Guest guest Posted January 26, 2004 Report Share Posted January 26, 2004 That's an interesting perspective. I am glad there is a bit of a sense of humor even at this horrible time of your life. You seem very strong. Please let us know what you need from your cyber friends. Hope that things go as well and as peacefully as possible for you both God Bless Narice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2004 Report Share Posted January 26, 2004 Maeve, your post touched me very deeply and brought tears to my eyes. I feel the love you share with your husband and this love will never die. I also feel the same way about my husband and I will be there for him, if it's God's will, not matter what.....and for my mom as well. Peace and God's blessings back to you. Monika > My husband Dick had surgery (right hemicolectomy) for HNPCC on July > 29. Surgeon found dozens of liver mets and, later, we learned that > he has lung and brain mets as well. He chose to have no treatment, > since chemo would probably not extend his life and would definitely > make him ill, since his liver was not functional. He recovered very > slowly from the surgery. In September he was given two months to > live...the docs said he wouldn't make it to Thanksgiving. > > Well, here we are, the holidays behind us and coming up to our 41st > wedding anniversary on February 9. > > This week hasn't been a good one. He's " lost his independence " , he > says. The bedside commode is installed in his room and he needs help > to sit up. He's very weak, much more so than two weeks ago. The > hospice nurse has promised pain meds because he's having pain that > can't be controlled by Tylenol (and he shouldn't be taking Tylenol > anyway....his liver isn't functioning very well). We're getting Oxy- > something-or-other IR, which is a step below Oxycontin. > > Our ten-year-old was off on a sleep-over this week-end so we had lots > of time to talk. I asked him if he still thought this was better > than " being run over by a truck " . He's still at peace: says he glad > that he's had the chance to talk it out with the adult kids and that > we've had lots of time to reminisce (sp). He's 65, we've been married > for almost 41 years, we've raised four kids, two bio and two adopted > and our beloved grandchild. He's spent a lot of time with the kids > and Kara, our granddaughter. They know he loves them and he knows > that the valued his experience and love him too. > > He'll be gone from us soon. He knows this and so do we. I've been > privileged to spend time with a person whom I love who's dying. Not > many people get this chance. So, my message is, no matter that your > partner or parent who has cc is dying or fighting, spend time to tell > that person what they have meant to you. Life's a journey. Everyone > needs a hand to hold as they get to the end of the journey. > > Peace, Maeve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Maeve: I want to let you know that my heart goes out to you as you travel on this part of the journey. You worded your post so well. I have been on that journey twice and I understand. Although it was very difficult to watch my dear husband and father in their last months dealing with colon cancer, I did feel privileged to spend such a special intimate time with them. I felt that it was important for us to spend as much quality time with each other during those last couple of months, but also during the last weeks and days. Although there never seems enough time to say everything one would want to say and do everything one would want to do with a loved one, we did get to express our feelings to one another so that we each knew how much we meant to each other. I often think that if their passing was sudden, I may not have had that opportunity. During and since that time, I have put my life into perspective even more, and made certain to make every minute count with my family and loved ones. I keep as my mantra the following saying that I found here on this site: Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. I hope that everyone on this site takes advantage of the present. Enjoy every minute while you or your loved one is healthy or healthier. Don't wait...make plans to spend special times with your loved ones now. And then also be there to hold each other's hands when you need each other. Although I had not had time to post often, I still often lurk on this site and try to keep up with my dear friends here. Thinking and praying for the best for all of you, Amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 Maeve: I too want to thank you for your comforting and heartfelt post. > Darren wrote: " It's so hard to try and plan for something which is becoming inevitably closer, but not exactly known... " I agree - the hardest part is preparing oneself for something that is not completely predictable. And I guess that all the most important life passages are exactly that way. I'm so glad you've had a chance to develop such wonderful memories with your husband. You seem like two very special people with a very special family. Thanks again, and hugs to you, Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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