Re: DHs working away - now long moan about men!

May 22, 2000

-----Original Message-----

From: Sue Woollett >

>Coping alone is easier when you know there isn't someone who should be

>helping but is choosing to watch TV/have a lie-in, etc in the immediate

>vicinity. ;-)

Oh yes! Its just so frustrating running around in a mad panic to get the 101

jobs done when your DH is sitting in the midst of the chaos oblivious to it

all. When he's not around I dont experience all that pent-up frustration -

no-one to get mad at for their ineptitude!

My classic stress inducer is DH's apparent lack of initiative - ask him to

sign a birthday card for one of his relatives and he'll do just that - sign

it and leave it abandonned on the table. Even my 6 year old will sign a

card, seal the envelope, search out and write the address, get a stamp from

the stamp box and pop the card by the front door ready to go!

Ditto washing - he'll move it from the tumble drier to a basket and abandon

it. Child will gleefully sort into appropriate piles and distribute about

house. etc etc!

Would have every sympathy for an adult with learning disabilities but what's

particularly galling is his obvious competency at work - multi million pound

responsibilities, peoples lives, dangerous chemicals but a lousy second to a

6 year old at housework!

Our biggest row was over an episode when he cleaned the kitchen floor - I

was 9 months 2 weeks pregnant and after several sacastic comments had fallen

on deaf ears asked outright if he would mop the very sticky floor. Left him

to it and returned to a wet but not actually clean floor. He'd just used

water! Row ensued along the lines of ' well how was I to know you use a

detergent?!' Recalled how my parents had carpet tiles in their kitchen but

somehow I'd managed to suss out an effective method of degreasing a tiled

floor without actual instruction!

Have recently tried to read the Men are from Mars etc book and despite it

being oh so true and explaining why they do or dont do stuff it still made

me mad. Seemed to forever be suggesting ways for us girls to adapt to his

behaviour/understand his inadequacies - i.e change our behaviuor to suit

his - huh!

Anyway that's off my chest now!

Sally Shoolbraid

Torbay & South Devon

Br/Mem/Bookings Sec & Eleanor nearly 7 and Tom just 5.

May 22, 2000

-----Original Message-----

From: Sue Woollett >

>Coping alone is easier when you know there isn't someone who should be

>helping but is choosing to watch TV/have a lie-in, etc in the immediate

>vicinity. ;-)

Oh yes! Its just so frustrating running around in a mad panic to get the 101

jobs done when your DH is sitting in the midst of the chaos oblivious to it

all. When he's not around I dont experience all that pent-up frustration -

no-one to get mad at for their ineptitude!

My classic stress inducer is DH's apparent lack of initiative - ask him to

sign a birthday card for one of his relatives and he'll do just that - sign

it and leave it abandonned on the table. Even my 6 year old will sign a

card, seal the envelope, search out and write the address, get a stamp from

the stamp box and pop the card by the front door ready to go!

Ditto washing - he'll move it from the tumble drier to a basket and abandon

it. Child will gleefully sort into appropriate piles and distribute about

house. etc etc!

Would have every sympathy for an adult with learning disabilities but what's

particularly galling is his obvious competency at work - multi million pound

responsibilities, peoples lives, dangerous chemicals but a lousy second to a

6 year old at housework!

Our biggest row was over an episode when he cleaned the kitchen floor - I

was 9 months 2 weeks pregnant and after several sacastic comments had fallen

on deaf ears asked outright if he would mop the very sticky floor. Left him

to it and returned to a wet but not actually clean floor. He'd just used

water! Row ensued along the lines of ' well how was I to know you use a

detergent?!' Recalled how my parents had carpet tiles in their kitchen but

somehow I'd managed to suss out an effective method of degreasing a tiled

floor without actual instruction!

Have recently tried to read the Men are from Mars etc book and despite it

being oh so true and explaining why they do or dont do stuff it still made

me mad. Seemed to forever be suggesting ways for us girls to adapt to his

behaviour/understand his inadequacies - i.e change our behaviuor to suit

his - huh!

Anyway that's off my chest now!

Sally Shoolbraid

Torbay & South Devon

Br/Mem/Bookings Sec & Eleanor nearly 7 and Tom just 5.

May 22, 2000

-----Original Message-----

From: Sue Woollett >

>Coping alone is easier when you know there isn't someone who should be

>helping but is choosing to watch TV/have a lie-in, etc in the immediate

>vicinity. ;-)

Oh yes! Its just so frustrating running around in a mad panic to get the 101

jobs done when your DH is sitting in the midst of the chaos oblivious to it

all. When he's not around I dont experience all that pent-up frustration -

no-one to get mad at for their ineptitude!

My classic stress inducer is DH's apparent lack of initiative - ask him to

sign a birthday card for one of his relatives and he'll do just that - sign

it and leave it abandonned on the table. Even my 6 year old will sign a

card, seal the envelope, search out and write the address, get a stamp from

the stamp box and pop the card by the front door ready to go!

Ditto washing - he'll move it from the tumble drier to a basket and abandon

it. Child will gleefully sort into appropriate piles and distribute about

house. etc etc!

Would have every sympathy for an adult with learning disabilities but what's

particularly galling is his obvious competency at work - multi million pound

responsibilities, peoples lives, dangerous chemicals but a lousy second to a

6 year old at housework!

Our biggest row was over an episode when he cleaned the kitchen floor - I

was 9 months 2 weeks pregnant and after several sacastic comments had fallen

on deaf ears asked outright if he would mop the very sticky floor. Left him

to it and returned to a wet but not actually clean floor. He'd just used

water! Row ensued along the lines of ' well how was I to know you use a

detergent?!' Recalled how my parents had carpet tiles in their kitchen but

somehow I'd managed to suss out an effective method of degreasing a tiled

floor without actual instruction!

Have recently tried to read the Men are from Mars etc book and despite it

being oh so true and explaining why they do or dont do stuff it still made

me mad. Seemed to forever be suggesting ways for us girls to adapt to his

behaviour/understand his inadequacies - i.e change our behaviuor to suit

his - huh!

Anyway that's off my chest now!

Sally Shoolbraid

Torbay & South Devon

Br/Mem/Bookings Sec & Eleanor nearly 7 and Tom just 5.

May 22, 2000

I'm finding this all very amusing as nearly everything can also be applied

to my DH (who is currently away in Montreal). I too find it less stressful

when he's away as I know everything is up to me and so I don't get

frustrated when he's sitting there not doing all the things he's supposed

to.

One thing I've noticed in particular is a complete inability to forsee what

might be needed by a child/baby when he's in charge e.g. completely

inapropriate clothing for the climate which also is completely mismatched

(checks and stripes in clashing colours), no change of clothes packed for an

outing, no drink/food provisions packed - after all why would a toddler

need a drink after running round the park for an hour?

Helen

May 23, 2000

-----Original Message-----

From: Helen Bates >One thing I've noticed in particular is a complete

inability to forsee what

>might be needed by a child/baby when he's in charge

Ah yes - another gripe comes to mind now!

Inability to realise you need to start getting ready to go out at least half

an hour before the appointed time. Suitable clothing - coat, mac, hats,

scarves, gloves or sunhats, suncream, sunglasses, babywipes. Drinks and

snacks prepared. Toys to amuse on car journey and that favourite tape.

Record vital programme on TV. Spare clothes if its a beach/woods trip.

Buckets/spades, balls, kite, duckbread. Sickbowl for car and at least 2

towels. Right car seats in right car. Last minute wee and have they cleaned

their teeth recently? Brush hair if not brushed since yesterday morning.

Find and put on shoes and coats. Lock all doors, close all windows.

Answerphone on.

Ready to go - well, kids and I are but he's not actually got his shoes on

or found his keys yet!

Sally Shoolbraid

Torbay & South Devon

May 23, 2000