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Re: Dieter's Christmas

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Ida- thank you for the giggles.

Zephyr

Dieter's Christmas

> Dieter's Christmas

>

>

> 'Twas the night before Christmas and all around my hips

> were Fanny May candies that sneaked past my lips.

> Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care

> in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

>

>

> While Daddy in his girdle and I in chinstraps

> had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.

> When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter

> I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter?

>

>

> Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash

> tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.

> The marshmallow with the look of the new-fallen snow

> sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

>

>

> When what to my wandering eyes should appear:

> a marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!

> That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick

> I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

>

>

> The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer

> I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;

> On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS

> a Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

>

>

> >From the top of the scales to the top of the hall

> now dash away pounds now dash away all.

> Dressed up in Lane from my head to nightdress

> my clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

>

>

> My droll little mouth and my round little belly

> they shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

> I spoke not a word but went straight to my work

> ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

>

>

> And laying a finger beside my heartburn

> I gave a quick nod. Toward the bedroom I turned.

> I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry,

> " If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by! "

>

>

> And I mumbled again as I turned in for the night

> in the morning I'll starve...

> till I take that first bite!

>

>

>

>

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