Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 I don't know what makes people say things like that...I think it might just be their own insecurity (not referring to here, but to the lady at Curves who gleefully proclaimed I would just " gain it all back. " ) I've had a lot of rude comments...from " Wow, now you're as skinny as I am! " (Delivered to me at a size 10 by a cow-orker who two weeks later confided that she was a size 16, in a very very catty manner.) To: " You look so pretty now! Isn't it great to feel pretty? " Um, I kinda thought I was pretty before. My weight doesn't define my beauty. I wanted to say " So what are you saying? Was I that much of a visual abomination before? Should I have worn a bag on my head or rung a bell or something to warn people away from my presence? " I was nice, though... ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~` Tory Klementsen, MCP A+ Career and Technology Educator The successful person will do things that the unsuccessful person will not. > Re: 8 pounds a month > > > Dear Tory, > > I've been thinking about this situation. I read it in your blog > before about the lady at Curves saying something about you gaining it > all back, etc. I don't know why people do those sort of things. Is > it insecurity or jealousy? I don't know what gives someone a right to > make such a rude, flippant remark on a very seriously admirable topic > such as your weight loss. Clearly, you have an iron will. > > I've said snappish things to people on other topics and was mortified > at what came out of my mouth. I am in no way making excuses for > anyone doing that. I just wanted to let you know that I remember > what you said and I hope that I can be more conscious in my treatment > of others because of it. > > P.S. way to go on your certification test! > > Amy > > > > > > Eight pounds a month is very doable...I've lost 50 pounds in > less > > > > than 5 months. I am not a doctor or a health professional of > any > > > > > > > > > > Be very carful if you lose so quickly - I did this and it > > > came back just as > > > fast for me. > > > > How can you " be careful " about how fast your body responds > to weight > > loss? > > > > And how can you gain it all back if you stay on program? > > > > I lost fast and honestly, I get tired of being told that I > will " gain it > > all back just as fast. " That's so not supportive! She won't gain it > all > > back if she truly has made a lifestyle change. You, obviously at > that > > point, did not. I'm assuming you have now since you're here with us > and > > share a lot of great advice. > > > > I always ate within my point range, exercised, even dug into the > bank > > and yet I lost an average of 2 pounds a week (92 pounds in 46 > weeks, 102 > > pounds in 51 weeks...WW goal and personal goal respectively). I > could > > have eaten MORE I suppose and slowed down my loss, but that would > have > > been silly and it would NOT have changed how my body reacts > to weigh > > loss. It would have just been eating more calories a week > and taking > > longer to get to where I was going in the first place. Eating more > > during the loss cycle of the program would not have made any > difference > > in how fast I gain weight after losing (if I had gone off program) > > because my body is still going to react the same towards calories. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 Oh I knew you weren't...I just wanted to make sure no one thought I was either. ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~` Tory Klementsen, MCP A+ Career and Technology Educator The successful person will do things that the unsuccessful person will not. > Re: 8 pounds a month > > > For the record, I wasn't saying that anyone here was insecure of > jealous, i just meant what is the basis for those remarks? > > Wow, now you're as skinny as I > > am! " (Delivered to me at a size 10 by a cow-orker who two weeks > later > > confided that she was a size 16, in a very very catty manner.) > > Mmmm....you could secretly shoot birds to your co-workers from > underneath your desk. > > I agree beauty has no size. Just look at Star . > > " You look so pretty now! Isn't it great to feel pretty? " > Nothing like being talked down to. > > ugh! > > > > > > > > > > Eight pounds a month is very doable...I've lost 50 pounds in > > > less > > > > > > than 5 months. I am not a doctor or a health professional of > > > any > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Be very carful if you lose so quickly - I did this > and it came > > > > > back just as fast for me. > > > > > > > > How can you " be careful " about how fast your body responds > > > to weight > > > > loss? > > > > > > > > And how can you gain it all back if you stay on program? > > > > > > > > I lost fast and honestly, I get tired of being told that I > > > will " gain it > > > > all back just as fast. " That's so not supportive! She won't > gain it > > > all > > > > back if she truly has made a lifestyle change. You, obviously at > > > that > > > > point, did not. I'm assuming you have now since you're here > with us > > > and > > > > share a lot of great advice. > > > > > > > > I always ate within my point range, exercised, even dug into the > > > bank > > > > and yet I lost an average of 2 pounds a week (92 pounds in 46 > > > weeks, 102 > > > > pounds in 51 weeks...WW goal and personal goal respectively). I > > > could > > > > have eaten MORE I suppose and slowed down my loss, but that > would > > > have > > > > been silly and it would NOT have changed how my body reacts > > > to weigh > > > > loss. It would have just been eating more calories a week > > > and taking > > > > longer to get to where I was going in the first place. Eating > more > > > > during the loss cycle of the program would not have made any > > > difference > > > > in how fast I gain weight after losing (if I had gone off > program) > > > > because my body is still going to react the same towards > calories. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 OMG Tory!!! That is right up there with " you have such a pretty face " . I have a very dear friend that is African American and we had this guy at a club one night walk up to us and say to her " you are so pretty, for a black girl " , what's up with that. Stupid people, so they honestly think they are paying compliments. -- Re: 8 pounds a month > > > Dear Tory, > > I've been thinking about this situation. I read it in your blog > before about the lady at Curves saying something about you gaining it > all back, etc. I don't know why people do those sort of things. Is > it insecurity or jealousy? I don't know what gives someone a right to > make such a rude, flippant remark on a very seriously admirable topic > such as your weight loss. Clearly, you have an iron will. > > I've said snappish things to people on other topics and was mortified > at what came out of my mouth. I am in no way making excuses for > anyone doing that. I just wanted to let you know that I remember > what you said and I hope that I can be more conscious in my treatment > of others because of it. > > P.S. way to go on your certification test! > > Amy > > > > > > Eight pounds a month is very doable...I've lost 50 pounds in > less > > > > than 5 months. I am not a doctor or a health professional of > any > > > > > > > > > > Be very carful if you lose so quickly - I did this and it > > > came back just as > > > fast for me. > > > > How can you " be careful " about how fast your body responds > to weight > > loss? > > > > And how can you gain it all back if you stay on program? > > > > I lost fast and honestly, I get tired of being told that I > will " gain it > > all back just as fast. " That's so not supportive! She won't gain it > all > > back if she truly has made a lifestyle change. You, obviously at > that > > point, did not. I'm assuming you have now since you're here with us > and > > share a lot of great advice. > > > > I always ate within my point range, exercised, even dug into the > bank > > and yet I lost an average of 2 pounds a week (92 pounds in 46 > weeks, 102 > > pounds in 51 weeks...WW goal and personal goal respectively). I > could > > have eaten MORE I suppose and slowed down my loss, but that would > have > > been silly and it would NOT have changed how my body reacts > to weigh > > loss. It would have just been eating more calories a week > and taking > > longer to get to where I was going in the first place. Eating more > > during the loss cycle of the program would not have made any > difference > > in how fast I gain weight after losing (if I had gone off program) > > because my body is still going to react the same towards calories. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 ooh I got the " you have such a pretty face " ALL the time growing up. My poor sil still gets it from her Aunts. She isn't married yet. At 32 can you believe it, LOL. To my in-laws she is practically an old maid. I always try to maneuver her out of those conversations . Ang At 08:42 AM 6/20/2003 -0400, wrote: >OMG Tory!!! That is right up there with " you have such a pretty face " . I >have a very dear friend that is African American and we had this guy at a >club one night walk up to us and say to her " you are so pretty, for a black >girl " , what's up with that. Stupid people, so they honestly think they are >paying compliments. > > >-- Re: 8 pounds a month > > > > > > Dear Tory, > > > > I've been thinking about this situation. I read it in your blog > > before about the lady at Curves saying something about you gaining it > > all back, etc. I don't know why people do those sort of things. Is > > it insecurity or jealousy? I don't know what gives someone a right to > > make such a rude, flippant remark on a very seriously admirable topic > > such as your weight loss. Clearly, you have an iron will. > > > > I've said snappish things to people on other topics and was mortified > > at what came out of my mouth. I am in no way making excuses for > > anyone doing that. I just wanted to let you know that I remember > > what you said and I hope that I can be more conscious in my treatment > > of others because of it. > > > > P.S. way to go on your certification test! > > > > Amy > > > > > > > > > Eight pounds a month is very doable...I've lost 50 pounds in > > less > > > > > than 5 months. I am not a doctor or a health professional of > > any > > > > > > > > > > > > > Be very carful if you lose so quickly - I did this and it > > > > came back just as > > > > fast for me. > > > > > > How can you " be careful " about how fast your body responds > > to weight > > > loss? > > > > > > And how can you gain it all back if you stay on program? > > > > > > I lost fast and honestly, I get tired of being told that I > > will " gain it > > > all back just as fast. " That's so not supportive! She won't gain it > > all > > > back if she truly has made a lifestyle change. You, obviously at > > that > > > point, did not. I'm assuming you have now since you're here with us > > and > > > share a lot of great advice. > > > > > > I always ate within my point range, exercised, even dug into the > > bank > > > and yet I lost an average of 2 pounds a week (92 pounds in 46 > > weeks, 102 > > > pounds in 51 weeks...WW goal and personal goal respectively). I > > could > > > have eaten MORE I suppose and slowed down my loss, but that would > > have > > > been silly and it would NOT have changed how my body reacts > > to weigh > > > loss. It would have just been eating more calories a week > > and taking > > > longer to get to where I was going in the first place. Eating more > > > during the loss cycle of the program would not have made any > > difference > > > in how fast I gain weight after losing (if I had gone off program) > > > because my body is still going to react the same towards calories. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 I don't know WHAT is wrong with people that make comments like the ones you've listed here, is it brain lapses or jealousy or do they really think they are complimenting those people?? I guess we have to have a thick skin and just go forward. I really didn't get much of that, pretty face why can't you lost weight thing but I do have some memories of being slightly overweight as a pre-teen and teen (would love to have that problem now, as I don't think I was that bad then with maybe 20 to lose) and the family buying certain snacks and stuff for my brothers and not for me. The thing that has hurt the most this time around is people NOT saying anything when I reached goal two years ago--people at the kids' school that had only seen me heavy. I guess my thought was that 87 pounds REALLY alters someone in a big way and that it would be cause for people to say congrats or something, so when people didn't say anything it hurt. I went from a size 22/24 down to a size 8/10 and that is a pretty big difference. Alot of people DID say something but the ones that didn't really surprised me and I had to get over that hurt and surprise--now I could care less what anyone says as I reach goal again. Anyone else have any circumstances where people didn't say anything?? In a few cases, I'd even casually mention that I'd reached my lifetime goal and had lost 87 pounds and the catty " blanks " would say oh, the sky sure looks nice today and that would be so infuriating. -----Original Message----- From: Pimentel Sent: Friday, June 20, 2003 8:33 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 It could be that people didn't say anything because they didn't want you to think that they noticed that you had been overweight. Does that make sense?? You know, a comment like " Wow! You've lost a LOT of weight! " might make some people feel like they must have really been fat... even if they were, some folks like to assume that no one else noticed. Or, a LOT of weight to someone might be 10 pounds whereas to others it is 50+. When my friends were visiting a couple of weeks ago, I had made a comment to my friend Becky that she really looked good and asked how she'd gotten so skinny. My friend also chimed in that Becky looked great. Becky laughed and said she weighed exactly the same. Becky is almost six feet tall and wears a size 16. She said that she weighs over 180 pounds. What?! A size 16 on Becky is what a size 12 would like on me - absolutely perfect. Anyhow, where I was going with this was that THEN I hoped that I hadn't insulted her by implying that she needed to lose weight BEFORE. I guess some people just don't know what to say or they think you've heard it from so many other people that you are probably sick of the compliments. -----Original Message----- From: scmoore Alot of people DID say something but the ones that didn't really surprised me and I had to get over that hurt and surprise--now I could care less what anyone says as I reach goal again. Anyone else have any circumstances where people didn't say anything?? In a few cases, I'd even casually mention that I'd reached my lifetime goal and had lost 87 pounds and the catty " blanks " would say oh, the sky sure looks nice today and that would be so infuriating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 I think some people are afraid to say anything about your weight loss, I found that out when I mentioned to someone that I had lost 93 lbs in the last year on weight watchers, they said they could sure tell I had lost a lot of weight but were afraid to say anything because they thought I may have been sick. I can imagine how embarrassing it would be to congratulate someone on their weight loss only to find out they had cancer or something. Charlie > RE: Re: 8 pounds a month > > > I don't know WHAT is wrong with people that make comments like the ones > you've listed here, is it brain lapses or jealousy or do they really think > they are complimenting those people?? I guess we have to have a thick skin > and just go forward. > I really didn't get much of that, pretty face why can't you lost weight > thing but I do have some memories of being slightly overweight as > a pre-teen > and teen (would love to have that problem now, as I don't think I was that > bad then with maybe 20 to lose) and the family buying certain snacks and > stuff for my brothers and not for me. > The thing that has hurt the most this time around is people NOT saying > anything when I reached goal two years ago--people at the kids' > school that > had only seen me heavy. I guess my thought was that 87 pounds > REALLY alters > someone in a big way and that it would be cause for people to say congrats > or something, so when people didn't say anything it hurt. I went > from a size > 22/24 down to a size 8/10 and that is a pretty big difference. Alot of > people DID say something but the ones that didn't really > surprised me and I > had to get over that hurt and surprise--now I could care less what anyone > says as I reach goal again. Anyone else have any circumstances > where people > didn't say anything?? > In a few cases, I'd even casually mention that I'd reached my > lifetime goal > and had lost 87 pounds and the catty " blanks " would say oh, the sky sure > looks nice today and that would be so infuriating. > > > > -----Original Message----- > From: Pimentel > Sent: Friday, June 20, 2003 8:33 AM > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2003 Report Share Posted June 20, 2003 > ooh I got the " you have such a pretty face " ALL the time > growing up. My > poor sil still gets it from her Aunts. She isn't married > yet. At 32 can > you believe it, LOL. To my in-laws she is practically an old > maid. I > always try to maneuver her out of those conversations . I used to get that too. Oh, and I always loved this one from my Mom. " You're not pretty now, honey, but you'll be beautiful when you grow up. " Yeah, just what every little girl wants to hear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2003 Report Share Posted June 21, 2003 That just makes me want to cry ;o( My mom has said some mean and hurtful things but at least most of it was said when I was an adult and could slam her right back. Unless of course you count all the times she called us " You Little Sh**s " My sister always jokes that it took till she was 12 years old before she realized that wasn't her name ) She knows better than to say things to me now, get a taste of your own medicine and it isn't to pleasant. How can people say such hurtful things to their children! Kris -----Original Message----- I used to get that too. Oh, and I always loved this one from my Mom. " You're not pretty now, honey, but you'll be beautiful when you grow up. " Yeah, just what every little girl wants to hear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2003 Report Share Posted June 21, 2003 Thanks Cliff, I know that I can't let it bother me this time and I think that I've let that go--just surprised the heck out of me last time I reached goal. This time I'm going to just be happy that I DID it and not worry about what anyone says or doesn't say. Great to hear the support on here!! Re: 8 pounds a month Hi , To answer your question, yes. But you know what I found after thinking about it? It was people I know who are either overweight or totally obese who didn't say anything. Whether it is jealousy or their feeling self-conscious about their weight, I'm not sure. But hey, no skin off my nose if they didn't say anything. I'm happy I made the decision to lose weight. I wouldn't let it bother you too much. Cliff 240/190/189 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2003 Report Share Posted June 21, 2003 Cliff...you must feel like a new person! Are there pics of you anywhere? And your attitude is great too! Your history is an inspiration! Thank You! Sharon ] Re: 8 pounds a month Hi , To answer your question, yes. But you know what I found after thinking about it? It was people I know who are either overweight or totally obese who didn't say anything. Whether it is jealousy or their feeling self-conscious about their weight, I'm not sure. But hey, no skin off my nose if they didn't say anything. I'm happy I made the decision to lose weight. I wouldn't let it bother you too much. Cliff 240/190/189 started at 284 before joining WW at 240...lost the first 40 on my own Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2003 Report Share Posted June 21, 2003 > That just makes me want to cry ;o( It caused a lot of tears growing up. I used to think " If my own mother can't see any beauty in me, there must be none to be found. " Gee, wonder why I used to have self esteem issues? (Not looking for a pity party, I'm fine now. I learned to make my own magic without the approval from mommy.) > My mom has said some mean and hurtful things but at least > most of it was said when I was an adult and could slam her > right back. Unless of course you count all the times she > called us " You Little Sh**s " My sister always jokes that it > took till she was 12 years old before she realized that > wasn't her name ) She knows better than to say things to > me now, get a taste of your own medicine and it isn't to > pleasant. How can people say such hurtful things to their children! I simply do not understand it. I do know my mother grew up with a really evil mother, who actually made mine look like Poppins, so I know she learned it at her own mothers' knee. I learned a lot from her, though. While unfortunately I do not have children, I am always very very careful about what I say to my own students because I know how long children's memories are, and the impact a few careless or mean spirited words can have. I think my mom wasn't a happy woman as a mother, and she took it out on us. She liked to play mental games with us to keep us in her place. That's what she learned, so that's what she did! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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