Re: How much support are you getting?

January 14, 1999

:

I wish I could have gone home. I live three hours away. I think DH has

said something to her. I hope he did. I think I am going to ask him.

I have learned something very valuable, never ever try to give my

daughter a bottle at MIL house

January 14, 1999

People often don't know what they are talking about. Remember, many of our

mothers were told that formula-feeding was actually better for their babies,

and thus have no clue as to what bfing is all about. Karissa was given the

occasional bottle of EBM early on, but unless I gave her one every day, she

would refuse. Since I had no desire (and no REAL need) to go to this extra

trouble every day, she won't take a bottle.

Anyway, as to how much support I get : not much. Not that I get a lot of

negativity about it, everyone is PRETTY MUCH just keeping their opinions to

themselves. Though, while visiting Jen (Onepin haha) last week, Karissa

(7mo)did actually decide to eat some solid foods. When I told dh about

this, he asked if I was gonna wean now. I told him no way! I think she

must have " heard " this cuz she has gone back to refusing all but mommy.

Kristi Kurtz wrote:

>

> This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was visiting

> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to get

> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if she

> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>

> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed her

> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way we

> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>

> thanks for letting me vent

>

> Hugs

> Kristi

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

January 14, 1999

People often don't know what they are talking about. Remember, many of our

mothers were told that formula-feeding was actually better for their babies,

and thus have no clue as to what bfing is all about. Karissa was given the

occasional bottle of EBM early on, but unless I gave her one every day, she

would refuse. Since I had no desire (and no REAL need) to go to this extra

trouble every day, she won't take a bottle.

Anyway, as to how much support I get : not much. Not that I get a lot of

negativity about it, everyone is PRETTY MUCH just keeping their opinions to

themselves. Though, while visiting Jen (Onepin haha) last week, Karissa

(7mo)did actually decide to eat some solid foods. When I told dh about

this, he asked if I was gonna wean now. I told him no way! I think she

must have " heard " this cuz she has gone back to refusing all but mommy.

Kristi Kurtz wrote:

>

> This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was visiting

> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to get

> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if she

> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>

> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed her

> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way we

> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>

> thanks for letting me vent

>

> Hugs

> Kristi

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

January 14, 1999

People often don't know what they are talking about. Remember, many of our

mothers were told that formula-feeding was actually better for their babies,

and thus have no clue as to what bfing is all about. Karissa was given the

occasional bottle of EBM early on, but unless I gave her one every day, she

would refuse. Since I had no desire (and no REAL need) to go to this extra

trouble every day, she won't take a bottle.

Anyway, as to how much support I get : not much. Not that I get a lot of

negativity about it, everyone is PRETTY MUCH just keeping their opinions to

themselves. Though, while visiting Jen (Onepin haha) last week, Karissa

(7mo)did actually decide to eat some solid foods. When I told dh about

this, he asked if I was gonna wean now. I told him no way! I think she

must have " heard " this cuz she has gone back to refusing all but mommy.

Kristi Kurtz wrote:

>

> This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was visiting

> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to get

> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if she

> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>

> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed her

> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way we

> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>

> thanks for letting me vent

>

> Hugs

> Kristi

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

January 14, 1999

Well, I personally think that you need to lay down the law with her. Tell her

this is not bottle feeding and it is done differently. You don't have to

insult her way of feeding her babies, just tell her its different. Also, try

to be more firm when she has her, and the baby wants to eat! Take her, its

really that simple. If you do not lay down the law now, it will only be more

difficult in the future. Take if from someone who has been there. She needs

to know that she cannot walk all over you when it comes to raising your

children, or she will keep it up, and get only worse. I would quote her some

info on Breastfeeding, and how she can be part of this by supporting you, and

making this successful. Try to win her over on your side, and if she won't do

it, then just let her know as nicely as possible that this is YOUR baby, and

she is part of it, but you are the boss. Well, I talked forever, hope some of

what I said was helpful!!

In a message dated 1/14/99 2:22:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

scwren@... writes:

> This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was visiting

> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to get

> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if she

> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>

> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed her

> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way we

> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>

> thanks for letting me vent

>

> Hugs

> Kristi

January 14, 1999

Oh I forgot to add one thing, I know I said lay down the law, but there is a

nicer way to do it. Try to keep doing what you are doing, listen to

everything she says to do, nod you head in agreement.... THEN do everything

how you originally were. Unless she pulls that bottle in front of you thing,

then just say, " Oh we will try that later, but since I am here, I might as

well feed her, I mean I got it all ready and warm? " and just take her while

saying it. Don't say anything about not giving, just insist you are gonna

feed her. And if she says you are feeding too much, just nod like you haven't

thought of that and go on. Unless she is around everyday, you can handle her

without her knowing that you are handling her. Again, TA TA....

January 14, 1999

I have great support from my mom and sisters and brothers. My youngest brother

told his girlfriend before she had her baby that she better nurse. Then when

we met her before her baby was born my sister who is nursing her 19 month old,

and me talked to her some and gave her info on nursing, and guess what she is

so far. She is only 17 and I give her credit. Whisper is 4 months now and she

seems to be sticking with it.

We don't get around my inlaws much. They are in Seattle and us in Omaha. So i

am thankful for that. They are really wierd, and my FIL is a pervert who will

never be left alone with me or my daughter even if my MIL is around, because

she can't protect her own kids so why would she mine? Right?

January 14, 1999

They say that a b/f baby won't eat more then they need.

January 14, 1999

Onepin here....LOL

Come on now ...aren't you going to tell them the truth about your

visit? Hee Hee....*JJ*

My mom, despite not nursing either of her children, has been extremely

supportive of me with all four of my babies. I do not know exactly how she

will deal with the cloth!!

I do have a hard time with my sister though. She never tried to breastfeed,

and is just totally different than us on children.

Jen...onepin

At 01:51 PM 1/14/99 -0600, you wrote:

>

>People often don't know what they are talking about. Remember, many of our

>mothers were told that formula-feeding was actually better for their babies,

>and thus have no clue as to what bfing is all about. Karissa was given the

>occasional bottle of EBM early on, but unless I gave her one every day, she

>would refuse. Since I had no desire (and no REAL need) to go to this extra

>trouble every day, she won't take a bottle.

>

>Anyway, as to how much support I get : not much. Not that I get a lot of

>negativity about it, everyone is PRETTY MUCH just keeping their opinions to

>themselves. Though, while visiting Jen (Onepin haha) last week, Karissa

>(7mo)did actually decide to eat some solid foods. When I told dh about

>this, he asked if I was gonna wean now. I told him no way! I think she

>must have " heard " this cuz she has gone back to refusing all but mommy.

>

>Kristi Kurtz wrote:

>

>>

>> This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

>> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was visiting

>> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

>> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to get

>> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if she

>> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

>> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>>

>> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

>> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

>> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed her

>> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way we

>> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

>> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>>

>> thanks for letting me vent

>>

>> Hugs

>> Kristi

>>

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>

January 14, 1999

Onepin here....LOL

Come on now ...aren't you going to tell them the truth about your

visit? Hee Hee....*JJ*

My mom, despite not nursing either of her children, has been extremely

supportive of me with all four of my babies. I do not know exactly how she

will deal with the cloth!!

I do have a hard time with my sister though. She never tried to breastfeed,

and is just totally different than us on children.

Jen...onepin

At 01:51 PM 1/14/99 -0600, you wrote:

>

>People often don't know what they are talking about. Remember, many of our

>mothers were told that formula-feeding was actually better for their babies,

>and thus have no clue as to what bfing is all about. Karissa was given the

>occasional bottle of EBM early on, but unless I gave her one every day, she

>would refuse. Since I had no desire (and no REAL need) to go to this extra

>trouble every day, she won't take a bottle.

>

>Anyway, as to how much support I get : not much. Not that I get a lot of

>negativity about it, everyone is PRETTY MUCH just keeping their opinions to

>themselves. Though, while visiting Jen (Onepin haha) last week, Karissa

>(7mo)did actually decide to eat some solid foods. When I told dh about

>this, he asked if I was gonna wean now. I told him no way! I think she

>must have " heard " this cuz she has gone back to refusing all but mommy.

>

>Kristi Kurtz wrote:

>

>>

>> This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

>> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was visiting

>> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

>> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to get

>> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if she

>> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

>> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>>

>> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

>> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

>> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed her

>> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way we

>> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

>> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>>

>> thanks for letting me vent

>>

>> Hugs

>> Kristi

>>

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>

January 14, 1999

Onepin here....LOL

Come on now ...aren't you going to tell them the truth about your

visit? Hee Hee....*JJ*

My mom, despite not nursing either of her children, has been extremely

supportive of me with all four of my babies. I do not know exactly how she

will deal with the cloth!!

I do have a hard time with my sister though. She never tried to breastfeed,

and is just totally different than us on children.

Jen...onepin

At 01:51 PM 1/14/99 -0600, you wrote:

>

>People often don't know what they are talking about. Remember, many of our

>mothers were told that formula-feeding was actually better for their babies,

>and thus have no clue as to what bfing is all about. Karissa was given the

>occasional bottle of EBM early on, but unless I gave her one every day, she

>would refuse. Since I had no desire (and no REAL need) to go to this extra

>trouble every day, she won't take a bottle.

>

>Anyway, as to how much support I get : not much. Not that I get a lot of

>negativity about it, everyone is PRETTY MUCH just keeping their opinions to

>themselves. Though, while visiting Jen (Onepin haha) last week, Karissa

>(7mo)did actually decide to eat some solid foods. When I told dh about

>this, he asked if I was gonna wean now. I told him no way! I think she

>must have " heard " this cuz she has gone back to refusing all but mommy.

>

>Kristi Kurtz wrote:

>

>>

>> This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

>> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was visiting

>> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

>> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to get

>> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if she

>> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

>> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>>

>> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

>> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

>> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed her

>> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way we

>> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

>> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>>

>> thanks for letting me vent

>>

>> Hugs

>> Kristi

>>

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>

January 14, 1999

That is kinda sad that you MIL is not very supportive of your breastfeeding

the baby. I think that if my MIL was trying to get my baby to take a

bottle when I didn't want her too and I had to listen to my baby cry. I

would probably just ask for the baby feed it and go home. Just had to say

that ....bye bye!

mom to -3, and -2

How much support are you getting?

>

>This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

>thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was visiting

>with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

>Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to get

>my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if she

>was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

>listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>

>I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

>went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

>Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed her

>too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way we

>know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

>most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>

>thanks for letting me vent

>

>Hugs

>Kristi

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

January 14, 1999

My dh and I live with my mother and while she is basically supportive of me

breastfeeding, she was hell-bent that she would get Maggie to take a bottle

of *something* LOL! I finally got disgusted and threw out all the bottles.

Only mommy for my Maggie!

Honestly, you have to get assertive or some moms will run all over you (with

the best of intentions, of course ;o)). My MIL thinks I am from another

planet for nursing and she really thought I was wierd for not pushing

solids, but I have let her know that I will give no ground on this parenting

thing, so she bites her tongue. Nip it in the bud, and let her know gently

but firmly that you are the final authority for your baby, and what you say

*must* go.

Good luck.

Amy O.

Mommy to Maggie 3-2-98

Soulmate to 12-21-96

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blessed is the mother who does not laugh at her little one when he haltingly

tells her his worries, problems, or fears; for then that child will still

come to

her for advice when he is a teenager.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

January 15, 1999

: I am still open mouthed over what your MIL said!!!! I have

never ever heard that one before. I can't believe that. Thank goodness

my MIL hasn't come up with that one. Course, she is prolly gonna tell

me jannie isn't gaining enough weight with my milk. Oh well.

Kristi

______________________________________________________________________

" This is the reason why mothers are more devoted to their children than

fathers: it is that they suffer more in giving them birth and are more

certain that they are their own "

Aristotle

______________________________________________________________________

January 15, 1999

<< I love my MIL dearly for the

most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

thanks for letting me vent

>>

Vent away!! My mil wanted to put on a diet when he was 3 months old

because " that fatty breastmilk is turning him into the fattest baby in the

world " . she suggested I cut out one nursing and replace it with a bottle of

water so that he wouldn't get as many calories!! UGH

~~~~who is happy to be 1500 miles away from her mil

January 15, 1999

Thankyou Dana: I am lucky in that my Ped and OB are both supportive.

And so is DH! I dont' see his folks very often so I guess I can deal

with it.

Hugs

Kristi

>

>Kristi,

>

>It's unfortunate that we all can't have unlimited support huh? : ) (I

wish!!)

>I have to admit that I'm pretty lucky, my husband is *very* supportive!

>(Actually he's the one who convinced me to BF) I've found that as long

as I

>have his support it makes it much easier to ignore all the unwanted

advise I

>get! : ) My mom is pretty supportive (she didn't bf) and since I helped

my

>sister to bf her 2nd she's now a total advocate!! Now my dh's side of

the

>family that's another story. (lots of long ones at that!) : ) Luckily

we live

>400 miles away so I don't have to deal with it that often. Although

secretly I

>wouldn't mind getting a chance to tell them how I *really* feel about

it! : )

>Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know that I do know how you feel so

feel free

>to vent anytime!!

>

>Dana -Mommy to Philip ph 9/17/97

>

>In a message ded 1/14/99 2:21:59 PM EST, scwren@... writes:

>

><< This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was

visiting

> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to

get

> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if

she

> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>

> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed

her

> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way

we

> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>

> thanks for letting me vent

>

> Hugs

> Kristi

> >>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

January 15, 1999

Thankyou Dana: I am lucky in that my Ped and OB are both supportive.

And so is DH! I dont' see his folks very often so I guess I can deal

with it.

Hugs

Kristi

>

>Kristi,

>

>It's unfortunate that we all can't have unlimited support huh? : ) (I

wish!!)

>I have to admit that I'm pretty lucky, my husband is *very* supportive!

>(Actually he's the one who convinced me to BF) I've found that as long

as I

>have his support it makes it much easier to ignore all the unwanted

advise I

>get! : ) My mom is pretty supportive (she didn't bf) and since I helped

my

>sister to bf her 2nd she's now a total advocate!! Now my dh's side of

the

>family that's another story. (lots of long ones at that!) : ) Luckily

we live

>400 miles away so I don't have to deal with it that often. Although

secretly I

>wouldn't mind getting a chance to tell them how I *really* feel about

it! : )

>Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know that I do know how you feel so

feel free

>to vent anytime!!

>

>Dana -Mommy to Philip ph 9/17/97

>

>In a message ded 1/14/99 2:21:59 PM EST, scwren@... writes:

>

><< This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was

visiting

> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to

get

> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if

she

> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>

> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed

her

> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way

we

> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>

> thanks for letting me vent

>

> Hugs

> Kristi

> >>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

January 15, 1999

Thankyou Dana: I am lucky in that my Ped and OB are both supportive.

And so is DH! I dont' see his folks very often so I guess I can deal

with it.

Hugs

Kristi

>

>Kristi,

>

>It's unfortunate that we all can't have unlimited support huh? : ) (I

wish!!)

>I have to admit that I'm pretty lucky, my husband is *very* supportive!

>(Actually he's the one who convinced me to BF) I've found that as long

as I

>have his support it makes it much easier to ignore all the unwanted

advise I

>get! : ) My mom is pretty supportive (she didn't bf) and since I helped

my

>sister to bf her 2nd she's now a total advocate!! Now my dh's side of

the

>family that's another story. (lots of long ones at that!) : ) Luckily

we live

>400 miles away so I don't have to deal with it that often. Although

secretly I

>wouldn't mind getting a chance to tell them how I *really* feel about

it! : )

>Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know that I do know how you feel so

feel free

>to vent anytime!!

>

>Dana -Mommy to Philip ph 9/17/97

>

>In a message ded 1/14/99 2:21:59 PM EST, scwren@... writes:

>

><< This is kind of a gripe. My MIL is not being really supportive. I

> thought I was going to have to go back to work and while I was

visiting

> with her, I attempted to give Jannie a bottle. Actually she did.

> Jannie would have nothing to do with it. She screamed. I tried to

get

> my MIL to give me Jannie so I could go and feed her. She said, " if

she

> was hungry, she would take the bottle " I don't think so. I had to

> listen to my daughter scream for about 10 min.

>

> I finally got my daughter from her, and fed her. All was well until i

> went back downstairs for dinner. She told me I should have started

> Jannie on a bottle earlier. (I had, she still hates it) and I feed

her

> too often. I demand feed her like my Ped. had told me too. That way

we

> know Jannie is getting enough to eat! I love my MIL dearly for the

> most part but, there are times she drives me nuts.

>

> thanks for letting me vent

>

> Hugs

> Kristi

> >>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

January 15, 1999

I'm spoiled.

My mother breastfed all 5 of us. She completley supports my bfing all 5 of

my kids. In fact she and I counsel her foster girls to bfeed their babies.

I don't think my mil breastfed my dh. He is an only child. But she never

makes any negative comments. She says I'm a great mother.

When dh and I started dating. He was 18. I was 15. She was a pain in my

butt!!! But after I grew up, came into my own. She new I had the power,

and she's supportive or she's out. My dh is very laid back. He was

extremely close to has dad. He passed away before we got married, sad, he

never saw any of his grandkids. He was never real close to his mom, and

that makes it easier for me. But I do think that husbands should give 1st

allegiance to their wives. If the mil realizies she doesn't have the power.

She has to conform to be a part of your family.

This is all to a degree.

Once I felt I was in some amount of control, I could be nicer to my mil.

The power struggle was over.