we are off to the west and the the wicked witch lives there too

[Guest guest]

Pacific Northwest that is.

Our little family of three will be going out to visit the Pacific

Northwest, where my husband has family (Idaho) and my bro and nada

live about an hours drive (with a ferry ride thrown in--my bro is

smart) apart.

At a dear aunt's advice I am thinking about not telling my nada we are

making the trip, until we actually arrive.

Our plan is to spend several (2-3) days with each family, and have

some of our own private adventures between the two family groups. As

yet, I have not figured out what to do with nada! I know we will not

stay at her and my dad's house. I suspect we might not be even invited

there, as it is a disaster zone--a two story house that is just too

big for two elderly adults. Likely we will have to meet in a public

place, because my nada is scared to go on the ferry to visit my

brother. She has not yet seen the house he had built a little over a

year ago, because she is terrified to take her car on the ferry!

When I made the plans to go out, I'd had hopes we would " try try

again " to find harmony with nada. I seem to have given up, and so has

my nada. Truth be told, I think I would be very happy not to see her.

Those emotions seem immutable. Really, I just want to get to know my

dad better and see him smile and finally learn about his wry sense of

humor. Aside from this sense that I would like to see my dad be able

to see my dad interact with my son and cousins, all I have left is

this sense of family obligation.

Our trip is a few months away, and in the Northwest weather can

interfere with the outdoor activities that we would normally want to

plan on. I usually let nada run the show, actually. But Nada likes

to go to brunch and talk turkey about the past that can never be

changed. My husband has said he won't go to brunch. What I would love

to do is plan something fun for us to go to a baseball game (my dad

would love it, and our family all like baseball. Except nada.)

Wondering if it is best to be spontaneous or have a plan for my

parents and just ask them to show up? And not care if nada will not

like baseball? If I send the boys to the baseball game and go to

lunch with nada, I will feel ripped off. And I will probably get

beaten up emotionally in a public place. If nada comes to the game

and can't focus, but just looks unhappy, no one would have fun, either.

You all probably can guess, nada won't likely allow her husband to go

anywhere without her?

These darn Catch-22's!