Another Repost from Stan - Let It Go

[Guest guest]

Here's one more wise, caring email from Stan Kurtz(group owner):

Folks,

Is this discussion helping our kids? I don't believe the tone is

productive energy. As fellow autism comrades, we have many personal

built up frustrations that can leak out in less than wonderful, and,

at times, hurtful ways.

We all love our children. We all are wanting to heal. We all are also

dealing with more than we bargained for.

One of the tricks to recovering our family is finding a way to let go

of anger and find love in the middle of chaos. Finding ways to help

each other while we are still suffering from post tramatic stress.

Talk it out, but try to remove aggression and find ways to express

love, or at least caring, instead.

Many families whose children do not fully improve are stuck in anger

and in my estimation it is hard to tell which is the cause and which

is the result.

Ask yourself, is my response helping the other person or am I reacting

from a place of my own pain. Is this triggering something from my

past that I am surpressing? Maybe I'm reacting because of things in

my past... when I wasn't heard. How can I say this with respect for

another person in the same war as I am... experiencing it in their own

way and their own pace --that is different than my own.

We are a group of overwhelmed, hurt individuals each uniquely affected

with their own issues as well and following a unique journey with the

stakes higher than anything else we have experienced.

Please remember who each of us is and treat him/her as the wonderful

souls they are.

The trick to frustration is to take the opportunity to heal the places

in us that triggered the frustration, not to take it out on the other

person... no one wins when you take it out... but if you transcend the

frustration (surpressed anger) and replace it with forgiveness

(while addressing the pain within you) I believe you will find healing

for the both of you and your children.

We all need to work on this, including myself, and I appreciate this

opportunity to speak and grow from this issue that the both of you

have brought to the group and that is so common in each of us and the

community.

Thank you both and good luck on this journey.

My best,

Stan