOG. Can you all help me uncover it?

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

ugh! Have you contacted McAfee about that? but remembering back when I used

to use Windows, if it's gone, it's probably gone. Unless you backed up your

files elsewhere...

I use a Macbook now and still back up as often as I remember just in case...

oooh....was my dad unhappy I converted, lol!

On Thu, Apr 22, 2010 at 12:35 PM, carolwhite398 wrote:

>

>

> I restored windows but my mcafee is totally destroyed. Won't open, update,

> nada.(haha) and my addresses in my favorites are gone too. Names are there,

> no addresses. I am NOT a computer geek!

>

>

>

> > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > I am a KO of a BPD father who died about 20 years ago.

> My

> > > codependant nada is nearly 90 years old. My sister is also BPD. I live

> 2000

> > > miles away from them both. My nada always expected me to take care of

> my

> > > older sister even if it meant my own sacrifice. My BPD sister has had

> major

> > > gambling problems. For my own sanity I try to keep my conversations

> with

> > > nada limited and discuss only surface stuff. Sometimes, like yesterday,

> it

> > > takes me by surprise. Nada informed me that she was going to put my

> sister's

> > > name on her checking account in case something happened to her. Now we

> are

> > > not talking a lot of money here as either nada or sister have already

> > > gambled all the equity out of nada's property. Basicly we are talking

> nada's

> > > social security. Nada lives on her own. Sounds like a reasonable idea

> right?

> > > A few years ago I got a call from nada that sister had her write checks

> at

> > > the casino so sister would have more gambling money while they were

> both

> > > there. When they came home sister didn't cover nada's checks (about

> 1500.00)

> > > and nada was out her social security money for the month. So I sent

> nada the

> > > money with strict warnings. " Never give her money to gamble again. " She

> > > agreed and on we went. I've helped nada many times over the years.

> Paying

> > > property taxes, repairing cars, fixing roofs, air conditioners. It was

> only

> > > recently that I found out that nada had maxed out her home equity over

> the

> > > years. I suspect nada might of given more to sister but also she was

> > > probably gambling too. So there is the shroud of secrecy between them

> and

> > > me. Who knows what the full truth is? (If you have read this far, thank

> you

> > > so much!) So yesterday when nada said she was going to add sister to

> her

> > > checking account I asked, " Are you sure you can trust her? " Oh my

> God..... I

> > > am the anti-christ for asking this question. I ask her don't you

> remember a

> > > few years back...... She says no she doesn't remember that. It never

> > > happened. My sister is the most wonderful daughter ever. Does

> everything for

> > > nada. She would of never done that. I think crap am I loosing it? I ask

> my

> > > SO and best friend, they confirm, yes it happened. Either nada is

> loosing it

> > > or has selective memory. The point of all this is that afterwards I

> have

> > > extreme anxiety. I did salvage my day. I went on to accomplish what I

> wanted

> > > and had a nice dinner out yet last night I could not get to sleep. I

> don't

> > > feel like i was ruminating on it just that the adrenal rush kept me

> awake. I

> > > would like to know what button of mine this pushed that brought me back

> to

> > > the FOG. Can you all help me uncover it?

> > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >