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it seems to be utilized by personality disorder, but is not exclusive to it. It

is mentioned in various contexts from what we experience here, to divorce, types

of spousal abuse...etc.

Basically it comes down to manipulation, projecting, detouring and rerouting so

that the sane person starts to wonder if they heard what they think just heard,

if what happened just happened, and how it is that they get slammed for feeling

a way that they do not actually feel but the abuser says they feel.

I didn't make the connection till just now when I went looking up the term, but

my post on my mother's wacko idea of sanity, seems to illustrate it (at least

for me). If it helps, you can find it here:

http://www.chickswithscars.com/2010/03/avatar-of-inglorious-basterd.html

Are you experiencing Crazy-Making? Or did you just run across the term???

Sincerely,

Elle

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> Does anyone know what the term crazy-making means and is it a term directed

> solely at people with BPD?

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Crazy making behaviors are those to which the normal reactions are

behaviors that , taken in their own right, would be crazy. It does not

apply exclusively to BP s. There are lots of crazy making behaviors,

things that push other peoples buttons, and make a normally fairly sane

and stable man or woman a raving , frothing at the mouth maniac.

As you will see from that last, while BP s do not have a corner on the

market, they are certainly past Master s of the art!

If you have a BP in your life, and are not crazy, then you must be

crazy.

There, go figure that one out!

Doug

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> Does anyone know what the term crazy-making means and is it a term

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Doug, you know what gets me about the BP crazy-making?

You are always the bad guy.

Friends, family, co-workers...whatever. People are so oblivious to the damage

that can be reeked on another human being just by words alone. There are the

platitudes and dismissals, and why are you being so sensitive? You really do

begin to wonder if you are nuts...because no one else gets it.

That whole situation I had with my Nada when she was here over the movies

thing...it was the most OBVIOUS and nutty thing she was saying and because there

was no time for her to change subjects and deflect, it was RIGHT THERE in my

face. I couldn't believe it...and I had a witness!

Anyway, point is...crazy-making is not exclusive, but it is so FULLY utilized

with these people.

Elle

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" Crazy-making " means illogical, irrational, insane, or toxic behaviors that its

difficult if not impossible for a normal, rational person to deal with.

Being put in the classic " no-win situation " is crazy-making. For example: if

you are told to get a project done within a certain time-frame AND within a

certain budget, but then you are told that the project ALSO has to get approval

from dozens of individuals at each stage of development in order to go forward;

that's a no-win scenario because the directives are mutually incompatible.

Being told that your perceptions are wrong is crazy-making. That's the basic

idea of the old film " Gaslight " . (We get the term " gaslighting " from this

movie.)

A sociopath man marries a young girl and proceeds to deliberately drive her

insane by telling her that there is nothing wrong with the lights in the room,

the lights are fine, when they are actually being dimmed. He takes little

trinkets and possessions from her and relocates them, then when she can't find

the trinkets he accuses her of stealing things and not remembering that she did

it.

In front of his wife, he deliberately flirts with the slutty servant girl he

hired and then when his wife accuses him of flirting he acts insulted and

says, " No, you're just imagining it, what's wrong with you? "

His plan all along was to marry this girl only to gain total possession of her

house, where he knows a great treasure in jewels is hidden; she knows nothing

about the jewels and starts to believe she really must be going insane. Great

movie!

-Annie

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> Does anyone know what the term crazy-making means and is it a term directed

> solely at people with BPD?

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Annie...I think I'm afraid of your movie. OMG. I lived with that guy. Every

six months we were going to move or be transferred and it was my job to make

sure all the plans were taken care of, although he was the only one who could

determine if we were in fact moving. I stayed packed for years on end. THEN he

was irritated with me because I would not unpack my things and get comfortable.

Ugh! No, I think I have to pass....but I bet it's brilliantly done.

Elle

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Annie...I think I'm afraid of your movie. OMG. I lived with that guy. Every

six months we were going to move or be transferred and it was my job to make

sure all the plans were taken care of, although he was the only one who could

determine if we were in fact moving. I stayed packed for years on end. THEN he

was irritated with me because I would not unpack my things and get comfortable.

Ugh! No, I think I have to pass....but I bet it's brilliantly done.

Elle

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> > Does anyone know what the term crazy-making means and is it a term directed

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I am NOT the bad guy! YOU are the bad guy. You are ALWAYS the bad guy,

you always try to do this to me. Why are you so mean to me. You never

really loved me! Wait , dont go, I m sorry its not my fault.

Oh.....picks at my sleeve. Look at that. A Flea.

LOL. Oh, I just crack me up.

Doug

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Thank you to everyone who explained this to me. I am also glad it doesn't

pertain to just BPD. I asked for a couple of reasons, but one was very

personal, lol.

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Thank you to everyone who explained this to me. I am also glad it doesn't

pertain to just BPD. I asked for a couple of reasons, but one was very

personal, lol.

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The insanity we endure. I think sometimes it can indeed make us a little nuts.

I so know that dialog. *deep breath*

I have noticed that I have quite a sense of humor...unless you are really

listening to what I am saying...and then it's just plain freaking scary.

You ever notice some of us are tough as freaking nails...it's no wonder why. If

it's always your fault...ah well you know what I'm talking about.

:)L

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" ... just plain freaking scary! "

Hell yeah!

My humor isn't because I'm just so over the top brilliant... it stems from the

fact that I can spot crazy a mile out and make light of the impending doom via

the human condition and zero in on the target to blast it and keep me safe.

Most people find that wit brilliant and enlightened... I call it survival.

Lynnette

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Call it what you want Lynette,

I think it s bloody brilliant!

Doug

and freaking scary, come to think of it.

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Elle,

If we were not tough as freakin nails, we d be dead or totally

dysfunctional. And yea, we ALL know that friggin dialogue.

The bad thing about becoming tough as nails, is that somewhere part of

us that should be tender, and caring, sort of dies.

Doug

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