and

[Guest guest]

First of all, I have an Marie too!

Next, I will say that I liked attachment parenting before I really knew a

lot about it...but I also received lots of detachment parenting

advice...and it sounded so good, " Let your baby cry it out, and you'll all

sleep well after 3 nights. " Well, it sounded good, but they didn't tell

me how to help me feel better when my child was sobbing her heart out, nor

did it tell me how to explain to my baby the next day when she was scared

to see me or my husband how I was doing it for her own good. I finally

read Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears and now I have tossed out all

detachment parenting advice in my mental Recycle Bin and immediately

emptied the bin. I now trust my own instincts and heart rather than what

someone who isn't raising -my- child tells me. If it feels good to us,

it's good. If it feels bad, it's bad. What feels good to us is

responding to her needs. It was so confusing to try to listen to our

hearts telling us to go to our daughter when she needed us and then to

hear our mothers' voices in our heads telling us to let the baby cry (or

eat 3 meals a day at 3 weeks, or to smack little hands when they did

something " wrong " and on and on). Forget it. We now listen to our hearts

and we are so happy! It wsa as if a burden was lifted from us, really!

We aren't confused about what to do because we do what our hearts tell us

to do. I hope that makes sense. Is uggest reading NIghttime Parenting by

Dr. Sears. It really turned our relationship with our baby around. I now

feel so much more vconfident about my position as a mom. We accept and

welcome her to act as she acts: as a baby! after all, that is what she

is! We want her to respond to the world the way she wants to respond, not

the way we want her to! We're the adults! she isn't! I hope this all

makes sense!

Anyway, that is my POV.

Best wishes.

Myra