Re: DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded/ comments from n

[Guest guest]

Akiba, at least you did give birth to Robbin, and yourrelationship with him will endure way beyond that whichyou may have thought you had with Rob.Love and cyber-hugs,nTo: MSersLife Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 1:17:35 PMSubject: Re:

DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded

It's a lot like when my dad killed himself...there is a whole lot of "if I had only...:" going on in my head. I do, I feel like I failed, like I failed my husband, my son, my marriage, my self.

~*~Akiba~*~

Pragmatic Visionary

ISIS! ISIS! RA-RA-RA!

My Planet revolves around the Sun

My World revolves around My Son

Re: DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded

No,no, no~not true! You KNOW the truth--allow it to

let you free...love you, Kate

DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded

>

>

>

> THIS IS MEANT TO BE A LITTLE ADVICE FOR ANYONE ON THE LIST THAT

> IS OR

>

> HAS,SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION AND REALLY AIMED AT THE NEWER DX MEMBERS

>

> HERE,MOST OF US THAT HAVE BEEN HERE AWHILE CAN ATTEST TO MY

> STORY AND WE ALL

>

> HAVE OUR OWN.

>

> IT WAS A BEAUTIFULL SUNNY SAT MORNING FEB 5 2000,I WAS A

>

> FIREFIGHTER/ PARAMEDIC AT A STRUCTURE FIRE,I HAD MY CAREER GOING

> INTO FULL

>

> SWING AND WAS LOVING WHAT I WAS DOING,I FELT AS THOUGH I FOUND

> MY TRUE

>

> CALLING.AT 30 YEARS OLD WITH 12 YEARS ON THE JOB ALREADY,I HAD 4

> BEAUTIFULL

> CHILDREN AND A WIFE THATS I LOVED DEARLY,EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE

> WAS WHE

RE I

>

> WANTED IT.THEN CAME THE FALL,I WAS ENTERING A BUILDING AND

> SLIPPED AND FELL

>

> ON ONE STEP WITH ABOUT 70 LBS OF GEAR ON AND WENT BACKWARDS

> LANDING HARD ON

>

> MY HEELS AND COLLAPSING IN THE SNOW AND HAVING EVERYTHING TURN

> WHITE FROM MY

>

> FACE BEING BURRIED IN THE SNOW.

>

> I FELT A SHOCKWAVE GO UP MY SPINAL CHORD AND IT SCARED THE HELL

> OUT OF

>

> ME,BECAUSE I HAD HEARD OF THIS HAPPENING TO OTHER PEOPLE,WITH IN

> WEEKS I WAS

>

> IN A WHEELCHAIR AND DX WITH TRANSVERSE MYELITIS AND GETTING NO

> ANSWERS,IVE

> LEARNED THE FIRST YEAR IS TOTAL CONFUSION AND SPENT HOPING YOULL WALK

>

> AGAIN,THE SECOND YEAR IS THE WORST BECAUSE REALITY SETS IN AND

> YOU START TO

>

> REALISE THERES NO TURNING BACK AND YOU STRUGGLE TO ACCEPT WHAT

> HAS HAPPENED

>

> TO YOU,THATS WHEN I FOUND THIS LIST AND REALISED THAT HEY! THERE

> IS OTHERS

>

> OUT THERE WITH SIMILAR CONDITIONS,I CREDIT THE MEMBERS OF THIS

> LIST AND MY

>

> CHILDREN FOR PREVENTING ME FROM TAKING MY LIFE AND I KNOW THERES

> MEMBERS ON

>

> HERE THAT HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT,ITS THE HUMAN RESPONSE WHEN

> YOUVE HIT ROCK

>

> BOTTOM.ITS NOT WORTH IT,THERES SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR AND LIGHT AT

> THE END OF

>

> THE TUNNEL.

>

> WELL HERE IS THE TWIST TO THIS STORY,I WAS DX WITH MS IN JUNE

> 2005 AND THIS

>

> BROUGHT A WHOLE NEW SET OF FEELINGS AND CONFUSION AND AGAIN I

> CAME BACK TO

>

> THIS LIST.

>

> LAST MOTHERSDAY MYSELF AND MY WIFE OF 16 YEARS SEPERATED AND MY

> HEART WAS

>

> CRUSHED,I NEVER HAD THE TIME TO DEAL WITH MY OWN HURT AND

> INTERNAL STRUGGLE

>

> BECAUSE I WAS DEALING WITH MY KIDS PAIN,THE HOUSE I WAS LIVING

> IN WAS PUT UP

>

> FOR SALE BY MY OWN FAMILY AND I WAS GIVEN 3 MONTHS TO FIND A

> PLACE TO LIVE 2

>

> WEEKS AFTER THE SPLIT UP.IN OCTOBER IT FINALLY HIT ME FULL FORCE

> WHAT HAD

>

> HAPPENED AND I WENT BACK INTO A DEEP STATE OF DEPRESSION AND

> COULDNT FIND

>

> AWAY TO CLAW MYSELF OUT,I LOST 65 LBS AND MADE 13 TRIPS TO THE

> HOSPTIAL,BUT

> I BEAT IT AND THIS IS MY POINT.IF YOUR AT ROCK BOTTOM THERES

> ONLY ONE WAY TO

>

> GO AND THATS UP,I DUG MYSELF OUT TWICE WITH NO MEDICATION AND NO

>

> SHRINK,THERE IS SUNLIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE BARREL YOU JUST NEED

> TO FIND A

>

> WAY TO GET TO IT.YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO SO MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR

> LIFE AND ITS

>

> ABOUT BEING TRUE YOURSELF AND THOSE THAT LOVE YOU.

>

> AS FOR ME IM OK AND GOING DAY BY DAY,IM STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH

> MY WIFE AND

>

> I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER,OUR KIDS ARE DOING GOOD AND COPING,I

> HAVE DAYS

>

> WHEN MEMORIES HIT,BUT IVE LEARNED METHODS TO COPE WITH IT.IF

> ANYONE ON THIS

>

> LIST NEEDS A VOICE OR SOMONE TO CHAT WITH.PLEASE CONTACT ME AT

>

> dsrtstrm91yahoo (DOT) com .

>

>

>

> DIPLOMACY DOES NOT

>

> WORK WHEN DEALING WITH

>

> NUT'S HELL BENT ON

>

> DESTROYING US.

>

>

>

> Dell Mini Netbooks: Great deals starting at $299 after instant

> savings!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

Dell Mini Netbooks: Great deals starting at $299 after instant savings!

[Guest guest]

I totally agree with n.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://breastcancerpatientssoulmatesforlife.bravehost.com/ Anxiety Depression and Breast Cancerhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com

Re: DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded

No,no, no~not true! You KNOW the truth--allow it tolet you free...love you, Kate DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded> > > > THIS IS MEANT TO BE A LITTLE ADVICE FOR ANYONE ON THE LIST THAT > IS OR> > HAS,SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION AND REALLY AIMED AT THE NEWER DX MEMBERS> > HERE,MOST OF US THAT HAVE BEEN HERE AWHILE CAN ATTEST TO MY > STORY AND WE ALL> > HAVE OUR OWN.> > IT WAS A BEAUTIFULL SUNNY SAT MORNING FEB 5 2000,I WAS A> > FIREFIGHTER/ PARAMEDIC AT A STRUCTURE FIRE,I HAD MY CAREER GOING > INTO FULL> > SWING AND WAS LOVING WHAT I WAS DOING,I FELT AS THOUGH I FOUND > MY TRUE> > CALLING.AT 30 YEARS OLD WITH 12 YEARS ON THE JOB ALREADY,I HAD 4 > BEAUTIFULL> CHILDREN AND A WIFE THATS I LOVED DEARLY,EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE > WAS WHE RE I> > WANTED IT.THEN CAME THE FALL,I WAS ENTERING A BUILDING AND > SLIPPED AND FELL> > ON ONE STEP WITH ABOUT 70 LBS OF GEAR ON AND WENT BACKWARDS > LANDING HARD ON> > MY HEELS AND COLLAPSING IN THE SNOW AND HAVING EVERYTHING TURN > WHITE FROM MY> > FACE BEING BURRIED IN THE SNOW.> > I FELT A SHOCKWAVE GO UP MY SPINAL CHORD AND IT SCARED THE HELL > OUT OF> > ME,BECAUSE I HAD HEARD OF THIS HAPPENING TO OTHER PEOPLE,WITH IN > WEEKS I WAS> > IN A WHEELCHAIR AND DX WITH TRANSVERSE MYELITIS AND GETTING NO > ANSWERS,IVE> LEARNED THE FIRST YEAR IS TOTAL CONFUSION AND SPENT HOPING YOULL WALK> > AGAIN,THE SECOND YEAR IS THE WORST BECAUSE REALITY SETS IN AND > YOU START TO> > REALISE THERES NO TURNING BACK AND YOU STRUGGLE TO ACCEPT WHAT > HAS HAPPENED> > TO YOU,THATS WHEN I FOUND THIS LIST AND REALISED THAT HEY! THERE > IS OTHERS> > OUT THERE WITH SIMILAR CONDITIONS,I CREDIT THE MEMBERS OF THIS > LIST AND MY> > CHILDREN FOR PREVENTING ME FROM TAKING MY LIFE AND I KNOW THERES > MEMBERS ON> > HERE THAT HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT,ITS THE HUMAN RESPONSE WHEN > YOUVE HIT ROCK> > BOTTOM.ITS NOT WORTH IT,THERES SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR AND LIGHT AT > THE END OF> > THE TUNNEL.> > WELL HERE IS THE TWIST TO THIS STORY,I WAS DX WITH MS IN JUNE > 2005 AND THIS> > BROUGHT A WHOLE NEW SET OF FEELINGS AND CONFUSION AND AGAIN I > CAME BACK TO> > THIS LIST.> > LAST MOTHERSDAY MYSELF AND MY WIFE OF 16 YEARS SEPERATED AND MY > HEART WAS> > CRUSHED,I NEVER HAD THE TIME TO DEAL WITH MY OWN HURT AND > INTERNAL STRUGGLE> > BECAUSE I WAS DEALING WITH MY KIDS PAIN,THE HOUSE I WAS LIVING > IN WAS PUT UP> > FOR SALE BY MY OWN FAMILY AND I WAS GIVEN 3 MONTHS TO FIND A > PLACE TO LIVE 2> > WEEKS AFTER THE SPLIT UP.IN OCTOBER IT FINALLY HIT ME FULL FORCE > WHAT HAD> > HAPPENED AND I WENT BACK INTO A DEEP STATE OF DEPRESSION AND > COULDNT FIND> > AWAY TO CLAW MYSELF OUT,I LOST 65 LBS AND MADE 13 TRIPS TO THE > HOSPTIAL,BUT> I BEAT IT AND THIS IS MY POINT.IF YOUR AT ROCK BOTTOM THERES > ONLY ONE WAY TO> > GO AND THATS UP,I DUG MYSELF OUT TWICE WITH NO MEDICATION AND NO> > SHRINK,THERE IS SUNLIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE BARREL YOU JUST NEED > TO FIND A> > WAY TO GET TO IT.YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO SO MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR > LIFE AND ITS> > ABOUT BEING TRUE YOURSELF AND THOSE THAT LOVE YOU.> > AS FOR ME IM OK AND GOING DAY BY DAY,IM STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH > MY WIFE AND> > I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER,OUR KIDS ARE DOING GOOD AND COPING,I > HAVE DAYS> > WHEN MEMORIES HIT,BUT IVE LEARNED METHODS TO COPE WITH IT.IF > ANYONE ON THIS> > LIST NEEDS A VOICE OR SOMONE TO CHAT WITH.PLEASE CONTACT ME AT> > dsrtstrm91yahoo (DOT) com .> > > > DIPLOMACY DOES NOT> > WORK WHEN DEALING WITH> > NUT'S HELL BENT ON> > DESTROYING US.> > > > Dell Mini Netbooks: Great deals starting at $299 after instant > savings! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Dell Mini Netbooks: Great deals starting at $299 after instant savings!

[Guest guest]

n! SHE LIVES!!!!

Yes, I have Robbin. Or I WILL have Robbin. As soon as I can move. Hopefully that will be soon, my friends there are making their place handicap accessible for me, just got a sofa-bed, and as soon as the elections are over (the hubby is running for City Council or something) he'll be able to come get me.

And Yes, you *should* be able to call me from ANY phone, it is a regular phone call, it just comes to me through my PC instead of over the phone, and when I talk to you I use my headset and not the phone handset. But it IS a regular number, you do not need any special programs to call it, just a regular ol' phone.

~*~Akiba~*~

Pragmatic Visionary

ISIS! ISIS! RA-RA-RA!

My Planet revolves around the Sun

My World revolves around My Son

Re: DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded

No,no, no~not true! You KNOW the truth--allow it to

let you free...love you, Kate

DEPRESSION,READ MY STORY.long winded

>

>

>

> THIS IS MEANT TO BE A LITTLE ADVICE FOR ANYONE ON THE LIST THAT

> IS OR

>

> HAS,SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION AND REALLY AIMED AT THE NEWER DX MEMBERS

>

> HERE,MOST OF US THAT HAVE BEEN HERE AWHILE CAN ATTEST TO MY

> STORY AND WE ALL

>

> HAVE OUR OWN.

>

> IT WAS A BEAUTIFULL SUNNY SAT MORNING FEB 5 2000,I WAS A

>

> FIREFIGHTER/ PARAMEDIC AT A STRUCTURE FIRE,I HAD MY CAREER GOING

> INTO FULL

>

> SWING AND WAS LOVING WHAT I WAS DOING,I FELT AS THOUGH I FOUND

> MY TRUE

>

> CALLING.AT 30 YEARS OLD WITH 12 YEARS ON THE JOB ALREADY,I HAD 4

> BEAUTIFULL

> CHILDREN AND A WIFE THATS I LOVED DEARLY,EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE

> WAS WHE

RE I

>

> WANTED IT.THEN CAME THE FALL,I WAS ENTERING A BUILDING AND

> SLIPPED AND FELL

>

> ON ONE STEP WITH ABOUT 70 LBS OF GEAR ON AND WENT BACKWARDS

> LANDING HARD ON

>

> MY HEELS AND COLLAPSING IN THE SNOW AND HAVING EVERYTHING TURN

> WHITE FROM MY

>

> FACE BEING BURRIED IN THE SNOW.

>

> I FELT A SHOCKWAVE GO UP MY SPINAL CHORD AND IT SCARED THE HELL

> OUT OF

>

> ME,BECAUSE I HAD HEARD OF THIS HAPPENING TO OTHER PEOPLE,WITH IN

> WEEKS I WAS

>

> IN A WHEELCHAIR AND DX WITH TRANSVERSE MYELITIS AND GETTING NO

> ANSWERS,IVE

> LEARNED THE FIRST YEAR IS TOTAL CONFUSION AND SPENT HOPING YOULL WALK

>

> AGAIN,THE SECOND YEAR IS THE WORST BECAUSE REALITY SETS IN AND

> YOU START TO

>

> REALISE THERES NO TURNING BACK AND YOU STRUGGLE TO ACCEPT WHAT

> HAS HAPPENED

>

> TO YOU,THATS WHEN I FOUND THIS LIST AND REALISED THAT HEY! THERE

> IS OTHERS

>

> OUT THERE WITH SIMILAR CONDITIONS,I CREDIT THE MEMBERS OF THIS

> LIST AND MY

>

> CHILDREN FOR PREVENTING ME FROM TAKING MY LIFE AND I KNOW THERES

> MEMBERS ON

>

> HERE THAT HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT,ITS THE HUMAN RESPONSE WHEN

> YOUVE HIT ROCK

>

> BOTTOM.ITS NOT WORTH IT,THERES SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR AND LIGHT AT

> THE END OF

>

> THE TUNNEL.

>

> WELL HERE IS THE TWIST TO THIS STORY,I WAS DX WITH MS IN JUNE

> 2005 AND THIS

>

> BROUGHT A WHOLE NEW SET OF FEELINGS AND CONFUSION AND AGAIN I

> CAME BACK TO

>

> THIS LIST.

>

> LAST MOTHERSDAY MYSELF AND MY WIFE OF 16 YEARS SEPERATED AND MY

> HEART WAS

>

> CRUSHED,I NEVER HAD THE TIME TO DEAL WITH MY OWN HURT AND

> INTERNAL STRUGGLE

>

> BECAUSE I WAS DEALING WITH MY KIDS PAIN,THE HOUSE I WAS LIVING

> IN WAS PUT UP

>

> FOR SALE BY MY OWN FAMILY AND I WAS GIVEN 3 MONTHS TO FIND A

> PLACE TO LIVE 2

>

> WEEKS AFTER THE SPLIT UP.IN OCTOBER IT FINALLY HIT ME FULL FORCE

> WHAT HAD

>

> HAPPENED AND I WENT BACK INTO A DEEP STATE OF DEPRESSION AND

> COULDNT FIND

>

> AWAY TO CLAW MYSELF OUT,I LOST 65 LBS AND MADE 13 TRIPS TO THE

> HOSPTIAL,BUT

> I BEAT IT AND THIS IS MY POINT.IF YOUR AT ROCK BOTTOM THERES

> ONLY ONE WAY TO

>

> GO AND THATS UP,I DUG MYSELF OUT TWICE WITH NO MEDICATION AND NO

>

> SHRINK,THERE IS SUNLIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE BARREL YOU JUST NEED

> TO FIND A

>

> WAY TO GET TO IT.YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO SO MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR

> LIFE AND ITS

>

> ABOUT BEING TRUE YOURSELF AND THOSE THAT LOVE YOU.

>

> AS FOR ME IM OK AND GOING DAY BY DAY,IM STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH

> MY WIFE AND

>

> I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER,OUR KIDS ARE DOING GOOD AND COPING,I

> HAVE DAYS

>

> WHEN MEMORIES HIT,BUT IVE LEARNED METHODS TO COPE WITH IT.IF

> ANYONE ON THIS

>

> LIST NEEDS A VOICE OR SOMONE TO CHAT WITH.PLEASE CONTACT ME AT

>

> dsrtstrm91yahoo (DOT) com .

>

>

>

> DIPLOMACY DOES NOT

>

> WORK WHEN DEALING WITH

>

> NUT'S HELL BENT ON

>

> DESTROYING US.

>

>

>

> Dell Mini Netbooks: Great deals starting at $299 after instant

> savings!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

Dell Mini Netbooks: Great deals starting at $299 after instant savings!

Dell Mini Netbooks: Great deals starting at $299 after instant savings!