Re: DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded/ reply to Akiba

[Guest guest]

Well, that is not true. You just were not sneakyand devious enough! You did not fail. You andRobbin will prevail.Love,nTo: MSersLife Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 1:47:25 PMSubject: RE: DEPRESSION,READ

MY STORY.long winded

Mostly I feel like I failed. Like I

just wasn't good enough

~*~Akiba~*~

Pragmatic Visionary

ISIS! ISIS! RA-RA-RA!

My Planet revolves around the Sun

My World revolves around My Son

-----Original

Message-----

From: A Thallas Jr <fathallas@collinsco m.net>

To: MSersLife@yahoogrou ps.com

Sent: Thu, 14 May 2009 3:31 pm

Subject: RE: DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded

A

divorce is just like a death, hon - you're still in the grieving

process.

It will get better - and then it will be "Thank you, Lord, that I got

free of THAT."

My first was abusive in pretty much every way there was, and I was

still so sad when the divorce was final - it's the death of a dream, I

think.

T

in WY

"You get a wonderful view from the point of no return..."

http://practical- blackwork. blogspot. com

http://www.flickr. com/photos/ liadains_ fancies

DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded

THIS IS MEANT TO BE A LITTLE ADVICE FOR ANYONE ON THE LIST THAT IS OR

HAS,SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION AND REALLY AIMED AT THE NEWER DX MEMBERS

HERE,MOST OF US THAT HAVE BEEN HERE AWHILE CAN ATTEST TO MY STORY AND WE ALL

HAVE OUR OWN.

IT WAS A BEAUTIFULL SUNNY SAT MORNING FEB 5 2000,I WAS A

FIREFIGHTER/ PARAMEDIC AT A STRUCTURE FIRE,I HAD MY CAREER GOING INTO FULL

SWING AND WAS LOVING WHAT I WAS DOING,I FELT AS THOUGH I FOUND MY TRUE

CALLING.AT 30 YEARS OLD WITH 12 YEARS ON THE JOB ALREADY,I HAD 4 BEAUTIFULL

CHILDREN AND A WIFE THATS I LOVED DEARLY,EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE WAS WHERE I

WANTED IT.THEN CAME THE FALL,I WAS ENTERING A BUILDING AND SLIPPED AND FELL

ON ONE STEP WITH ABOUT 70 LBS OF GEAR ON AND WENT BACKWARDS LANDING HARD ON

MY HEELS AND COLLAPSING IN THE SNOW AND HAVING EVERYTHING TURN WHITE FROM MY

FACE BEING BURRIED IN THE SNOW.

I FELT A SHOCKWAVE GO UP MY SPINAL CHORD AND IT SCARED THE HELL OUT OF

ME,BECAUSE I HAD HEARD OF THIS HAPPENING TO OTHER PEOPLE,WITH IN WEEKS I WAS

IN A WHEELCHAIR AND DX WITH TRANSVERSE MYELITIS AND GETTING NO ANSWERS,IVE

LEARNED THE FIRST YEAR IS TOTAL CONFUSION AND SPENT HOPING YOULL WALK

AGAIN,THE SECOND YEAR IS THE WORST BECAUSE REALITY SETS IN AND YOU START TO

REALISE THERES NO TURNING BACK AND YOU STRUGGLE TO ACCEPT WHAT HAS HAPPENED

TO YOU,THATS WHEN I FOUND THIS LIST AND REALISED THAT HEY! THERE IS OTHERS

OUT THERE WITH SIMILAR CONDITIONS,I CREDIT THE MEMBERS OF THIS LIST AND MY

CHILDREN FOR PREVENTING ME FROM TAKING MY LIFE AND I KNOW THERES MEMBERS ON

HERE THAT HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT,ITS THE HUMAN RESPONSE WHEN YOUVE HIT ROCK

BOTTOM.ITS NOT WORTH IT,THERES SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR AND LIGHT AT THE END OF

THE TUNNEL.

WELL HERE IS THE TWIST TO THIS STORY,I WAS DX WITH MS IN JUNE 2005 AND THIS

BROUGHT A WHOLE NEW SET OF FEELINGS AND CONFUSION AND AGAIN I CAME BACK TO

THIS LIST.

LAST MOTHERSDAY MYSELF AND MY WIFE OF 16 YEARS SEPERATED AND MY HEART WAS

CRUSHED,I NEVER HAD THE TIME TO DEAL WITH MY OWN HURT AND INTERNAL STRUGGLE

BECAUSE I WAS DEALING WITH MY KIDS PAIN,THE HOUSE I WAS LIVING IN WAS PUT UP

FOR SALE BY MY OWN FAMILY AND I WAS GIVEN 3 MONTHS TO FIND A PLACE TO LIVE 2

WEEKS AFTER THE SPLIT UP.IN OCTOBER IT FINALLY HIT ME FULL FORCE WHAT HAD

HAPPENED AND I WENT BACK INTO A DEEP STATE OF DEPRESSION AND COULDNT FIND

AWAY TO CLAW MYSELF OUT,I LOST 65 LBS AND MADE 13 TRIPS TO THE HOSPTIAL,BUT

I BEAT IT AND THIS IS MY POINT.IF YOUR AT ROCK BOTTOM THERES ONLY ONE WAY TO

GO AND THATS UP,I DUG MYSELF OUT TWICE WITH NO MEDICATION AND NO

SHRINK,THERE IS SUNLIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE BARREL YOU JUST NEED TO FIND A

WAY TO GET TO IT.YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO SO MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE AND ITS

ABOUT BEING TRUE YOURSELF AND THOSE THAT LOVE YOU.

AS FOR ME IM OK AND GOING DAY BY DAY,IM STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH MY WIFE AND

I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER,OUR KIDS ARE DOING GOOD AND COPING,I HAVE DAYS

WHEN MEMORIES HIT,BUT IVE LEARNED METHODS TO COPE WITH IT.IF ANYONE ON THIS

LIST NEEDS A VOICE OR SOMONE TO CHAT WITH.PLEASE CONTACT ME AT

dsrtstrm91yahoo (DOT) com .

DIPLOMACY DOES NOT

WORK WHEN DEALING WITH

NUT'S HELL BENT ON

DESTROYING US.

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