southern women

[Guest guest]

SOUTHERN WOMEN

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:

Clean skin.

A winning smile.

That unforgettable Southern drawl

Southern women know their manners:

" Yes, ma'am. "

" Yes, sir. "

" Why, no, ! "

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :

" Y'all come back! "

" Well, bless your heart. "

" Drop by when you can. "

" How's your Momma? "

Southern women know their summer weather report:

Humidity

Humidity

Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:

The beach

The rivuh

The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:

Colorful hi-heel sandals

Strapless sun dresses

Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:

Honey

Darlin'

Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias

Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:

Baptist

Methodist

Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:

Red-eye gravy

Grits

Eggs

Country ham

Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn

S'vanah

Foat Wuth

N'awlins

Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform.

Men in tuxedos

Rhett

Southern girls know their prime real estate:

The Mall

The Country Club

The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails

Having bad manners

Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between

a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't

" HAVE " them, you " PITCH " them.

_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,

peas, beans, etc., make up " a mess. "

_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction

of " yonder. "

_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long " directly " is, as in: " Going

to town, be back directly. "

_____

Even Southern babies know that " Gimme some sugar " is not a request

for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little

bowl in the middle of the table.

_____

All Southerners know exactly when " by and by " is. They might not use

the term, but they know the concept well.

_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace

for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and

a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real

crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between " right near "

and " a right far piece. " They also know that " just down the road " can

be 1 mile or 20.

_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between

a redneck, a good ol' boy, and Po white trash.

_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing

turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

_____

A Southerner knows that " fixin " can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when

we're " in line, " . we talk to everybody!

_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee

are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food;

and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

_____

When you hear someone say, " Well, I caught myself lookin', " you know

you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

_____

Only true Southerners say " sweet tea " and " sweet milk. " Sweet tea

indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea

unsweetened. " Sweet milk " means you don't want buttermilk.

_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little

old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, " Bless her

heart " ... and go your own way.

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a

long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that

reads " I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could. "

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends

Are fahevah!