Re: I need help, please....

[Guest guest]

sounds like paxil time to me

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

[Guest guest]

> This is Jacqui's 3rd day home from school.

>

> She has had a headache now for 3 days, She vomitted the first day,

Has had a

> fever anywhere from 100.6 - 102.2, and has complained that her

tummy hurts.

>

> She has not eaten anything to speak of, but is drinking water.>>

Well, first order of business is to be sure that there is nothing

going on physically...fevers and stomach aches can be from allergies,

but usually not THAT high, so you may have a virus going; stress can

definitely decrease the immune system's ability to fight off those

cruddy little buggies, and kids with autism often have weak immune

systems to begin with...and plenty of stress. And if she isn't

eating well...well, just see what the doctor says this morning, and

go from there.

>> I asked her point blank this morning what she was scared of. She

> said " everything " .

> I asked her if something happened at school to make her scared and

> not want to go.

> She said:

>

> " I cried......and you left " .>>

Penny, you made a judgement call in the middle of a crisis; it's hard

to say what would have been better...don't beat yourself up about

this. It's a tough call...when to let them work it out and when

to " save " them...

>> What do I do? >>

My (questionable) advice? Take it a step at a time. Honestly, I

would give her a ton of TLC...can't hurt, and it sounds like she

really does need the reassurance. I would baby her for a day or two;

if this is about fear, then the " cure " is to help her feel safe,

right? And while she is recouperating, it might be worthwhile to

find out as much as you can about what is going on at school...she

has been unhappy about going for too long. Will she draw pictures

about school for you, play out school stories with dolls or puppets,

or give you solid enough answers to questions that you can piece

together what the real issue is?

Is the classroom too loud? Chaotic? Is someone there treating her

badly? Is she feeling stress from all this nonsense about the move

to another school? Is she feeling YOUR stress? Not placing blame at

all...just saying that really picks up on my feelings---he

doesn't trust his own judgement on things, so I'm his guage on what

is good/bad about the world, and he often over-reacts when I am even

slightly surprised or upset, because if *I* don't feel okay about

what is going on, how can he?

I know that the sodding thing is causing her some stress, but my gut

feeling is that if the school felt okay to her in general, she could

be coddled into accepting that change...

Does she get OT? Have they set up any kind of sensory diet for you

to do at home?

Getting the stress level down, getting her out of crisis mode...top

priority.

How long till school is over for the summer? It could be she just

really needs the break to regroup?

Raena

[Guest guest]

> " I cried......and you left " .

>

> :-(

> And she's right, I did. I really believed it was the right thing to do.

Oh, Penny. I really truly believed you'd done the right thing too.

I honestly DON'T think that's made her physically sick; I think it's just

uppermost in her mind because she feels crappy and remembers that THAT made

her feel crappy. Well, at least that's what *I* do when I', sick -- get

depressed about other things.

I wish I knew what to suggest. I have to go to the library. Maybe when I

come home I'll have something.

(((hugs)))

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>

> I honestly DON'T think that's made her physically sick; I think it's just

> uppermost in her mind because she feels crappy and remembers that THAT

made

> her feel crappy. Well, at least that's what *I* do when I', sick -- get

> depressed about other things.

>

SO true. Enrique in his panic attacks tends to latch onto something as the

cause. It never is, I mean, what he latches on to might bother him a bit

but it is rarely the real cause of the panic attack (which as far as I can

tell is just built up stress)

Salli

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all of your replies, I will respond to all of them soon.

We went to the doctor this morning. My poor baby could barely walk to get

there. This whole thing is totally unlike her.

We got her to give a urine sample (took two of us, Dwight holding the

bathroom door open, light OFF, and me catching the pee in a cup), but she

did it!

The initial tests showed no infection, but the doctor is sending cultures to

the lab just to make sure.

He took her temp in the office...It was 103.2!! Eegads.

The only thing I can do right now is wait it out, and wait for the call. It

seems to be a nasty virus...but she gets sick so seldom it's so out of the

ordinary....

Penny

[Guest guest]

>> He took her temp in the office...It was 103.2!! Eegads.

>

> The only thing I can do right now is wait it out, and wait for the

call. It

> seems to be a nasty virus...>>

Oh...poor baby. I hope that this lovely little bug finds its way out

of her life very soon. Motrin, ice chips, and jello, huh?

Hate these virus things--they don't usually last too long, but boy

are they ugly while they're around...

Raena

[Guest guest]

It sounds awful. Hopefully it is nothing serious and that it passes

quickly.

Jacquie H

> Thanks for all of your replies, I will respond to all of them soon.

>

> We went to the doctor this morning. My poor baby could barely walk

to get

> there. This whole thing is totally unlike her.

>

> We got her to give a urine sample (took two of us, Dwight holding

the

> bathroom door open, light OFF, and me catching the pee in a cup),

but she

> did it!

>

> The initial tests showed no infection, but the doctor is sending

cultures to

> the lab just to make sure.

>

> He took her temp in the office...It was 103.2!! Eegads.

>

> The only thing I can do right now is wait it out, and wait for the

call. It

> seems to be a nasty virus...but she gets sick so seldom it's so out

of the

> ordinary....

>

> Penny

[Guest guest]

Hope she feels better soon, Penny. was fighting a fever yesterday and

a friend suggested popsicles. They helped cool her off and bring down the temp.

Tuna

>> He took her temp in the office...It was 103.2!! Eegads.

>

> The only thing I can do right now is wait it out, and wait for the

call. It

> seems to be a nasty virus...>>

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[Guest guest]

Penny, I don't think Jacqui is sick because of that.

If she is running a fever, she probably has a virus or

something. It was not caused by you leaving her at

school. Could you spend the day at her school with

her for a day when she goes back? Maybe if you

reassured her that you would not leave her, you could

get her to transition back into the classroom? Is she

on any anxiety meds?

Sorry, I hope she feels better soon....and gets

back into the swing of things at school.

Tamara

--- Penny wrote:

> This is Jacqui's 3rd day home from school.

>

> She has had a headache now for 3 days, She vomitted

> the first day, Has had a

> fever anywhere from 100.6 - 102.2, and has

> complained that her tummy hurts.

>

> She has not eaten anything to speak of, but is

> drinking water.

>

> We had a talk this morning and she was visibly upset

> and anxious. She is

> very concerned (scared) of the new line at school.

> We had already decided

> yesterday that she would not have to line up in the

> line, that I would take

> her to class from the main entrance.

>

> I asked her point blank this morning what she was

> scared of. She said

> " everything " .

> I asked her if something happened at school to make

> her scared and not want

> to go.

> She said:

>

> " I cried......and you left " .

>

> :-(

> And she's right, I did. I really believed it was

> the right thing to do. I

> have always said that I would not leave her in an

> anxious state because I

> didn't want to lose her trust. At that moment, I

> knew it was important for

> her to stay at school and important for us to

> separate. Now I'm paying for

> it.

>

> I don't know what to do. She hasn't been out of bed

> for 3 days.

>

> We have a doctor appointment at 10:45. (figures, I

> have to see a different

> pedi, cuz her regular pedi has no other

> openings...grrrr)

>

> What do I do?

>

>

>

> Penny

> " Reality is always controlled by the people who are

> most insane " Dogbert -

> 6/14/98

>

>

=====

Tamara

mom to :

Ebony, 4 yrs -- asd, ADHD, bi-polar

, 1 year

wife to:

Terry, love of my life

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

>>>>>

Well, first order of business is to be sure that there is nothing

going on physically...fevers and stomach aches can be from allergies,

but usually not THAT high, so you may have a virus going; stress can

definitely decrease the immune system's ability to fight off those

cruddy little buggies, and kids with autism often have weak immune

systems to begin with...and plenty of stress. And if she isn't

eating well...well, just see what the doctor says this morning, and

go from there.

<<<<<<

There doesn't seem to be any infection, but I'm still waiting for a call

from the doc on the urine cultures.

>>>>

Penny, you made a judgement call in the middle of a crisis; it's hard

to say what would have been better...don't beat yourself up about

this. It's a tough call...when to let them work it out and when

to " save " them...

<<<<

I know. And this was the FIRST time I had walked away when she has been so

out of control. She has had this on her mind now since it happened.

>>>>>

My (questionable) advice? Take it a step at a time. Honestly, I

would give her a ton of TLC...can't hurt, and it sounds like she

really does need the reassurance. I would baby her for a day or two;

if this is about fear, then the " cure " is to help her feel safe,

right?

<<<<<

Right. And that's what I have been attempting to relay.

>>>>

Is the classroom too loud? Chaotic? Is someone there treating her

badly?

<<<<<

No. Everything is pretty much routine as always EXCEPT for the new line up

procedure

>>>>

Is she feeling stress from all this nonsense about the move

to another school? Is she feeling YOUR stress?

<<<<

This is a distinct possibility

>>>>

Does she get OT? Have they set up any kind of sensory diet for you

to do at home?

<<<<

She does get OT at school, but nothing at home...That's why I think it's

time to set up a

therapy room.

>>>>>

Getting the stress level down, getting her out of crisis mode...top

priority.

<<<<<

Exactly..Getting her out of crisis mode!!!

>>>>>

How long till school is over for the summer? It could be she just

really needs the break to regroup?

<<<<<

She starts track break on June17th, goes back in July...Then she ends first

grade Aug 14, starts 2nd grade Aug 28th.

Thanks Raena...Until now, I haven't had to deal with this level of

anxiety...It's going to be quite a challenge...

Penny

[Guest guest]

Ya know, ...

I had that going in the back of my mind...how bad her anxiety was....and

would I have to get her to a psychiatrist to help her get her back on track.

:-(

Penny

Re: I need help, please....

sounds like paxil time to me

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

[Guest guest]

Salli -

This morning I broke down and cackled. Yep, cackled.

It hit me. What is happening with my child? How can a 7-year old hold SO

much anxiety inside??? How she must feel...I can't stand it.

How do you all do it? How do you do it????

Penny

[Guest guest]

>>>>>

Oh...poor baby. I hope that this lovely little bug finds its way out

of her life very soon. Motrin, ice chips, and jello, huh?

<<<<<

Motrin? Nope...No meds AT ALL. The doc gave us Blue Raspberry Advil

Suspension which we were sure she'd take, but nop.

Ice Chips? Well, Ice Water...and lots of it.

Jello? Didn't even think of Jello, but everything else we've tried has been

a no-go...the only thing she's eaten since Sunday night is a hard boiled egg

white.

Penny :-(

[Guest guest]

>

> How do you all do it? How do you do it????

>

When you have no choice, then you do what you have to do.

And somehow we survive.

Salli

[Guest guest]

>> It hit me. What is happening with my child? How can a 7-year old

> hold SO much anxiety inside??? How she must feel...I can't stand

> it.

>

> How do you all do it? How do you do it???? >>

Penny,

I know this note was to Salli, but I wanted to say something. We

went through an indescribably wretched time when was 6...and

most of it, I am convinced, was stress related. It was honestly not

a day to day thing...it was minute to minute. What you do, when you

have to, is deal with the moment, and forget the rest. You look at

what has to happen to get from point A to point B, then from point B

to point C...forget point Z for now---you'll get there, but it isn't

something to worry about today. Step by step...looking at Jacqui's

needs for RIGHT NOW...that's how you do it.

Jacqui is telling you something important with her behaviors...the

trick is sorting it all out, helping her tell you what is going on,

and looking at options to get her through it. Fear is such an

overwhelming emotion that you truly have to bring that down

first...comfort, calm, a feeling that everything is okay, is the

order of the day. While she is home recovering from this bug, I

would concentrate on that...and see what she tells you. I realize

that kids with autism aren't great communicators of delicate

emotional issues, but my bet is that keen observation and careful

questioning will get you there if you take your time...and that will

tell you what the next step should be.

She says that the new line up system is upsetting her...can she

elaborate on that? Is she located in a place where other kids are

bumping her (or where she is worried about that constantly)? Is

there more than one line so that she is having to

visually/auditorially attend to kids on all sides? Does the new line

up procedure change her visual orientation when coming into the

building so that she feels lost? Has she perhaps missed out on some

of the explanation of what she is to do, and feeling confused (and

thus frightened) about what her " job " is in the line? There are so

many little things that could be going on; can you look at her

specific sensory issues and see what is most likely to be a problem

and question in that direction?

Raena

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

> How do you all do it? How do you do it????

>

When you have no choice, then you do what you have to do.

And somehow we survive.

Salli

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

And we find good people to lean on, like the members of PA.

Tuna

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[Guest guest]

I tired popsicles. She ate half of it and threw it up. :-(

Today is day 5 with virtually no food....ugh

Penny

Re: Re: I need help, please....

Hope she feels better soon, Penny. was fighting a fever yesterday

and a friend suggested popsicles. They helped cool her off and bring down

the temp.

Tuna

[Guest guest]

> I tired popsicles. She ate half of it and threw it up. :-(

> Today is day 5 with virtually no food....ugh >

Penny,

She is drinking, right? Is it only water or can you slip in a bit of

calories here and there...like a few spoonfuls of 7up in a cup of

water, or a bit of pedialyte? I would think she is getting fairly

weak by now if she isn't getting any calories...

Has the doctor given you any guidelines for getting her to eat

again? I remember with one of my kids (Elaine, actually), they told

me to start with tiny bites of things...like one bite of chopped

popscicle or jello and wait 15 minutes...then another bite and

another 15 minutes...very slowly to make sure it stays down. It took

several days to get her back on " real " food. Might be time to call

in to the doctor's office and ask about how to go about this...

Raena

[Guest guest]

hi Raena -

Yes..She is drinking a lot of water.

What concerns me now is that she is still complaining of stomach pain.

I think I am going to make some jello and see if she will eat that later...

I would like to try the BRAT diet, but she will not eat Bananas, Rice,

Applesauce or Toast.

This is what makes having a 'sick' Autist hard. Her diet is SO limited

already, and now... it's nothing...

We will be returning to the doctor if this continues....

Thanks!

Penny

[Guest guest]

> hi Raena -

>> I would like to try the BRAT diet, but she will not eat Bananas,

Rice,

> Applesauce or Toast.

>

> This is what makes having a 'sick' Autist hard. Her diet is SO

limited

> already, and now... it's nothing...>>

What kinds of things does she eat? Cheerios, rice, soft scrambled

eggs, crackers? If I recall, those are all on the " recovery " diet we

used to have from the pediatrician...wish I still had that handout--I

can't remember the sequence/timing of it all...I do know that they

moved into things like lean meat (white chicken, boiled) and such

fairly quickly once the vomiting was over, but I can't remember it

exactly, so don't know what to tell you there.

Hopefully she will be feeling like eating a bit today. They do make

pedialyte popscicles...if it would stay down.

Raena

[Guest guest]

Here's a website I found, don't know if it will help or not:

http://www.quickcare.org/gast/diet.html

Raena

[Guest guest]

Ah Penny, I'm sorry she's feeling so bad. Did the dr. help you out at all?

Tuna

Re: Re: I need help, please....

Hope she feels better soon, Penny. was fighting a fever yesterday

and a friend suggested popsicles. They helped cool her off and bring down

the temp.

Tuna

[Guest guest]

What about dry cereal? You could try some plain low-sugar stuff like corn

flakes, rice crispies or Special K.

Tuna

RE: Re: I need help, please....

hi Raena -

Yes..She is drinking a lot of water.

What concerns me now is that she is still complaining of stomach pain.

I think I am going to make some jello and see if she will eat that later...

I would like to try the BRAT diet, but she will not eat Bananas, Rice,

Applesauce or Toast.

This is what makes having a 'sick' Autist hard. Her diet is SO limited

already, and now... it's nothing...

We will be returning to the doctor if this continues....

Thanks!

Penny

[Guest guest]

>>>>

She says that the new line up system is upsetting her...can she

elaborate on that? Is she located in a place where other kids are

bumping her (or where she is worried about that constantly)? Is

there more than one line so that she is having to

visually/auditorially attend to kids on all sides? Does the new line

up procedure change her visual orientation when coming into the

building so that she feels lost? Has she perhaps missed out on some

of the explanation of what she is to do, and feeling confused (and

thus frightened) about what her " job " is in the line? There are so

many little things that could be going on; can you look at her

specific sensory issues and see what is most likely to be a problem

and question in that direction?

<<<<

The line is definitely the issue. She is totally disoriented and won't go to

the line at all!

She only went to the line once, and I was with her (i'm always with her).

It's such a thing that we all take for granted, but it totally dislodged her

world.

It sucks.

Penny

[Guest guest]

Tried it...She won't do it.

She did eat a Tuna sandwich and chocolate chip cookie after school at

Subway...

Guess we're on our way! (Although, we had Pizza for dinner and she didn't

touch it)

Penny

Re: Re: I need help, please....

What about dry cereal? You could try some plain low-sugar stuff like corn

flakes, rice crispies or Special K.

Tuna