Guest guest Posted April 12, 2010 Report Share Posted April 12, 2010 Hi, The way you describe your mother sounds very much like mine, esp the moodiness, grudges, anxiety, panic, depression, and the paranoia...I probably should've just listed which characteristics she *doesn't* have! She has been manipulative and malicious, but not so much now that she's older. I stay in contact with my mother, but I have scaled it back substantially. We used to talk about 3 - 5 times a day and see each other at least once a week. Mind you, I am married, have kids, a full time job, etc., so this was a sacrifice for me, but in my mind, it was just something I " had " to do, b/c it was expected of me. Once I realized how much her craziness was eating me alive, I didn't even talk to her about it to say " from now on, this is how often I will be in touch with you... " Talking never works with her. She just tunes me out. I just did it. I called her just the one, brief call a day and still do and visit her a couple of times a month for no more than 2 hours, if that. At first, she bristled at this arrangement but I think/hope she's realized if this doesn't work for her, then she'll have to settle for the occasional visit. So I guess you have to ask yourself how much contact with her you can sanely live with. And within the times you have contact with her, how long will these visits/phone conversations be? You said it well, it really is chaos, and I realized it only when I stepped away from it. Good luck. Fiona > > Hi All, > > > My mom has a BPD and it's very challenging to deal with her moods . My close family members know she has some emotional problems but don't know about her condition. She keeps grudges for a long time. She seems fine for a while and then all of a sudden vindictive and she sees the other person manupulative and malicious. She has generalized anxiety, panic attacks and bouts of depression with paranoia at times too. I was wondering if anyone knows how to stay emotionally away from this chaos. Is there a way to stay emotionally disconnected? Any suggestions? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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