Re: Nan, welcome back:

[Guest guest]

Nan, we all love you. I have to go out, and have more bloodwork done this morning. My white blood count is a problem again.

More later....Love you....Lea

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MISS YOU ALL< WARNING LONG...

I don't even know where to start to explain where I have been, in a long dark tunnel that I am just starting to come out of. I have not been "allowed" to post anything and have not even read the board since I left, so first I apologize. I still can't really say everything which irritates me! For those who don't know me I had a surprise discovery in July that I had not actually had my capsules removed, the PS told me SEVERAL times that he got everything out and we had discussed this over and over, so what a shock to order a copy of the report and find out he did a "partial". I quickly decided to have the remaining capusles out which I did, I flew to Ohio and had Dr Feng do it, which is another long story. I was unsure of what he even left in there, but turns out a whole lot. He pulled out the implant and the front capsule and left everything on the chest wall, the pictures say it all. I was pretty out of it the month of August. Surgery always seems to set me back, I end up with fungal issues and always a relapse of sorts. I spent this last month getting a bit better and getting the kids back in school. I tried acupuncture, I did not like it. I am doing massage therapy with a great woman who is trying to get my pec muscles and lymph nodes cleaned out, I still have a lot of toxins. And I am on a stretching program because I am a mess. I am still on quite a bit of supplements and am on a pretty good diet, although my weight has dropped again and am 112, which no one seems to know why.I have continued to make progress with some things that are really not issues anymore. The dizzy stuff, vertigo, bumping into things, all gone. I still have these awful episodes of pain and extreme fatigue and feeling poisoned that have come back, they seem to come in at full force and am able to regain some energy and less pain but it takes a couple of months. I still do not feel I have a good explanation of what this is, and as you all know, I have virtually no doctor who can explain this. I still can't stand any sudden noise, any fast paced movement, any stress, or I get a huge rush of something that then knocks me out for a while. This just seems to be a bad cyclle and I have to work daily on this. They did test my cortisol twice, but it was when I was very calm and wasn't in the middle of this. Lastly, I did go back to two doctors this month, I had to have my gyn exam so I told him the whole story and he was disinterested and rude. Then I tried the pain management clinic which turned out to be the biggest disaster.He had three of his medical students with him and I told the whole story too. He said he thought I had a mental disorder and it is probably PTSD and that I needed a psychiatrist and he could not help me. I was humiliated and angry. And he knew I am a licensed therapist with 15 years in the field so it was just weird. Then when I got home the psychiatrist called me personally (I guess I am threat to the general population!). Turns out I know the psych, I have treated some of his patients! I wrote a long complaint to this dr and forwarded it to his boss. They will do nothing, but it felt good to take action. This is not the first doctor who treated me like a crazy person. Someday I may write a general letter and send it to all the drs who told me this was all in my head. Sorry this is so long, I have thought about all of you often, and being away has been terrible. I was also partially pressured by my husband who is just sick of all this and wanted me off the computer. Problem is, he just can't ever understand this and is not a good sole source of support. He has done better than most I think. I would like to come back, even though I still can't explain some things I will do the best I can. And I would love for someone to help me post the pics of my capsules. I had a good cosmetic result, I am very happy with how I look. Dr Feng did a great job at cleaning it all out and making me look good. LOVE NAN