Re: Divorces -- work hours/sleep

September 24, 2007

was divorced using the "kiosk". Papers needed were printed, filled in, filed, filing fees paid. His ex signed the papers, it was notarized, and filed and a court date was set. appeared, she didn't, Judge asked a few questions, divorce was final. I don't think it was more than a couple months, at most. Ahhh for all things to go so easy and smooth. LOL Challis |}onna wrote: Kate, It seems that every state has a different approach to divorce. Here in PA, if you want a divorce and the other half of you doesn't you can still get one. The catch is, you have to live separately for two years, and then you can file for a divorce and the other half is not able to contest it.. or maybe they can, but you'll still get it because you've lived apart for two years. You can have one in between 30 and 90 days if you both sign for it.... Heck you can even have a "Do It Yourself Divorce" for $190.00 if you choose to go that way.. My dad did it... But I think he's divorced in Potter County rather than Fayette where he lives. Everything was done by mail even.. I'm not real sure if it's completely legal though.. But he's got divorce papers... In Connecticut, at least in 1990, you could get a divorce

WHILE living together! Seems it's too expensive to maintain two households or something... (I know that one because I checked into divorcing the hubby while we were living in the state)... But had I wanted him to leave the house, it was only a matter of having the local sheriff (constable, or whatever he is there), come along with a paper and tell him to "get out".. actually, the gal next door to me did that... Her hubby came home to these papers one day.. The guy wouldn't even allow him into the house to get his clothes or wallet or anything!... And shortly thereafter they were divorced.. I guess it's all in where you live.. I think you can still fly to Reno and have a divorce the same day... hmm... with that thought in mind.. You could almost gain a Guiness World Record... Go to Winchester, Virginia today, and get married.. then fly to Reno, and be divorced the next day... then back to Winchester to

do it all over again the next... Good math problem for some kid... If you were to drive between the two places.. and you worked at it every day, taking 8 hours in 24 out for sleeping... how many times could you be married and divorced in one year... LOL Sorry.. I didn't mean to make light of a bad situation... It just struck me as strange how every state differs... I think you'll need to contact an attorney (oh.. there's that nasty word again)... and ask questions.. most of them will do it over the phone.. at least I've found that to be the case for me.. maybe it's cause I'm a blabbermouth as well as a blabberfingers... |}onna Re: work hours/sleep I don't know quite HOW to go about getting a divorce. I know that may sound odd, but I've told my husband on many occasions that I cannot live with him anymore, and that I do indeed want a divorce. He, obviously, does not. So...what do you do..how do you proceed with someone who does NOT want a divorce...and

YOU do? It seems to be a real confusion to me how to 'go about it'... ~always, kate Sharon, I think that you definitely did the right thing. My eldest sister, married consecutively three alcoholics, who were paradoxically also control freaks. She divorced each of them. One day our mother said to me sweetly, "Dear why is it that she marries these, well, questionable men? All the rest of you seem to have picked such very nice husbands and wives?" I truly had no answer for her, but am surely glad that you had the sense NOT to repeat the first blooper! Part of

what made our marriage work was that Hans was thirteen years older than me, and very happy to be married and have real, live kids! (and those brownies, and good coffee!), love to you Sharon, and to all couples in our group, n

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story. Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.

September 26, 2007

I've been waiting for the eventually-2-b-x-hubby to file for 7 years now... The last lawyer he saw scared him.. He spoke of the hubby's parents estate, and my entitlement to part of that.. I told him it's not mine, I don't want it, your parents didn't work themselves to death on a farm, scrimping and saving to put that much away to leave to one of their children's spouses.. Then he (the lawyer) spoke of the hubby's retirement funds, and my entitlement to those. Once again I told him, it's not mine, I don't want it.. I'm not the one who worked all those years... All I want is for him to file for the divorce (and pay for it).. There isn't anything that he has that I feel that I'm entitled to.. I left, he didn't.. But when the attorney told him 15 hundred to start.. and that there is no such thing as an amicable divorce.. he balked and decided against it.. I guess...

I keep telling him that if I file for divorce, I'm going to legal aid to do so.. and then he'd have to pay for his attorney.. and legal aid would ask that he pay for them as well, since I'm low income.. so he'd end up paying twice and that's not fair either.. So.... well one day I might decide that I'm just going to have to do it and get it over with.. But for now there are too many other things that need legal attention first.. so the money we have to spend on attorney's will go to that first...

If I could be sure that he'd sign the papers, I'd cough up the bucks and do it the way my dad did... but there's no guarantee that he'd sign the papers and you pay the fees to this attorney up front.. no signature though, no divorce.. and no refund.. LOL

Oh well... another day... another problem... just not "that" one today...

|}onna

Re: work hours/sleep

I don't know quite HOW to go about getting a divorce. I know that may sound odd,

but I've told my husband on many occasions that I cannot live with him anymore,

and that I do indeed want a divorce. He, obviously, does not. So...what do you

do..how do you proceed with someone who does NOT want a divorce...and YOU do?

It seems to be a real confusion to me how to 'go about it'...

~always,

kate

Sharon, I think that you definitely did the right thing. My eldest sister,

married consecutively three alcoholics, who were paradoxically also

control freaks. She divorced each of them. One day our mother

said to me sweetly, "Dear why is it that she marries these, well,

questionable men? All the rest of you seem to have picked such

very nice husbands and wives?" I truly had no answer for her, but

am surely glad that you had the sense NOT to repeat the first blooper!

Part of what made our marriage work was that Hans was thirteen years

older than me, and very happy to be married and have real, live kids!

(and those brownies, and good coffee!),

love to you Sharon, and to all couples in our group,

n

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.

September 26, 2007

If it's all straightforward, and you're agreeing to everything, why not simply file without the attorneys? It sounds like you two agree, and you can write in the papers that you do not want any of the estate or his retirement. Challis |}onna wrote: I've been waiting for the eventually-2-b-x-hubby to file for 7 years now... The last lawyer he saw scared him.. He spoke of the hubby's parents estate, and my entitlement to part of that.. I told

him it's not mine, I don't want it, your parents didn't work themselves to death on a farm, scrimping and saving to put that much away to leave to one of their children's spouses.. Then he (the lawyer) spoke of the hubby's retirement funds, and my entitlement to those. Once again I told him, it's not mine, I don't want it.. I'm not the one who worked all those years... All I want is for him to file for the divorce (and pay for it).. There isn't anything that he has that I feel that I'm entitled to.. I left, he didn't.. But when the attorney told him 15 hundred to start.. and that there is no such thing as an amicable divorce.. he balked and decided against it.. I guess... I keep telling him that if I file for divorce, I'm going to legal aid to do so.. and then he'd have to pay for his attorney.. and legal aid would ask that he pay for them as well, since I'm low income.. so he'd end up paying twice and

that's not fair either.. So.... well one day I might decide that I'm just going to have to do it and get it over with.. But for now there are too many other things that need legal attention first.. so the money we have to spend on attorney's will go to that first... If I could be sure that he'd sign the papers, I'd cough up the bucks and do it the way my dad did... but there's no guarantee that he'd sign the papers and you pay the fees to this attorney up front.. no signature though, no divorce.. and no refund.. LOL Oh well... another day... another problem... just not "that" one today... |}onna Re: work hours/sleep I don't know quite HOW to go about getting a divorce. I know that may sound odd, but I've told my husband on many occasions that I cannot live with him anymore, and that I do indeed want a divorce. He, obviously, does not. So...what do you do..how do you proceed with someone who does NOT want a divorce...and YOU do? It seems to be a real confusion to me how to 'go about it'... ~always, kate Sharon, I think that you definitely did the right thing. My eldest sister, married consecutively three alcoholics, who were paradoxically also control freaks. She divorced each of them. One day our mother said to me sweetly, "Dear why is it that she marries these, well, questionable men? All the rest

of you seem to have picked such very nice husbands and wives?" I truly had no answer for her, but am surely glad that you had the sense NOT to repeat the first blooper! Part of what made our marriage work was that Hans was thirteen years older than me, and very happy to be married and have real, live kids! (and those brownies, and good coffee!), love to you Sharon, and to all couples in our group, n Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.

Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with Yahoo! FareChase.

September 26, 2007

If it's all straightforward, and you're agreeing to everything, why not simply file without the attorneys? It sounds like you two agree, and you can write in the papers that you do not want any of the estate or his retirement. Challis |}onna wrote: I've been waiting for the eventually-2-b-x-hubby to file for 7 years now... The last lawyer he saw scared him.. He spoke of the hubby's parents estate, and my entitlement to part of that.. I told

him it's not mine, I don't want it, your parents didn't work themselves to death on a farm, scrimping and saving to put that much away to leave to one of their children's spouses.. Then he (the lawyer) spoke of the hubby's retirement funds, and my entitlement to those. Once again I told him, it's not mine, I don't want it.. I'm not the one who worked all those years... All I want is for him to file for the divorce (and pay for it).. There isn't anything that he has that I feel that I'm entitled to.. I left, he didn't.. But when the attorney told him 15 hundred to start.. and that there is no such thing as an amicable divorce.. he balked and decided against it.. I guess... I keep telling him that if I file for divorce, I'm going to legal aid to do so.. and then he'd have to pay for his attorney.. and legal aid would ask that he pay for them as well, since I'm low income.. so he'd end up paying twice and

that's not fair either.. So.... well one day I might decide that I'm just going to have to do it and get it over with.. But for now there are too many other things that need legal attention first.. so the money we have to spend on attorney's will go to that first... If I could be sure that he'd sign the papers, I'd cough up the bucks and do it the way my dad did... but there's no guarantee that he'd sign the papers and you pay the fees to this attorney up front.. no signature though, no divorce.. and no refund.. LOL Oh well... another day... another problem... just not "that" one today... |}onna Re: work hours/sleep I don't know quite HOW to go about getting a divorce. I know that may sound odd, but I've told my husband on many occasions that I cannot live with him anymore, and that I do indeed want a divorce. He, obviously, does not. So...what do you do..how do you proceed with someone who does NOT want a divorce...and YOU do? It seems to be a real confusion to me how to 'go about it'... ~always, kate Sharon, I think that you definitely did the right thing. My eldest sister, married consecutively three alcoholics, who were paradoxically also control freaks. She divorced each of them. One day our mother said to me sweetly, "Dear why is it that she marries these, well, questionable men? All the rest

of you seem to have picked such very nice husbands and wives?" I truly had no answer for her, but am surely glad that you had the sense NOT to repeat the first blooper! Part of what made our marriage work was that Hans was thirteen years older than me, and very happy to be married and have real, live kids! (and those brownies, and good coffee!), love to you Sharon, and to all couples in our group, n Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.

Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with Yahoo! FareChase.

September 26, 2007

Well actually... we don't both agree.. he doesn't want a divorce... I think that's part of the problem... I've been a little bit less than straightforward with him.. though I haven't actually lied either... I've told him that I'd never be able to live with him again without being divorced first.. And that was truthful.. I wouldn't be able to live with him, just like I won't be able to marry "legally".. (can still do it in a church, and receive a marriage certificate from them.. just no license from the state).. I just never bothered to add that I don't intend to live with him again ever.. So depending on how you look at it.. I didn't out and out lie to him.. I stated a truthful fact...

Maybe the attorney is right, that there isn't any such thing as a "friendly" divorce. I just don't want him to have to go through what he went through in his first divorce. He wasn't a bad husband.. he didn't mistreat me, or the kids... I never went hungry or without clothes or shoes.. I just didn't have much companionship, or nearly enough attention... With him it was easy to forget that he was supposed to "love" me.. and want to take care of me and all the stuff I now have.. I didn't really enjoy being with him all the time.. I looked forward to hunting season when he'd be gone for a week... I looked forward to racing trips that I couldn't go on with him.. I looked forward to being alone... that's not a relationship..

But his first wife was nasty the whole way around.. she claimed he beat her (and if he was going to beat a woman, I gave him ALL the reasons in the world for him to do so).. and she told their kids the same thing... they finally figured out "who" was the bad guy in that divorce, though it took them until they were grown. I don't want that kind of thing happening, if I can help it.. I'll take the blame for it all.. but after 20 years, I did become somewhat attached to some of his family members, and I'd like to know that they are doing okay, or their sick and... well.. basically at least have a friendship of some sort.. We DO have a son together, and we did lose one together as well.. even if Bud wasn't his biological son.. he was a father figure for all those years and I know that it hurt him when Bud died, just as if it had been his own "flesh and blood"..

Yeah.. I'm strange... But then I'm really not hard to get along with, and I don't like being mean or nasty or rude to anyone.. Though I can be if pushed into it.. LOL