Family drama - Update II

[Guest guest]

Annette called this morning. has changed his mind about seeking help for his alcoholism, and about not drinking too. He says that he doesn't have time for the treatment, at least not if it would require him to be admitted to the clinic, and that maybe he could try to drink less, but not quit altogether. Now, that's not how addictions work, as I am sure you all know, it really is an all or nothing choice once you are an alcoholic (at least for some 99,99%, there is always exceptions of course). Annette is disappointed in him, says "I've given him a choice between the drinking and his family, he can't have both, and he is so much of a coward that he won't even make that choice.", but realistic enough to know that that goes to show the depth of his addiction AND that no change will come about unless he decides to. It's up to him, no one else can make it happen for him. He says he will "think about it", but I guess he is just stalling. Hoping to not have to make a decision at all - unwilling to make the decision to give up drinking, but, of course, not wanting to lose his family either. The older kids will be going to their biological mother - that is not necessarily a good situation either, as she is even less stable than he is, even though she is not alcoholic, but that's another story. In reality it'll probably be up to the oldest, a 16-year old girl, to look after the other two. She is a very mature 16 year old, so she'll be able to handle it, even though she shouldn't have to. But what can you do. Annette and her children are still living with her parents, but she has started to look for an apartment, now that it doesn't seem that living apart from him will be a very temporary thing. It turns out he actually threatened Annette's mother when she came to pick up Milla this weekend! - saying that if she tried to to take Milla with her, he wouldn't let any of them leave. Goes to show both how desperate and how hostile he must have become. But all she had to do to make him step aside was look him straight in the eyes and tell him that she has neither respect nor fear for him. He, on the other hand, is afraid of her. We'll see how this plays out in the end. But Annette is keeping her courage up.love/Reb