Re: Ang / / wow...long ramble

February 11, 2003

> Oh wouldn't that be nice Ang! I've been fiddling with my virtual

> model too since someone posted the website the other day and damn

> I'm gunna look great!! Jelousy of a virtual model is

> normal.........isn't it. LOL!!

>

......LOL Just make sure you start with the big sizes! I saved a

pic of my highest weight then one in ten pound intravals all the way

down to some rediculusly low number. I like being able see all the

ones I already made it past.

I got soaked the other night - snowy cold muddy wet. So, I am at my

mothers house (in their world everyone is a perfect size). So there

happened to be a box of cloths and stuff I brought over last year for

mom to put in a garage sale. I go through the box and find only 1

pair of pants...OMGosh, those things, once I wiggled into them and

tucked in the upper hip area, actualy looked --> (secretly I was

proud :-) The only shirt, which happens to go with the pants is

one of those one size fits all but it will stick to you like a wet

paper towel things. I couldn't believe it. I wasn't freaked out

about wearing it! Well, maybe a bit, one of those stand up strait

and suck in the gut for all your worth kind of things. I even went

INTO a gas station with it on! aAAAaaAANnnnddd....WITHOUT my coat on

to cover it up! Hehehehee, Ya it was cold, but I had to see what

reactions would be so I knew if it realy did look ok. Well, the guy

at the counter said if hubby didn't want to take me out in that

outfit he would! I mean this is something I thought I'd NEVER wear -

NEVER. My belly was even showing!

Ya know what else I did...I went to get my hair trimmed and even

slipped into a tanning bed! It hurts, but I do have a smiley face on

my tummy :-)

I do believe that loosing weight is starting to be expensive now.

I'm going crazy buying stuff that I'll never have a chance to wear.

(This is big for me, in the last 15 years I have only bought myself 2

pair of sneakers, sweat pants (always the next size up) when they are

on sale and my others are too small, stained and torn, and good will

t-shirts occassionaly.

I think I'm ready to go out now. I'm not there yet body wise, but my

brain is screaming for action!

This morning - back to 159, so happy. I loose to a new low and will

gain a few back, teeter there and then go back to the new low again

where I will usualy stay for a while. So, I'm back in the one

fifties. Ya know, when I hit one fourties I won't be embarrised to

tell my wieght :-)

I'm sorry to ramble guys - but I just can't believe it. Last night

it hit me - I'M NOT FAT ANYMORE !!!!! I'm not perfect, I'm not 20,

but I'm NOT fat! (um, I think.....you see.....here I go again. I

think - at 5'2 " , how can I be 159 pounds and not be fat? Now I'm

back to wondering again. Hmmm, well, I know I'm not obese anymore :-)

And to think when I came here I was 200 pounds and a size 16/18. Oh -

those pants, they were a sixe 7! I don't realy wear a size 7 (my

jeans are a 11)...they were stretchy and must have been sized wrong.

But who cares! IT SAID 7! I wanted so badly to wear that tag on the

outside and put a big arrow pointing to it.

Ok, enough ramble....I can't wait till you guys feel this. Some one

here says " nothing taists as good as thin feels " ....it's true, and I

tell myself that all the time.

Ang

February 11, 2003

how exciting. i can't wait to be a size ten. i will be so excited,

i don't even care about weight just my measurements, but my bust is

getting a little larger which is nice, and i feel like my stomach is

getting smaller at least a little. i feel more proportioned and feel

a little more confident i've still been feeling a little chunky but

it is definitely getting better. i'm very happy with how things are

moving along. i'm eating so much better and getting full a lot

faster. i'm drinking water without thinking twice, and feeling

guilty if i dont' go walking. today i couldn't because i was moving

furniture and then was going to on my berak but now we are kind of

having a mini blizzard. but i have been walking to desks instead of

calling which is ruining my stats at work but helping keep me

moving. i am going to be doing a ten minute video when i get home

and some crunches. did a little bad with snacks today. today was

sweets day for my team, i had one small scoop of ice cream which was

150 cals, and a cupcake also. for lunch did good, tuna salad sub,

for dinner had a turkey sandwich and breakfast was cereal and skim

milk. doing grocery shopping tomorrow. tonight going to make dinner

for tomorrow some potatoes and chicken baked, skinless and boneless.

anyways congrats on the loss and feelign so good.

February 11, 2003