Re: Re: Problem in the Park

[Guest guest]

And yet, my son is deaf and doesn't need to hear to have a wonderful,

meaningful life. I am hearing, and enjoy being so, since I have been

from birth. My son has been deaf since birth and has told me, when

taking out his hearing aids after a long day of being bombarded with

sounds, " I like the silence. " I don't think hearing or not hearing is in

competition with each other. I also don't believe hearing is something

all people wish to aspire to, at least not ALL of the time. It has a lot

of meaning for me, since I am hearing. But it's not the end-all, be-all

of life, or the only thing that makes life worth living.

On Wed, 10 Oct 2001 13:20:34 EDT mewilsey@... writes:

> What I do when someone says something horrible is that I come up the

> most

> stinging retort that I can think of for the next time it happens.

> And of

> course by the rule of 's law if you are prepared it won't

> happen.

> My favorite one is when they say :

> " Deaf childern don't need to hear they live prefectly wonderful

> lives without

> it "

> My stinging retort:

> " If you really believe that: by all mean have your cochlea removed.

> No doubt

> Dr.Kavorkian would be thrilled for the chance to preform that type

> of surgery "

>

[Guest guest]

And yet, my son is deaf and doesn't need to hear to have a wonderful,

meaningful life. I am hearing, and enjoy being so, since I have been

from birth. My son has been deaf since birth and has told me, when

taking out his hearing aids after a long day of being bombarded with

sounds, " I like the silence. " I don't think hearing or not hearing is in

competition with each other. I also don't believe hearing is something

all people wish to aspire to, at least not ALL of the time. It has a lot

of meaning for me, since I am hearing. But it's not the end-all, be-all

of life, or the only thing that makes life worth living.

On Wed, 10 Oct 2001 13:20:34 EDT mewilsey@... writes:

> What I do when someone says something horrible is that I come up the

> most

> stinging retort that I can think of for the next time it happens.

> And of

> course by the rule of 's law if you are prepared it won't

> happen.

> My favorite one is when they say :

> " Deaf childern don't need to hear they live prefectly wonderful

> lives without

> it "

> My stinging retort:

> " If you really believe that: by all mean have your cochlea removed.

> No doubt

> Dr.Kavorkian would be thrilled for the chance to preform that type

> of surgery "

>

[Guest guest]

> My son has been deaf since birth and has told me, when

> taking out his hearing aids after a long day of being bombarded with

> sounds, " I like the silence. "

Yes! Even my son, who values his hearing very highly, likes to have his quiet

time in the

mornings, and again after his bath at night. And, I'll have to admit, that

sometimes I

envy his ability to shut off the sounds. ;-)

Kay

[Guest guest]

> My son has been deaf since birth and has told me, when

> taking out his hearing aids after a long day of being bombarded with

> sounds, " I like the silence. "

Yes! Even my son, who values his hearing very highly, likes to have his quiet

time in the

mornings, and again after his bath at night. And, I'll have to admit, that

sometimes I

envy his ability to shut off the sounds. ;-)

Kay

[Guest guest]

I think we attract more flies with honey and using opportunities to educate

people will make you feel better at the end of the day rather than

justified. (and does feeling justified really make you feel better, or do

you just think of other things you can say?)

People are afraid of things they don't know. Whether we choose to like it or

not, deafness is still " different " . of course we hurt for our kids - but if

you accept the stares in a different manner, you'll have people attracted to

you and to the way you and your child communicates. It took me some time

also to learn this - and because of my primarily signing daughter, many

people have taken the opportunity to learn ASL.

M.

>

>Reply-To: Listen-Up

>To: <Listen-Up >

>Subject: Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:00:54 -0400

>

>I love your attitude!!

>

>Debbie

>Mark's mom

> Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>

>

> What I do when someone says something horrible is that I come up the

>most

> stinging retort that I can think of for the next time it happens. And

>of

> course by the rule of 's law if you are prepared it won't happen.

> My favorite one is when they say :

> " Deaf childern don't need to hear they live prefectly wonderful lives

>without

> it "

> My stinging retort:

> " If you really believe that: by all mean have your cochlea removed. No

>doubt

> Dr.Kavorkian would be thrilled for the chance to preform that type of

>surgery "

>

> Or when they say:

> " It really seems like he is hearing " (when his equiptment is off)

> I enjoy pointing out:

> " Deafness has not impaired his periferal vision "

>

> Or when he is throwing his body all over the place making it imposible

>to

> hold him and of course everyone is staring wide-eyeballed at me like

>either I

> am a liberal parent of a spoiled brat or a evil parent of a poor

>helpless

> soul or a pathetic parent of an obviously deranged child.

> I just look at my husband and say real loud so they can hear " I told

>you not

> to let him sit there eating sugar out of the bowl with a spoon like

>that "

> and he'll say something back like " I know, honey, but it kept him quiet

>for a

> whole hour and your hangover was so bad I just didn't want him to bug

>you. "

> So then we can just laugh all the way home.

>

> when they ask " Is he a good baby? "

> I say " define 'Good " , some are silly enough to try saying something

>like

> " does he sleep through the night and eat well for you? " , so I say

> " nope, he

> must be evil "

>

> Ok, I know I sound terribly mean, but What it really boils down to with

>me is

> that I just have precious little time. I have to spend it well. I need

>to

> use my energy and time in the most effective and efficient way

>possible.

> And so I just don't have room my life to let anyone be a drain on my

>time and

> energy.

>

>

> (Mom of Liam 10/00 N24C)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think we attract more flies with honey and using opportunities to educate

people will make you feel better at the end of the day rather than

justified. (and does feeling justified really make you feel better, or do

you just think of other things you can say?)

People are afraid of things they don't know. Whether we choose to like it or

not, deafness is still " different " . of course we hurt for our kids - but if

you accept the stares in a different manner, you'll have people attracted to

you and to the way you and your child communicates. It took me some time

also to learn this - and because of my primarily signing daughter, many

people have taken the opportunity to learn ASL.

M.

>

>Reply-To: Listen-Up

>To: <Listen-Up >

>Subject: Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:00:54 -0400

>

>I love your attitude!!

>

>Debbie

>Mark's mom

> Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>

>

> What I do when someone says something horrible is that I come up the

>most

> stinging retort that I can think of for the next time it happens. And

>of

> course by the rule of 's law if you are prepared it won't happen.

> My favorite one is when they say :

> " Deaf childern don't need to hear they live prefectly wonderful lives

>without

> it "

> My stinging retort:

> " If you really believe that: by all mean have your cochlea removed. No

>doubt

> Dr.Kavorkian would be thrilled for the chance to preform that type of

>surgery "

>

> Or when they say:

> " It really seems like he is hearing " (when his equiptment is off)

> I enjoy pointing out:

> " Deafness has not impaired his periferal vision "

>

> Or when he is throwing his body all over the place making it imposible

>to

> hold him and of course everyone is staring wide-eyeballed at me like

>either I

> am a liberal parent of a spoiled brat or a evil parent of a poor

>helpless

> soul or a pathetic parent of an obviously deranged child.

> I just look at my husband and say real loud so they can hear " I told

>you not

> to let him sit there eating sugar out of the bowl with a spoon like

>that "

> and he'll say something back like " I know, honey, but it kept him quiet

>for a

> whole hour and your hangover was so bad I just didn't want him to bug

>you. "

> So then we can just laugh all the way home.

>

> when they ask " Is he a good baby? "

> I say " define 'Good " , some are silly enough to try saying something

>like

> " does he sleep through the night and eat well for you? " , so I say

> " nope, he

> must be evil "

>

> Ok, I know I sound terribly mean, but What it really boils down to with

>me is

> that I just have precious little time. I have to spend it well. I need

>to

> use my energy and time in the most effective and efficient way

>possible.

> And so I just don't have room my life to let anyone be a drain on my

>time and

> energy.

>

>

> (Mom of Liam 10/00 N24C)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

just one other thing...I just read that people are saying " horrible " things

to you (they might not think they are being horrible)...if so, then you're

more justified in stinging retorts...and I apologize IF I misread you.

>

>Reply-To: Listen-Up

>To: <Listen-Up >

>Subject: Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:00:54 -0400

>

>I love your attitude!!

>

>Debbie

>Mark's mom

> Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>

>

> What I do when someone says something horrible is that I come up the

>most

> stinging retort that I can think of for the next time it happens. And

>of

> course by the rule of 's law if you are prepared it won't happen.

> My favorite one is when they say :

> " Deaf childern don't need to hear they live prefectly wonderful lives

>without

> it "

> My stinging retort:

> " If you really believe that: by all mean have your cochlea removed. No

>doubt

> Dr.Kavorkian would be thrilled for the chance to preform that type of

>surgery "

>

> Or when they say:

> " It really seems like he is hearing " (when his equiptment is off)

> I enjoy pointing out:

> " Deafness has not impaired his periferal vision "

>

> Or when he is throwing his body all over the place making it imposible

>to

> hold him and of course everyone is staring wide-eyeballed at me like

>either I

> am a liberal parent of a spoiled brat or a evil parent of a poor

>helpless

> soul or a pathetic parent of an obviously deranged child.

> I just look at my husband and say real loud so they can hear " I told

>you not

> to let him sit there eating sugar out of the bowl with a spoon like

>that "

> and he'll say something back like " I know, honey, but it kept him quiet

>for a

> whole hour and your hangover was so bad I just didn't want him to bug

>you. "

> So then we can just laugh all the way home.

>

> when they ask " Is he a good baby? "

> I say " define 'Good " , some are silly enough to try saying something

>like

> " does he sleep through the night and eat well for you? " , so I say

> " nope, he

> must be evil "

>

> Ok, I know I sound terribly mean, but What it really boils down to with

>me is

> that I just have precious little time. I have to spend it well. I need

>to

> use my energy and time in the most effective and efficient way

>possible.

> And so I just don't have room my life to let anyone be a drain on my

>time and

> energy.

>

>

> (Mom of Liam 10/00 N24C)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

just one other thing...I just read that people are saying " horrible " things

to you (they might not think they are being horrible)...if so, then you're

more justified in stinging retorts...and I apologize IF I misread you.

>

>Reply-To: Listen-Up

>To: <Listen-Up >

>Subject: Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:00:54 -0400

>

>I love your attitude!!

>

>Debbie

>Mark's mom

> Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>

>

> What I do when someone says something horrible is that I come up the

>most

> stinging retort that I can think of for the next time it happens. And

>of

> course by the rule of 's law if you are prepared it won't happen.

> My favorite one is when they say :

> " Deaf childern don't need to hear they live prefectly wonderful lives

>without

> it "

> My stinging retort:

> " If you really believe that: by all mean have your cochlea removed. No

>doubt

> Dr.Kavorkian would be thrilled for the chance to preform that type of

>surgery "

>

> Or when they say:

> " It really seems like he is hearing " (when his equiptment is off)

> I enjoy pointing out:

> " Deafness has not impaired his periferal vision "

>

> Or when he is throwing his body all over the place making it imposible

>to

> hold him and of course everyone is staring wide-eyeballed at me like

>either I

> am a liberal parent of a spoiled brat or a evil parent of a poor

>helpless

> soul or a pathetic parent of an obviously deranged child.

> I just look at my husband and say real loud so they can hear " I told

>you not

> to let him sit there eating sugar out of the bowl with a spoon like

>that "

> and he'll say something back like " I know, honey, but it kept him quiet

>for a

> whole hour and your hangover was so bad I just didn't want him to bug

>you. "

> So then we can just laugh all the way home.

>

> when they ask " Is he a good baby? "

> I say " define 'Good " , some are silly enough to try saying something

>like

> " does he sleep through the night and eat well for you? " , so I say

> " nope, he

> must be evil "

>

> Ok, I know I sound terribly mean, but What it really boils down to with

>me is

> that I just have precious little time. I have to spend it well. I need

>to

> use my energy and time in the most effective and efficient way

>possible.

> And so I just don't have room my life to let anyone be a drain on my

>time and

> energy.

>

>

> (Mom of Liam 10/00 N24C)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

just one other thing...I just read that people are saying " horrible " things

to you (they might not think they are being horrible)...if so, then you're

more justified in stinging retorts...and I apologize IF I misread you.

>

>Reply-To: Listen-Up

>To: <Listen-Up >

>Subject: Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:00:54 -0400

>

>I love your attitude!!

>

>Debbie

>Mark's mom

> Re: Re: Problem in the Park

>

>

> What I do when someone says something horrible is that I come up the

>most

> stinging retort that I can think of for the next time it happens. And

>of

> course by the rule of 's law if you are prepared it won't happen.

> My favorite one is when they say :

> " Deaf childern don't need to hear they live prefectly wonderful lives

>without

> it "

> My stinging retort:

> " If you really believe that: by all mean have your cochlea removed. No

>doubt

> Dr.Kavorkian would be thrilled for the chance to preform that type of

>surgery "

>

> Or when they say:

> " It really seems like he is hearing " (when his equiptment is off)

> I enjoy pointing out:

> " Deafness has not impaired his periferal vision "

>

> Or when he is throwing his body all over the place making it imposible

>to

> hold him and of course everyone is staring wide-eyeballed at me like

>either I

> am a liberal parent of a spoiled brat or a evil parent of a poor

>helpless

> soul or a pathetic parent of an obviously deranged child.

> I just look at my husband and say real loud so they can hear " I told

>you not

> to let him sit there eating sugar out of the bowl with a spoon like

>that "

> and he'll say something back like " I know, honey, but it kept him quiet

>for a

> whole hour and your hangover was so bad I just didn't want him to bug

>you. "

> So then we can just laugh all the way home.

>

> when they ask " Is he a good baby? "

> I say " define 'Good " , some are silly enough to try saying something

>like

> " does he sleep through the night and eat well for you? " , so I say

> " nope, he

> must be evil "

>

> Ok, I know I sound terribly mean, but What it really boils down to with

>me is

> that I just have precious little time. I have to spend it well. I need

>to

> use my energy and time in the most effective and efficient way

>possible.

> And so I just don't have room my life to let anyone be a drain on my

>time and

> energy.

>

>

> (Mom of Liam 10/00 N24C)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> She explained the problem, cracked a joke and set the woman at ease in 30

seconds flat.

It was wonderful to see.<

I guess you don't have to worry about teaching Petya to advocate for herself.

Sounds like

she's doing just fine. ;-)

Hugs,

Kay